When you’re going through a transformation, a transitory phase where nothing makes sense anymore, and you have no clue what you’re doing, or where you’re going, and you overhear some random preachy youtuber telling you that you need to ‘stop living in mess’. Take it as a pinch of salt. You’re life isn’t supposed to be picture perfect right now, because you’re going through unknown states that most people would probably repress.
Take consolation in the fact that in the midde of a storm, there will be wind and stuff gets blown all over the place. So, while you’re going through this transitory period where nothing makes sense, nothing feels clear, and your life seems to be falling apart, let go.
Accepting, and letting go, is probably the best you can do, because its being mature enough to see that you don’t have control over what is going on right now and acknowleging that no matter how much you clean your room or the dishes, your mind will still be a mess, until you let go of the material reality you’re fighting against and start to make internal shifts towards cleaning up, organising, spring cleaning what you don’t want, and amplifying what you would love to have more of.
Your life is supposed to be messy, until you get it together. The only notion of control you need is the ability to accept yourself, and making yourself your top priority. You get to shine your full attention on yourself, healing yourself, taking care of yourself, Loving yourself, and building yourself.
When life falls apart, and the way you were living needs to crumble, the more you hold on, the worse it gets. In fact, being rigid and not letting change occur is probably the best way to end up hurt.
‘BUT…’, we say, ‘I need to be in control’.
In control of what? One responds.
The only thing we can control is where we place our attention, how we choose to think about what we percieve, how we interpret the information and … that’s about it really.
We are here for the ride, God is in the drivers seat, we are but co-pilots giving indications to God about where to go, what to do, and so on. We are but children sitting in the passenger seat, observing the adult ‘do what we want’, except for when we’re wrong, the adult will continu to guide us towards a better circumstances.
You can have whatever you want in life. You really can. Absolutely anything. But you can’t have it, if the foundation of your Wanting it is based in lack, fear, pain, confusion etc.
Most of the time, we want things because of feelings we aren’t allowing ourselves to feel. Rejecting our circumstances, rejecting our body, jealousy because ‘others have and we don’t’ frustration ‘because things don’t workout the way we want’, self-hate ‘because we don’t comprehend what it is that we’re doing that is holding us back, fear ‘because we don’t know how x, y, z will turn out..’. And so, what do we do? We run towards the exact opposite, we run towards the contrast of what we are feeling in order to ‘balance out’ what we are experiencing. As a way of escape, because we ‘can’t accept’ the way we feel about our present circumstance.
In truth, the answer is Acceptance, letting ourselves take inventory of what is currently going on, what we have or don’t have, where we are, and how we feel about it. Most important, is the internal narrative going on, and the emotions we’re feeling about said experience. Very clearly, what will stick out is our rejection of what it is that we don’t want.
We are holding on, and fighting what it is that we don’t want, as if it will bring us back to ‘when things were good’ or bring us to ‘where we want to be’. This is erronious thinking, because essentially, we’re holding onto a piece of concrete in the middle of a house on fire because that concrete is cool and provides a ‘momentary relief’ to the situation we’re in. Holding on won’t help us go back in time to prevent the fire, and it won’t put out the fire and save us or take us to a nice new home. (Perhaps we might have a home in heaven if we hang on too long, but that’s another conversation…). The only solution, is to let go of that fixed solid thing that can’t change, accept that we need to look at our ‘flamboyant’ emotions that are getting out of control, and perhaps call the firebregade, or even get the hosepipe and start putting the fire out…
So, your life is mess right now. Great! That means, that you get the chance to arrange it the way you want it. It means, you have the liberty to re-create, to re-craft, to re-brand, transform, look back on eveything that you’ve done, all that you’ve accomplished. You can take stock of what you’re capable of, what you’ve learned, what you no longer want, and also you have an excuse to actually change. This is a good thing, it’s freeing.
You don’t have to always see the downside, sometimes you can see the brightside, be optimistic about how everything is going to hell.
