Romantic Mirrors and True Love: A quick clarification

When you meet The one, they will not leave, you cannot lose them. We hear this in fairy tailes and romantic stories all the time. 

But how can anyone affirm this? Where’s the proof? And why can’t I find “The one” right now?!

Well for starters, if everyone is a mirror of who we are, and we go through life like an onion shedding layers everytime we interact with someone, 

then we must acknowledge that Where we are right now is imperfect. We walk around with – in Jesus’s words- tree trunks preventing us from seeing clearly. 

These tree trunks are our illusions, and our illusions are partly caused by our childhood schemas, they’re partly caused by our unexamined schemas and patterns 

that we play out, the biased thoughts we hold and repress that affect our everyday interactions and actions. 

Then one day we meet someone. It’s been a while since we felt like this. We say to ourselves that we “Love them”. Then that person walks off

and sleeps with someone else, or simply doesn’t respond for a couple of days or whatever. We suddenly lose our footing, we’re destabilized, 

we feel lost and we feel we can’t breathe without them. We make a snapshot judgment that they are “The One”, because we’re co-dependent on

them… We then sit around moping, and crying and being dramatic and all that melodramatic “kid needs mom, kid needs attention…” behavior. 

Except, here’s where all of that falls flat on its face. None of that is “Love” so to speak. If everyone is a mirror to what and who we are when we meet and 

interact with them, then what is being mirrored back to us is a flawed version of ourselves that we cling on to, because it resembles what we THINK is 

what we are supposed to be. Out of fear we cling, we hold on, we strive to force circumstances and “make things happen”, so that we won’t lose them. 

Notice I just said, “…so that we won’t lose them.”. What is wrong with this sentence apart from my wonky grammar? We are in fear, we believe that some entity who 

loves us, and whom we love, will walk away. We believe that something we say or do will prevent them to abandon us. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. 

The reason I can say this so confidently is that when we’ve worked on ourselves and we have consciously strived to dissolve our illusions, when we’ve 

done a significant amount of work on ourselves; the being we discover cannot be taken away because it’s not an illusion it’s who we are deep down. 

Who we are deep down cannot be taken away from us, it is our soul, it is our most intangible and precious, but also the most consistent part of ourselves. 

So, when it comes time for someone to mirror “WHO YOU ARE” back to you in that romantic moment of meeting “The one”, first of all you’re confident

because you’ve become confident in dealing with life on your own and know that you can manage perfectly well on your own, but second you are just you in everything

that that entails which means that they can be interested, curious, increased or decide to walk away or even “reject” the notion or their understanding of 

YOU, but they CANNOT TAKE “WHO YOU ARE” away. So when you meet “The one”, they will simply mirror back to you, everything that you are back 

to you. This puts an emphasis on the amount of work you invest in and on yourself before meeting “the right person”. This also takes away any notion of 

FEAR you can have about losing the person we think is the one. Because we cannot lose The one if we are authentically and truly ourselves. 

When I say “truly ourselves”, we can’t possibly be truly ourselves until we’ve been through life’s challenges, until we’ve been through the nitty gritty, 

until we’ve reached rock bottom and had to climb back up to the top of our mountain – on our own-. Saying this, I mean that through life’s challenges, 

tests and trials, we chip away the excess onion skins that are NOT US and we reach a point of essentialism between us and ourselves. That point of 

essentialism forges and fortifies our knowledge of our authentic self, who we are minus all the BS that is imposed on us right, left, and center since 

childhood. And when we can be that Authentic Self full time, without even thinking about it, that is precisely when we meet “the one”. 

They step into our lives as a sort of celebration to indicate to us that “everything” we’ve been doing, all the work we’ve been doing on ourselves, 

on our wellbeing, on our health, on our mind, on our emotions, in our interactions, in our business… Everything is then mirrored back to us, 

and we’ve thus given “The all empowering wings” of Love. You know, when we become unstoppable, and who we are is magnified via the relationship. 

For example, this is precisely where the idea of “Behind all great men is a great woman…”. This is based on LOVE with a capital L, the type 

that empowers our true self, because we have done the hard deep painful work, because we’ve put in the effort to work on becoming THE MAN

we believe the type of woman we aspire to be with will want. 

So the next time you meet someone and suddenly find yourself forcing matters, fearing that YOU’re not good enough for them… And all the trivial

stuff we routinely go through. Remember this: 

YOUR BOAT WILL NOT LEAVE WITHOUT YOU! What is meant for you will find you.  Everything you have done, your work, your effort, your intention, 

the extra miles you’ve put in,… it all adds up. And guess what?! It will be mirrored back to you in the form of a heavenly partner, because you Deserve it. 

