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  • A white lie for a single tear

    I write to free myself from the regret of trusting, again and again, the empty promisses of the inadequate. Because of the lies told while looking you in the eye. The inconsequential lies in the face of the inevitable.

    Truth is, it doesn’t matter what any authority tells you. When you know deep down that they’ll screw up, as they always do in their positions of authority, all you can do is sign up for the band wagon and jump on for the ride. Because as soon as you’ve signed over your illusion of control over to them, everything else is essentially out of your hands but your self-control.

    I suppose I’m angry, because things didn’t work out precisely as I wished. I didn’t have enough control over the situation, enough to go over their heads and do better.

    I find myself thinking at night, ‘if only… ‘

    I hope that there was no suffering.

    I doesn’t matter what you request, they don’t care at the end of the day. They just need to do their job and find something to say that matches the situation they’re tending to.

    Although I know they’re probably good at their job. The fact is, as human beings they lack levels of subtlety and that is where my frustration comes from. They just don’t understand what is being asked of them.

    And so the moment arrives, and we’re asked to make a decision.

    The facts are there, we even doubt the diagnosis at hand. We bargain with the inevitable.

    Time isn’t on our side, we’re negociating for what is already written in stone.

    Fate had taken over since already a while.

    Could one prevent the suffering? The single tear in those last moments. The existential acknowledgement that those pained last seconds would ultimately run out. Time fleeting, senses numbed, body assisted.

    Regrets? And what if there were regrets? What could be done? Where there any second chances? Anything possible for those last moments? Something to say, something to express? Anything?

    Of course, one speaks. It all sounds like some scripted telenovella. Against the current of the perfect Golden-silence, any word falls short. So one tries to say something of meaning, but it doesn’t matter. We all know. We all understand. The love was during the journey, the love was in our exchange, in our actions, not at ones deathbed. There are no words well enough to live up to that type of moment.

    Of course, there is a pressure, to live up to say the right thing, even the wrong thing, anything. But nothing comes up that hasn’t already been said. So one squeezes their hand just a little tighter while realizing that it’s out of our control.

    With fate at the drivers seat, one can only help but observe as the sand melts through one’s fingers.

    Of course, the only thing that matters is that you’re there. And even that doesn’t matter. What matters is the time one consciously spent. The seeds carefully planted, the memories to be relived. The laughs, the warmth, the good times, the vulnerability, the patience, the protective and well-meaning intent, the exchange during our time here.

    What matters is past, what matters is already part of you. What is happening while grasping to hold on to the last grains of sand – right now – is the realization that there is no more time and that the Love and warmth we once felt emanating will soon go Cold.

    Only in our perception of this stellar warmth can we replicate, can we incorporate, can we become what we saw within them. But if we see, then we already know, and if we know, we already are. It’s a matter of acknowledgement. A transcendence in reverse, a heritage from one life to another.

    One can only empathise with that single last tear, and fill it with our collective understanding of what it means. And even in the utter and complete assurance that there would be no suffering, that one wouldn’t acknowledge that this is indeed the end, that single tear is not accidental. That single tear, I translate as:

    Do not worry. There is so much I would have done with you, so much I had to say. If I could only hug you one last time and tell you it will all be alright. It’s the realization that I didn’t take care of myself and cost my time with you. It’s the realization that there’s no turning back now. It’s the letting go of our material condition. It’s the fear, the love, the hope, the ambitions, the regret, the pride, the faith, the strength and all emotions pertaining to going through one’s memories and feelings one last time. It’s straining to take those last breathes one at a time, each one more demanding than the last. It’s the inability to open one’s eyes, and the lack of power to come back. It’s the gentle and subtle acknowledgement that we’re slipping away… It’s hearing without being able to say things back. It’s feeling trapped in a state of fleeting… Do not worry, you’ve got this. You’re stronger than you think you are. I’m proud of you. I’m here and will always be watching over you. Keep your mother and sister safe. Don’t be afraid, you can do this.
    Take care. Dad…

    Martin J Goldberg
    29.03.58 – 23.04.23
  • The flow of time.

    I’ve found something I can’t seem to control, or influence. The effect of time.

    Faced with the inevitability that my parents are getting older, that their health isn’t getting any better, that the people I love are fleeting like sand.

    The notion that the more time goes on, the less time I have with them and that I will one day be alone, cut off from them as we’ll be in different dimensions. Time will have run out, and my lack of ability to fully appreciate all that they are will have flowed through my fingers.

    Yet I am as conscious as I can be, and have been for a while, trying to savour our moments together. And somehow, the idea of savouring or trying to appreciate that moment seems foreign to them, as if the practice is seeing them as dead. Yet they are not, and that is why the want to somehow remember through a conscious light what they are is not a vain attempt. Yet, always seems to feel like a contradictory and awkward thing to do.

    One day, looking back, one will regret one’s attempts to try to control anything. In one’s observance, struggling in quicksand comes to mind. Control seems anything but gracious. I can’t seem to remember many gracious emanations from myself, that frustrates me. And yet, I have many gracious blessings, mostly synchronicities through what I see and feel in my inner world. But if I’m the one who tries to manifest it, it seems off, it seems dumb and unrefined, as if a man stumbles and trips his way through life while also observing a flowing ballerina in rythme, in tune… Control seems to me about as adequate as using a hammer to open an egg.

    And yet, when one looks back over one’s life, ones interactions, one’s intentions… its always lacking that blissful element, that man cannot utter a word without making the golden silence ugly, without ruining that which is already perfect, without the subtle grace that is already and doesn’t need to be altered.

    And somehow, we want things from our parents, things, behaviours, acceptance, love, something. I wonder, if there is a subtle and graceful possibility to enjoy a mutual and subtle embrace of those one loves without damaging the present petal of a moment they represent in time.

    How can one not damage? How can one not influence wrongly so? How can one not say the wrong thing? How can one speak yet be ‘Right on!’ and not disturb the gentle peace that’ll one day be a fading memory? How can one not look back, and regret one’s thumbling mistakes? And yet move on without fear of losing that unique exchange, the ever so mundane, that boring predictable moment that one will regret not ceasing if one moves forward carefree?

    Perhaps all of this seems confused, it really isn’t. Or at least it’s me, talking to myself, trying to make sense of all the confusion that is the messy human condition, in all its shapes, forms and expressions. I suppose you cannot force a river to turn around, you must let it flow the way it wants to go

  • Anonymous & Global Identifications
    • Anonymity seems to be where we’re going. Similar to the pirate radio, anoymous internet seems to be the way forward towards a world of freedom. Why do we have to have identity checks to use social media and so on? As always, one guy fucks up and the whole group has to get out of the pool… And from my own experience, I’d rather not give my id to some big tech company to have them put me in a box and advertise or make decisions for me.
    • What are the solutions to this?
    • A solution I’m thinking about: Anon global ID’s:
      A third party validated PASS: where Identity is confirmed by organization but the person in front of you doesn’t get the information. This could protect individuals, but also allow officials to have confirmation that you’re a solid valid law abiding entity.

      An Identity validation passport where only the middleman knows, but doesn’t care about who does what, so long as there are no criminal activities.

      Governments can contact this organization to check validity, but Big tech, and other institutions don’t have access unless X person has committed criminal activity. So institutions can use this ID for users, but not have access to their personal data. Law institutions can work with this Anon ID’s in order to confirm X ID. This ensures that civilians are secure and their data and identity is kept private. But also keeps civilians accountable via the fact their identity is held by third party and can be divulged in the case of ill intentioned activities.

      I came up with this idea because I tried to create a test Instagram account and found that I couldn’t log in if I didn’t give a proper name, with a photo, and so on. The data checks are intrusive. Then, I decided to reactivate my linked in account and found that I had to wait for ‘activation’ by some third party and this triggered me. Also, big data has been stealing our data for years. So, for me this is something I think could set users free while ensuring that innocent people don’t get caught up in bad peoples muck.
  • How to become a Superstar coder?
    How to be a superstar coder?

    (Disclaimer: This article is aimed at creating a high quantity/quality output of code and not the aim of perfection. )

    I bet you’ve already heard of super-star coders. You know, the kind of coders who get an idea, pull an all nighter (or more likely an all weaker), and single-handedly create the next facebook. In his book Coders, Clive Thompson explains the super-star coder as being someone who is highly sought out in successful businesses and startups. Despite being a little ego-centric (and driven to walk on water due to their God-like ability to talk to computers) one thing remains: These people can output amazing quantities of code.

    Here’s how to become a superstar coder:

    During the last 10 years, I decided to write a book ( and ended up writing 2). You might be thinking, there’s nothing special about this, but you’re wrong ( I see you, all of you!). 

    As I was saying, During the last 10 years, and writing my books, I stumbled across something that changed my life for the better, and integrated it into my toolkit as it became part of my process. While researching my books, I discovered my process of ideation (how my mind worked). Where I would read a tone of books, and from the specific subjects I read, I would hone in on specific types of ideas relating the subjects I had imbibed.

    I would consume a specific amount of knowledge > reach a point of saturation > take a break and get a stimulus (go for a run, a walk or a cycle…) and then > Get a flow of ideas. There’d be times where I’d have to stop constantly to note down all my ideas… *

    Now, do you see where I’m going? No? Ok, I’ll explain…

    What type of content does a coder consume on a constant basis? And what are superstar coders famed for? That’s right, Ideation and writing code!  

    So, within my process, of (Input, process, output), It was easy for me to output those ideas onto paper, because I had trained as a writer. But, take someone who is trained to write computer code, and then consumes computer code incessantly before bed, at wake, … It’s not surprising to me that these superstar coders would be as prolific as they are. 

    And this is the secret. 

    You can become a rockstar coder too, once you know code well enough that you don’t have to refer to externals to write it. If you consume code on a daily basis, and it is fluent to you, you have a clear process / methodology that you apply nearly as second nature ‘its become automation to you’.

    10000 Hours myth?

    I’d say that to master a subject isn’t entirely useful unless you’re going to be tested on that subject (Ahem, jumping through hoops..). Although, having a sound functional understanding of said subject can be largely enough for us to write fluently. For example, I can speak French perfectly, I went to school in France and I have clocked a good amount of hours speaking French, though there comes a point where studying French has decreasing returns as I can clearly read and write French on a fairly decent level. The main question becomes “How much usage do I need from this language?” Can I build an app with the knowledge I have, or am I still googling what variables are? A sound functional understanding of something, that allows us to apply our knowledge in practicality is far more useful than learning by heart every term in JavaScript or making a 3 year study ( knowing that the average human has between 3000 and 5000 hours of applicable time per year). We can get away with functional application learning, rather than full blown autism type mastery. It all comes down to what we need to do: do you need to code an app? Or do you need to go to space? Learn accordingly, but have an accesible knowledge you can apply effortlessly.

    The Process of ideation:

    Input (consuming X), Process (saturate, then stimulate), Output (capture processed code/content of consumption). = IDEA FLOW.

    One has to know coding languages well enough to be fluent in them and also have worked their mind to understand the inherent logic that is needed in code (such as Pseudo code).

    In the mind of a superstar coder, they will get to a point of saturation and eventually their mind needs to pour out coding results via ideas/inspiration. Extent of imbibed code + creative process = code flow state where they vomit up all the coding ideas that they’ve consumed. 

    Superstar coder’s consume code and systems type thinking before they reach ideation.
    But once they reach ideation, they need a process or a funnel through which they can apply that inspired energy into for there to be an output of code.

    The funnel/process goes a little like this**:

    As a coder, you first want to ‘Visualise:’
    1) How do the parts of the system communicate with each other? How does the data flow? 2) How can something be built in the best way possible? How can this be extended further?

    Then, you start ‘Planning‘ and ‘Sourcing‘:
    The planning phase is where we create the blueprint of what needs to be done.
    1) How can this be as user centric as possible? What doesn’t work? What needs to be changed? How can we improve this as best as possible?
    2) Plan how to fit the jigsaw together. Draw/visualise new parts of the system.
    3) Where will this system get Data? How will it handle it?

    And then ‘Prototyping’ :
    1) These are essentially what the rockstar coder strives for, a materialisation of his vision, which generally come out as a visible prototype.

    Stress Testing, Experimentation, Tweaks, Clean up .
    Stress testing and experimentation are highly useful, although from here on its the editing phase. To make sure things are consumer accessible or simply shippable, which I won’t get into as the purpose of the article is the super High productivity through code.

    In conclusion

    I will say that Super Star Coders apply Two routines in addition to having mastered the understanding of coding languages. Its as simple as that. But it takes a lot of work to get to simple.

    The ideation phase one gets from consuming code ( Input > Process > Output) needs to be injected into a Funnel (Visualise > Planning > Sourcing > Prototyping > Experimentation > Final tweaks and clean up) to produce the code required for the $Billion Dollar business.

    *This is the underlying structure under how ‘Superstar coders’ become super star coders. They simply apply this routine in their lives. Only, they read code and their stimulus is related to coffee or Redbull.

    ** A Special thanks to (@Sergii Kirianov on Twitter) for his assistance on extrapolation of coding mental process that would become the Funnel for the ideation phase output.

  • The optimisation of coffee: Learning to use coffee as a strategic tool for productivity.

    We all love a good hot cup of coffee. Steaming hot with that pumpkin spice stuff they serve at Starbucks. I don’t care if you like coffee or not, according to google “Two billion cups of coffee are consumed every single day, with 1 billion coffee drinkers worldwide.” that’s a lot of coffee. So this article is aimed at the coffee drinkers.

    Coffee went mainstream in the 1650’s, but the coffee break was only invented in Denver in 1940 as a result of people struggling to make ties for more than 5hours at a time. So they invented the coffee break to ‘boost production. Not to give people time to rest, but to boost production.

    Now, although rest, when done adequately, does provide better focus, a 5 to 10-minute break isn’t enough for us to recover from 5 hours of work. So the logic of ingesting coffee, when we’re already tired, seems to me to be one that depletes us for the good of the company.

    I’ll step away from company bashing for a second, to infuse a new idea. One of coffee as a tool. Like any tool, when used abusively, it can have undesirable effects on us.
    Take social media for example, at its core, it’s an advertising platform that individuals have invested themselves on to and have ended up advertising their lives by publishing the best and only the best aspects of themselves. Some have harnessed this well, richer people tend to have an easier time advertising their lives as they have a lot of desirable toys many poor people want. A good number of women have taken to social media like flies to ****, because it appeals to their nature to flaunt and shine, they advertise ‘their business’ and attract gullible morons like sirens in the sea.
    Another example would be smartphones. We used to love sitting in front of the TV as kids, we all gathered around the set on a Sunday afternoon, until we discovered it wasn’t productive or interesting to us. Then we got smartphones, we aspired to be like the important business type people we saw in the movies and took to sending emails with our hand device. Fast forward to today, we’re all hooked to a certain degree. Though we all know it’s not great for our health or our mindsets, but we do it anyway because the hook is that we’re all separated from each other and we’re hooked to wanting to connect to others but we can’t always do that so we depend on smartphones to bridge the gap. Obviously there are other details of why we’re addicted to social media, but that isn’t the point.

    All of this to say that, coffee is but a tool, not a staple in our diet. And when we see it that way, we can actually down regulate our energy, recover efficiently, and heal our bodies well.
    Imagine being on a high constantly, but never coming down to a grounded state. It’s the contrast we like, not the high. We like the high, because it gives us altitude over the low or the norm’ we live everyday. That’s just it though, our norm should be a norm for us, it shouldn’t always be high. Take a plane for example, if it doesn’t refuel it can’t fly high in the sky. So, it must be grounded to refuel after every so many flights. We humans aren’t machines though, so our ability to refuel isn’t mechanical and therefore isn’t as predictable as putting fuel in a tank or ingesting coffee. This is the big mistake we make, we don’t make that distinction, we just do it because that’s what everyone else does.

    Which is why I propose the idea to you, as I already apply it for myself, to not consume coffee but only specific types of food and drinks that don’t stimulate you during your everyday life and find a baseline that is natural to you. That baseline is maintainable and devoid of illusion. It allows us to respect our bodies, our organs and our health.

    And only, when the time comes, that one has refuelled properly which is having slow days, having down days, going through boring uneventful days, and so on, that one can choose to – if one needs the stimulus – ingest coffee to reach the nervous high.

    For example, take the No Coffee row from monday to sunday. During the no coffee phase, we actually prepare, heal, compound nutrients in our body. And then on the sunday when we choose to consume coffee or a stimulus (going for a cycle or run for example), the preparation during our week has lead us to have a higher and more qualitative High on the sunday.

    In the second Row ‘No Stimulus’, we eat and drink as neutral and calming nutrients as possible, and only if the event happens where we need to added output ‘on thursday’ do we consume the coffee, and then we go back to the status quo baseline of energetic normalcy.

    No only is this better for our health, if we choose to consume coffee, it’s more effective when time comes for the added usage of the beverage. When I was a student, I never drunk coffee. Though I applied this same principle. No stimulus during X amount of time, and then I’d use sport/exercise, or music as a stimulus to get a creative output. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, though, looking back I was intuitively reading my energy and applying it efficiently.

    Sometimes we just need time to let our lands lie fallow. If a farmer ploughs his fields consistently, they eventually get depleted and die out. Why do we think our body is any different? The illusion that we have anything technological or mechanical about us.

    There’s a reason why, when we’re taking a medical drug for an extended period of time, that we’re advised to take a 3 to 4 day break after every 30 days of usage of the drug. Why do you think this is?

    Test it out, see how it works for you. I’ll bet that you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

    All the best,

  • How to be ‘Worthy’ of receiving?

    “The universe only gives us what we think we are worthy of receiving.” – Joe Dispenza

    • Everything you perceive starts in your vision, in your mind.
    • What you see in your mind as inevitable will come to pass.

    So, how can I hack my way to believing I am worthy of what I want?

