Is it not better to not make a new year observation? It’s a new decade!
Looking back over the years, we make new years resolutions every year, only to not keep them, or to find ourselves with gym memberships, hyper expensive gym equipment clogging up the front room or a years supply of weight watchers tasteless processed foods coming to your door week after week…
The point is, we don’t need to wait until a specific date to start doing something we know is good for us. Or anything for that matter. Waiting to start something.
And why do we have to wait until a New year to start something New, with our old habits still in place?
Isn’t it better to take our time, achieve the goals we already have and only when we have achieved the one’s we have can we set new ones?
Isn’t it better to take time to contemplate what we have achieved in the past year, and build on that instead of Starting anew? What was wrong with last years resolutions? – Aren’t you going to make pretty much the same this year?
Maybe not. Though, for many of us, the repetition of setting a goal, only to not go through with it until completion is probably worse than the having the ambitious goal in the first place.
Maybe we need to go about mastering the mindsets we already have, and build with our natural inclinations. Observe our essential state, what we respond best to, how long we take to recover from X and Y exercise, how long it takes for us to see a difference with such diet, or how we feel about what we want before setting out to get it.
So far, we’ve seen that it is not the possession of the objects that make us happy,
but in the striving for them. It’s the struggle to achieve such and such which grant us with the blessed results. It’s not the results. Once we have the results, we want more/better/different.
Maybe, we ought to search for ways of consistent change. Workouts that we live throughout our day to day lives. Like walking up flights of steps instead of elevators.
Using a bike to get a pint of milk instead of taking a car. Setting time aside for ourselves to reflect, reassess, resource ourselves, before the day or the next day comes.
Making lists of our negative traits, honestly, and asking for those around us to point out our negative traits in order to work on them more in depth.
Though, not forgetting to make Positive lists of what we are capable of, what we have achieved, and what we are to remind ourselves in our down times.
The idea of having a C.V. isn’t just great for work, its a reminder of what we have achieved academically, or what experience we have. Having the likes of a Modeling book, but for our accomplishments is a great way to keep us aligned with what we can do, while also giving us confidence and clarity that we can achieve it again during our times of self doubt. Worst case scenario, you can create an instagram page -anyone can do this- and take a photo of your achievement each time, and post it. You don’t need to have a fancy following, nor do you need to follow anyone. This is for yourself. In fact, I’d advise to create a private page, where you can simply have an online reminder account of what you have achieved.
Another idea would be to have a timeline. Create a timeline from your birth, or from your conscious years and along side that have a bucket list. With your timeline, observe the big events which you are proud of, what you have achieved, your failures and moments of changing paths etc.. and with your bucket list, you can then strive towards ticking off each entry on the list and consciously placing each element on your timeline.
You can use “Trello” for this which is an easy organising system.
Did you know that Aboriginal tribes people don’t celebrate birthdays, nor do they celebrate the passing of time? They will celebrate a success, an evolution, passing a difficult point in one’s life… in other words, they celebrate what matters.
What do we do? We add another itemised list of things to-do that we think we might need to accomplish in order to be happy. Then we sync our iCal and our Google notifications and spam ourselves with reminders to do more.
Maybe the secret remains in doing less. Coming back to our new years event, maybe we should take time out to contemplate what it is that isn’t working well for us, cut out what is holding us back, redefine what it is that we want, but most importantly take time to admire what we have accomplished this year.
Maybe it’s not all about achieving, but simply living. Do we need to achieve to feel content? In fact, that is what needs to be defined. What makes us feel fulfilled, isn’t necessarily about achievement, but meeting our needs and the needs of those around us with our basket of personal talents.
At this point in life, I want to be less hard on myself. This is about where I am in life. Not about what I want this year. In fact, life is more milestones and checkpoints, with inner confirmations and what feels right to us than it is about to-do lists, achievements, sixpacks and squats…
In fact, at this point I want functionality and efficiency. I’m not searching to be the best, nor am I searching to be better than anyone. Right now, my north star is having optimal health, being physically capable, having good relationships with others, listening to my body, my intuition, and how I feel. Having goals that show on the outside start from the inside. Since last October (2018), I’ve been planting some healthy seeds in my mind, reading interesting uplifting books, taking steps to get back to health, become aware of what I am doing that is affecting me, etc. and I’m taking my time about it.
I’m pretty much undisturbed by others at this point. I’ve cut myself off social media, hardly spend time on facebook (only for practical reasons like selling something, or a contact I don’t have on my phone…), I’ve deleted my instagram account, and I’ve started feeling better. No, actually I’ll correct that; I’ve started feeling great ! I’ve started going out again, I’ve started meeting people, going for bike-rides, setting goals outside…
By all means, clean out, make space for new things to come. Of course.
But, what I am saying is, accept what you have, be happy with it, and use it to get more of what you already have. Rejecting what you have/where you are won’t help you. It’s like shooting yourself in the foot because you don’t like your foot. Then you’ll be limping, might have to amputate your foot, and you’ll have a carbon foot instead which probably isn’t what you want. (Sorry if there are any amputees reading this, I mean no harm!)
Take a look at what you have done, instead of looking at what you want to do.
Take a look at where you are, compared to where you want to be.
Be grateful for what you have, instead of always wanting more.
- Observe more.
- Note down what you have accomplished so far, on your way to your North star (its an adventure!)
- Define what has been working for you.
- Define what isn’t working so far.
- Redefine why we want certain things, instead of simply wanting them to please others.
- Struggle well – Read Ray Dalio’s “Principles”
- Efficient incorporated workouts in our day to day lives
- Make a Bucket-list Timeline
- Celebrate what matters over unconscious traditions
- Have a North star to go towards, but don’t time it, go with the flow of life.
- Do what is essential, healthy. Don’t force against the river, you’re not a salmon!
- Have a break from social media – you deserve it after all these years of saturation!
It’s time for a change from everything we have been doing.
Time for a different approach. Maybe it is the new year after all… 🙂