We deserve what we get, and those who make tough choices get easy lives, while those who make easy choices get tough lives. 

Will everything you’ve been doing, and are doing, add up to an outcome you want? If not, think again, our effort defines the kind of outcomes we get. 

Saturday Seven’s

A compilation of my findings, interests and actions from the past week that might be of interest to you. It allows me to forge an interesting routine and be accountable to you!

Hello you!

Here you will find my findings from this past week, things I’m thinking about, and discovering. If you enjoy it, please feel free to forward this along to friends (they might enjoy it too!).

What I’m currently reading:

Reading:

HTML & CSS” – Jon Duckett

Next reading on the list:

Javascript & JQuery” – Jon Duckett

Php & MYSQL” – Jon Duckett

What I’ve listened to (and liked):

Music:

  • Heavy metal Love” – twocolors
  • Words (feat. Zara Larsson)” – Alesso, Zara Larsson
  • Roulette” – Tabi

Quotes I’ve liked:

  • Don’t Sacrifice an empire for a pot of gold.” – Unknown
  • You have to become a monster, if you want to destroy Hitler.” – Winston Churchill (in The Crown).
  • If you do each bit a little better, you end up with a hell of a lot better.” – Jon Wright, on product creation.
  • All morons hate it when you call them a moron.” – JD Salinger
  • Where there’s muck there’s brass” – Unknown

This week’s curiosities, interests and thoughts:

  • In order to progress in certain directions, surrounding yourself with people who are vastly better than you are, and having no other choice but to focus on the direction you’re going in. These two components are the cornerstones of a successful progression.
  • A healthy lifestyle is one that favours ‘feeling well’. If you feel well, you eat well. If you eat well, your health improves. If your health improves, you eat even better. And with said virtuous circle, one’s health, skills, abilities, and expansion is favoured.
  • Having a Tennis partner helps you to step up your game and creates pressure that is essential to good progression. If there is no stake, there is no effort, and without effort, there is no progress. Having a friend who aspires to be better than you in anything you do is a great gift and will help you to progress beyond your normal scope of efforts. Where alone we wouldn’t focus on our inadequacies, suddenly, you are witnessed and your inefficacies are clearly made conscious to you.
  • Playing is the best way to create energy, health, and well-being. Exercising alone is work. Exercising in games and play is enjoyment.
  • Studying in a public place that privileges your learning with silence, safety and circumstances to support you is a cheat code to learning and retaining faster. Having a place outside of our home where we can focus for long periods of time without interruption is golden.

What I have done(this week):

  • I started studying in a Co-working/co-student infrastructure.
  • I started walking 30 minutes to the co-working space, and 30 minutes back after focussing 6-8 hour periods of deep-work.
  • I decided to apply intermittent fasting from Supper until supper the next day. Which is a larger window for ketogenesis to occur, and prevents the pancreas from an overproduction of insulin. I’ve experienced better focus, better digestion, elevated energy, and improved well-being throughout my days of studying.
  • I stopped drinking coffee and drink solely earl grey or some herbal concoction. This has allowed my body to remain in a slower and less elevated overall state which is essential for better recovery and overall well-being. I’m also less nervous and generally happier.

You can also give me your feedback on Twitter @check_goldberg. What did you like most about this week’s findings? What would you like more or less of in this newsletter? Any other suggestions? Please let me know. Just send a tweet to @check_goldberg and put #saturdaysevens at the end so I can find it.

Have a wonderful weekend!
Much love to you and yours,

Cherokee

PS: Here’s my list of books to purchase, perhaps they might interest you too!
Cherokee’s Book List

Saturday Seven’s

A compilation of my findings, interests and actions from the past week that might be of interest to you.
It allows me to forge an interesting routine and be accountable to you!

Hello you!

Here you will find my findings from this past week, things I’m thinking about, and discovering. If you enjoy it, please feel free to forward this along to friends (they might enjoy it too!).

