Past relationships a thing of the past?

Truth is, I couldn’t have seen this coming, but I’ve grown.

Out childhood is full of wonderful and dreadful situations. We make our knowledge of
the world based upon what we’re introduced to.
And if we grow up seeing our parents a specific way, the simple way of seeing them will taint our outlook on the world and our relationships will, in consequence relate to our perception.

I feel fortunate enough to have revisited the way I perceive my parents and to have worked on my relationship with them and how I see them. I’m grateful to have let go of the way I saw the world before. It’s beyond amazing.

Up until I started doing the work about 10 years ago, I had a vision of how my parents were, which was preset within my mind. I seemed unalterable, in fact it didn’t even cross my mind. Some things where set in stone and life was pretty much dependable on how big an ego one could afford to display.

The way we see our parents affect our relationships, and if something we perceived as painful was our standard and norm to relationships, then the people in our lives would represent just that.

Though, a few years down the line, meeting people again, I experience a shift.
Although, I’ve been through vortex’s of change. I’ve experienced dimensions of reality contrastingly different from anything I knew before, when I met most of the people.
So, simply meeting these people again, I cannot help but see them in a positive light because that is how I look at the world and treat people.

Their actions, most of them unforgivable or unacceptable, even if really well disguised in polite forms of humour and excuses, cannot relate to what I am now. It simply doesn’t match what I am and therefor serves as a contrast to my evolution and theirs.

Funnily enough, I’ve experienced shifts which cannot support what I used to be.
This means, I can no longer surround myself with the people I used to know.

It’s a little like changing your car from diesel to electric. The old friends are stuck in their gas guzzling ways which no longer apply to your reality. While your new acquaintances and the people who want the best for you and deliver what is best for you, are on another energy source.

One pollutes (your mind) and keeps you in the past, the other is striving to go forward (and strives for more efficient and respectful alternatives).

It seems like it’s time for spring cleaning, and when letting go of what no longer fits, you make space for new updated, cleaner and better fitting solutions.



Thoughts on the effect of love

The thought of losing love is a scary thing for anyone, even the toughest of us.
The gnarly stomach knots one gets in the stomach when they try to go forward with their mind while their heart still hopes, even with all the information proving its time to leave.

We experience tense nervous responses in the midst of breakups as we’ve been exposed and potentially healed. Though, throughout the exchange during the relationship, we were picking up on subtle and not so subtle inputs. We add these subtle but profound tweaks to our command center as we have access to it in those times.
Being in a loving relationship opens up doors you didn’t believe you had, especially if the person triggers patterns from a very long time ago.

If the door they open, in which they add new input, is on a profound level, it changes fundamental beliefs within us. These core beliefs then align and alter the nervous composition which synchronises our physical bodies into the application of our internal laws. We’re governed by the software inside us.

What we knew before the relationship becomes out of date. We need to update. Our hardware then struggles to apply the new concepts into physicality as we’ve been living a specific way for a while. Our bodies are in the habit of living one way, while being exposed to our ways gradually shows us what doesn’t work and what is unhealthy.

Then, when the relationship comes to an abrupt end, our nervous system with its tense wiring shifts as if to adapt to the new software. This is our gut churning and the intense discomfort we have inside which makes us want to cry. Though, it’s simply a shifting of our physical reality and perceptions which are adapting to a new, evolved way within.

It’s important to not force ourselves in the moments after, as our bodies are already going through a lot of emotional upheaval, this demands a lot of energy. But more importantly it’s important not to force our body with our minds and simply let our body adapt to the new updated software we now have or the letting go of what doesn’t serve us anymore.

What ever we do, the emotions need to come up to the surface, then we can get back to work.

Psychological updates

Have you ever wondered about the concept of why highly successful people will only associate with people who are higher up than they are? And why they need to be surrounded by an entourage of people who make their lives better simply because the people who are around them are better in respects to X or Y domaine?

Its about the concept of psychological updates.