    Understand what prevents us from receiving or acting/attracting→ We have a fear of obtaining negative outcomes due to “lack of experience” controlling our vision. Fear prevents us from getting what we want. Because we believe that if we envision something negative it will happen. Or more precisely, we prevent and stifle our actions because we are afraid of obtaining the fearful vision we have in our heads.

    What is the solution to this?

    • Become crystal clear on the outcome you believe you deserve. Write it down on paper, create vision boards. But more so, practice the positive outcome you dream of and don’t give into the negative outcome. And if the negative vision so happens to come into your mind, go to a neutral perspective and stop ‘forcing yourself‘ to envision. Take a break, let the dust settle, calm your emotions (because your negative vision is coming from your emotions, trying to warn you of danger. Our brain wants to prevent change because it means it will have to venture into the unknown and that is scary for it.) and start again when your emotions are calm.
    • Clarify and then intensify your internal vision until it matches the decided outcome/blueprint that has been decided on paper. First of all, clarify: Figure out what it is that will make you feel worthy, seem worthy, and believe you are worthy. This can be learning, structuring your mind, and overcoming challenges that help you grow mentally such as a subject you struggle with, that will help expand your skillset. Become clear on what it is you want, how you can provide value, how you can excel by mastering said subject, and how you can contribute to your surrounding and extended society by adding the best value you can. Envision your skillset, the best circumstances you can imagine, and how you can scale that skillset to help as many as possible without diluting the quality of your participation. Then, you’ll want to intensify your ability to do so, by applying a form of leverage. Leverage can be anything from advertising, publishing a lot of videos, using money to do the work for you, employing others who are better than you in specific tasks so that they can in turn create value for you so that you can provide value for others. Intensify also means that you’ll need to create a heightened energy output that you can maintain for longer periods. For example, light exercise everyday doesn’t wear you out but produces energy you can then apply to what you are doing. Intensification of vision, is how become crystal clear about the outcome we’re striving for.

      Intensification happens when we have:
      1) More blood flow to the brain (so after light exercise or light stimulus).
      2) When we feel safe and at peace (we don’t have to worry about the future, no one is attacking us…).
      3) When we’re inspired and we have prepared (the process of ideation, for example, is when we prepare by ingesting content. We then arrive at a point of saturation from preparation, and we enter a space of ideation. This process, repeated as a routine, creates a habit of preparation for envisioning our outcomes for example.).
      4) We repeat the ingestion of the outcome, with only incremental tweaking, until we have practiced our ability to perceive that vision simply because we want to.
    • We become worthy of something when we are of equal worth. You are worth a 30 000 € car when you have 30 000€ to spend on that car. Your time is worth what you deem worthy of your attention, that won’t waste your time, that will give you a good return on your effort, and not mislead you: so something worthy of your time is something you deem of equal quality to something you like, something you want, something you hope for. When we talk about net-worth, it is a number you are equal to in relation to 0 or debt, but more so in relation to how much freedom you can buy or have brought. Worth is, in a sense of this quote, the value we think we need to become to receive what we want.

    I’ve attached my deconstruction of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s quote.
    “The Universe gives us what we think we are worthy of receiving.”

    All the best,

  • The power of a wife

    Very often, we men believe that we need to white knuckle through life disregarding all things associated to emotion. We force our way through learning things, we force-feed our minds like ducks for foie-gras and we think we need to be physically strong in all things action. All the while, we’re oblivious to the power of the heart and how much we depend on our will power to get us through difficulties. We solidify ourselves into ‘discipline machines’ in order to apply our vision to external circumstances.

    We also, very often miss out on the opportunity to enact our vision with the power of intention. Our actions, when made with the intention to live up to a standard, define the amount of good will we can assert. When we’re alone, we don’t care half as much. This is why women want us to dress nice, have a clean, nice smelling home, and so on. They uphold standards for us!

    We make more effort when we know we’re doing it for someone than when we’re doing it for ourselves. And the truth is, this is the process artists use when they have a muse. The artist bridges the gap between his talent and her beauty or whatever he aspires to live up to within her and the bridge is the art he produces while he reaches to ‘please her’.

    Having a wife is the same thing (or a girlfriend, one doesn’t need to be married), we aspire to do things well because in doing well for them, we do well for ourselves. It’s a virtuous spiral. Similar to this is the vicious spiral spouses take when they fall out of love and part ways, they spiral out of control, do everything and anything that will displease their partner and end up destroying the union. Not only that, they destroy the possibility to evolve towards a better version of themselves than they could be on their own.

    The only reason we need isolation is to conjure up enough pain to force ourselves to change toward being good enough to be in a relationship. And when we’ve had enough of our own nonsense and overcome enough hurdles to stand on our own two feet, we then fall in Love. Or put another way, because we’ve learned to love ourselves by making tones of mistakes, we then realise a way to self-love and respect ourselves by striving for what is good for us. We start working on ourselves and bettering our skillsets and so on and in the process of becoming good at a skill, we then monetise it. This is the moment that defines when we can be with someone, we can stand on our own two feet. When this moment occurs, and our potential starts to show, we then start to become magnetic. Our confidence starts to show, and we attract our significant other.

    Our ship will not leave without us, but we cannot get into a relationship if we’re not ready to get on a ship and part for adventure in the first place. And one is ready for adventure, when they realise they have what they need to cross the ocean.

  • Commitment

    It’s not that we’re not able to do things, it’s that if we want to do them well we must make sacrifices.

    We can do as many things as we like during a period to discover what we like, but once we discover what we like, one must make sacrifices in order to master what they decide to do.

    Making a commitment to people is allocating our time and resources to create an outcome, it’s a promise we cannot break unless we’re to sully our relationship. Our word is our bond.

    To live up to our word, we must then realign our life around what we commit to. This is a great thing, to be aligned with a specific outcome, though more troublesome when what we commit to isn’t on our path.

    To commit to one activity and then become great at it, is to restrain oneself to one journey.
    For a generalist like me to specialize, it means to give up just that, the identification that I’m a ‘generalist’. A label that has served me well while searching for myself and what I like. To have a wide panel of things to taste and try. It means that in order to become great at something one must cut off from all other possibilities and trust that what they are engaging in will work out.

    A commitment is “an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.“, and who says restriction also makes the decision to become narrow and laser focussed. To commit to an activity is to unscatter yourself and simplify your life to allocate all of your resources to one outcome and discard anything that isn’t that. The Latin word Decision literally means, “to cut off.” Making a decision is about “cutting off” from choices – cutting you off from some other course of action that had nothing to do with the outcome you have chosen. A little like in the movie “Divergent” where one chooses a faction.

    Making a commitment to someone means that you’re choosing to allocate your effort and attention to them during the time it takes to fulfill your contract to them. Although, there is a contract, as subtle as it seems, and it needs to be fulfilled. If your Signatory has not relinquished you from your promise, you are not free. This type of pact is what distinguishes you from the wishy-washy swindlers out there, as a trust-worthy person people can rely on. And people want to be able to rely on you. No one wants to be decieved.

    More importantly, making a decision is to make your life easier. To simplify decision-making means to have more energy, but also to cut off from things that aren’t necessary. So my questions to you, and to myself are:

    -> In the next 3-5-10 years what are you striving to achieve?

    -> Do your current actions validate your vision?

    -> What isn’t essential in your life? What is a distraction? What is in the way of your progress?

    -> What are the best practices to achieve results (for me & related to my decision)?

    -> What actions of mine make sense/don’t make sense?

    -> Are the people around me, the environment, my mindset, and focus, aligned with what I’m striving to accomplish?

  • Romantic Mirrors and True Love: A quick clarification

    When you meet The one, they will not leave, you cannot lose them. We hear this in fairy tailes and romantic stories all the time. 

    But how can anyone affirm this? Where’s the proof? And why can’t I find “The one” right now?!

    Well for starters, if everyone is a mirror of who we are, and we go through life like an onion shedding layers everytime we interact with someone, then we must acknowledge that Where we are right now is imperfect. We walk around with – in Jesus’s words- tree trunks preventing us from seeing clearly. 

    These tree trunks are our illusions, and our illusions are partly caused by our childhood schemas, they’re partly caused by our unexamined schemas and patterns that we play out, the biased thoughts we hold and repress that affect our everyday interactions and actions. 

    Then one day we meet someone. It’s been a while since we felt like this. We say to ourselves that we “Love them”. Then that person walks off and sleeps with someone else, or simply doesn’t respond for a couple of days or whatever. We suddenly lose our footing, we’re destabilized, we feel lost and we feel we can’t breathe without them. We make a snapshot judgment that they are “The One”, because we’re co-dependent on them… We then sit around moping, and crying and being dramatic and all that melodramatic “kid needs mom, kid needs attention…” behavior. 

    Except, here’s where all of that falls flat on its face. None of that is “Love” so to speak. If everyone is a mirror to what and who we are when we meet and interact with them, then what is being mirrored back to us is a flawed version of ourselves that we cling on to, because it resembles what we THINK is what we are supposed to be. Out of fear we cling, we hold on, we strive to force circumstances and “make things happen”, so that we won’t lose them. 

    Notice I just said, “…so that we won’t lose them.”. What is wrong with this sentence apart from my wonky grammar? We are in fear, we believe that some entity who loves us, and whom we love, will walk away. We believe that something we say or do will prevent them to abandon us. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. 

    The reason I can say this so confidently is that when we’ve worked on ourselves and we have consciously strived to dissolve our illusions, when we’ve done a significant amount of work on ourselves; the being we discover cannot be taken away because it’s not an illusion it’s who we are deep down. 

    Who we are deep down cannot be taken away from us, it is our soul, it is our most intangible and precious, but also the most consistent part of ourselves. So, when it comes time for someone to mirror “WHO YOU ARE” back to you in that romantic moment of meeting “The one”, first of all you’re confident because you’ve become confident in dealing with life on your own and know that you can manage perfectly well on your own, but second you are just you in everything that that entails which means that they can be interested, curious, increased or decide to walk away or even “reject” the notion or their understanding of 

    YOU, but they CANNOT TAKE “WHO YOU ARE” away. So when you meet “The one”, they will simply mirror back to you, everything that you are back to you. This puts an emphasis on the amount of work you invest in and on yourself before meeting “the right person”. This also takes away any notion of 

    FEAR you can have about losing the person we think is the one. Because we cannot lose The one if we are authentically and truly ourselves. When I say “truly ourselves”, we can’t possibly be truly ourselves until we’ve been through life’s challenges, until we’ve been through the nitty gritty, until we’ve reached rock bottom and had to climb back up to the top of our mountain – on our own-. Saying this, I mean that through life’s challenges, tests and trials, we chip away the excess onion skins that are NOT US and we reach a point of essentialism between us and ourselves. That point of essentialism forges and fortifies our knowledge of our authentic self, who we are minus all the BS that is imposed on us right, left, and center since childhood. And when we can be that Authentic Self full time, without even thinking about it, that is precisely when we meet “the one”. 

    They step into our lives as a sort of celebration to indicate to us that “everything” we’ve been doing, all the work we’ve been doing on ourselves, on our wellbeing, on our health, on our mind, on our emotions, in our interactions, in our business… Everything is then mirrored back to us, and we’ve thus given “The all empowering wings” of Love. You know, when we become unstoppable, and who we are is magnified via the relationship. 

    For example, this is precisely where the idea of “Behind all great men is a great woman…”. This is based on LOVE with a capital L, the type that empowers our true self, because we have done the hard deep painful work, because we’ve put in the effort to work on becoming THE MAN we believe the type of woman we aspire to be with will want. 

    So the next time you meet someone and suddenly find yourself forcing matters, fearing that YOU’re not good enough for them… And all the trivial stuff we routinely go through. Remember this: 

    YOUR BOAT WILL NOT LEAVE WITHOUT YOU! What is meant for you will find you.  Everything you have done, your work, your effort, your intention, the extra miles you’ve put in,… it all adds up. And guess what?! It will be mirrored back to you in the form of a heavenly partner, because you Deserve it. 

    We deserve what we get, and those who make tough choices get easy lives, while those who make easy choices get tough lives. Will everything you’ve been doing, and are doing, add up to an outcome you want? If not, think again, our effort defines the kind of outcomes we get. 

  • Podcast episode 1 – Episode 1: On the importance of creating one’s own bubble, consciously choosing our thoughts, stress-testing our thoughts, order consequences, and leading a life with structure and decision rather than letting it happen to us…

    Podcast episode 1

  • New on my blog !


    I’ve decided to add a Calendly link to my blog so that anyone who’s interested in discussing most anything can do so. I believe it’s a great way to get to know people who follow or read my posts and I also get to meet you!

    Feel free to book a session, and whats more… It’s free!

    Click Here: https://calendly.com/cherokeegoldberg/45min

  • Everything you’ve ever desired will one day lose it’s value…
    Press before reading.

    We desire things, circumstances, abilities, skills, more things, people, control over people, and so on. Even the monks in the mountains must work on this.

    We hope and ponder and then desire some more. We cry because we can’t have what we want, only to realise the day we get it that what we had all along was the greatest gift that went unappreciated and is now lost for ever.

    And then, somewhere along the line, we traverse our arduous journeys and arrive at the final peak we’d longed for all along, only to find that we no longer desire it.

    In our moment of achievement, we pop a bottle of champagne, we blow a few balloons, we throw caution to the wind and scream the accumulated pain we’ve carried for too long. But what is now ours is ours and that’s that, it might even be taken for granted despite carrying the heaviest weight of all.

    What else is there?‘ we ask, ‘How can things be better?’ and ‘Where the hell is the grass greener?’ . Like a hamster on its wheel, we then strive again. In vain we change, we become, we overcome, … and then we stop. The dust settles. We’ve once again changed our circumstances. They’re different, they may seem better, they may seem more refined, perhaps more beautiful or more pragmatic.

    Our peers look up to us, at first they pat us on the head, they congratulate us for what they could never achieve, then look at us from a distance with subtle hints of disdain and jealousy. Then silence. Then it happens all again, except now no one’s patting us on the head, and we’re looking down from a high rise ledge. Our problems become more and more intangible. Where we once hoped for food, we now hope for a deafening silence. Where we once hoped for friends, we now hope for loyalty.

    Life has become a battlefield, and most powerful among us evolve faster than the speed of light. We’re all in the battle pit, some of us have stones, some of us guns. Some of us have missiles and then there are the silent and powerful who look down on the pit. We all look up, hoping to one day take their place, hoping to have some form of control over our life.

    We remind ourselves to breath. In and out, in and out, because that is what we really have control over. We close our eyes, and then wake up and the fog of war has lifted. A spring day rears its buds and petals, and a gentle breeze blows over us all. Except it doesn’t. It’s a game of smoke and mirrors, and we’re back to square one. We’ve been duped into the illusion that we have control or power, and somewhere along the path we met the competition: it was the entire world and we alone – just like everyone else- believed that we could take it on. And we did, we looked the world in the eye and with a steel resolve exclaimed ‘I CAN TOO!’

    But could we? Perhaps, perhaps not. Life decided to put us back on our path. The universe ‘aligned us’ with our true purpose. We got knocked down, and stood on. Our lungs barely moving, our breath minute. In quite and patient time we awaited to cease a weakened thought. We shift and we stand. In our herculean effort we strive, and crack open a thought that no longer makes sense. The collar that had been placed around our neck snaps, the thought we had jailed ourselves with pops, and through the steam and smoke, a clear curtain draws back.

    Life has once again changed, except this time the change was ours for the taking. With every fibre of our body and soul, with every once of our being we lifted our mind, and in turn changed our action. Causing a butterfly effect. A man moves his finger in the right direction and causes tidal waves on the other side of the world. We stand.

    A fight we never thought we could fight, is now under our collective foot, and we have become the masters of our fate. But have we? Perhaps not. Seeking for betterment, we hope once again. Nothing is good enough, and then it is. In that high and mighty moment of grace, we stand upon the pillars of our mindly foundations, and find to our grandiose perceptions, that what we had hoped for was already ours, that the fight we led was in our hearts, and the love we so needed was already written in stone.

  • The gift of poverty

    We can often read about how wealth can drives families apart. Fights between siblings over who will own x and y. Spouses becoming venomous over who owns what and who makes x. How grown men commit suicide after losing their accumulated wealth, or how wives will leave their men after a money move didn’t work out as expected. Though, we never really hear about how poverty is a benefit in our lives, or how lacking money allows us to have more time to discover what we are.

    Success is not about what we possess, but about accountability to others. Success is about access, and access is about people. It’s about how we can help others and embracing the opportunity to lift them up. And finding a balance means that we need alone time so we can reconfirm our potential for ourselves, so that others can confront where we fall short. Being around others then is about becoming better. Being alone is about revalidating our vision. The mix of the both allow us to strive for our vision ad get better. Just being alone is poverty. Being with others is wealth. Though, poverty has defined some things for me…

    Poverty gave me contrast

    “He who goes alone goes fast, while he who goes together goes far.”

    I decided as a rule of thumb, that if I went through enough difficulty and pain I would eventually learn to see the silver lining. It so happens that, growing through poverty turned out to be helpful to create a mindset of appreciation. Had I been rich, I would have ‘purchased’ my way towards something looking like happiness and I would have had the lifestyle to go with the money, I would most likely have peers who have the same kind of life style and therefore I’d still be in some form of competition towards looking and being a certain way. Poverty, in my sense, cut me off from opportunities. By being isolated, it allowed me to go through my internal conflict much faster and without any external judgement. While going far is important to me, I needed to go fast through all of my internal conflict – in addition to it being something intangible that no one else can really access because it’s in my own head- and being poor allowed me to go through the various iterations of what works and what doesn’t work.