What I’m currently reading:

Still reading:

The Pragmatic Programmer” – David Thomas & Andrew Hunt.
The great CEO within” – Matt Mochary, Alex Maccaw, Misha Talavera
Wealth – The ultra-high net worth guide to growing and protecting assets.” – Richard P. Rojeck

Added reading:

Javascript & Jquery” – J Duckett

What I’ve listened to (and liked):

Music:

  • Automn 3 – 2012” – Max Richter
  • Summer 3 – 2012” – Max Richter
  • In this together” – Rupert Gregson-Williams
  • Dreamworld” – Robin Thicke

Netflix:

  • Chef’s Table: Pizza

Quotes I’ve liked:

  • The conservation of one’s financial resources is merely the vestibule leading towards the more spacious chambers of true economy. It means, as well, the husbanding of one’s physical vitality and mental resources.” – James Allen
  • Spend your time doing only what you can uniquely do.” – Naval

This week’s curiosities, interests and thoughts:

  • This week the Queen passed away. After serving for 70 years, and providing a long and consistent reference to look up to, she passed away on Thursday. I’m shared as to what to think. Obviously, as I grew up in the UK, the queen had always been a reference in our lives, although a detached and distant reference.
  • I’m genuinely curious to know if we can learn how to code but also do other things on the side, such as write a book, build websites and anything else. This year is definitely a year for laying great foundations for the years to come.
  • I played Tennis with a friend yesterday. And the thought that came to mind is that, practicing a sport with a friend makes the sport to be playful rather than serious work we must practice with discipline. Practicing alone makes activities solemn and devoid of fun. Fun is the main ingredient for health. Without fun, we become boring and stiff. Thinking about integrating more friendships into my life.
  • I’ve been imagining creating some mort art.
  • If you have family, you’re extremely lucky. To have parents who have already screwed up, made mistakes, and figured things out, is like having cheat codes towards outcomes. They’ve climbed half of the mountain for you, and standing on their shoulders you have to then continue from where they leave you.

What I have done(this week):

  • I switched over from Python to Javascript.

You can also give me your feedback on Twitter @check_goldberg. What did you like most about this week’s findings? What would you like more or less of in this newsletter? Any other suggestions? Please let me know. Just send a tweet to @check_goldberg and put #saturdaysevens at the end so I can find it.

Have a wonderful weekend!
Much love to you and yours,

Cherokee

PS: Here’s my list of books to purchase, perhaps they might interest you too!
Cherokee’s Book List

Everything you’ve ever desired will one day lose it’s value…

Press before reading.

We desire things, circumstances, abilities, skills, more things, people, control over people, and so on. Even the monks in the mountains must work on this.

We hope and ponder and then desire some more. We cry because we can’t have what we want, only to realise the day we get it that what we had all along was the greatest gift that went unappreciated and is now lost for ever.

And then, somewhere along the line, we traverse our arduous journeys and arrive at the final peak we’d longed for all along, only to find that we no longer desire it.

In our moment of achievement, we pop a bottle of champagne, we blow a few balloons, we throw caution to the wind and scream the accumulated pain we’ve carried for too long. But what is now ours is ours and that’s that, it might even be taken for granted despite carrying the heaviest weight of all.

What else is there?‘ we ask, ‘How can things be better?’ and ‘Where the hell is the grass greener?’ . Like a hamster on its wheel, we then strive again. In vain we change, we become, we overcome, … and then we stop. The dust settles. We’ve once again changed our circumstances. They’re different, they may seem better, they may seem more refined, perhaps more beautiful or more pragmatic.

Our peers look up to us, at first they pat us on the head, they congratulate us for what they could never achieve, then look at us from a distance with subtle hints of disdain and jealousy. Then silence. Then it happens all again, except now no one’s patting us on the head, and we’re looking down from a high rise ledge. Our problems become more and more intangible. Where we once hoped for food, we now hope for a deafening silence. Where we once hoped for friends, we now hope for loyalty.

Life has become a battlefield, and most powerful among us evolve faster than the speed of light. We’re all in the battle pit, some of us have stones, some of us guns. Some of us have missiles and then there are the silent and powerful who look down on the pit. We all look up, hoping to one day take their place, hoping to have some form of control over our life.

We remind ourselves to breath. In and out, in and out, because that is what we really have control over. We close our eyes, and then wake up and the fog of war has lifted. A spring day rears its buds and petals, and a gentle breeze blows over us all. Except it doesn’t. It’s a game of smoke and mirrors, and we’re back to square one. We’ve been duped into the illusion that we have control or power, and somewhere along the path we met the competition: it was the entire world and we alone – just like everyone else- believed that we could take it on. And we did, we looked the world in the eye and with a steel resolve exclaimed ‘I CAN TOO!’

But could we? Perhaps, perhaps not. Life decided to put us back on our path. The universe ‘aligned us’ with our true purpose. We got knocked down, and stood on. Our lungs barely moving, our breath minute. In quite and patient time we awaited to cease a weakened thought. We shift and we stand. In our herculean effort we strive, and crack open a thought that no longer makes sense. The collar that had been placed around our neck snaps, the thought we had jailed ourselves with pops, and through the steam and smoke, a clear curtain draws back.