In us, we all have a masculine and feminine internatal structure. This internal structure is based upon our internal father and mother. The knowledge which, has been looked upon and worked and updated to the latest and best firmware our emotional connections can deliver. Our minds then try to make sense of the relationships we currently have or had and then once the “installation” or psychological adaptation of the new Masculine or Feminine internal reference inside our psyche’s we feel a sense of freedom inside which inspires us towards action with a new perspective.

The new perspectives are based upon the fact we changed our base knowledge upon which we are experiencing the world. Our current perception is changed upon the evolution of our internal Masculine or Feminine references.

So, for example, meeting a mentor will help us, if he is a man, to evolve in regards to our inner Masculine. Same for a Feminine reference.

This also works when you’re in a relationship with someone. If the relationship is really difficult to accept and deal with on an emotional level, this simply denotes internal tectonic plaques moving our entire perception due to the depth at which they are working upon us. Now, I’m not referencing superficial relationships, obviously you’ll have to have done the work on yourself, and many entrepreneurs have.

Though what I’m grabbing at here is the depth of a relationship and how able you are to share on a profound level will ultimately alter your perception on a core level. This is why relationships with family members are the hardest to deal with and why arguments with family members are so raw. It’s straight to the bone. And the more open you can be with someone, the stronger the shift when arguments take place or changes occur.

For example, if you’re struggling with someone who has traits you simply cannot accept, the confrontation with that individual will create a visceral reaction within you. The nature of that emotion, in the moment will be intense and maybe difficult to get over, but ultimately you’ll be moving core foundational settings within you.

Singular blueprints; one size fits all knowledge.

We live neither in the era of Jesus, nor do we live in the era of King Salomon, Martin Luther King Jr, or even Bill Gates… even if he lives in the same era as us he wasn’t born in the same generation as mine and his mind formed very differently to that of my generation for example.

As much as there is interesting and maybe coherent information stemming from different era’s, societies and other people; globally, their lives are different from yours.
Their quotes may inspire motivation or might compel you to action, an aspect in their life and how they delt with it may give you key insights in miming it.

But their lives may only give you a piece of the jigsaw puzzle you need to build your life. Copying other people and doing what they do is a recipe for disaster, simply because their call to action ignites something within them. Though, your internal blueprint, even if similar, is different. Your call to action, your “Aha” moment, your passion towards achieving this one thing is stemmed/linked/stems from something deep down inside you.

Everyone has a different blueprint, no matter how similar we are to each other, in appearance or values, we are deeply different on a number of levels. For this reason, we must simply sift and soft, picking information and taking from what people say with a light pinch of salt. As Opposed to taking the entire jar of salt which would make the dish/project/idea you’re working on disgusting and would spoil the end result.
We, as entities, have different aura’s, vibes, mindsets, perspectives, etc and take away very different conclusions, albeit similar from specific situations, but overall no two people are the same, no matter how much they look alike, sound the same or have similar thoughts…

When we take space and ground ourselves, or better put we “center ourselves”,
we are like Micheal Angelo, refining and thus freeing the sculpture from the brute material, the vast amount of information pilled up in our mind and creating our masterpiece: the idea or the perception. The cornerstone, which becomes foundation to our point of view.

By adding and retracting specific knowledge and accepting or rejecting information, our minds are sorting the wheat from the chaff. Some concepts will stick with us like cement, others will have to be disguarded. Though overall it is in the refining that we discover the essential of what we need.

I say this, bearing in mind my own sensitivity. For this is how I function specifically.
My mind, like a basket on market day, adding the produce of knowledge as my curiosity and interest wax and wane. Until a point where my basket becomes heavy.

I can either:
Get stronger, by going to the Gym and pushing myself so that I can carry more next time.
Separate the fruit and vege/Ideas and concepts, into multiple baskets.
-Make a trip to the Car/home and come back for more.
-Or admit that I have enough until the following week when the farmers come back to sell their produce. Time to go home and consume the food.

The same principles apply to our minds with knowledge:

We can either become stronger and force our minds to accumulate more information, thus rendering the Idea to be colossal and fortified. Many Specialists have this capacity.

We can Separate the bits of information into multiple bite size pieces in order to digest them and comprehend them. Imagine eating a 20Ounce Steak in one bite; you’d choke.
Smaller bite size pieces, deconstructed and then assimilated over time as having processed the whole steak/the majority of the subject, makes it easier to digest.