    Poverty gave me a new start

    Being poor gave me a lot of time (How can I be rich?) to work on myself, to contemplate, to observe… Being poor allowed me to heal. Had I had money, I would have never rested. And, knowing my nature, I tend to want to push and push and I would have worked myself into burnout doing things. Poverty took all my options away and forced me to see what was good in my life, develop gratitude, and appreciate what I did have. Had I just continued with my pursuit for more money, I would most have probably continued seeking for more accumulation rather than more understanding. Being forced to stay in one place allowed me to reevaluate my mindset. I got to read a tone of personal development books, test out ideas, test out business’s…

    Poverty made me focus on what is essential

    When all your options are stripped away, you’re forced to focus on what is in front of you or imagine what could be possible. Time is your friend, and you have to get creative. When you’re alone, undefined by anyone, you can redefine your internal software, you can define the parameters of your life. So if life isn’t working for you, a period of poverty or isolation can actually do you some good, in that you get to reevaluate the way you go about life, what you’re striving for, and how you’re going to interact with others. When you’re cut off from a social setting or a group, you become distinctly aware of your own bullshit. So, as you have no other option than to be here in the now with your own mindset, it only stands to reason that the pain of poverty pushes us to better ourselves towards being successful.

    Poverty helped me to learn decision making

    While I dislike looking at prices for most anything I buy, because I don’t like money being a deciding factor for my life decisions or wants. Rather I prefer to make decisions then pay the price because that is what I actually want. Poverty taught me to keep a budget which I find to be helpful as having fewer options forces you to make decisions. I’m not preaching that poverty is great long term, but if you’re poor long enough you learn to find the value.

    Poverty helped me to become a better manager of time and ressources

    If you only have so much, you essentially have to become a good manager to get by.
    Though you also have to make long-term commitments which is a good thing for anyone wanting to work on long projects. If all you can afford is rent, bills, and food then you essentially have long stretches of time to do anything. Some people resort to drugs, or sit around being bored, they blame the state or society and eventually end up in a vicious circle. But poverty doesn’t have to be a bad thing, it can be a cocoon for personal evolution. Provided that we do the work and have the ability to see the tools we have at our disposition.

    Poverty helped me to address the deeper issues I wasn’t looking at.
    Where, if I had money I would have turned out to be an arrogant loud-mouthed idiot. Being forced to remain in my childhood room for health and money reasons, one tends to give up on the luxury of relationships and social niceties and we tend to retreat into a bubble of our own isolation. This can be a good and bad thing depending on our mindset. Where being social helps us up – when we’re ready – being social can also get in the way of deep work.
    Being isolated helps our inner conflicts to come up to the surface. Similar to a prison sentence, we’re locked in our conditions with our flawed mindsets or our broken thinking patterns and repressed emotions from childhood and we have no choice but to confront them. Hence why many prison inmates ‘go crazy’ if left in solitary for too long, they’re locked in with their own demons!

    Being poor allowed me to be humble and work on myself

    I used to be oblivious to other people, in fact, I didn’t care much for others. I just wanted their attention (because I wasn’t able to give attention to myself). Which essentially translated as acting out loud roles every time I was in a group. I wasn’t well adapted. I was living within a shell of thoughts I believed was me. I had become good at people pleasing and knew how to approach women. I was good at talking my way into paper bags and then out. But I had no sense of humility or empathy. So, being forced to accept living with my family I had to address all of the weird contrived ways I’d developped to ‘survive’ in society.
    A helpful deconstruction.

    Poverty brought our family together

    Luckily, I was born poor. We didn’t have money growing up. And even into my first years of working a job, lack of money was ‘always an issue’. Lacking sufficient income and energy led me to go back home and essentially rework my relationship with my mother. And then something peculiar happened. My sister, whom had no means of money was forced to come home. As a small family unit, we were forced to live side by side in my mothers ol’ rickety house.

    Living and having to coexist with one another forced us to confront our relationship problems and dynamics. Being up close with those who push your buttons and know how to trigger you is one of the most infuriating experiences in the world, it’s also a great lesson in self-mastery and empathy. Learning to overcome control issues, anger issues, self-reflect on where we go wrong, and evaluate a better course of action to take, figuring out how to support one another and have empathy. All of these things ultimately make us better human beings, but none of us necessarily wanted to go through them because they were painful. So, when money wasn’t flowing our way, we somehow found our way back to each other and forced to re-evaluate our ways of being.

    Learning to trust LOVE without bringing money into the equation.

    Money can be a deciding factor for many women. The promise of being taken care of, of an easy jump from harsh beginnings to lush luxury environments. It can also be a reason for distrust in those around you. Having no money will rid you of false expectancies involving whether people like you or not. Being poor forces you to work on your character and become amiable and patient. It also teaches you to appreciate peoples inner qualities more than peoples exteriors. With plastic surgery, a few hours at the gym and a few youtube tutorials, it’s fairly easy for women to look like supermodels today, which is an insane amount of power to have especially for looks or lust. So when money is taken out of the equation, it really demands us to step up our game and look at our traits and skills, insecurities and beliefs, because our money can’t do the talking for us. Which is essentially a good thing as we learn to undo our false beliefs about being liked and we attract good people who are meant for us in spite of our financial condition.

    Although, a lot of the time poverty does translate as a lack of purpose, lack of clarity, lack of vision, or lack of devotion towards an outcome and can very easily be interpreted as laziness. And even if our potential isn’t necessarily defined in poverty, a lot of people who are poor seem to not have a clue about their direction in life or simply don’t give a toss about striving for anything because their belief system prevents them from feeling they can have money in their lives.

    So, when money isn’t in the picture and someone likes you, a lot of the time it’s because they like you. Or don’t believe they can do better (in a world that seems to be dominated by money) because they have self-esteem issues or they may be lazy. Or simply they see something in you and decide to take the risk of believing in you and that’s when we grow wings of possibility and great relationships happen.

    Conclusion of my thought process?

    I’m not preaching to be poor for a lifetime, but I believe it’s important to revisit what it means to be poor from a healthy mindset and not from a place of fear of lack. Most rich people fear being poor again, and it seems that to them poverty is equal to distrust in the process of life. I think everyone should experience poverty at least once in their lives to bring them down and ground them a bit. Everyone talks about Dream achievement and Success, but no one masters the living part which is an essential part of being poor. When all you can do is live in the moment, you focus on what matters. Sure, you’re not going to become the next best VC in the world, but I’m pretty sure that the world is full of people who have more money than they know what to do with.

    Having money is good though. Let’s not delude ourselves with self-righteousness. I won’t delude anyone by trying to sell the concept of poverty as a lifestyle. But I will preach that going through poverty “as a phase” is beneficial if we develop the right mindset – to learn and make the most of the time we have – to deal with our circumstances. Money can buy so many experiences, but let’s not delude ourselves into thinking it will solve our inner problems. And our inner problems are what cause all other problems. Today I was listening to a well known millionaire talk about how since he has money “his life is full of drama“, if I add this statement to another episode where he states that he has “a lot of insecurity“, I can personally conclude that money + insecurities = subtle drama and noise.

    Money is a great tool to help us achieve what we want to achieve, its also a great magnifying tool for who we are. It accentuates what we already are. In my view-point, as I decided to go through pain and difficulty and get the skeletons out of the way first, before striving to become rich, I believe that its important to do the hard gritty work that isn’t glamorous first. By doing so, I believe we become rich on solid and healthy foundations. Obviously I still have a lot of work to do on myself, but I’m fairly certain that I’ve delt with my difficult nitty gritty stuff that will cause problems later. Now it’s only about iteration towards betterment. Having tasted the downside of duality, all the things I didn’t want, I’m fairly certain that I’m quite clear about what I want and how to get there and in addition I feel secure enough (without a million dollar portfolio or anything to my name) to strive for the things I want. Going through poverty from the view point of a mature adult, is similar to walking through an old neighbourhood after having become a blackbelt in some martial art. The dark places we once feared no longer hold much over us, because we can’t go much lower than where we are (of course, we can strive to go lower but it would be quite hard to come back from afterwards). With a conscious vision, some good old fashion hard work to update and learn new skills, and a positive mindset most anything is possible, and whats more? We no longer fear the clutches of poverty…

  • My first 5.78€ !

    I just made 5.78€. This is the best 5.78€ I’ve ever made. I have tears in my eyes, and I feel a graceful implosion of joy within. I just sold the first copy of my book. All of the hard work I’ve done on myself, everything I’ve been striving for. I’ve come so far, and overcome so much. And I think the feels like reaching the tip of the iceberg. I’m not certain how this sale came to happen, now why. But it feels good, I feel so happy. Because the amount of work I put into writing this book and everything I’ve had to go through to understand what I share in this book… It’s been a long journey! It’s far from perfect, I confess, but I put a lot of work into it. I did my best and that’s why I can say this is the best 5.78€ I’ve ever earned. The person who brought my book might demand a refund, who knows? But for now I’m savouring my sale. It’s just one, but it’s mine.

    From nothing, through hard work, and with a solid vision to complete this book I created it. There’s no greater feeling than to be rewarded (no matter how little), for something we’ve put a large effort into. Despite this book being a part of my personal journey, as writing this book was what helped me to turn my life around just a little bit (on a mental level), I’m happy it might interest someone else.

    Whoever you are, where ever you are; Thank you for confirming that everything I did wasn’t for nothing, for validating my transcendence of a difficult time in my life. Thank you. I hope you enjoy the read, and if you don’t please tell me how I can improve it for you.

    All the best,

    The creators guide to the galaxy

    available on Amazon Kindle and Hardcover.

    From 8.88€…

    If you liked this article, feel free to support my writing with buymeacoffee 🙂

  • Self-Validation a portal to ultimate power

    People like to get recognition from others, they like to look up to someone and get a positive return. People love to ask for validation from others. Though, these people also turn sour quickly when they don’t get the validation they expect. What does this mean then?

    We often hear that in order to get something, we have to no longer need it or want it. If we’re no longer seeking that something, we’ve either let go, or we’ve found it somehow. In other words, we no longer desire it, because we’ve achieve it or better.

    When we go through life seeking other peoples approval and validation of what we do, we give them the equivalent power of the directors cut. We allow them to define if what we do is good or not. And if we go a step further, we get to observe that – and in the words of Steve Jobs- “the world is made up of people who are no smarter than you.”

    Essentially, seeking other peoples approval is -most of the time at least- handing power over to someone who knows shit about what you’re seeking to achieve. Would you let your 5 year old kid decide what type of car or the next decision in your million or billion dollar business? I’m pretty sure that 99% of us would say a clear and affirmative ‘No!’, because a 5 year old has no idea of the outcome, responsibility, of the effect of said decision and what’s more they don’t have a clue about what you want.

    I’d say the answer to this is to show the kind of idea (vision board) to the person who you’re seeking validation from, and you might get a comparison validation. Though, that’s not the point. Most of us have expectations and the people we’re seeking out to validate the recognition of our standards are pretty far off if not worlds away from even having a clue about what we want.

    We’re the only one’s able to validate if, or not, what we’re (doing, producing, expressing) has any resemblance to the vision we have in mind. Why not be the sole person to decide if it matches or if its good enough?

    If you liked this article, feel free to support my writing with buymeacoffee 🙂

  • How headphones dysregulate our inner ear, sense of balance, and ultimately our physical mechanics

    I’ve been pondering whether or not I should write this for a while now, and as time goes on, my finding seems to have increasing evidence as to why we shouldn’t use music while we run and why we should ultimately train music free.

    For starters, let’s talk about inner dialog and influence. Our inner dialog is important, our inner thoughts and observances, our ideas and so on, tend to be harmoniously adjusted to the speed and mood we have when plodding along the country lanes. When listening to music, our thoughts are influenced by the style of music we’re listening to. We’re somewhat pulled into someone elses field of being rather than our own. I’d nearly go to the extent of saying that we’d need to create our own music just to be in sync with ourselves. Though, despite that, we really do lack the fortification of our inner dialog. When we’re faced with it and only it, it becomes a lot more important for us to entertain an optimistic outlook, and hopeful “what if I could…?” and a clear vision of what we want to do while remaining clearly aware and responsive to our body and breathing. The quality of our fortified mind determines the quality of our runs, our energy and ultimately our well-being.

    Balance. Running on habit. Running without headphones allows us to listen to our body, to our thoughts, and even to sync up with what is around us in a harmonious way. This last element is important, because while we listen to music, we become unaware of how we’re forcing our bodies to ‘press on’ despite driving them in a brutish manner. Not to mention the dysregulation of our inner ear and balance, this is the extent of why we drive our bodies in such a brutish manner. We’re essentially following a musical pattern that isn’t our own. This might work for dance choreographies, but for running its a big NO. Dancing is somewhat versatile, while running is a very repetitious action of one foot in front of the other. In a way, we have to be light footed and flexible, using our natural body dynamics.
    All of that goes out the door when we have loud pounding music ‘forcing’ us onward.
    Worse still, setting the forced momentum aside, is the lack of insight and empathy we have for our bodies while we run. We will get messages from our body. And our knee’s will lock, because we’re not listening!

    Breathing, breathing patterns, and personal rhythms. When running, over the years, be that through long-distance trail runs, sprints or outpacing my friends on the soccer pitches, … I recalled the breathing patterns (3 in mouth, 1 long nose in, 3 long out / 4 rapid in nose, 2 long mouth out, …) chest patterns (How my lungs feel when I’m taking long strides? How capable I am when I’m sprinting? Am I sticking the chest out or am I pressing downward on my abdomen? …) and leg patterns (outward to in in rapid succession, long reaching outward strides, tiny but rapid tiptoes, or slow relaxed, recovery type running?). I had discarded all of this and was no longer paying attention (No wonder I felt winded, tired, and had knee pain!), to how I felt, to what my body was capable of, to what my breathing intake capacity was, I was simply pushing onwards to the beats in my ears.

    Lack of special awareness. When running, or even cycling, I often found myself looking behind me as if paranoid suddenly and my general feeling was that of fear. Was someone or something behind me? If we can’t hear, we have to physically check, we’re disadvantaged.
    This also plays into our internal sense of balance, when we have headphones on our voice goes tiny because we don’t want to speak too loud, and we thus seem to lack confidence when we utter a ‘Hello’ to someone at the gym or anywhere else. This is also an effect of numbing our senses and heightening a feeling, thus cutting us off from reality for a while. It’s as if we’re in a bubble, and that bubble prevents us from treading each pace correctly.
    When running at night (with headphones and music), I’d often make a false stride or feel the need to turn around ‘just in case’ something or someone was there which is a weird sensation of fear that prevents our energy from flowing properly. Though, when running at night without headphones or music, my runs are peaceful, relaxed, and my strides never miss the mark, fear doesn’t even occur because I’m aware of what is around me. The same goes for the intensity of my pounding, without headphones each stride is perfectly balanced and proportionate to the weight distributed to that leg. But when listening to music, my strides are heavier and less balanced, its less a poetic dance between the roads and I than it is a brutish spartiate thirst to conquer the road. One is a friend to your knee’s, the other is out to kill them…

    Fake motivation, like caffein, leads to a crash, a lack of personal momentum. When we’re running with music, something strange occurs. We settle into the beat and forget everything else, despite our bodies screaming at us and our lungs being overinflated or under-oxygenated due to the stress of pushing to the speed of the music. Although, as this happens we’re less privy to our thoughts, although we can hear them with music, they’re subtly influenced by the tone of the music. Ever tried listening to sad violin or piano while sitting in front of a window on a rainy day? How about turning on some Jazz to go with a piping hot cup of tea? The mood changes instantaneously doesn’t it? Yet, despite being in control of our thoughts, our feelings colour the perception of our thoughts thus tugging them one way or another. When we listen to elevated beat counts such as anything over 100 bpm, we tend to desync from our natural pattern and sync up to the creator of the song, the track, and how it resonates with us, thus making us feel one way or another.
    Before we know it, we’re off to the races, except we’ve left our baseline state behind.

    Baseline energy. When we depend on music to get motivation, our energy resonates with that dependency and we then need that musical high to get us motivated. And I’m pretty sure that the level of our energy is only in relation to our base state, so if we continually depend on music to amp us up, when we have no music in our ears we feel empty, and everything seems boring or even monotone. This is a major problem, it’s similar to the dopamine hits an addict gets when they force their way to get to the high. Except, after a while, they dysregulate their baseline sense of normalcy, thus creating a lack of comfort in the mundane everyday occurrences. This is a form of contrast which is uncomfortable to be in, which brings the individual to seek more stimulation in order to ‘feel alive’. When running without music, our thoughts, our mood and our breathing patterns are joined, thus creating a rhythm of thought that drives us onward, in a motivated way. Have you ever tried forcing yourself to do something when you’re unhappy or even angry? Right… you also know that when you force things, they often break. When going for a run, we’re driven by a mood and thought process and running without music allows us to strengthen our baseline optimism in a way running with music doesn’t.

    Virtuous dynamic. When running with open ears, we create a virtuous circle, as we combine having the right balance, the right breathing patterns, propper balance, and fortification of our internal motivational dialogue.

    Vicious dynamic. When running with hyper-stimulating kinds of music, while imbibing substances such as coffee, we essentially dysregulate our bodies natural capacity to a) create energy to thrive off of, b) we become dependant on some external form of stimulus to do most anything, c) our energy suffers as a consequence and so does our mental health, d) we end up pushing and forcing our bodies to adapt to the rhythm of the music, e) we dysregulate our inner ear, thus becoming unbalanced and unaware of the impact, the pace, and the dynamic of our body on the roads.

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  • Discomfort in solitude or Doorway to infinite potential?

    Are you alone? Good, I want you to listen to me. I have something to say…

    How does one overcome the feeling of aloneness? Is it the acceptation of here and now? Is it ceasing to reject the emotion? Contemplating that we are alone, friendless, cut off and isolated. Comparing that where one once had friends, the friends have moved on and now its just us. Face to face with ourself, the feelings, the fears, the shortcomings, our faulty projections… it all tends to come out and it sits there next to us quietly.

    Solitude tends to confront us with our limitations and inadequacies. It shows us our flaws. Hence why we must watch our thoughts when we’re alone, because that’s when we’re the most vulnerable. Though, that’s also where we can find real power… You see, it’s when we embrace the discomfort of being alone that our creativity comes up to the surface. I like to call it confidence, because it’s where I feel most confident.