Life has once again changed, except this time the change was ours for the taking. With every fibre of our body and soul, with every once of our being we lifted our mind, and in turn changed our action. Causing a butterfly effect. A man moves his finger in the right direction and causes tidal waves on the other side of the world. We stand.

A fight we never thought we could fight, is now under our collective foot, and we have become the masters of our fate. But have we? Perhaps not. Seeking for betterment, we hope once again. Nothing is good enough, and then it is. In that high and mighty moment of grace, we stand upon the pillars of our mindly foundations, and find to our grandiose perceptions, that what we had hoped for was already ours, that the fight we led was in our hearts, and the love we so needed was already written in stone.

The gift of poverty

We can often read about how wealth can drives families apart. Fights between siblings over who will own x and y. Spouses becoming venomous over who owns what and who makes x. How grown men commit suicide after losing their accumulated wealth, or how wives will leave their men after a money move didn’t work out as expected. Though, we never really hear about how poverty is a benefit in our lives, or how lacking money allows us to have more time to discover what we are.

Success is not about what we possess, but about accountability to others. Success is about access, and access is about people. It’s about how we can help others and embracing the opportunity to lift them up. And finding a balance means that we need alone time so we can reconfirm our potential for ourselves, so that others can confront where we fall short. Being around others then is about becoming better. Being alone is about revalidating our vision. The mix of the both allow us to strive for our vision ad get better. Just being alone is poverty. Being with others is wealth. Though, poverty has defined some things for me…

Poverty gave me contrast

“He who goes alone goes fast, while he who goes together goes far.”

I decided as a rule of thumb, that if I went through enough difficulty and pain I would eventually learn to see the silver lining. It so happens that, growing through poverty turned out to be helpful to create a mindset of appreciation. Had I been rich, I would have ‘purchased’ my way towards something looking like happiness and I would have had the lifestyle to go with the money, I would most likely have peers who have the same kind of life style and therefore I’d still be in some form of competition towards looking and being a certain way. Poverty, in my sense, cut me off from opportunities. By being isolated, it allowed me to go through my internal conflict much faster and without any external judgement. While going far is important to me, I needed to go fast through all of my internal conflict – in addition to it being something intangible that no one else can really access because it’s in my own head- and being poor allowed me to go through the various iterations of what works and what doesn’t work.

Poverty gave me a new start

Being poor gave me a lot of time (How can I be rich?) to work on myself, to contemplate, to observe… Being poor allowed me to heal. Had I had money, I would have never rested. And, knowing my nature, I tend to want to push and push and I would have worked myself into burnout doing things. Poverty took all my options away and forced me to see what was good in my life, develop gratitude, and appreciate what I did have. Had I just continued with my pursuit for more money, I would most have probably continued seeking for more accumulation rather than more understanding. Being forced to stay in one place allowed me to reevaluate my mindset. I got to read a tone of personal development books, test out ideas, test out business’s…

Poverty made me focus on what is essential

When all your options are stripped away, you’re forced to focus on what is in front of you or imagine what could be possible. Time is your friend, and you have to get creative. When you’re alone, undefined by anyone, you can redefine your internal software, you can define the parameters of your life. So if life isn’t working for you, a period of poverty or isolation can actually do you some good, in that you get to reevaluate the way you go about life, what you’re striving for, and how you’re going to interact with others. When you’re cut off from a social setting or a group, you become distinctly aware of your own bullshit. So, as you have no other option than to be here in the now with your own mindset, it only stands to reason that the pain of poverty pushes us to better ourselves towards being successful.

Poverty helped me to learn decision making

While I dislike looking at prices for most anything I buy, because I don’t like money being a deciding factor for my life decisions or wants. Rather I prefer to make decisions then pay the price because that is what I actually want. Poverty taught me to keep a budget which I find to be helpful as having fewer options forces you to make decisions. I’m not preaching that poverty is great long term, but if you’re poor long enough you learn to find the value.

Poverty helped me to become a better manager of time and ressources

If you only have so much, you essentially have to become a good manager to get by.
Though you also have to make long-term commitments which is a good thing for anyone wanting to work on long projects. If all you can afford is rent, bills, and food then you essentially have long stretches of time to do anything. Some people resort to drugs, or sit around being bored, they blame the state or society and eventually end up in a vicious circle. But poverty doesn’t have to be a bad thing, it can be a cocoon for personal evolution. Provided that we do the work and have the ability to see the tools we have at our disposition.

