Personal power

We all go through hard challenges. There’s no revelation there. And it times of hardship, it does become rather hard to know how to depend on self. Especially when our personal sense of self, or our personal drive or sense of direction gets blown out.

It’s rather hard to simply figure out one’s way, when one’s way of sensing one’s way has been;.. removed.

Imagine, you’ve always done things a certain way, then one morning you get into a car accident, and you awake to realise that the way you do things no longer applies to you. You have to adapt, you have to understand… what your standards of procedure will be for your daily operating. How you get into ‘the zone‘.

If you cannot shine, what happens next is that there’s no point aiming for anything because… well, there’s no point of arrival and confirmation. There is no joy in the future to aspire to. Which means that, the above accident had taken away your ability to feel joyful in the future…

Well, in these moments, it’s rather easy to wake up in the morning and start wondering if there is a God. Because, you’re powerless in regard to your condition, right?

So, you pray, and you think, and you even whine a little to this all omnipotent entity, and you await an answer. Sometimes your miracles get taken care of, sometimes its just you frustrated and cursing at the walls for what life has done to you.

In these moments of weakness, it feels rather … easy… to suddenly hope for some powerful God who’ll fix you and make everything better. Here’s the kicker, you already had a Dad, and he could do what he could do. But now, you’re on your own, no one’s coming to save you. It’s between you and yourself.

And while I don’t deny that there are spiritual entities helping you to heal and so on. If you don’t do the work, do the hard things, nothing gets done. Your winnings don’t just leap into your lap. You have to build your bucket for the day it rains, otherwise you don’t catch any water…

Right now, it’s raining, but right now I’m dealing with my own version of this current crisis of meaning and direction. Finding it difficult to project, because my current personal equation makes it difficult to project with. If you lose an arm or a leg, your future will either include no leg, or it will include a prosthetic limb. If you’re projecting into a form of reality, your future will be based upon your current equation of physical, mental and emotional status.

So, when you’re going through something difficult, it’s sometimes rather difficult to project into the future, to see the brighter day, from a stand point that… yes something happened to you, and that thing can resolve itsself, but until that resolution happens, your vision of the future will be warped by your present equation.

Now, I find that, relying too heavily on an all powerful God, to make it all better and fix my current situation… sometimes disempowering, because it means I’m looking externally for God to fix my situation, when I should be looking internally for my own inner state of God. Because when we align with our inner Godlike power in the attempt of something, what happens is God or the universe usually joins you and supports you to get you to where you’re going.

But when you’re feeling pathetic and low and ailing and waiting for something to happen, God will probably do the same. It seems…

I hope I’m not jaded in this perspective, and I do reserve an open door for new perspectives. But I do however tend to see that the moments when I take leaps, those are the moments when things tend to … get better. I can sit in my chair and so on, but until I go out and do things, nothing happens, no one can happen, and no external influences can happen.

I suppose that, if we really think about it, God is everyone and everything at the same time, so if you meet the right person who sais the right thing which shifts you internally … that’s because you put yourself in the right place.

So, perhaps disconnection has its place, for healing, for reassessing, for preparing… but the disconnect prevents you from the giving of the gift of what you’ve done in your isolation to others… And that is the purpose of your gift.