    It’s that space where I’m totally undefined by the world, where my creative potential is fully ignited. It’s the space where vision and all future possibilities become possible. Nowhere else on earth is it possible to access that space but while I’m alone after stepping through the threshold of discomfort into a universe of full potential. It’s where I can Flow, it’s where I can project, it’s where I can mould my future.

    Most people get uncomfortable and reach out to a friend, go for a walk, find someone to fill the gap, but those people miss out on the invisible door of potential that lies somewhere tucked between Mr Discomforts house and Solitude alley. Similar to King’s Cross – Platform 9 3/4 in Harry potter. It’s a little place camouflaged by fear and doubt. Funnily enough, J.K. Rowling most probably embraces this same gateway, just as other writers and creatives.

    It’s within this space that all creation can take place, its where energy is transformed into magic. It’s where flow comes out to play and the world around ceases to exist. It’s you and you and there’s nothing to be afraid of. Like Inception, ideas are created and in the background, worlds are formed.

    Like “The Butterfly Effect”, the creation and harmonization of our thoughts right here create changes on the other side of the world. Just by thinking, we are shifting the world around us and forming our relationships with others.

    In this space of full potential unlimited possibilities present themselves and like playdoe we shape them into the circumstances. Our vision serves as an inner blueprint for the external world, it’s the reel from which the movie is played. By changing the sequence and the meaning of images we change the story we project. It’s in those moments of projection that we convince and confirm our beliefs, thus setting in motion actions. We are Gods in human form, and we don’t even have to close our eyes. So long that we’re aware of how we feel and we’re able to let go of the tough nitty gritty feelings we tend to latch onto, we can shape our life through the realm of full potential.

    I know… I’m starting to sound like Deepak Chopra. Yes, perhaps. Although, I believe that he’s found what I’ve found, and that we’re talking about the same thing. The channelling of divine energy towards the materialisation in reality via the medium of vision supported by conscious thought.

    The vast array of possibilities only opens up once we can accept our present NOW and fully embrace it. All becomes available to us when we stop fighting against the imaginary pain that could be and start envisioning the extent of all that could go right.

    The funny thing about this quote is that it’s not the actual falling or actual flying that we need to worry about, it’s the envisioning and allocation of mental resources to falling or flying. We must mind the gap between our desires, fears and become conscious of what we repeat. Imagine you stop thinking about something and never think about it again, and suddenly, that repetitious even comforting comfort-zone of a thought is gone; you just shifted your thoughts towards something new. In the words of the old American Indian sages, “Which wolf are you feeding?”

    Often we complain about our lives and point a finger at how “something” keeps on happening to us, and then we go back to thinking the same thoughts and wonder why these events happen. It’s a direct consequence type of effect.

    Instead of complaining about what is happening in our reality, we should become conscious about where we are spending our thought-time. What are we spending time thinking about and why are we focussed on the worst case scenario when we should be feeding the best case scenario? Why are we sitting here complaining about things not happening when we could be taking action towards all the possibilities that could be available if we only lifted a hand and reached out to take it.

    On a less action-type note, questioning our assumptions, convictions, and beliefs and understanding that nothing is written in stone, especially if its “written” in the mind. Taking the time to ponder the validity of a thought, even though we initially reject it, is a great doorway to changing or undoing that very thought, however crystalized it is.

    The key is sitting alone with the feeling, accepting it for what it is; essentially embracing it. It’s in that intimate space between you and you that the doorways of creation between your belly and your crown chakra open. Once you’ve decided that fear is no longer an issue, once you’re ready to give up any power it has over you, once limbo no longer has anything on you, once you’re okay with the idea of dying to your own fear. Suddenly, fear lets go and you’re freed to access your full power.

    Are you afraid of your infinite potential?

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  • Great news!

    Hello friends!

    I just published a new cover for my hardcover book,
    I hope you like:

    If you have any recommendations, I’d love to hear from you.

    All the best,
    Cherokee Goldberg

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  • DRIVE: How to be driven and blessed

    The taste of defeat in the real world is your fuel. The truth is, most people who grow up in the “civilised world” don’t know what it means to be down and out. Because they don’t get to experience pain. They’re coddled and protected by parents, then by money, then by friends and so on. Why do I say this?

    Growing up in a civilised world, where at least one of your parents worked, where you go to school as an obligation, where your parents have cars, and your grand parents and parents have a house that is payed off. Growing up in a society where you have minimum wage dole systems, health care to support your ill health, and where you have the possibility of getting a grant to study in a University. All of this is sort of a cocoon. We’re quick to point at how shameful it is, or step away from the people who are on minimum wage dole systems as if they were lepers who could make us poor overnight. As a society there is a communal shame to be poor or dependent on the government in order to ‘survive‘. We never get to experience the sheer dread of not knowing when the next meal will be, not knowing if we’ll die because the cold night ahead, not knowing if we’ll be homeless, not knowing the next time we’ll be “lovable” (because of the power money yields over individuals capacity to see value in each other), not knowing truly if we’ll ever be valued again…

    But what if we got to experience the world our grand parents our great grand parents had to experience or even the medieval times before any sort of social support could even be thought of. What would the sheer contrast show us?

    I’ve been thinking, and too many of our generation are clueless as to what it is to really suffer, or what it means to be poor, or what it means to be down and out. Most of us, at least in the civilized world, live in a bubble of illusion that we can’t fail, that we can’t experience a worse form of existence if we fuck up.

    Too many spoilt kids in this generation feel as if they have no clue what it is they want to do, have no sense of motivation, and on top of that feel entitled to everything. They talk about lack of purpose, lack of vision and go about life as if nothing bad could ever happen. In a way, it’s true, they’re protected by their parents. But this protection has a dark side; “If you never experience how harsh the world can be, because mommy and daddy are always there to support you and bail you out of your stupidities, you don’t learn to keep a cool head and focus on the basics.

    In high-school, I too had this lack of purpose, lack of drive, and didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I saw all my friends and peers around me moving on to better brighter things and I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew I couldn’t rely on my academia and felt I wasn’t able to rely on what I had learned up until then. And for good reason too, I somehow floated from primary school to university of Law without studying too much and then felt a sort of imposter syndrome. My life felt like a house of cards. I felt like an imposter everywhere I went and needed a sort of mask to hide the fact that I was deeply insecure. The jobs I landed, somehow reflected my privilege and advantage I had because I was born into a society, being white, having health, being somewhat good looking, and of course the invisible advantages to have studied, and hobnobbed with friends of higher socio-economic value than my intimate social circle. I didn’t feel like I deserved any of it. I was living a lie, and I wasn’t confident that I was the one from whom everything happening for me originated. A deep casm seemed to live between where I physically was, and what I was able to produce from my own thinking capacity. For some reason, the world around me saw me as somewhat successful, as if I was like them, as if I deserved and had worked my ass off to be there. And yet, I couldn’t really take credit for where I was. I’d passed my diplomas by the skin of my teeth, and somehow got into positions through friends, or through the gift of the gab, which is a fulfilling thing. But in no way, could I be considered deserving. Why?

    Because I was living on the first story of a house of cards, of appearances, of benefits and privileges, all of which was of fragile architecture and construct. None of it was my making.
    Or if I did manage gettinng into situations, I was in them because of 1) how I looked, 2) where I had been, 3) who I knew, 4) what I seemed to have achieved, 5) sheer influence. The main problem with this, and I will say this as many times as you need, is that it creates a Shell of appearances that we can benefit from, up until the moment we realise that we don’t actually have any speciality, any skills we can rely on. This is a major problem as it clearly puts us in positions where we ourselves feel like an imposter (because we didn’t work to get where we were), everything feels too easy (there’s no challenge, we don’t have to work for anything and so don’t value what we get as a result), we can’t produce anything but talk (which leaves us with hot air and little else), but also has an effect on those around us if we cannot live up to the standard they see in us, or if we don’t live up to the image that we portray.

    When the shit hits the fan, and it will at some point in your life if you’re living through The Shell without personal development, you will reach a crossroads at which you will have to choose. To become a fake person, who manipulates, uses, and ponces off others, or to destroy the falsity about you, to discard what is not you, what is illusion and cut the crap, essentially deconstructing what isn’t what you are and what isn’t a product of you.

    If you’re like me, you choose the latter.

    I decided to live a contrast to my actual life, that was so deeply painful, disturbing, contrasting and contradictory that I couldn’t help but reject what I wasn’t. Oftentimes, we believe that we can change because we want to. We only change when we don’t have a choice but to change. And we change because what we are is so intolerable to be that we have no choice in the matter but to become something else. In my perspective, I needed to create a deep amount of pain to associate to what I was in order to become something else later on.

    When I had my crossroads moment, I felt I had to pick the hard path, the sinuous path of torture and difficulty. I’d have to go through some pain. Obviously, I’d have to crack open my ego, face illusions, undo what wasn’t me, and face my inadequacies over and over. At first, I harshly rejected reality. It took me a while to accept that I had built nothing but illusion and I needed hard proof to share with the world. I needed to be able to produce something of value that emanated from me.

    After my deconstruct, which took me through multiple difficult and embarrassing situations, I realised something. I was going to have to go back to square one and start over from scratch. This is a painful realisation to have, but also a freeing one, one devoid of lies, one devoid of illusions and appearances to upkeep. As if putting down a mountain, we let go of the weight we carry around and embrace the possibility of building a life on firm foundations. It’s a second chance, to acknowledge that we only have one life. So we must give everything we have right now to build what we’re striving for.

    Starting at my beginnings again, with the added help of my loving mother, I was able to go through metamorphosis and focus on a new path to take. One that would include learning to look at my inadequacies in academia and wonder where I could better fortify my basics again. I decided to go back to the basics in math, as well as learn an entirely new skillset and universe. I decided to become someone else, or another version of myself, more real, based on real hard work, on repetition, on good habits and vision. And I built my life up from nothing.

    We don’t choose to change, we can only choose to let go of what we no longer are and when we let go, we embrace the possibility to become something entirely new. The idea of choice and control over our circumstances is but illusion in the face of a new world manifesting around us in relation to our thoughts and beliefs. The truth is, we let go of what is no longer us, and we are attracted like a moth to flame to a new subject matter to express what we are. Imbibed in a new universe, we develop in a whole new way and become, in the process, a better version of who we are by shedding the onion skins we no longer need.

    Each time we strive, we’re seeking that new subject matter that will help us crack the next layer, because despite the impression that it is all desire and we’re going towards something that will help us achieve a desire or a way of being or whatever, we’re actually striving for something we believe will help us to get to the heart of the matter: us, and what makes us tick so well that we can’t help but lead others by example, and help them as a result of our existence.

    Without going through the torture of breaking down the house of cards, without deconstructing our illusions, without being homeless, jobless, friendless, loveless, moneyless,… without going through those experiences, it’s near impossible for us to experience a genuine knowledge of what it means to be fulfilled in every single one of those areas.

    When it comes to defeat, it’s only when we find ourselves in front of a wall that we discover our ingenuity, the depth of creative insights, the extent of our ability to surpass any obstacles in our wake. When we fail over and over, we get to experience a form of immunity and develop a confidence in ourselves, that despite anything that is happening, we’re insensitive to the fact we failed. It allows us to desensitise to what no longer matters, so we can extract the pure essence of learning out of those situations, and in due course use it to become the better version of ourselves.

    After writing this article, I can state without a shed of a doubt that had I not experienced true poverty, loss, fear, actual danger, rejection and being confronted and brought back to my actual reality, I would not have the deep motivation that I currently have to never ever go through that type of experience ever again. [THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE REAL DEAL STUFF THAT DRIVES US: the emotional reference I have within my heart and nervous system as a result of experiencing utmost failure ] And thanks to this emotional reference I have within, I am deeply driven to take action towards the future I desire, in contrast to the reality I don’t want to ever experience again. This is my point of leverage over everyone else in our civilised society. I have an obsessive nature, and pain is the flame that keeps it going, not because I desire pain, but because the pain reminds me of what I no longer want.
    The expression HELL-bent comes to mind. We are bent – obsessively I’ll add- by the painful flames of hellish existence towards the construction of a personal paradise of our own making.

    The hard part of my life is the real advantage I have over those I meet. It’s the stuff that gets me up, that makes me work hard, that drives me on well into the night when others are giving up. The hard part of my life is what gives me the patience and the optimism to keep on going because anything else in contrast to what I have been through is easy and worth doing. Because the hard things in our life give us a sense of nuance, we get to experience more harmonious and balanced lives. It’s because of a harsh past that we create a beautiful future…

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  • Eliminate all stimulus (to fix runners knee and lack of energy)

    I’ve been running since I was 7 months old, this is no joke. While other kids spent their time crawling around I was running off to some unknown corner of the room. Needless to go too much in to my past to say that I’ve been running for a long while and so I’ve also been able to observe how my body feels and what works best (for me at least).

    As a teenager I started running long distance as a result of wanting to clear up my acne, my name being Cherokee ( my mother was inspired by the American-indians running hundreds of miles on cocoa leaves) and as a result of my Gym teacher saying that we reach our peak at the age of 23 – 25. This got me running, I wanted to expand my energy, I wanted to clean up my skin, and above all I wanted to be loved. Running was the medium.

    I was the fastest runner in school, and then on the soccer team, and then on the running team in high-school. This gave me a degree of pride and confidence. I had something that others didn’t have. I’d train for years on the soccer team and this created great endurance and stamina which seemed to give me an edge.

    Then, one day, around my 20’s, I went off to another town to work as an adult. Certainly if I had money, I’d be my own man and all… I worked for a prestigious jeweller, and on the side I’d run every night for an hour or so. Though, around this time, I started to notice that my recovery was slower than before. I wasn’t that old, in fact it made no sense. My body wasn’t recovering quick enough anymore and I was starting to feel more and more tired every time I went for a run. So I started to drink coffee, this gave me a high that was useful for selling jewellery to lost women who needed to feel special about themselves. My sales scores got a sudden boost. All the while, I was feeling more and more depleted. I just couldn’t recover.

    Then I reached burnout, knee block, and gave up running for around 5 years. I tried off and on to see if I could and my knee had repaired itself magically, but always had inflammation after a long run, so I ended gave up as a result of there being no explanation for my knee pain. In scans everything looked clean, and if I rested sufficiently, I could then run pain free for a while.

    After about 7 years of losing this key part to my identity, because lets face it I derived my confidence from this proud and majestic feat of nature of being faster and more powerful than the kids around me, I decided to strive once more. Driven by nothing other than optimism that the body can heal its self if we heal the mind and gut.

    So, I started working out at the gym and strengthening my knee, stretching it and applying stretches I usually wouldn’t do and I discovered some interesting insights.

    1. My knee hurts because my abdomen is weak and my gluts are too.
    2. My knee hurts because my inner tendons aren’t stretched and are weak from over exertion.
    3. Caffeine prevents us from having natural energetic distribution throughout the body.
    4. Listening to music prevents us from running at our natural rhythm.
    5. The second effect of not being able to listen to our natural rhythm is not listening to our breath.
    6. Not listening to our breath means we get tired more easily.
    7. There are specific running postures we develop with music that aren’t healthy

    Removing coffee, sugar and music from our life allows for a natural running cadence, a personal breathing Tone, a natural running posture/mechanics, a better mindset, a more optimistic outlook, and longer runs based on our breathing rhythms.

    Upon this discovery, my knee pain went away my mood improved, and I developed and I became more stable.

    When we listen to music, it changes our mood, and we adapt to it. It hypes us up, sets the mood, makes us melodramatic or nostalgic. Whatever it is, music has a deep influence over how we feel. It’s not surprising so many of us depend on it to go running or use it during out workouts. From bodybuilders, to long distance runners, to cyclists and so on.

    Why we shouldn’t use music to find motivation, especially in the case of running.

    Using music (or stimulus) to create motivation. In and of its self, this is a problem. It means we’re seeking something outside of ourselves, external to our discipline or inspiration or intrinsic motivation and it then drives us. If you don’t see the key problem with this, I’ll explain. As human beings we thrive on going at our own rhythm, we hate being told what to do, and we certainly prefer natural ways over artificial ways. When we are self-motivated to go do something, we are carried by excitement and even a degree of joy for the activity we’re about to engage in. When we’re seeking out something to give us a boost, we’re pushing and pulling for a result rather than getting to it on our own. We are stressing ourselves, and when we stress ourselves (through music, peer pressure, coffee, or even drugs) we eventually weaken ourselves.

    It’s the relation between an angry fighter and a relaxed fighter. It’s the relation between flowing and friction. It’s forced rather than desired. We want the end result so much that we seek something to produce a shortcut to get there. Going back to the basics allows us to re-establish our breathing, our energy and our running posture, and that I fully believe will remove your knee pain. While running without any music (I’d been running with music since the end of high-school), I’ve found that my knee pain doesn’t work because I’m listening to my body, and because of that my strides are different, my breathing techniques are different and my energy and outlook are more upbeat and positive because I’m not relaying on an external stimulation to run faster or slower (despite being tired).

    When getting over addiction, there are 4 letters that we need to be aware of. H. A. L. T.
    Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, and Tiredness: HALT. The reason we get pulled into addiction again is because of an uncomfortable state, and we seek our coping mechanisms when one of these HALT states comes up. That and feeling powerless. Now, when it comes to addiction, the high we can get from running can also count. Hence why I’d run for hours at a high intensity, runners high is a healthy high and exercise is even prescribed by doctors! So, how could I be an addict?!

    It’s about the Low / High dynamic. When we seek to experience a high, it’s always in contrast to a Low feeling. The low feeling can be described as numbness, or little energy, or friction, or lack of momentum, or doubt, and even lack of confidence. And we want to create a contrast at any cost (this is the problem, we end up paying that cost), so we end up seeking coffee to experience a boost of energy, we end up listening to music to “Alter” our mind, we seek out sugar to get a little dopamine. Simply because the state we are in right now is Slow, boring, uneventful, calm, monotone, DEPRESSING. But that speaks thousand fold to me, we don’t want to feel depressed and low, so we control it at any cost.