Poverty helped me to address the deeper issues I wasn’t looking at.
Where, if I had money I would have turned out to be an arrogant loud-mouthed idiot. Being forced to remain in my childhood room for health and money reasons, one tends to give up on the luxury of relationships and social niceties and we tend to retreat into a bubble of our own isolation. This can be a good and bad thing depending on our mindset. Where being social helps us up – when we’re ready – being social can also get in the way of deep work.
Being isolated helps our inner conflicts to come up to the surface. Similar to a prison sentence, we’re locked in our conditions with our flawed mindsets or our broken thinking patterns and repressed emotions from childhood and we have no choice but to confront them. Hence why many prison inmates ‘go crazy’ if left in solitary for too long, they’re locked in with their own demons!


Being poor allowed me to be humble and work on myself

I used to be oblivious to other people, in fact, I didn’t care much for others. I just wanted their attention (because I wasn’t able to give attention to myself). Which essentially translated as acting out loud roles every time I was in a group. I wasn’t well adapted. I was living within a shell of thoughts I believed was me. I had become good at people pleasing and knew how to approach women. I was good at talking my way into paper bags and then out. But I had no sense of humility or empathy. So, being forced to accept living with my family I had to address all of the weird contrived ways I’d developped to ‘survive’ in society.
A helpful deconstruction.

Poverty brought our family together

Luckily, I was born poor. We didn’t have money growing up. And even into my first years of working a job, lack of money was ‘always an issue’. Lacking sufficient income and energy led me to go back home and essentially rework my relationship with my mother. And then something peculiar happened. My sister, whom had no means of money was forced to come home. As a small family unit, we were forced to live side by side in my mothers ol’ rickety house.

Living and having to coexist with one another forced us to confront our relationship problems and dynamics. Being up close with those who push your buttons and know how to trigger you is one of the most infuriating experiences in the world, it’s also a great lesson in self-mastery and empathy. Learning to overcome control issues, anger issues, self-reflect on where we go wrong, and evaluate a better course of action to take, figuring out how to support one another and have empathy. All of these things ultimately make us better human beings, but none of us necessarily wanted to go through them because they were painful. So, when money wasn’t flowing our way, we somehow found our way back to each other and forced to re-evaluate our ways of being.

Learning to trust LOVE without bringing money into the equation.

Money can be a deciding factor for many women. The promise of being taken care of, of an easy jump from harsh beginnings to lush luxury environments. It can also be a reason for distrust in those around you. Having no money will rid you of false expectancies involving whether people like you or not. Being poor forces you to work on your character and become amiable and patient. It also teaches you to appreciate peoples inner qualities more than peoples exteriors. With plastic surgery, a few hours at the gym and a few youtube tutorials, it’s fairly easy for women to look like supermodels today, which is an insane amount of power to have especially for looks or lust. So when money is taken out of the equation, it really demands us to step up our game and look at our traits and skills, insecurities and beliefs, because our money can’t do the talking for us. Which is essentially a good thing as we learn to undo our false beliefs about being liked and we attract good people who are meant for us in spite of our financial condition.

Although, a lot of the time poverty does translate as a lack of purpose, lack of clarity, lack of vision, or lack of devotion towards an outcome and can very easily be interpreted as laziness. And even if our potential isn’t necessarily defined in poverty, a lot of people who are poor seem to not have a clue about their direction in life or simply don’t give a toss about striving for anything because their belief system prevents them from feeling they can have money in their lives.

So, when money isn’t in the picture and someone likes you, a lot of the time it’s because they like you. Or don’t believe they can do better (in a world that seems to be dominated by money) because they have self-esteem issues or they may be lazy. Or simply they see something in you and decide to take the risk of believing in you and that’s when we grow wings of possibility and great relationships happen.

Conclusion of my thought process?

I’m not preaching to be poor for a lifetime, but I believe it’s important to revisit what it means to be poor from a healthy mindset and not from a place of fear of lack. Most rich people fear being poor again, and it seems that to them poverty is equal to distrust in the process of life. I think everyone should experience poverty at least once in their lives to bring them down and ground them a bit. Everyone talks about Dream achievement and Success, but no one masters the living part which is an essential part of being poor. When all you can do is live in the moment, you focus on what matters. Sure, you’re not going to become the next best VC in the world, but I’m pretty sure that the world is full of people who have more money than they know what to do with.

Having money is good though. Let’s not delude ourselves with self-righteousness. I won’t delude anyone by trying to sell the concept of poverty as a lifestyle. But I will preach that going through poverty “as a phase” is beneficial if we develop the right mindset – to learn and make the most of the time we have – to deal with our circumstances. Money can buy so many experiences, but let’s not delude ourselves into thinking it will solve our inner problems. And our inner problems are what cause all other problems. Today I was listening to a well known millionaire talk about how since he has money “his life is full of drama“, if I add this statement to another episode where he states that he has “a lot of insecurity“, I can personally conclude that money + insecurities = subtle drama and noise.

