Broken

You don’t want success. What you want is recognition.

But I’m not certain you’ll like what you find when you get it.

I’m not sure you’ll like the price you’ll have to pay.

I’m not sure you’ll want what you want.

What you really want, is what you already have.

Except you can’t accept it, or see its value, because you think the value is elsewhere.

Just as you think the value is in some future state or looking another way.

The value is in your eye, the value is in what you think you will obtain. But when you get there, you’ll want to close your eyes. You’ll have made the mistake of trading it all against something.

The truth is, it was all perfect, you just couldn’t see it from where you were standing.

You don’t want success. You want self love.

You don’t want money, you want energy, creativity, and inner freedom.

You don’t want someone to whisk you away, you want to love where you are.

You’ll never find what you’re looking for in matter.

You’ll never truly be content, if the blueprint of your heart doesn’t match in reality.

And if you so chose to accept the leap, you’ll forget in that moment all you’re leaving behind. And when you come back, all that you loved will be gone, and you will be alone, with your mistakes.

I’m normally one to give the beautiful optimism and silver linings, but sometimes, you fuck up, and there’s nothing you can do about it. For some reason, you could not foresee. But it alters your life forever.

Your paradise, the place you felt good, is now elsewhere. The place you felt at ease, it all looks exactly the same, but no where can you find Home. Home is gone, and its just you and yourself, interacting with those you love – from a distance.

Then, I calm my mind, and listen to my heart. Electrified. Not the harmonious and peaceful place I’ve always called home.

Breathe… Accept the emotion… Breathe…