We can take a pause, offload our minds and come back to our information once we’ve cleared our minds. Offloading can be helpful, in that we overly saturate our minds by pushing the rythmes and quantity/quality of that which we need to consume. Usually we are taught that we need to do more, force feed our minds, and push through until it becomes acceptable and easy to us. Though, like bodybuilding, we’re still stressing our body to achieve a result. We have allocated energy and interest to delve into knowledge.
Once spent, its time to do something else to replenish the energy.

Or, we can be satisfied with the knowledge we have of the subject or matter and come back to it later. Sometimes and most times, we don’t need as much as we think we do.
We simply need time and rest to come back to it later with a more satisfied perspective or appreciation.

Make your work vulnerable

Guilty. I haven’t been around since I last put my blog on hold…

I need to confess. It hasn’t been from laziness, mainly from doubt. 

I’ve been writing, even without publishing my articles. 

Sharing my work though, has been what I’ve been procrastinating about. It’s not that my work is even worthy or original or even in any form interesting.

I’ve put in on a pedestal in my head, which has been preventing me from sharing it. 

Now, instead of sharing and building a wider audience, keeping consistency and simply working at making my articles better as I write them. I’ve been hypothesising, withdrawing and then self doubting.

I haven’t been exposing my work to criticism. Which has prevented me from receiving any form of external reference. Having no external reference isn’t productive even though we’re the only one’s to ultimately decide if what we’re sharing makes sense, is the best quality we can produce and is shippable.  

Without actually looking at the quality of my work, I’ve been drafting it as soon as it gets to an acceptable state. Is it shippable though? The fear of not being able to express something without rejection or indifference. 

I have a perfectible nature, which leads me to want to make my work better and see most flaws yet never be utterly content with it. Which means, I ultimately postpone publishing because the nature of my work is either too similar to other peoples,

uninspiring, or lacking any quality of content. Obviously, if its only blabbering, there isn’t much point in saying it at all. That’s what drafts are for. 

-I think we can very easily focus on what is wrong a lot of the time. Especially when it comes to writing. Which leads to inaction or fear of conviction towards taking action. – 

I say this bearing in mind that even the best writers have a draft box/sketch-pad full of mistakes and screwups. 

Hence why I write articles which aren’t perfect. I do this on purpose, just to get over the point of publishing. Then I might come back to it later.
Research, write, edit, post, repeat.

If you aren’t satisfied with your work, that is fine. Continu working on it until you’ve reached the desired outcome.

Having trouble creating?

The trick to creating is simplicity. You have to fulfil Five main things when creating.

1) Take away all external pressure, obligations or external impositions, lead your life with a free flowing curiosity.

2) Kill all deadlines. Having to do something by such and such date, time, puts pressure on your work. Sometimes, the simple act of being inspired creates works of art beyond anything which is rushed or pressured. We’re not coal being transformed into diamonds.
We’re more like water influenced by the energy we impose upon ourselves. (Check out Dr Masaru Emoto’s Water Experiments )

3) Have a deep sense of trust that you’re safe and sound; an intense knowing that you’re protected. Being relaxed produces far better results than feeling threatened by something.

4) Trusting and be carried by life. Life has your back. You’re not against the world. If anything, you’re supported and the universe conspires to help you understand and act in your best interest. Sometimes doors don’t open for a reason, they’re not meant for you.
You know, because your soul isn’t a one size fits all. You’re a once in a world type of person, never again will anyone or anything be the same as you.
Nothing can alter your state, because you’re secure and safe, no one can judge you,
you are accepted in your state, you are flowing in creation.

5) Don’t compare. Only put in your mind/place your focus on what is going to nourish your mind. Watching a YouTube video will send you down a spiral, same for instagram or anywhere someone else is doing better than you. It will deplete your energy for nothing.

Carried by bliss, you’re at ease, the wind blows and caresses your skin, you’re comfortable, you’re in love with life.

You need not do anything, because everything you do is perfect In its own way.

You expand the perfection of skill you’ve been blessed with, life is easy like a summer afternoon on a yacht, bobbing to the sound of waves, relaxing music and love.