Money is a great tool to help us achieve what we want to achieve, its also a great magnifying tool for who we are. It accentuates what we already are. In my view-point, as I decided to go through pain and difficulty and get the skeletons out of the way first, before striving to become rich, I believe that its important to do the hard gritty work that isn’t glamorous first. By doing so, I believe we become rich on solid and healthy foundations. Obviously I still have a lot of work to do on myself, but I’m fairly certain that I’ve delt with my difficult nitty gritty stuff that will cause problems later. Now it’s only about iteration towards betterment. Having tasted the downside of duality, all the things I didn’t want, I’m fairly certain that I’m quite clear about what I want and how to get there and in addition I feel secure enough (without a million dollar portfolio or anything to my name) to strive for the things I want. Going through poverty from the view point of a mature adult, is similar to walking through an old neighbourhood after having become a blackbelt in some martial art. The dark places we once feared no longer hold much over us, because we can’t go much lower than where we are (of course, we can strive to go lower but it would be quite hard to come back from afterwards). With a conscious vision, some good old fashion hard work to update and learn new skills, and a positive mindset most anything is possible, and whats more? We no longer fear the clutches of poverty…

Saturday Seven’s (Newsletter) 27/08/2022

A compilation of my findings, interests and actions from the past week that might be of interest to you. It allows me to forge an interesting routine and be accountable to you! – You can also subscribe to the newsletter on THIS SUBSTACK LINK. Or the link will be available via my newsletter archive page.

Hello you!

Here you will find my findings from this past week, things I’m thinking about, and discovering. If you enjoy it, please feel free to forward this along to friends (they might enjoy it too!).

What I’m currently reading:

The Pragmatic Programmer” – David Thomas & Andrew Hunt.

The Overstory” – Richard Powers

Be your own sunshine” – James Allen

Current list of books I want to read:

The great CEO within” – Matt Mochary, Alex Maccaw, Misha Talavera

Code” – Charles Petzold

The hard thing about hard things” – Ben Horowitz

Conscious capitalism” – John Mackey

What I’m listening to:

Sol” – Peter Sandberg
The Flower duet” – Léo Delibes

What I’m excited about:

In September I decided to go back to school to study computer programming. As the end of August comes to an end, my inner kid is happy about going back to school to meet new people, to study new subjects, to get out of the house after 5 years of social isolation. I’m excited to study in a place outside the home, to forge a routine intertwined with people irl.

Power tools, woodwork, manual work projects, furniture, and e-commerce:

I’d like to build some furniture, luxury furniture. I enjoy woodwork and manual work, it’s relaxing and even grounding. I also enjoy creating, sewing and visually aesthetic “things”. Although, I have to wait until October (for financial and time reasons), so I will stick to planning for the time being.

Quotes I’ve liked:

The greatest of all weaknesses is the fear of appearing weak.” – J.B. Bossuet

Don’t say it can’t be done; explain what can be done to salvage the situation.

This week’s curiosities, interests and thoughts:

  • What it means to grow up.
  • The Alex Hormozi podcast (Spotify) The Game on ecommerce, business…
  • The role of semen retention on hair growth, organ regeneration, and overall well-being.
  • Fruit of the loom basic tee-shirts.
  • Vulgarity is exposing everything, while elegance is dissimilating what vulgarity exposes in a refined and essential way. Where vulgarity comes from the 14th century Latin Vulgaris “the common people, multitude, crowd, throng”, Elegance comes from the 15th century Latin Elegantem, meaning “characterized by refined grace”, to “select with care, to choose”. So, vulgarity – in my mind- comes from those who are generally dominated by their passions, who are under the control of their inner devils. And Elegance, which is controlled, is the expression of a refined, driven, and pure (or sane mind). Someone who isn’t controlled by their passions, but has control over them.

What I have done:

  • Realised the importance of doing nothing. “Bored is better than busy.”
  • (Am still) planning my extracurricular focus for my learning this year.
  • Had ideas about starting an e-com business on website + Amazon.
  • Surgeon check-up for a surgery I had on 5th August.
  • Made Apt for Tuesday for physical rehab. Maybe those scar lumps will go away and I’ll regain full arm mobility.
  • Played some CS-GO to change my mind. I really shouldn’t be playing, but it allows for an escape, which is good for resting and ‘Not’ focussing on work for once.
  • I went for a light cycle, despite my surgeon telling me to not exercise for 2 months. I need to exert some toxins somehow. Sitting around just doing mind work can be surprisingly tedious without physical variety and diversification of environment.