    Even though, feeling the slow, the boring, the uneventful and even the depression are the keys to healing, resting, and growing. We need the downtime to rest our bodies, our minds, our nervous systems from the constant highs. And there are highs everywhere. We’re surrounded by a society offering stimulants and numbing agents, and quick fix solutions.
    But we don’t want to go through the slow, the boring, the uneventful, the monotone or the depressing, because its uncomfortable.

    We don’t want to listen to our bodies, because then we’d have to acknowledge that we’re flawed, unperfect, and even human. And humans aren’t robots, they can’t knock out results over and over without suffering the effects it has. The top performers don’t say it, but they go through stuff, they have pains, they have to do hours of cryotherapy and so on to heal the brute force workouts they endure. It’s not because they have a great public image smile and have great PR managers that they don’t go through wear and tear. They just mask it well.

    We don’t want to listen to our bodies, and we’d rather force ourselves to perform, because we don’t want to face the inevitability that we’re weak, that we’re vulnerable, that we’re imperfect and need to not be the greatest for a while. Its okay to just rest and let the dust settle for once. We’re so afraid of being unproductive, of not being in first position, of not being amped up, jacked up, caffeinated and full of performance drugs, supplements, and protein smoothies. The idea of being inept, weak or unproductive comes as a threat. The tribe will ostracize me and see me as useless! I’ll get left behind! I’ll die! I have to be the rainmaker! I have to run faster and further than Tony… and so on.

    What’s more, going through those low states is what allows us to be able to perform in the high states, its what allows us to restore our bodies to full capacity. Without feeling low, our highs just aren’t as high… Take a f**king break once in a while, stop feeling guilty and above all stop amping up your body to get energy. We get energy as a result of being excited about something and if what we’re doing isn’t excited anymore, no amount of coffee, music or supplements is going to give us the excitement we need. We might produce an artificial reminder, but once if we’re not getting there naturally, after a while our body will give us a big bright red light: fuck this I’m suspending leg function for a while! Our bodies have thousands of years of evolution built in and we don’t have the readers manual. It’s time to go back to basics and cut the new-age crap of over-stimulation.

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  • To set one’s self apart, like the tortoise and the hare.

    I’ve always believed that we need to become so unique that we become irreplaceable and then we need to succeed. This was what my grand masterplan was based on years ago when I decided to break up with my girlfriend and try to become the most singular version of myself that no one could copy. Obviously, looking back, no one could copy who I was back then, because they couldn’t be who I was, though I couldn’t see that and decided to go the extra mile or 50 to set myself apart from anyone who’d want to copy me.

    When you’re successful people copy you no matter what, its a fact of life. All smartphone providers today have copied the one phone that actually changed the game: the iPhone.
    The same is true of people, when you go through a singular process to set yourself apart, you pick up quirks, and ways of thinking that distinguish your mindset from anyone else’s.
    You may give talks and tips and tricks, but no one can be you, even if they emulate you, because the depth and singularity you develop through your journey defines you as an individual. And if you’re lucky enough, you get to suffer enough that no person on earth can emulate your unique traits: and then you stick out for the right reasons.

    This isn’t solely a way to define yourself, its a way to distinguish yourself from everyone else in the game. And when you do succeed in any way, build a business, get some spotlight and so on, people will inevitably want to do like you do, because they see you as a lighthouse while they’re crossing their stormy seas.

    When you create something, the idea is to build your product, your output around YOU,
    and by doing so you define the product uniquely, so much so that any copies of what you do fail as bland fakes like those Louis Vuitton bags you see along the streets on the way to the beach in Barcelona.

    Becoming the real deal and doing the defining work that no one else is prepared to do will reward you bucket loads down the line: see the challenge as an opportunity, as a gift, because it fortifies you and creates difference that sets you apart later on in the game.

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  • SWAP Identification values: how to achieve your dreams with rocket fuel

    It all started with a crazy idea I had in high-school…

    I lacked motivation, I didn’t know how to achieve what I wanted, and I had no incentive to go and get what I wanted anyway. I read the Secret and repeated over and over in conscious fashion ‘I want to be rich‘, ‘I want this and that‘…. yada yada yada.

    I then figured out something that no one will ever tell you. In fact, this is something I figured out solely on an intuitive level. So, here we go:

    1. You have to define something which will make you grow. A pain seeking identity you’ll come to love. You have to have an aim which will make you go through so much pain that, everything else in comparison becomes a joy to do. You have to learn to love the pain you go through to the point that you have to make a conscious decision to let go of the personal identification that pulls you towards the outcome of seeking pain.

    2. You have to actually go through the pain. This will expand you on so many levels. But it will hurt like a m*ther f*cker. I’m not going to lie to you. You will go through hell to get to the other side. But I garantee you, if you go through your personal hell, you will come out the other side with rocket fuel to achieve your dreams.

    3. While going through the pain, you expand. You must also learn to appreciate the pain you’re seeking. This will build up resilience and a certain degree of patience, but also a whole new perspective on doing things once you come out the other side.

    4. Once you’ve gone through the process, once you’ve expanded, and you’ve come to love the pain you’re going through. It’s time to let go. You must learn to let go of the identity that is no longer serving you. You’ve outgrown the shell that has served as your master, who you’ve been a slave to during your painful expansion.

    5. The pain identity you’ve been living through is high value to you. But this is good, because as it’s high value, the trade off will also be of high-value. Imagine, you purchased bitcoin when it was only 0.10cents and then went through all the highs and lows associated. Along the way you grew with your coin, emotionally you went through stress, you went through elation and so on. And then Bitcoin reached 40000€ and you decided to sell that Bitcoin against a house or land or something you perceive as equal value.

    6. Divest yourself from your investment in identity. For example, my investment was in my identity, I became something which was so painful to be that I couldn’t not experience pain, difficulty, embarrassment: expansion… Though, once I divested from this identity my personal vessel had expanded so much that what comes next is child play next to what I had been through. You must be ready to let go of something in exchange for what you want. What are you willing to let go of for your dream? It’s an exchange.

    7. Your new north star of identity. Once you’ve been through the process, you’ve expanded, you’ve learned to love what you are despite it being painful, uncomfortable, miserable etc. Then you can now determine a new north-star. Your identity, if you stop forcing yourself, is like an elastic band, it goes back to its epicentre once you stop tugging. You have to settle for a while in order to let go. But once you’ve defined that your prior painful identity is no longer serving you, once you’ve reached rock bottom, all you can do is go upwards. Your now “empty” vessel (from having been through so much pain), is now ready to learn, to be filled up. You’re now ready to get what you want. You’re now ready to fly.

    8. Once you’ve defined what you want. You must associate all the possible pleasures that you can to the new north star you’re aiming for. The journey must be hard, but it doesn’t matter, because no matter how hard it may seem, it won’t be as hard as was what you’ve been through, especially if you chose to go through pain as I did. The thing is, when you go through pain, you can’t help but experience life as easy afterwards. And so your difficult is now fluid and easy, even enjoyable, where other peoples difficult is painful because of what they have associated to it.

    9. Go all in, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You will succeed, because you are fully immersed in your path to greatness, and you will lead the way with grace because your new north star is nothing but pleasure. Even patience has become a benefit, you don’t even focus on the task as waiting for the time to pass, you actually want more time because your immersion in your new hard task, your new ambitious task is nothing but sheer joy. The contrast of Hell has helped you to experience the hardships of life as nothing but joy.

    If you want greatness, you must be willing to swap something (you percieve/feel) is of equal value. You must be willing to give up your old self if you’re to pursue your new, improved and unlimited self. But if you’re not ready to give up what you are, how can you expect to be what you want?

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  • If I only had…
    … is insecurity.

    We think the outcome will make us more as if it holds something out of reach. If only we had it -this thing or circumstance- life would be better.

    A few years ago, I met up with friends from a long time ago. Friends from an era when I played video games. Of course, everything I’ve been through somehow changes my perception of the same place we grew up in and the experiences we’ve all been through.
    Though, somehow, the perceptions I developped give me no choice than to associate my current circumstances very differently than I used to, differently than they still perceive their circumstances. I’m not better, they’re not worse, just different. Less compatible than we used to be. Anyhow…

    The people around me made me feel inferior, or I felt inferior by spending time around them for some reason and felt I needed to somehow catch up and make up for lost time. As I hadn’t been playing video games for the last 10 years, and they had. My skill wasn’t what it used to be. Somehow in the mix, I felt I needed to purchase the most powerful computer. Thinking that somehow that I’d reach a degree of recognition for a tool that would set me apart.

    Upon receiving this shiny new computer, my skills suddenly surfaced, my level got better, and I could compete. Only as my mindset had changed since back in the day, I no longer had the desire to compete, and the act of gaming didn’t turn out to be as appealing as it used to.
    As the games had lost their appeal, because I’m no longer seeking to escape reality, each game became a little weight in my conscience. A little act I should no longer be doing

    After a while, I just found the whole process to be tiring and unproductive. The tool I made excuses for, It’ll make me more productive, I’ll be able to produce better quality renders on 3D,… and so on, also lost it’s allure. Suddenly I started to perceive the things I owned as owning me. Preventing me from moving on. Stifling my creative progress.

    Of course, it’s a nice tool to have, but pointless. What I really need, is to upgrade my skillset, not my tools. And so, I decided to sell this shiny new pc and go back to solely using my macbook.

    While I’m packing this piece of advanced technology up, I can’t help but recognise that the strength I wanted to develop wasn’t going to upgrade by getting a better processor or more ram, but simply by working out. The limitations I felt, regardless of my hardware, could only be overcome by surpassing them, not by changing the tools I have to confront them.

    Though, on a small scale example, the Lamborghini, the yacht, the helicopter, the billion euro account, the hottest girl in school or on social media all loose their allure a little. The allure goes away and all that is left is who I get to become while attaining those things.

    Who do I get to become while making myself strong in the gym?
    Who do I get to become while becoming a billionaire?
    Who do I get to become to date that girl?

    The answer is that it’s not the finality that is important, it’s not the outcome that we’re seeking for. It is the effort that we’re attracted by. Not merely the effort to obtain, but how we get to grow and surpass ourselves to obtain. The process.

    We all want to transmute our current circumstances, our current situation, but most of us never stop to realise that we don’t need better tools, what we want is better skills, a better output, a better mindset, a better potential. And the only way to achieve that, is to invest more in ourselves than our circumstances.

    Which brings me to the Ferrari. We never stop at a red light and think: “How cool is that guy driving the car?”, we think “How cool would I be, if I had that car!?” Status and recognition. We’re ultimately seeking for recognition and materialisation and confirmation for the inner potential we know so well and live with on a daily basis. What we want is for others to see that potential because we hate being seen as lesser than we are. But let me tell you one truth, the people around you who can’t see your potential or skill, won’t see it because their potential, their mindset, their limitations, won’t allow them to perceive everything that you are. This is why you have to be around people who CAN see your potential, because they know their potential, and their mindset and limitations don’t prevent them from seeing everything that you are. This is why successful people flock together, they mirror each other to greatness.

    Successful people don’t spend time with unsuccessful people, because unsuccessful people mirror back inefficiency and lack back to them and as they’re human beings too, they have their own flaws and insecurities. In fact, I believe that some of the richest people in the world live in fear of losing their fortune. I suppose its the people around them who support their successes and protect their emotions who enable them to continue aiming higher.

    Anyhow, you don’t need that thing you think you need. You need to develop your confidence.

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  • Life and its seasons

    There are 525960 minutes in 100 years. And on earth there are 7.753 billion people.
    According to these numbers, if we wanted to pay attention to each and every single person on earth during those 100 Years, we’d need to see 14639 per minute (thats 292797 in a 20 hour day).

    So, forgive me for asking, but why on earth do you think you think you need to pay attention to just one, or get caught up on social media watching other peoples videos? You simply DO NOT HAVE THE TIME to waste.

    Now that is, if we were all to live to 100. Some of us will die before, some after perhaps. In 100 years, there are only a handful of people who will be destined to you. No matter how much you might want to meet everyone, you won’t get the chance, nor have the time to do so.

    In 100 years, we have 525960 minutes of time, with which we must learn to speak, walk, learn, unlearn, love, undo our emotional scars, comprehend how we function, distinguish ourselves from everyone else, find what is similar to everyone else, discover our purpose, learn the skills we need. We’ll also go through all the emotions, the fears, the pains, the hurts, the love, the joy, the happiness, the ignorance, the bliss, the numbness, the rawness, the euphoria… There are times where we’ll feel paralysed, where we’ll feel engaged, where we’ll feel lost.

    On our path we’ll meet certain people we’ll want to stay with for eternity and who’ll go before we’re ready, there are others who don’t go and we can’t get rid of. Some will share our path for a brief moment and remind us why we’re walking, others will pull wool over our eyes. Some will abandon us, and others will make us feel accepted. But, we won’t meet everyone on earth. We’ll meet specific people who make sense to our destiny, we’ll meet people we can learn from. We’ll even meet toxic people who teach us about how to love ourselves. Everyone has a purpose at a different time. As Shakespeare said so well, “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages….”

    So why on earth are we so set on going through pain? Why do we obsess over those who don’t care, who are apathetic? Why do we believe that we need to focus on one single person? Why do we get caught up responding and attracting our emotional patterns despite how much knowledge we have in our heads?

    The head is but a prism through which the heart see’s. We can force our existence to ignore our heart, and be entirely calculated. Which we’ll likely perceive as being “perfect”. But none of us are perfect and will never be, despite how much we try. Our purpose is to live the most honestly through the heart, no matter how messy our existence gets, our heart guides us through the mud, through the snow and the blizzards, towards the sun’s location.
    Our mind accumulates all the things it see’s, all that happens to the body, all the pains the heart goes through, and then tries to make sense of it, despite the world being an entire anarchy of events. The world is pure madness if we don’t perceive it through a prism of our own making.

    In the 100 years here on earth, we must create that prism. The most beautiful one we can, one that is just and patient, one that is fair and helpful, empathetic and kind. A prism which can see the subtleties of life. The good in the bad, and the bad in the good, and “treat those two imposters alike.”

    I’d say that we must focus first and foremost on ourselves during the first years of our life. The reason being that we cannot give to others from an empty cup, or worst still a cup full of anger or stagnant water. We must first fill ourselves up with the best we can, practice the skills that will help others, and in turn we will give the best we can to others so that they can in turn be impressed by the depth of our effort.

    Don’t waste time on people before your time is over. Spend time on yourself, working on yourself, bettering yourself, and even learning from others. But by all means focus on you before. Once you have done that, the world is your oyster and the sky is your limit.

    In numerology there are phases in our life. The first is the one where we learn, then we cultivate, then we reach crop season. These phases in life are about 20 to 30 years. During these times we must solely focus on learning, cultivating or picking the fruits of our labour.
    I’ve spent 30 years cultivating my mindset, learning, and growing. I’m currently transitioning to the cultivating part of my life where the things I’ve learned along the path can be set in motion and applied. In numerology our phases are also marked by an influence.

    “Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.” – Jerzy Gregorek

    Though, despite saying that we do not have the time to waste, we must allocate time to do nothing, where we can let our lands lie fallow so they can repair for the next season. We must waste some time, procrastinating, crying, feeling sorry for ourselves, cleaning our wounds, making sense of the knockout we just experienced, and so on. So don’t pressurize yourself, but by all means be lead by your heart. It speaks the loudest when you’re silent, and makes the most noise when you’re misaligned.

    Our life changes in a matter of seconds once we realize that we can live the life we want to live, that we only have so much time left to live our life and turn it all around. It changes when we realize that we are the captains of our ships and we are the ones choosing our directions.
    Don’t let your time run out, don’t let your flame extinguish. Live a life you’re proud of, one you can claim is your own.

    There is no man above making decisions for you. Nor are there entities out to get you. There are confused people walking on the path, there are mislead people who’ll try to coerce you. But overall the world is full of good people trying to do the best with the hand they have been dealt.

    What are you here to do? What is your purpose? What are your greatest obstacles and pain-points? What would you like to contribute to the world? Are you still spending time focussing on how well others are doing?

    Perhaps it’s time to ask some questions, perhaps its time to seek the right questions…

    Do we really have the time to focus on others?

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  • Would you like to learn how to create anything?

    Have you ever felt that creativity eluded you? That it’s just not for you? That the good life is only for other people?

    Well… I did too. That is until I decided to delve into my depths to understand what was holding me back. When I took the plunge an entire universe opened up to me. Life became exciting, I started to enjoy my creative process. Just as you will.

    Within these pages, I’ve shared with you what holds us back from being creative, what prevents us from clear focus. I’ve also delved into how to get energy and how to channel it towards the outcomes we seek. Then, I share creative processes (step by step) for you to apply them whereever you are. And last but not least, I decided I’d share some bonus content (how to manifest, why The secret doesn’t work, How to master anything, and other goodies but that’s entirely up to you to discover).

    Don’t wait too long, my book is currently at .99$, but it won’t stay this cheap forever. It will go back up to 8.88 at the end of the month, so make sure you cease the opportunity.

    It’s taken me 10 years to understand the principles in this book and 5 years to overcome my limitations to share them with you. And if that wasn’t enough I’ve been through a lot of pain and trouble to comptehend these things. Hopefully, by reading my words I’m saving you from having to go through the pain I went through.

    All the best success, health and wealth,


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  • We’re not actually looking for ourselves

    I think we’re not seeking ourselves, what we’re seeking is a sense of security and when we can’t find that security in material circumstances, we then seek it spiritually, mentally, and physically through some sort of faith, some sort of identity consolidation or by one of the extremes of the body (extreme food, or working out) filling up the void.

    When we’re actually seeking is a sense of security so that we can dream, project ourselves, into new futures, enjoy the moment, or simply build for a better tomorrow. In other words, we are striving to thrive, not to “survive”.