You’re blessed.

We flow more in acceptance than in will.

If writing has taught me anything, it is that we don’t have to expose everything.

By expose I mean we don’t have to express everything that is going through our minds.
We are entitled to internal privacy of thoughts, feelings, understandings.
Not everything that goes through our minds needs to be expressed externally.

We are entitled to privacy. Just as we are all alarmed by the concept of Google, Apple,
Alexa, and other software which collects our research data or location.

For a while, the dilemma of using social media, having to expose every single little detail
in the faintest of hopes that someone will see something special about who we are in the sharing of our pathetic dribbles of the mind and believe we are worthy of being rich and famous has kept me somewhat inert. Should I delete social media? Should I expose everything? Will I miss out on what is happening and be left behind?

Truth is, I’m not being left behind, because there isn’t anything to keep up with. 

This being said, I am in obligation to go at my own rhythm if I want to appreciate life.
Which is probably the most important aspect. A while back, I saw a quote by the Buddha, saying “It is better to travel well than to arrive”. This hits home doesn’t it?

Life is so much better when you are going at your own rhythm, not trying to keep up with the latest trends on social media, what every single social media user is trying to sell, influence, promote etc.

I really appreciate Not doing anything. A little like the concept of processed food, processed information is something to be wary of. Most people using social media aren’t as sane of mind as we could hope them to be. They may have beautiful lives, but they’re probably not in a state of peace though.

Don’t be guilty, you don’t have to DO in order to BE, life will take care of you if you trust it to do so. There is only so much fighting for something we can do before it becomes fighting against ourselves.

We’re here to witness and experience life, not to impose our ant like influence upon the world. Sometimes it’s better to let go and flow with the grace of life.

Open the sails of your mind, and let the wind of life carry you to where you need to go, or at least where it wants you to go.

ATTENTION: Social media causes Hyper-selectivity

Swipe. Swipe. Toggle. Swipe. Swipe…

Our standards have drastically been altered. Being confronted with a constant visual stimulus of change has hardwired us to pick, sift and sort what we think we most desire and/or (depending on our evolution) need in order to be happy. Or, in other words, what we think we need in order to fit into our respective groupe/tribe.

The emergence of social media and internet has given us insight, in fact tremendous insight, into our core fibres as singular individuals among the crowd in which we blend day in and day out in our everyday lives. Having a smart phone with access to everything happening everywhere all the time, has given us an almost god-like power over our decisions and choices regarding what we do with our time, money and effort.

Mostly anyone with an instagram account has had access to entrepreneurial information, insight into beauty tips, luxury tips, photography, bitcoin, world pollution; this leads us, to learn how to acknowledge our neighbours and understand a bit (a lot) about them.
Which also creates a lust for others lifes, which can be percieved as healthy peer pressure in order to up our standards. Though this can also create pressure that we cannot support due to not being in the right frame or mind or health.
This also leads to a downside that some of us are starting to encounter. Virtual realities and especially make-believe realities do not exist or are unachievable and the actuality of the lives lived on instagram aren’t always as glamorous as they seem.

The Downside:

-Our attention span has shortened and people who are avid users, tend to “log off” from their realities as soon as what is being said/seen doesn’t interest them. This also applies for discussions, dating, and many other topics.

-This breeds, a lack of tolerance for not being a master/thebest at the subject in question which inevitably forces the individual to either up their game, or be rejected for not being good enough. Which seems inhumain from the perception of anyone who is a little weak, or who hasn’t yet reached that level of success in their domaine.

-Big contrast between one’s reality and other peoples realities, which makes it hard to accept the realities some of us are experiencing.

-Lots of time wasting while we tune out to dream about what others are doing in some distant paradise, while we twiddle our thumbs in our dingy caves.

-Judgement. People are now judged on their profiles. Instead of actually knowing about the people at hand. We now get to see the people we are talking to, we see their photography skills, their surroundings, and we see what they stand for, or at least their capacity to Sell or write themselves up, or not.

Will we get back to meeting people like we used to? Do we really need our phones in order to live optimal lives? Do we need to keep up with everything? …