I will be writing one of these newsletters every Saturday from now on and invite you into my weekly ponderings. You can also give me your feedback on Twitter @check_goldberg. What did you like most about this weeks findings? What would you like more or less of in this newsletter? Any other suggestions? Please let me know. Just send a tweet to @check_goldberg and put #saturdaysevens at the end so I can find it.

Have a wonderful weekend!
Much love to you and yours,

Cherokee

PS: Here’s my list of books to purchase, perhaps they might interest you too!
Cherokee’s Book List


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Discomfort in solitude or Doorway to infinite potential?

Are you alone? Good, I want you to listen to me. I have something to say…

How does one overcome the feeling of aloneness? Is it the acceptation of here and now? Is it ceasing to reject the emotion? Contemplating that we are alone, friendless, cut off and isolated. Comparing that where one once had friends, the friends have moved on and now its just us. Face to face with ourself, the feelings, the fears, the shortcomings, our faulty projections… it all tends to come out and it sits there next to us quietly.

Solitude tends to confront us with our limitations and inadequacies. It shows us our flaws. Hence why we must watch our thoughts when we’re alone, because that’s when we’re the most vulnerable. Though, that’s also where we can find real power… You see, it’s when we embrace the discomfort of being alone that our creativity comes up to the surface. I like to call it confidence, because it’s where I feel most confident.

It’s that space where I’m totally undefined by the world, where my creative potential is fully ignited. It’s the space where vision and all future possibilities become possible. Nowhere else on earth is it possible to access that space but while I’m alone after stepping through the threshold of discomfort into a universe of full potential. It’s where I can Flow, it’s where I can project, it’s where I can mould my future.

Most people get uncomfortable and reach out to a friend, go for a walk, find someone to fill the gap, but those people miss out on the invisible door of potential that lies somewhere tucked between Mr Discomforts house and Solitude alley. Similar to King’s Cross – Platform 9 3/4 in Harry potter. It’s a little place camouflaged by fear and doubt. Funnily enough, J.K. Rowling most probably embraces this same gateway, just as other writers and creatives.


It’s within this space that all creation can take place, its where energy is transformed into magic. It’s where flow comes out to play and the world around ceases to exist. It’s you and you and there’s nothing to be afraid of. Like Inception, ideas are created and in the background, worlds are formed.

Like “The Butterfly Effect”, the creation and harmonization of our thoughts right here create changes on the other side of the world. Just by thinking, we are shifting the world around us and forming our relationships with others.

In this space of full potential unlimited possibilities present themselves and like playdoe we shape them into the circumstances. Our vision serves as an inner blueprint for the external world, it’s the reel from which the movie is played. By changing the sequence and the meaning of images we change the story we project. It’s in those moments of projection that we convince and confirm our beliefs, thus setting in motion actions. We are Gods in human form, and we don’t even have to close our eyes. So long that we’re aware of how we feel and we’re able to let go of the tough nitty gritty feelings we tend to latch onto, we can shape our life through the realm of full potential.

I know… I’m starting to sound like Deepak Chopra. Yes, perhaps. Although, I believe that he’s found what I’ve found, and that we’re talking about the same thing. The channelling of divine energy towards the materialisation in reality via the medium of vision supported by conscious thought.

The vast array of possibilities only opens up once we can accept our present NOW and fully embrace it. All becomes available to us when we stop fighting against the imaginary pain that could be and start envisioning the extent of all that could go right.

The funny thing about this quote is that it’s not the actual falling or actual flying that we need to worry about, it’s the envisioning and allocation of mental resources to falling or flying. We must mind the gap between our desires, fears and become conscious of what we repeat. Imagine you stop thinking about something and never think about it again, and suddenly, that repetitious even comforting comfort-zone of a thought is gone; you just shifted your thoughts towards something new. In the words of the old American Indian sages, “Which wolf are you feeding?”

Often we complain about our lives and point a finger at how “something” keeps on happening to us, and then we go back to thinking the same thoughts and wonder why these events happen. It’s a direct consequence type of effect.

Instead of complaining about what is happening in our reality, we should become conscious about where we are spending our thought-time. What are we spending time thinking about and why are we focussed on the worst case scenario when we should be feeding the best case scenario? Why are we sitting here complaining about things not happening when we could be taking action towards all the possibilities that could be available if we only lifted a hand and reached out to take it.

On a less action-type note, questioning our assumptions, convictions, and beliefs and understanding that nothing is written in stone, especially if its “written” in the mind. Taking the time to ponder the validity of a thought, even though we initially reject it, is a great doorway to changing or undoing that very thought, however crystalized it is.