    We want to know that the coast is clear, that its safe for us to come out of our shells and be and say what we have to express. That is when we feel most alive. We want to know that we’ll be loved, accepted and that (there won’t be) no apocalypse is around the corner.

    I’ve spent a long time looking for myself. When funnily enough, I was the one sitting in the chair searching outside of myself for something or someone to confirm what I felt within.
    Rather than looking for ourselves, we’re looking for confirmations, and validations, to create a sense of security. When in fact, what we should be looking for is more experiences to apply our skillsets or learn new ones.

    We’re actually looking for our values, our passion, our interests, who we are and what we want. Then after observing others for a while, we stop looking and start doing.

    In the process of doing, we create ourselves by our decisions, actions, and intentions. What we’re looking for is not ourselves, but the blueprint of ourselves. If you’re anything like I used to be, you like to observe the best practices and what works before doing it, thus letting others make the mistakes so you don’t have to go through as much difficulty to get to where you’re going. This leads to observing life, deconstructing, making notes, and accumulating information so we can make better decisions for ourselves. We are the one we see in the mirror every morning, the one wearing our clothes.

    Our self is already here, waiting to be moulded into who we want to be or the role we want to play out through action. We need to create ourselves through process, workouts, education, adventures, relationships, experiences, and so on.

    The point is, I believe we all go through a phase where we seek for what we want and what resonates with us. If we don’t go through that phase, we can seek all we want, but come up short of results. The point is this is what I did. I went through pain, I got lost, and I entirely gave myself up for the adventure, for the experience. If I didn’t do so, I wouldn’t be so certain of who I am today. And this has been the most fruitful of experiences, albeit the most painful one.

    I became everything I’m not, in order to discover everything that I am. In a way, I went through pain until I could go through pain no longer. There’s a brick wall you cannot go through when it comes to who we are. We have a pain threshold and mine took me about 10 years of experimenting, going through pain, pushing myself and going through trial and error in order to discover without a shadow of a doubt who I am.

    This has been one of the most rewarding periods of my life, the possibility to discover exactly who I am. The possibility to overcome everything that I was, and discard everything that I was not.

    I haven’t accomplished much on the career front though, and there was a good reason for this. Soft skills are easier to learn than hard skills. Changing your mindset, discarding what you’re not, and doing the deep work on yourself is ultimately the most difficult work you’ll ever do on yourself. You have to let a part of yourself die, the part that you are no longer and you then have to go through the stages of grief. You have to go through pain to see how far you can push life. How far can you push your spiritual pain?

    The point is that with every difficult experience you go through, you will be given a gift. Not like some special kid skill where you can see through walls or guess numbers on a whiteboard… No, a gift as an insight. You get confirmations which come to solidify who you are. And by discovering these gifts, you get to build who you are and discard who you’re not.

    Once you discover everything that you’re not, you get to overcome it, let go of it and move on to better places. You get to level up, you get to ascend to who you’re supposed to be. You get to become YOU for everything you are. And by doing so you become the gift you give to the world by your own example.

    The thing is when we discover that we can make decisions and change who we are. We can’t change who we are, but we can change how who we are is. We create who we are through experiences, so isn’t it worth jumping into the unknown to discover new things we didn’t know?

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  • How I became richer than a Millionaire

    I created contrast. I created pain. I underwent pain on a level so deep that I couldn’t escape it. I created a personal imprisonment, something so dreadful that anything that I would live in contrast would be sheer pleasure and enjoyment. I decided to go through something so drastic that I could not help but enjoy life in comparison.

    In contrast my life became a paradise of my own making. I didn’t change anything. I didn’t buy anything. I didn’t invest in some glamorous personal development or spiritual course. I didn’t frequent some guru who would make me happy.

    Where I hated living, I now enjoy living, love every aspect of my life the contrast of becoming so satisfied with my life has made me enjoy every aspect so much more. By creating a pain period in my life, something I could not escape from, it forced me to see the finer things in life, to gain perspective and to grow from a life I hated to a life I love. I love every aspect of my life.

    I felt being was uncomfortable. You know the story of the ungrateful family and the rabbi? Well, that is what I did to my soul. I once heard that Eckart Tolle say that I he had a pain threshold and that he reached a limit before letting go of suffering which wasn’t necessary. “All suffering is caused by ignorance.” – Dalai Lama

    So, when I heard this in high-school, I decided to go through pain. I decided to suffer consciously until I could no longer take it. I figured that if I went through enough I’d be able to let go of my inner suffering. The point is, it worked.

    We cause pain for ourselves, unnecessarily, and we inflict this on ourselves and then others if we’re unconscious of it. Going through pain makes us conscious. It makes us lucid of what we feel, to an extent that we reach that rock bottom where we believe that we never want to ever feel that thing every again. It’s not necessarily the nicest experience to go through I’ll grant you that.

    But I will say that on a 1 minute experience, taking a cold shower is pretty much the same thing for the body and the mind. Imposing humiliating circumstances, going through pain, forcing ourselves to confront our fears, confronting those fears head on, making the decision to jump in head first and figure it out later. All of these things have contrasted my life a thousand fold and have made me feel like the richest man on earth, despite not making any money at all since 2017.

    But I have a purpose, I feel grateful, I feel happy (I do) on a constant basis, I see the finite details I couldn’t see before. Maybe I can’t buy a Bugatti, or take a girl to dinner because I’m money broke and can’t seem to figure out how to monetize my life (despite having created a website around selling art, and writing a book, and other ventures…). The point is, I enjoy my life, I love my process, I love my mind and I enjoy my mundane.

    And despite not having the haves, I know by contrast that everything I have been through has brought me to the understand that I will have. That any pain I will face, as if I have somehow grown accustomed to the difficulty, I will be able to overcome easily, or at the vest least I will be able to withstand it (blind optimism). It’s all about what we perceive.

    The point is, thanks to my experiences, I don’t need much and I am in perpetual bliss with my present. I’ve become inner rich, despite being “poor”. While some of the richest people in the world at inner poor.

    And who knows, maybe I’ve achieved what the feeling everyone is seeking. I’m enjoying every moment of my present. If I was doing things for money, that would be taking away from my present. And if we cannot accept the present, we cannot use the gift within: the possibility of now.

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  • No limits life: overcome anything

    Have you ever heard of the matrix? What if there were real life programs that could control the way we perceive life. What if I told you that programs of indoctrination, conscious, unconscious, unquestioned control us. What if I told you that for the last years I’ve been testing a number of “matrix programs” and figuring out how to escape.

    What if I told you that I was diagnosed as a schizophrenic.
    What if I told you that I was diagnosed as a bipolar.
    What if I told you that I was diagnosed as transgender.
    What if I told you that I overcame addiction.
    What if I told you that I overcame illusion.
    What if I told you that I’ve overcame burnout.

    What if I told you that I’ve dismantled all of the biases and false beliefs that have governed me and made me believe that I wasn’t free to live the life I wanted, for the last 30 years.

    Would you believe me if I told you, you can too?

    What if I told you that the psychiatrists told me that I would have to depend on drugs my entire life to be sane minded. What if I told you that I am a free man, with a sane mind, more powerful in spirit than the inception of an idea, or multiple, that I couldn’t be free from a mindset. I didn’t always believe this, so for me to write it out in black and white translates how far I’ve come.

    We can come back from anything. It doesn’t matter what you go through in life, you can overcome it, you can become stronger, and you will get there (if you want it enough).


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  • N°2 on Amazon’s top 100 list on creativity!

    Huraaah! The creators guide to the galaxy is N°2 on amazons best sales on amazon!

    I don’t normally go out of my way to share these things, but it feels good to see my book in second place after only a few weeks of publishing. Whoever you are who purchased my book, thank you. I’ve worked so much on this project and to see it in second place on amazon feels amazing! I’m so grateful!

  • Success: There is no point of arrival…
    P101 – The Creators guide to the Galaxy – Cherokee Goldberg

    There is no point of arrival, there is only succession of events. These events are either failures or success’s. To be successful, we must achieve a succession of successes. To achieve one success is only a turning point in our life. One success doesn’t grant us VIP status, wealth or acknowledgement. One success is the foundation for many others to come.

    There’s never a moment where we actually get there. It doesn’t matter what we do. I realised when I published my book that if what we do isn’t enjoyable, then the journey really isn’t worth it. If the journey doesn’t turn out for the best we’ll end up regretting it. Ultimately, our journey must allow us some form of recompense and enjoyment. If the sole reason we embark on an adventure is to find the treasure, we miss out on the entire trip.

    While we advance towards what we expect to be our saviour, we also grow and evolve.
    Each step changes our perception. By the time we arrive at the spot on the map, our expectation has moved on. It’s enjoyable for about 5 minutes to publish a book, to finish a race, to achieve, but then what?

    If the point in the future is enjoyable from our perception of it here in the present, maybe what we’re looking at from our present moment isn’t the greener grass. What we’re looking at is hope, expectation. We put the future on a pedestal and reject our the notion of our present as acceptable.

    So, when are we going to enjoy our now? What is preventing us from being here and fully existing?

    I’m all for pleasure delaying, but if we continuously reject our present for a better future, we never really enjoy our present moment. The truth is, sometimes we need to enjoy our here and now. In fact, the more we can do that the more successful we’ll become. Accepting our here and now enables us to fully embrace doing.

    There is no such thing as a success, if you knew you could do it. Success is getting to the place you never could, reaching the level you could only dream of, doing the things you thought weren’t possible. Success is stepping into the unknown and emerging victorious. Success is the intense path of transformation knowing full well that a hard path makes for a skilled warrior.

    Success is being content with the results you have, and loving yourself enough to try again until you reach what you envision. It’s not reaching the results by discipline by whipping yourself into submission to just do things. It’s actually wanting to do it, because the path is exciting to you.

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  • Labels only mean what meaning we attribute to them

    We define ourselves too often via those who perceive us. The people we meet on a daily basis end up defining how we see ourselves. Far too often while growing up, teachers who lacked motivation, and people who didn’t believe in themselves mirrored back to me their inadequacies and limitations. I grew up believing that I wasn’t great, when in fact I am without a doubt. My only problem? Others. It’s a funny thing. Never in a million years would I have believed that my problems could have come from other people.

    In fact, I have spent my entire life being as diplomatic and empathetic to others. I shy from being out and about simply because people ask me so often, for money, for directions, for something. I even went as far as trying to become a mean person so that people wouldn’t profit of my generosity. It didn’t work, it wasn’t sustainable.

    Though, I say that labels don’t mean anything because I know. I’ve shrugged my labels off, and believe me I’ve had some pretty strong labels.

    Whether you’re a schizophrenic, a bipolar, a transgender, or a social pariah, you can overcome these labels and move forward, if you believe you are above these things.
    Very often, whatever diagnosis doctors lay on our shoulders falls short and crumbles.
    In fact, I’m pretty sure at this point in my life that psychiatrists are only here to medicate people and tell them lies about how their peoples lives can evolve. The truth is, it doesn’t matter what anyone says. Even a Psychiatrist or a Doctor!

    If you believe that your life has a different future than the one being told to you, then it’s up to you to define your life the way you want it. Living your life from the outside in can only work for a while, but anyone who’s mastered the art of living will tell you that you can’t win by striving to live up to other peoples standards. In fact, as you strive to do so, your life will get incrementally worse as time goes by. Learning to live by your own standards is essential to going at your own rhythm, and that is required if you’re going to enjoy your life at all. The way I know this is that I spent most of my life people pleasing, reading their reactions, living through them, telling them what I thought they wanted to hear. All of this despite not knowing truly what I wanted. In fact, I wasn’t really aware of myself, I was simply living through other peoples reactions. This made for quite a vacant life, one of appearances. But one day, I had to examine my life. I had to deal with emptiness, inadequacy, fears, even mental illness! It wasn’t a pretty picture. In fact, it was worse on the emotional front, I had to feel my way through a swamp of painful, scared and intense feelings.

    Everything I had bottled up for 2/3 of my life, just sat there in the corner of the room like a giant turd on a sunny day, stinking, ugly.

    When the time came for me to deal with it all, I had to start with one problem at a time, one feeling at a time, one troubled perspective at a time… alone. No one can really help you. Psychologists judge you and waste your time, psychiatrists drug you and waste your time double, family members add trauma and trigger you, and by now you’ve probably alienated yourself from your friends. No worries, it will be ok.

    You see, going through 20 years of bottled up emotion isn’t as bad as it seems. It’s painful, it’s frustrating (especially when we see everyone else succeeding and becoming rich and enjoying life!), and there are no shortcuts. It is however ultimately worth doing.

    Going through our past, undoing our difficulties, letting past pains come up to the surface to be healed, doing the messy work… It all makes sense once we’ve done it. It’s as if we’re carrying around a bag of rocks and each time we solve something we’ve either outgrown the weight a little or we’ve put a rock down. Either way, we get to grow through the process.

    All of this, looking back at when I left high-school, was triggered by the fact I felt like an outcast and ostracised from a group for breaking up with my (at the time) girlfriend. Of course the group of friends I had known the entire time I was with her decided to turn their backs on me, they were her friends! Though, going forward this turn of events made me feel as if the entire world had ostracised me and labelled me as “BAD”. All the other labels I’ve been given so freely along the way, they were wrong too!

    It’s with these parting words that I say, so convinced, that we are the sole deciders of who we are, what we are, and what we’re going to do about it. No one can label you if you know deep down you’re not what they’re defining you as. In fact, nothing can define you or how you perceive the world except you. So choose well, the power to decide is in your hands!

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  • The silver lining of failure
    “Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”
    – Winston Churchill.

    The gift for work well done is more work.

    We can work on long term projects and then see absolutely no results. In itself, accomplishing the project is a success. But if the project didn’t take, it’s a failure.
    So, it’s time to move on to the next project.

    Though, I’m not here to talk about my failure. I’m here to talk about the silver lining I consider a success. For a couple of years now, I’ve been working on a book. And while starting out, it felt difficult. I worked through the difficulty, I continued despite feeling weak, despite feeling lost, despite having no clue what I was doing or where I’d end up.

    Had I not been through this process, I wouldn’t have developed my mindset or mind.
    Going through process is like carving a hole through a mountain. While it’s initially difficult, painful, long, and bares no fruits. Once done, we have a tunnel to get to the other side.

    This tunnel can be used for import and export, it can be used for tourism, it can be used for many things. Before digging this tunnel, we feel blocked, limited. We’re up against a brick wall. Once on the other side, we have options. They may not necessarily the options we want. But we have the options.

    Now, after going through that process we grow. Or should I say, we develop a skill we can go to at any time. This develops confidence. We can do it again if need be. We know we can rely on this developed skill to start again if that comes up.

    The silver lining of going through process is that we work up a degree of momentum and that momentum can be applied to the next best thing. Like stamina and endurance, we work our bodies up over time and we get stronger, then we can run the marathon or lift that that 400kg barbell. Except this is work related or project related.

    Once we’ve overcome one project and we’ve done our absolute best, we get to be proud of ourselves. It doesn’t have to be the best thing in the world, but at least we completed it. We won the battle against our limitations. We can’t fake reaching the summit of our internal mountain, because we can’t lie to ourselves. Ultimately we know the truth.

    Ever tried telling someone that you have a Ferrari when you don’t? Yeah, exactly.
    Except, overcoming challenges allows us to develop confidence. It allows us to become great, and that greatness allows us to materialise greatness. The seeds start in the mind.

    “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett

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    Here’s the Amazon Link

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  • ANNOUNCEMENT: Creative Excellence (it’s a book!)

    I have an announcement to make! I’m pretty excited to share this news as I’ve been working on this for a while! In fact, it brings me to tears, it’s taken me some 12 years to come up with this and get this far!

    I wanted to be an independent thinker, so the fact that I managed to come up with this on my own only accentuates how much more important this is to me. I’ve struggled so much, I’ve been through so much pain, I’ve caused myself so much distress, and I’ve become so much more acute because of it.

    In a world where we’re safeguarded from pain, difficulty and risk, going against the grain and figuring out how to experience more rather than less, is a damn difficult task. But ever so useful when we seek to go through process and evolve. You see, a process where you don’t experience any emotions is a process where you don’t grow on a deeper level. So many of us only evolve on a mental level, but never on an emotional and spiritual level. In fact, I can clearly say that 10 years ago I couldn’t express what I felt. It was so bad, that when I had girlfriends, I expressed what I felt for them through MP3 titles.

    My mind was so rigid that thinking or even being anything other than what I believed I was felt like torture. In fact, I was petrified. I was scared shitless at the idea of doing anything different from what I knew. So getting outside of myself felt like I was going to die somehow. I repeated this dying sensation over and over for about 10 years, which expanded my mind and heart beyond anything I could possibly have imagined before doing so.

    I knew, when I quit high-school , that I needed to go through pain. I figured that if Madonna had been raped, and Lady Gaga had experienced a rough break-up, and Eckhart Tolle had a pain body so excruciating that he had to let go of it, and they all became who they are today. Then I had to suffer
    in order to achieve a degree of fame and enlightenment. For me fame was synonymous with enlightenment. If I was in any way famous, I’d achieve it by letting go of my preconceived notions and going through a process until I was excellent. I knew that this process would work for me as I had already repeated this pattern so many times in my adolescence and had become the best in my circle by applying repeated patterns.

    This may have become common knowledge now, but at the time I was going on intuition. So my knowledge to train with people who were far better than I was, always striving to become better than I was and aiming to emulate the best people I can envision essentially came from me. Others may have figured it out, or maybe I subconsciously stumbled across a process which world class players applied. I remember training for soccer. I’d go running on my own, and train at the mini football pitch before going to soccer practice and matches, where other people on the team simply contented themselves with going to practice once or twice a week, I’d train nearly 4 to 5 times per week depending on energy. I applied this same process for video-games and obliterated my opponents. I then decided to apply this same method to real life practices such as business. I went to work for, what I considered the best in the area where I was working, Swarovski and Pandora. And during my 1 year stay working for them, I produced – selling products between 5 and 200 euros- around 130 000K. Of which I received maybe 10 percent during the course of the year. I then applied for some of the most successful companies in the world such as Apple, Marriott International and other such monsters of industry.

