Are you an Oak or a Flower?

044A9386-8EBE-48FA-BDC6-944DB484B76B-You’ll often see people living on some beach in Bali with a plastic surgery changed body.
Only what you don’t see, and what they don’t see, is the bigger picture.

-How the fuck can I see a bigger picture than that?! That’s the dream! One might exclaim.

Hold your horses, you’re not seeing clearly. You’re looking at these people from a place of lack and envy. They don’t actually have anything better than you do. They’re just putting themselves on pedestals. You are good enough.

Now, let’s have a look at an example. You’ve probably been to a pond, or a river at some point in your life, or you’ve been to the beach. We all know the icky sticky sand getting stuck in places we’d rather not… Only difference is that that beach you went to and that beach you’re seeing, is how well the pictures are taken and how much money people have invested into their bodies, how they look and what they wear. In fact, these amazing pictures you’re seeing, or videos.. are simply selling dreams.

These dreams aren’t any better than what you have right now. The difference is that where you are right now, you might just not appreciate it because you are focused on what you “Don’t have” instead of what you do have. This may be a tough one to grasp at first, because it’s difficult to value what we have, why we have it, etc in the face of comparing to other peoples lives. They’re no happier than you are. It’s simply appearance!

I like how people think that you succeed after planting one seed though. All the 20 year olds are peaking on social media. Yet it’s destroying your lives, because you’re focussing all your attention on them instead of yourself. Yet, wait a few years and you’ll watch them go through their most painful moments in life without the dignity of a private life. Think about it. Better still, they’ll just vanish from the public spotlight because they haven’t done the work.

Nothing that comes with fame is important enough for you to stop developing yourself. Yet everyone gives up inner development for appearance development. Imagine being exposed constantly. If you haven’t done the work, there is only so long you can stay exposed before becoming weak. At some point, the strength will become rigidity, and will then weaken. Screenshot 2020-03-02 at 21.25.30.png

How confident can you be with things that society doesn’t deem to be of value? 

As an introvert, I enjoy spending time alone. Though, more so since I cut off my social media and have no reference point what so ever to the rest of the world. I wrote about this in a previous article. Not only have I come to like not being on social media, I’ve come to thrive. In fact, I haven’t seen anyone in months except a few family members, and I’m totally fine with this, because the work I get to do on myself is that much more valuable in the long run. Only when you are alone and isolated can all the stuff which needs to come out, come up.

Since social media, and probably a few years before, you’ve probably learn’t this:
“Lets go, it’s no good for us here!” Though, people have no idea how to sit with their pain and understand it. People run away from anything ugly or painful, even if it ultimately transforms them into better versions of themselves… There is a process!

They spend their entire attention on that one seed. Then it blooms into a flower.
Have you seen social media influencers today? Anyone I knew before social media who looked like that, in fact no, no one looked like that. Or they were in music videos and they actually had ressources to pull off their looks. Today everyone is dressed in “Look at me!” colours, and talk “Look at me!” speeches. When, in fact they can’t sit still with themselves long enough to be forgotten. I say this because it’s important to know, if you can ask people to focus on you, then what is it that you are offering them? Is it really what you want to live to be known by your entire life?

But, people are too short term focussed and they don’t see the whole picture.
“I want fame and fortune, I want to be known and loved!” These people are willing to do anything for this, yet not have what they want when they get there, because they’re running after something. Though, when they get there they still have to sit with themselves, and this is an impossibility. So they continu going on and on until it’s no longer possible and they burn out.

Where some people’s seeds have sprouted into brittle pretty insta-influencers, others have been forced to go through pain trials which have forged them against fear.
We’re not talking flower seeds here, we’re talking big oak tree acorns!
Hard exterior, can fall from high altitudes, is tough… As opposed to seeds, which get stuck in pets fur, blown around in the wind, grow into flimsy stalked flowers with no defence against harsh climates. I’d rather be the Oak any day.

Being the Oak is a difficult road though. You’ll have to go through periods of extreme pain, extreme pressure, isolation, trust in yourself, harsh storms, where your roots will grow deep in harsh environment. Yet, once it has grown into the majestic Oak nothing can move it, because it’s grown strong.

Sure flowers are pretty right now..;, this day in spring (2019-2020).
Maybe, let’s take a look at them in 10 years, when their autumn and winter come along. We all have our time to shine. This is why it’s important to continu working while the moon is out, so that when morning comes you can come out and show your brilliance.

With all this social media going on, it’s instilled in us a sense of needing everything now.
Though, life isn’t all now. It’s important to be here now, but it’s also very important to see that wanting everything now doesn’t work well. Like pouring too much water on a seed. You’ll spoil the individual. This is exactly what is happening right now. Everyone is getting greedy and they’re also spoiling. Not all is what it looks like.

Equally, NOW isn’t for ever. If you’re going through a tough patch it can seem like it’s eternal and never goes away.  It will pass though. I say this because I come out of about 8 years of pain, just dealing with inner stuff which drove me away from society and kept me isolated from most social contact any anyone who I knew before.

Do you see that the game doesn’t end after your reach that point you were aiming for in your 20’s? That you will reach what you were aiming for, only to reach it? It’s really not about outer success. It’s about how well you evolve inside yourself. If you can sit long enough with yourself, you’ll come to find brilliance. By transforming the way you see things, you’ll get to transform the world around you. This isn’t a quote, it’s my experience! — Though, it probably is someones quote too…

I peaked in high-school, I was at the top of my soccer performance, I was hyper confident and I knew how good I was. The thing is, when you peak, you also have to then go downwards afterwards and if you don’t cope well with whats in the valley, you’re going to have a rough time. Luckily enough, as life is well done, I had it in me to go through the pain and even though it would have been nice to go through easier things, it also taught me about my own inner strength to endure.

I chose to stay in the valley for a long while to, like Bane from Batman, “to be moulded by” darkness. Or in other words, to work with my inner darkness and overcome it.

I’d advise you do the same. Be an oak, not a seasonal flower...



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