The key is sitting alone with the feeling, accepting it for what it is; essentially embracing it. It’s in that intimate space between you and you that the doorways of creation between your belly and your crown chakra open. Once you’ve decided that fear is no longer an issue, once you’re ready to give up any power it has over you, once limbo no longer has anything on you, once you’re okay with the idea of dying to your own fear. Suddenly, fear lets go and you’re freed to access your full power.

Are you afraid of your infinite potential?


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Great news!

Hello friends!

I just published a new cover for my hardcover book,
I hope you like:

If you have any recommendations, I’d love to hear from you.


All the best,
Cherokee Goldberg


If you liked this article, feel free to support my writing with buymeacoffee 🙂

If I only had…

… is insecurity.

We think the outcome will make us more as if it holds something out of reach. If only we had it -this thing or circumstance- life would be better.

A few years ago, I met up with friends from a long time ago. Friends from an era when I played video games. Of course, everything I’ve been through somehow changes my perception of the same place we grew up in and the experiences we’ve all been through.
Though, somehow, the perceptions I developped give me no choice than to associate my current circumstances very differently than I used to, differently than they still perceive their circumstances. I’m not better, they’re not worse, just different. Less compatible than we used to be. Anyhow…

The people around me made me feel inferior, or I felt inferior by spending time around them for some reason and felt I needed to somehow catch up and make up for lost time. As I hadn’t been playing video games for the last 10 years, and they had. My skill wasn’t what it used to be. Somehow in the mix, I felt I needed to purchase the most powerful computer. Thinking that somehow that I’d reach a degree of recognition for a tool that would set me apart.

Upon receiving this shiny new computer, my skills suddenly surfaced, my level got better, and I could compete. Only as my mindset had changed since back in the day, I no longer had the desire to compete, and the act of gaming didn’t turn out to be as appealing as it used to.
As the games had lost their appeal, because I’m no longer seeking to escape reality, each game became a little weight in my conscience. A little act I should no longer be doing

After a while, I just found the whole process to be tiring and unproductive. The tool I made excuses for, It’ll make me more productive, I’ll be able to produce better quality renders on 3D,… and so on, also lost it’s allure. Suddenly I started to perceive the things I owned as owning me. Preventing me from moving on. Stifling my creative progress.

Of course, it’s a nice tool to have, but pointless. What I really need, is to upgrade my skillset, not my tools. And so, I decided to sell this shiny new pc and go back to solely using my macbook.

While I’m packing this piece of advanced technology up, I can’t help but recognise that the strength I wanted to develop wasn’t going to upgrade by getting a better processor or more ram, but simply by working out. The limitations I felt, regardless of my hardware, could only be overcome by surpassing them, not by changing the tools I have to confront them.

Though, on a small scale example, the Lamborghini, the yacht, the helicopter, the billion euro account, the hottest girl in school or on social media all loose their allure a little. The allure goes away and all that is left is who I get to become while attaining those things.

Who do I get to become while making myself strong in the gym?
Who do I get to become while becoming a billionaire?
Who do I get to become to date that girl?

The answer is that it’s not the finality that is important, it’s not the outcome that we’re seeking for. It is the effort that we’re attracted by. Not merely the effort to obtain, but how we get to grow and surpass ourselves to obtain. The process.

We all want to transmute our current circumstances, our current situation, but most of us never stop to realise that we don’t need better tools, what we want is better skills, a better output, a better mindset, a better potential. And the only way to achieve that, is to invest more in ourselves than our circumstances.

Which brings me to the Ferrari. We never stop at a red light and think: “How cool is that guy driving the car?”, we think “How cool would I be, if I had that car!?” Status and recognition. We’re ultimately seeking for recognition and materialisation and confirmation for the inner potential we know so well and live with on a daily basis. What we want is for others to see that potential because we hate being seen as lesser than we are. But let me tell you one truth, the people around you who can’t see your potential or skill, won’t see it because their potential, their mindset, their limitations, won’t allow them to perceive everything that you are. This is why you have to be around people who CAN see your potential, because they know their potential, and their mindset and limitations don’t prevent them from seeing everything that you are. This is why successful people flock together, they mirror each other to greatness.

Successful people don’t spend time with unsuccessful people, because unsuccessful people mirror back inefficiency and lack back to them and as they’re human beings too, they have their own flaws and insecurities. In fact, I believe that some of the richest people in the world live in fear of losing their fortune. I suppose its the people around them who support their successes and protect their emotions who enable them to continue aiming higher.

Anyhow, you don’t need that thing you think you need. You need to develop your confidence.

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