    I then proceeded to reach a state of burnout. I couldn’t upkeep the rhythm at which I was working.
    I simply couldn’t fuel my energy expense. Mostly because my motivation was extrinsic. Finding the energy to depend upon someone external didn’t cut it for me anymore. Not to mention that depending on others to recompense me and fulfil my needs wasn’t a good long term solution.

    Transitioning from extrinsic motivation to intrinsic motivation took a lot out of me. In fact it was a harsh process, through which I tested myself, my limits, the imposed limits which had been imposed upon me, the fears of those around me, how far I could go. I needed to discover myself and what made my tick.
    I didn’t care about the effects of the process, I would succeed despite anything which came on. I would go through this and I would succeed. I did not care one Iota about what other people thought about me.
    I decided to go through as many difficult situations, to face embarrassment, to go through risks, to go through a high degree of failure in order to get in the habit of feeling those emotions. I didn’t want to be bothered by anything normal people are afraid of. In fact I wanted to elevate myself above what I thought were everyone else’s limitations. I wanted to rise well above those around me because I hated the way I felt around them so much. This would take difficulty. This would take grit. This would take courage.
    And beyond anything that I thought I needed to do, this would take a healthy amount of self-belief; a substance I had little of when starting out. I believed that everything I was, was because of the people I associated to. So, I needed to succeed at any costs on my own, via my own vision, and of course by making my own mistakes.

    This was because I saw my parents success as something which prevented me from succeeding.
    I needed to surpass what they had done in order to define myself. I needed to become a better artist, a better writer and of course I needed to become a better chef. I needed to become somewhat rich internally before I could become rich externally. I needed to believe.

    Along the way, I also needed to discover my own process. What made me tick, but how I’d apply my energy. How sensitive I was, and what kind of environment and requirements I needed to achieve a degree of excellence. I’d go as far as go to 5 star hotels to experience what being rich meant, I’d do what rich people did. I’d spend time with people who had yachts. I’d spend time on yachts. I’d pop champagne. But I’d also spend time with the most successful people I could.

    I developed the confidence to go to Monaco on a whim. I went to the GP. I brushed with my second uncle David Coulthard. (Yes, for some reason I’m related to him…) Which upped my standards for myself and gave me an impetus to become greater than what I was. But regardless of the external conditions I was brought up with. My grand father having been to Cambridge, my grand mother having also been to an Ivy League school. My cousins being straight A students and being top players in industry. My parents being hardcore entrepreneurs since day one. My father being a north star for me to aspire to with my own standards of doing things. Growing up my best friends were wealthy, in England, as well as in France.

    For some reason, I tend to have an inner energy which – like a magnet- attracts me to those situations, or attracts those situations to me. An inner essence which seems to need to always be better. Astrologers would say this is because I have a Moon in Leo in addition to a Jupiter in Leo. Others could say it’s because I’m an achiever. And still others could say I’ve been surrounded with excellence since day one.

    But, without a doubt, I’ve always had fire within. I remember when I was about 5 years old, I wanted to be an artist, I also distinctly remember expressing this inner fire as “adrenalin”. But its not adrenalin. It’s an inner feeling of greatness which I cannot ignore. An inner standard which will reside in me til the day I die.

    It doesn’t matter how low I go, this fire will always carry me higher. I will always float back up as long as I can keep my mind open. And like a hot air balloon, I will float up to the top empowered by this inner flame, with my mind wide open like the Envelop.

    And with this sentiment, I share with you, my new book the Creators guide to the galaxy.


    On amazon kindle and hardcover!

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  • We’re all millionaires, about time we acted like it.

    “Time isn’t the main thing, it’s the only thing.” – Miles Davis. 

    Every second you sit there is just going to waste. Literally, you’ll never get it back. Your time here on earth is limited. As much as you take your life for granted, which is ok too, there dreams you need to accomplish in this life time. You are here to experience life fully.

    Imagine everything that you have ever wanted. Imagine the best times in your life and the way you felt. That time when you were a child, when you were exited to know what was under the tree. Imagine that time when you were going to meet your first girlfriend for the very first time, or that you meet your soulmate for that very first time while everything is in synchronicity just as you turn around and see them your life changes for ever.

    Imagine if nothing happened for you because you weren’t making the most of your life. Instead, life has no meaning and you are caught in an eternal hamster wheel just running and running, just exchanging your time and focus, and effort against a tiny percentage of what your value actually is. Imagine for a second, that all could change.

    Maybe see it differently. Our time is constantly fleeting. While we sleep 1/3 of our life away, we are left with 2/3 of our life to do what we “want” to do, if we have 2/3 of our time for ourselves that is! Then according to the fact you have a job, you’ll probably work 8 hours per day, which brings your life down to 1/3 of free time which you spend getting ready for work or relaxing/resting from work, and if you’re ambitious enough you might get a couple of hours for yourself after subtracting driving to and back from work, getting groceries, taking care of kids etc. 

    That leaves you with very little time for yourself doesn’t it? Wouldn’t it be great if you could use time differently though? If you could take a step back from life and create a life for yourself from scratch would you? Or would you feel overwhelmed?

    There were no rules, no obligations, or any limitations to what you could do and money isn’t the problem, what would you do? (hint: when you can rid yourself of your own mental limitations it gets interesting.)

    When we say we are “taking our time”, a smart thing to do while taking that time, is to reallocate it for ourselves. By reallocating time and putting the extra 2/3 on our side, we open up new doors to possibilities which didn’t seem possible before. We’re taking control of our time!

    In doing so, we get to see the picture clearly. Now, lets restructure time…

    If we can be counted on by ourselves to make decisions for ourselves, placing time in our hands is a little like giving us the holy grail. We access a whole new given power and we feel great! Or a little overwhelmed without knowing what we want to do… Creating structure is an important one to focus on when one has time. 

    Observing what works for us and what doesn’t, making clarifications about how we function optimally becomes a necessity. 

    There are certain structures which work well. Simple structures like calendars, and “emploi du temps” which we would normally use for work. Instead, because work becomes something we want to do, we seamlessly weave it into our daily routines as opposed to have routines around a black block of low grade pay submission to make money for someone else. No, I’m not a fan of working for people who are “above” me. As I suppose most entrepreneurs.

    Let’s break a year down into work.
    Let’s say you have 24hrs in a day.
    You’ll spend 8 Sleeping if you’re lucky. 

    You’ll spend 8 Working (+1or 2 commuting) 45hrs/week

    for an employer in order to pay your bills, eat, clothe yourself, and perhaps pay for your passions. 

    You’ll have 8 hours to yourself.
    (from which you subtract getting to work 1-2hrs- lets go with 1) 

    You spend about approx’ 1hr per  day getting ready for work. 

    1hour of sport per day ( I liked to run for around an hour)

    You generally spend about 1 hour to 2 hours resurfacing from
    your busy work day. Lets say you’re healthy and well – 1 hour. 


    You spend about 2Hrs to 3hrs prepping and eating food (if you are doing it in a healthy way) – lets say 2 if you’re hyper well organised.
    You are interested in Developing your mind because you enjoy mind-work.
    Reading: 1hr 

    HouseCleaning/Taking out the bins/ Washing clothes/ Hanging them out/ Ironing your clothes… You’re done No more time for you. You’ve reached the limit…

    How much time do you have left in your life?
    How long does it take to become a master at something?
    How long do we sleep?
    How much time do we need for basic needs per day?
    How can we optimise our days for the best amount of time?
    How can we take our time and use it correctly?

    How much time do we have Left? 

    24h in a day 

    720 in a month

    8640 in a year. 

    I’m 29 years old at the time of writing this book.
    Let’s say I live until 90 Years old and I die on my birthday in 2080. 

    This leaves me with 61 years to live approximately. 

    I then have 527040 hours of time to live. 

    Now, let’s subtract the 8 hours of sleep I have per day.

    I only have 16 hours out of the 24, if I want to resource myself and keep a healthy body, sleep is necessary. At least by my standards at this age. Taking into account other factors can be accounted for, ageing symptoms will vary this time. This is about creating a reference for the amount of time I have left to live and experience the world. If I’m lucky, maybe I will have an impact on some people.

    If we retract the 8 hours of sleep per night during those 61 years, we’ll end up with

    something like this: 

    16/24 hours in a day. 

    480/720 per month. 

    5760/8640 per year. 

    5760 multiplied by 61 becomes 351360 hours of life to live. Minus the time I’ll need to eat, shower, etc. Minimising the time I spend at the shops looking for food, or the time I spend at work changes my life intrinsically. My life becomes pragmatic and everything is about optimising the time I have so I can make the best out of the time I have here on earth. Why would I want to spend half an hour to 3 hours waiting for someone who doesn’t show up because they have some form of disrespect for authority in their lives? Why would I want to waste time talking to people who only have negative perspectives and who without a doubt Know better than me? Why would I want to spend any time at all on anything which doesn’t actually serve me life, stagnating, non productive? It’s beyond me.

    Knowing I have 350 thousand hours of time left; what do I wish to accomplish with my time? How can I optimise and best use my 175680 hours of sleep? 

    How can I best use my 350 000 hours of time?
    The time is mine to spend however I wish to spend it. 

    Do I wish to leave behind a legacy?
    Do I wish to create beauty and harmony to leave behind to the world? 

    Do I wish to participate in someone else’s legacy?
    Do I wish to simply spend this time working for money? 

    Or do I wish to create something which betters the existence of everyone around me and all those to come? 

    Or do I simply wish to spend my time getting praise, to then vanish one day and have people tell stories and tails about me? 

    Think about it through another perspective:

    (Redo the math: )Think of it this way, I’m 29, and if I work until I’m 90 I can expect to make
    1 750 000, if I work every day until I die. which means that if I work every single day until I’m 60 I can expect to have 875 000 thousand euros. Thats all.

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  • I’ve been waiting for a long time to say this…

    It was utterly shocking…

    You know when we reach limitations in life? We simply cannot go faster, get better and so on?
    I was at my peak performance in high school and this wasn’t to do with my physical capacity,
    it had all to do with my mindset. I used to run long distances, but I also use to sprint the fuck out of people. Ever since I was a young child of 7 months going further than possible was always a thing.
    Climbing up walls while the other toddlers were rolling around. Running off as far and fast as I could.

    Often while running, I’d contemplate my limitations. I was the fastest runner on the soccer team, the fastest runner on the running team, and the fastest runner I have ever encountered. My only enemy was me. I’d run for hours, at a speed. It was pure bliss. Until one day, my knee started to cause me pain.
    No matter how much I stretched, rested, slept. I didn’t matter, my knee wanted nothing to do with any of it.

    My entire life my identity had been intertwined with running, and suddenly it was stripped away. Disgusted with life, after all the hard work I had put in, after all the hours, a rigorous life striving to be better than any mere mortal man I’d encounter. I was defeated, not even by my own mindset, but by a choice.

    I chose to give up. I felt empty. I needed motivation. I had discipline, I had a devilish drive, but I had nothing I wanted. I felt undefeated, unchallenged. My friends had moved off to work in different towns and countries and I was left alone with my environment. All I had was me and myself and the occasional runner who I’d outrun. It became boring.

    Although my competition had vanished, I had to face my inner monsters. More persistent than anyone I’d ever encountered, I gave up dealing with reality for a while just to tussle with my own demons. And then,
    I obliterated them too.

    I live in this tiny village in the south of France. And I wanted money. Everyone always told me to get a job.
    But as soon as I took a position in a company, after 6 months, I’d feel the repetition and a lack of challenge. So, I’d quit and move on. Then one day, I decided to move back home. I hated home. There is no one there, and there is no work for miles. The only living beings here are sheep and the occasional inhabitants plodding about. Growing up here has been a lonely predicament. But, I chose to go back,
    despite not being able to run, despite having overcome my demons. Simply because there was no work.

    I set myself a challenge. I would go back home and I could only leave if I succeeded to make money from where I am. Which meant that, with little to no ressources, I’d have to figure out how to make money via my own skillset. I had none. Or at least I had none that I could rely on or felt confident to call a skill.

    Confronted with the comparison of everyday social media success’s, and the inevitability that my financial situation, would run out; I confronted myself with the impossibility of figuring it out own my own.
    Sometimes in dire moments I have contacted a coach. Although that was more to do with letting go of past turmoil than it was anything else.

    Now, I’ve been working day and night to overcome a list of afflictions as long as my arm and I believe that I have overcome them in addition to having let go of a condition which was truly holding me back. I’ve also achieved something which will help me to gain a more positive perspective later on in the game: Contrast.

    While I had always been a runner, I had always been beanpole thin. I knew that if I could be fat or out of shape I could easily work my way back to being in tip top condition and use the contrast to first and foremost observe how people reacted to me being out of shape (in addition to observing how people would react if I did things which were completely contradictory to who I am), and then I’d also have the contrast of showing the out of shape pictures afterward. So when I did succeed, I’d have my past discipline to rely on and I’d simply get back to work when it was time.

    Now, I’m currently in a place where I have experienced enough pain, enough suffering, enough difficulty, and enough body dysmorphia to claim everything again and create a dramatic comeback.
    It’s that time. During the next year, I am going to undergo a life-changing transformation.

    So, today, and after a long time of planning this, I’d like to say,: I’m back!

    *Btw: Great attempt at a hook ey? haha

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  • Imagine

    Imagine one day you wake up and discover that God and the Devil are the same.

    And understand that no matter what your decision is, it will always lead you to where God wants to take you.

    Imagine one day, you wake up and comprehend that no matter who you seek to serve, the Devil, the angels or God, it’s all part of one and the same. You’re serving yourself so you can serve others and vice versa.

    Imagine you figure out that there is no escape and everything you do leads you, fatalistically, precisely to where you need to be, to who you need to encounter.

    Just for a second, imagine that even if you think you are in control, you’re not. Even if you think you know, you don’t.

    Imagine for a moment, that all of this is but a simulation. Not some trap like in the matrix. But beyond our conscious ability to percieve. Once we let go of the doing. The here and now are part of what we see. And we see what we are.

    Imagine there is no one else, but mirrors of yourself, distortions, variations, subtractions, additions of who you are. All working in harmony.

    The world changes when we change our mind, so what makes you think the world has any power?

    It seems to me that the world at large is but a projection, and we the projector being mirrored back to what and how we project.

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  • Success is the accumulation of the things you do
    Décollage champ large, le 30/07/2021.
    | Wide view lift-off. 07/30/2021.

    When I was younger, I read a book – Whatever you think, think the opposite – by Paul Arden.

    In this book, I remember distinctly, two protagonists. One called steady Eddy, and the other Reckless Erika. One climbs the corporate ladder and over the course of his stable ascension, becomes ” a bit dull”, by “40 he’s moved sideways and by 47 he’s out.”. Then there’s Erika, who’s somewhat unreliable, produces lots of ideas, gets recognized for some of them, gets fired for being unreliable, and then starts over. By 40 she’s got a track record of lots of breakthroughs on her CV and is in high demand. I’m probably butchering this and I’ll have to pick up a copy of the book to rectify. But you get my point.

    When I read this, I didn’t want to be the man paying top dollar to go to university for 5 to 9 years, enter a big corporation, and climb the corporate ladder one step at a time until I reached 45 and had no juice left in me to live life by age 47.

    I associated far more with Erika’s trajectory. The unreliable girl who got good breakthroughs, then went away for a bit, went down to rock bottom and then somehow came back and achieved something bigger (at least thats how I perceived and remembered it. Perhaps I was seeing my own trajectory…) Like a frantic up and down Bull and bear market giving birth to a zigzag.

    The degree of stability Mr 9.5 Eddy enjoyed, was not a luxury I had ever had. In fact, for most of my life everything had been hectic and unstable despite my best efforts to be Mr 9.5. I went to school, studied, learned some things, came out with a few diplomas and then went out into the real world to be a man. Then life happened.

    There’s no “I’m a man” when you’re suddenly hit with the patterns of the subconscious effects of an unstable life. It’s not our fault, but it’s there, naked standing in the middle of the room. You can’t really force your way through emotional turmoil and believe that everything will be alright. Your habits, especially having to adapt to other peoples turmoil, cross your life like a freight train. In the moment, you adapt, you wonder what is happening to you. And then you plunge under and an ocean of overwhelm takes over.

    Your life goes awry and you have to figure out how to deconstruct your addictions, your limitations, your fragilities and build yourself back up. One goes through a number of trials and unfortunate situations before being able to lift their head up above water surface. These circumstances, I’d say are like gravel traps on an F1 circuit. If we’re going the wrong way, they take our power away from us until we can properly distinguish our path again. And we have a good number of ways we go awry in life. We’re taught a good number of things which aren’t helpful and pick up a few bad habits along the way, and when we need to wake up and start making our own decisions, we’re left with roads that lead us away from the destinations we need to go to. So, in a way these gravel pits life makes are good, they allow us to slow down, reevaluate and determine with a clear head what it is we want and then go after it.

    After going awry, we get to shoot back up to a prominent role, even higher than the last one. The accumulation of all of those daring crazy decisions, risks, the vulnerability, it all adds up. The situations and decisions that once seemed far too crazy now seem easy and risk free, because we’ve already demystified them by daring so much. Now, obviously people who haven’t taken those risks will perceive them as beyond audacious. Crazy even. Though, the person who has somehow self-initiated themselves to what would seem crazy to others, also opens doors which are invisible to everyone but themselves.

    Because of one’s crazy audacious nature, amazing opportunities arise naturally because that’s what we’ve been accumulating all along. The depth of one’s failures create the hight of one’s accomplishments.

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  • JBL Flip 3 – Stealth edition battery change

    Hello JBL Users.

    If you’re here, it’s probably that you didn’t find what you were seeking from your google search and your youtube search.

    Why do I know this? I wrote this post because I didn’t find what I was seeking through my search.
    And because I didn’t find what I was looking for, or the results ended up being chucking my JBL in the bin as a result. I decided to go a little Loco and figure out the process myself.