When I was in university, I had a superb racing bike, just perfect. Carbon frame, super light, it felt like an exercise Ferrari. It was snappy, it was fast, it was light. And it turned heads. I was really proud of it. I’d worked hard at my first job, and when I left, I decided to reward myself with a beautiful roadbike. But then, one day, the gearbox had a problem, so I had to get it fixed. I took it to the bikeshop, and was told to comeback a week later. I left the bike with the new piece I had ordered, and left the bike guy do his thing. A week later, I get a call. ‘Your bike is ready, you can come and get it.’ Yey! So, I go in to town to pick it up. Everything flows perfectly, it no longer makes the ‘clunk’ noise it did the week before. So, I happily cruise through town on my incredible mecanical steed. Proudly, I accelerate to see if everything was ‘not too good to be true’, and it wasn’t, it was perfect. I then decided to pop into the library to say hello to a friend, so I attach the bike to the bikerack, and walk in to the establishment feeling carefree and renewed. 5 minutes after meeting up with my friend, I decide to go for a coffee, so I head out and to my internal bewilderment, my bike was gone. I looked around, just incase, but it was no where to be found. In that instant, I had been robbed blind. And my tendency to get infuriated would normally have risen to Vesivius Volcano level anger, but in that instant, I just chose to let go and move on. I had a few moments of confusion pop up, but I didn’t even engage the feeling of anger, I just let go and my day went on as if nothing happened.
I say all this, because, it illustrates the fact that some things aren’t in our control, and choosing to get angry would have actually hurt me after something bad happened. By letting go, I actually got to experience a feeling of freedom and release which would then open the door for me to move on flowingly and happily, because it was all outside of my control.
It’s freeing, because it allows you to go towards new things. It allows us to evolve.
We’re not here for the material, we’re here for our internal evolution, our internal experiences, and these experiences help us to shape who we become. From the vantage point of this perspective, we are on a journey to personal evolution towards better internal states. And truth be told, I was always super conscious of that bike, Godforbid I get a scratch or anything… Just like my parents sports car when I was younger, we had this red convertible, and the only thing which became apparent was the rarity and price of the car and how my mum was always worried about not damaging it…
Sometimes an old banger is enjoyable, because we get to be carefree. It’s that sense of freedom which is appealing, not the self-conscious, over-alert, inability to relax because we ‘might’ make a mistake, that’s a form of imprisonment, that’s not libertating, that’s fear inducing. What we want is to feel free, to feel joyful, to feel spontaneous, to be fully in the present moment, in flow with who we are, not one step removed thinking about what-ifs.
We search for things which we believe will give us forms of pleasure, as a contrast to the fears and pains we experience within. Instead of deciding to find internal harmony, to let go and be in peace, we’d rather take action and force our way towards a fickle and temporary solution.
When it comes time to let everything fall apart, sometimes its painful. And so, what do we do? We cling to ‘what is familiar’, what made us feel a certain way, what comforts us, because of Fear of the unknown. And that’s okay, it’s okay. Because it’s a temporary phase which we pass through, as we become aware of our internal courage, or that by letting go we can feel lighter or freeer, or a tamporary moment in time where we use this ‘crutch’ as a contrasting experience on which we can decide to turn East, North or West. Our experiences provide directional knowledge while we’re grasping in the dark for what lights up our soul. We’re kind of like a ball in a pinball machine, and we bounce of things that aren’t for us, we tense up when we think the ball is about to fall, and we relax when we know the ball is on the right trajectory towards it’s winning horizon.
Letting things fall apart, means that they were put together at some point in time. While asking one’s self, why things are falling apart, one might repond with a ‘perhaps, I didn’t put things together consciously and just accepted to live life, and be as I was told because I didn’t know any different‘. Perhaps, it’s time to let the storm happen, see that the storm is happening because we have expanded and grown out of the previous shell we ‘lived in’ and that we need to now rearrange our life so that we can continu expanding rather than fighting our previous limiting beliefs, lifestyle, life…
It’s a chance, because, we get to look back at all the things we have learned, all that we have done, and build back from the vantage point of having had a vast amount of wisdom and experience. Now we get to build a house and we get to choose every square inch, every color, every scent, every feeling … We get to now play the masters of our universe from the hight of our experience and we don’t have to make hasty decisions based on the outside world, fears, not knowing, and so on. We get to create freely who want what we want to be.
Cherokee.blog 