    As you know, JBL Flip speakers sometimes need a little battery update. Sometimes the battery slides right out, and we can slip our Amazon purchased battery in in less than 10 minutes. Other times, we’re left with wires dangling, speakers half screwed in and a butter knife stuck down the body of the speaker.

    That’s right! When there’s too much glue, it makes it difficult to get the battery out of the microscopic plastic hole. Either because JBL use way too much, or because they use radioactive quality glue, the battery stays stuck and we the users are left with essentially a door stopper or a library book stop.
    Now, I don’t know about you, but I refuse to give in to this num-nuts idea of putting a speaker in the bin because I can’t get the battery out.

    My first idea was to create an identical speaker body made out of wood. Perhaps I would get an even nicer sound too? Perhaps. Then, I figured it would be more expensive in electricity and rotary tool bits in addition to the wood and time. So I gave up on that idea, even if it seems pretty nice to have a hand-made speaker case.

    My second idea was, drill a hole in the side, slide the wire in and let the battery dangle on the side or create a little case for the external battery. As a result of this, I now have a speaker that works, with a good enough battery to last 10 hours, and I don’t have to replace a second hand 40 euro portable speaker.

    If you’ve made it until now, I’m going to assume that you’ve already taken off your speakers and have a box with dangly wires and a table full of screws… Otherwise have a look at this youtube video as an example before so. https://youtu.be/ynOI-OMTn2M

    At the top, there is a demi-circle (normally used for attaching a strap of some sort…)
    I decided to use a micro rotary tool saw, but you can use a serated knife (it’ll do the trick…).
    This will ensure that you can get the wires through to the motherboard to plug the battery in.
    Assure that you have your power adapter stuck back in also, otherwise your device won’t have access to power.
    Once the hole was cut. I decided to break the little plastic bar for the strap,
    so I could slide the wire through the hole and then through the cut hole at the top
    of the speaker body.
    as you can see, the wires go from the battery, through the hole, and then through the
    hole I cut.
    On the other-side of the holes, plug the battery in and ensure everything is in place.
    Once done, it should look like this. Rescrew your speakers on to the body, and apply
    the command protection rubber. (This tends to keep your device dry in water somehow.).
    Once everything screwed on etc. Your device will no longer be water proof, but you’ll be able to turn it on
    instead of having to chuck it in the bin. Which is an improvement if you’re not seeking to buy another speaker just yet. I use this for my art room, so if it gets paint splash on it I don’t mind.
    For those of you wondering about the wires and the battery.

    I decided to wrap my battery in some sort of insulation foil, and then I wrapped that in an adhesive tape,
    and taped it to the body of the speaker. The isolation protects it from direct heats and the wiring doesn’t get twisted in the mean time.

    If you liked my solution to JBL Sticky batteries, which prevents users from changing batteries,
    press the like button and I’ll share other stuff I fixed.

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  • One day you will be free…

    One day you will be free. And everything you’ve ever done, everything you’ve ever been,
    and everything you’ve ever aspired to will make sense.

    Your pains will have faded, your humiliations no longer embarrass you, and the things you once thought constituted the end of the world was only the end of a perception which no longer matters. The money you hoped for, you will have. The love you’ve worked to have will be yours, and you will float along your gentle stream enjoying everything you’ve worked for.

    When we start out, we’re drowned in emotion, fears, awe and anticipation of how heavy the weight of it all will be. But then, we step our first step. – It isn’t so bad, is it?- We step another, then another.

    And soon, before we know it we’re half way. We look back in awe that we, the individual who had no sense of confidence before the steps, have come so far despite our circumstances. Despite having to figure it out on our own.

    Everything we were afraid of did come to manifest, but we’re still here. All the fears which once paralysed us are now gone, like smoke into thin air. We’ve been through the tunnel of process, like doe in the oven and we’ve come out fully formed, erect. Who would have thought we would have become the next best thing since sliced bread?

    We’re no better than another yet we’re better than we were. The stone that was once rough is now smooth. The edges have been worked on. Like an oignon, we’ve peeled away the harsh skins and we are
    anew once again.

    They say that freedom is in the mind. Yet we seek it through material and action for some reason. It seems to me that freedom is a state we’re in, a feeling we strive to go after. We believe it’s a feeling we get from the fruits of achievement. Though, achievements are adventures in themselves. At the top of each mountain no one waits for us, no one celebrates us; we are the ones waiting to celebrate ourselves at the top of the mountain. Preventing ourselves from celebrating ourselves now. So we climb another and another, until we see we are worthy… of celebration.

    We are yet to start again. There is nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to be. Once again we stand at the starting line of an adventure, and the end of another. Right here, at this point, everything is perfect just the way it is. That, I must say is freedom. Until we doubt again, once more…

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  • When the dream starts to breakdown

    Everyone builds their lives from their dreams and visions, and strive to live a life
    of perfection, as if in an eternal loop in Groundhog day. Except that life isn’t like that.
    We dream from the pov of not having what we dream of, because we wish to experience
    what we dream about as we haven’t yet done so. We desire something, because we believe it will take away our pain or deliver a pleasure great enough to help us forget pain. Whatever the reason,
    we dream.

    We make it up the mountain, and obtain success. We then sit on the snowey peak, drink our tea out of a flask and contemplate how great we are for about five and a half seconds. We’ve achieved what we wanted, we can now flaunt it to the world, enjoy the fruit of our labour and party like there’s no tomorrow. And then what?

    Then the clouds part, and we see there are higher levels to the mountain. Another desire or dream rears its head and off we go again, forgetting how important it was for us to reach the current peak. We continue seeking another peak, and soon what we achieved on our snowey peak makes little to no sense
    in fact we’d probably gladly give it away.

    As we near our next goal, the previous ones tend to fade in comparison. The competition bike we purchased so passionately only a few years ago sits in the garage gathering dust, so do the sports cars we hoped would bring us love and acceptance. The beautiful wife turned out to be a gold digger and had flirted with pretty much every man under the sun when one’s back was turned. Suddenly, the dream we hoped for, gets picked a part. The vision starts to crumble. We want something else. The desires we so hoped for, were nothing more than an illusion.

    The flashy, loud and desirable outcomes we had once desired now seem status quo. Someone else always has something better.

    And so we take a different path. Our once desired outcomes are now normal and even boring, we want something else, something better, something which turns us on and makes us high, something exciting.
    Yet, I believe many of us fail to realise that human beings are not infinite, and we are not exponential, especially when it comes to energy. At some point we cannot go any higher without inflicting damage to ourselves or to others. At some point the scaffolding becomes unstable. Even the highest building in the world has a limit. Its a crazy limit, but it has one.

    So what then? Rather than go up, we go down, rather than go out, we go in. We stop running after things, we take a break from “others” and rediscover ourselves anew. Minus other peoples perceptions, we get to discover our actual value, rather than what others define us as, and suddenly we act in accordance to what we feel and know to be true on the intangible but undeniable level within.

    As we near more and more who we are, we step away from those who are not like us. In doing so, we discover ourselves even more, deeper. Rather than more money, we want more life, more experience, more enjoyment, more love. Rather than more material possessions, we discover more insights and have more ‘aha’ moments of confirmation as to what we’re really seeking, our inner self, our state of consistency. And to align to our inner consistency means that we follow the beat of our own drum. Rather than external confirmation and affirmation, which breeds ego and vanity. We seek those who are harmonious with us, we seek to be as consistent with what we want, we seek to please ourselves so that we can please others, instead of pleasing others so that we can please ourselves. If there is nothing within, no direction, no tree upon which to hold onto during the storms, we’re like a kite blown around.

    As we consolidate who we are, and do more and more what applies to what we are, life is more about our own journey than it is about social milestones for acceptance. Though our journey shouldn’t be alone. In most certainty, it is “together that we go far”. Although we do die on our own, shouldn’t we learn to live together to the best of our extent until the very last milisecond? We must find those who resemble us.

    On our journey towards what makes sense within, of course we step away from what no longer makes any sense. And as we focus more and more upon what we are and what we’re in search for, our focus no longer spends any time on our previous peaks. They’re ‘nice-to-haves’, but they are disposable. Of course, we are frequency beings, our need to live in accordance to what we are in order to find “comfort” within is important. Comfort doesn’t necessarily rhyme with discomfort. Expansion and growth doesn’t have to always be painful. Sometimes it can be quite enjoyable. In fact, if we seek to expand our spiritual internal self before we expand our material existence, any victory, no matter how small is felt a thousand times more. While expanding out spiritual selves after the obtention of our material circumstances will almost ensure that we somehow make the mistake of letting go of what we worked so hard to get in a mistaken gesture to get rid of what we believe is pain. But what pain really is, is shedding the shell, the false beliefs and discovering whats best for us, despite our false beliefs and illusions. And now that we have the distinction between what is truly needed and what is nice but not necessary, one fades away, I’ll let you come to that conclusion.

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  • Poetic Justice

    I don’t want to know the future. It would take away the element of surprise, from all the magic unfolding before my eyes. From all the blossom in disguise.

    I don’t want to forget the past. It would take away from now and tomorrow. For everything is a contrast which amplifies our perception and feel. Without the pain, the hurt, the screaming and crying one’s self to sleep, bobbing upon the waves on a summer day would feel undeserved and empty, just as celebration falls short, somethings missing.

    Without the feeling that its all unfair, that I can’t have, that I’m left behind, I wouldn’t appreciate a moment of victory with such sweet triumph, I wouldn’t feel the greatness overwhelm me to tears, I wouldn’t feel the embrace as strongly, nor the sincerity in vulnerable words of those I hold dear.

    What a gift to have been through those torturous nights, to have felt a prison cell of circumstances, to have felt the humiliation. How rich one feels, to have a clear understanding and empathy for a fellow man. How wonderful a world in which we are distinguishedly ourselves. Where our snowy foot prints can never be repeated.

    How warm a feeling a sun sitting on our arm. How beautiful a life, to live under a spell, under a charm.

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  • Drinking coffee won’t bring you Love

    Lovers often gather in coffee shops to share a hot drink while exchanging their multiple and mutual indirect expressions of desire for one another, or not. In fact ‘meeting for coffee’ is synonymous with meeting for the first time on a date. Though, dating aside, to go straight to the point, when we decide to engage in any action, we’re seeking the emotional response to it. An emotional benefit.

    When in high-school, like all adolescents in their prime, I thought I had everything under control. I knew how to pick girls up, I’d been given the lethal book The Game, by Neil Strauss. Similar to giving dynamite to a 10 year old, I had in addition to having discovered energetic transmutation as a result of a harsh case of acne, a God-like power at my disposition. I was in my physical prime and had understood the importance of being well presented. I had already studied sales for two years and I was a year older than the kids around me as a result of having taken an alternative interest before studying French literature and philosophy. Anyhow…

    With the confidence of a winning formula 1 pilot on the podium with his bottle of champagne, I entered high-school N°2, and sprayed my confidence and enthusiasm all over anyone whom I encountered.
    Like an invincible self-centered Greek God, I would stride around and flirt with any girl I so desired. With an all too powerful knowing of my inner potential and confidence, in addition to a physical confirmation
    of physical prowess, due to a few years of well intended workouts. The world was my oyster and I felt like the entire Kingdom was mine. Besides, no one could tell me otherwise, I was convinced.

    I then met a girl who seemed capable of resisting my God-like powers. Obviously, she was a match, someone capable of being on equal footing. This appealed to me as I enjoyed strong character and mind in a partner (and still do!).

    The flirtation period was something out of a romantic movie. After consideration, years of watching series such as The Oc, Dr house, and other such long form stories, I had -although I was unaware- interpreted my own versions in my set of circumstances. Coffee shops were our thing and drinking cappuccinos with mini biscuits on the side, while wrapped up in scarfs in the crisp fresh November months. As the leaves dropped in the distance, intertwined in each others exchange of awe, we existed in a vivid bubble of romantic embrace, lusting for each others attention.

    After our relationship had hit the rocks and I had sunk to the bottom of my personal abyss, I continued to drink coffee. With an unconscious desire to get back that period of my life, I strived for the high of coffee. Hoping that the all too comforting and accepting embrace of being loved would resurface somehow. Though, secondary effects of drinking coffee aren’t what got me the relationship in the first place, neither was sitting in coffee shops. One secretly hoped that by sitting in coffee shops, one would enact and attract that process again. Only to miss the point entirely, that it isn’t the coffee nor the shop which one is seeking, but the exchange with someone who elevates us simply by witnessing us.

    What we are seeking is the mirroring of the heart and inner kingdom within the warmth of someone else’s loving expression. Neither substance nor place can replicate, without falling short or empty, as they are but containers. A mug without tea, a place without soul.

    What we are seeking is what is contained. And like the precious Himalayan shilajit, compressed, compounded, refined, densified, processed over and over, and condensed into a substance of pure elemental elixir; Love must is cultivated as a result of going through experiences, evolving, pains, personal development, inner growth, suffering, and most forms of human existence. It’s the condensing of being and refining ourselves overtime which creates a degree of harmony and crystallisation of inner identity to the point where the exchange of love is simply evident.

    Though while going through the process, we may as well have a cup of coffee.. Have a nice day.

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  • Superhuman

    It’s all about energy. Everything.

    Lately, I’ve been studying energy cultivation, mindset, success, food, and so on. While I’ve been off WordPress for a while, I know that I’ve hit something, so I decided to share it with you.

    Over the last 10 or so years, I’ve been purposefully dismantling my life with the intention of rebuilding it back better. And while I did get lost on the journey, I do know one thing. Success leaves clues. When I was 20, I considered myself to be successful, not necessarily monetarily, or materially.
    But I was successful energetically, in fact I dominated my life. I knew what worked, I knew what didn’t work, and I recorded mostly what I did to get to that place and frame of mind.

    You see, so many people focus on what others are doing, rather than focus on what turns them on.
    People are mostly focussed on following. Though despite what others are doing, I tend to follow my intuition and this tends to create a sense of frustration for others, especially if they cannot control me.
    And as soon as there is a show of frustration, I know I’ve won the battle. As he who’s quick to anger is also quick to lose their power. When it comes to power games, self-control is the biggest sense of power we can possess and for one good reason. Relationships are about power, if we have power over our temper, we have control over ourselves. Life is like a game of chess in this respect, he who loses his temper tends to give away his power.

    Remembering the specific actions, routines, mindset and degree of emotionality, all of these factors accumulate. Now, I didn’t take a joy ride over the last 10 years and I also didn’t go back to my foundations to only experience pain. I did have a vision in mind, and I believe that I have achieved significant milestones in its achievement.

    Not too long ago Mike Tyson decided to get back in the ring, he got himself back in shape and went at it again. It’s pretty much the same for me. Striving to reach our personal greatness takes having an intimate roadmap which journeys across how we feel, how we tick, what gets us high, what gets us low…
    When we have already succeeded, especially emotionally, then we can feel our way in the dark and get back to that place within ourselves. We can get there with our eyes closed.

    To be superhuman is that feeling of power that we cultivate and empower. It’s something we can recreate, something which brings us back to a specific frame of mind, in addition to a heavy degree of personal development. I’d say that intuition has a major role to play in this.

    Our intuition is what gets us to the destination we’re seeking. And what we’re seeking is a specific state of being where we feel totally empowered. Like a minotor with its ball of string going through the maze to find its way back to the start, our intuition works day and night to get us back to that place within ourselves. Our intuition is our inner guiding force which follows emotions of confirmation, like a north star in the night, our emotions of confirmation.

    The truth is, we’re not seeking anything other but this one state of being. We want to feel great, empowered, superhuman… And the only way to get there is to go through trial and error over and over until there are specific patterns which become inevitable. Our intuition, like a radar, picks up on all things which make sense to that specific state of greatness we want to reside in.

    Then something happens in the dark of night, a profound sense of emotional clarity takes place. Our inner knowing starts to glow. Something becomes undeniable and we’re more and more clear about what it is. A profound sense of peace mixed with a degree of euphoria and a part of belief that it will all work out for the best, allows us to focus solely on the present. We can let the future take care of its self and
    all our energy is fully focussed on the here and the now, on the quality of our present actions.

    There is something specific we’re seeking to reach, something specific that we’re seeking to achieve somehow, and this is reached by empowering or enabling a part of us within us. There is a place within,
    which screams out, like a lion conquering its prey, that we’ve made it “Home“. The place within ourselves we knew as children before all the pressures and conformism came along, before the imposition of belief systems. A place which resides between our personal polarities. For example, my personal polarities are
    that of freedom, of power, of triumph, and pride. We all have specific polarities within us which dictate and create the tensions needed to create great focus, well-being, a feeling of being alive.

    When we can clearly map out our specific zone of genius, we can exploit it not only for results, but for well-being, to create a feeling of power, of greatness, of success, of most anything. It’s how we tap into our inner most genius.

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  • Vanish and focus

    Have you ever thought about the effects of multitasking?

    We’ve all jumped through hoops with the intention of trying to convince an interviewer that we’re fully able to do multiple tasks at the same time. The idea of the busy secretary who responds to the phone, writes an email with one hand and paints her toenails with the other, while nodding on the person searching for a sense of confirmation from her… comes to mind.

    Although this might seem like it’s a highly productive and seemingly attractive capacity to have, multitasking actually isn’t related to productivity or any sense of deep meaningful work. Instead, maintaining an array of superficial and even meaningless tasks – or in other words maintaining like a traffic warden the ongoing cars who’ve already gathered momentum – but in no way creating momentum for the tasks to arrive at their successful completion.

    A multitasker is then translated as a traffic warden of tasks. Never initiating them, never completing them, but simply witnessing them arriving, and allowing them to go in the right direction. But that’s about it.

    If you decide to get away from multi-tasking jobs, you’ll quickly arrive at the conclusion that to be a self-starter, a deep worker, a race winner – and the list can go on ad infinitum…- we’ll need to rewire our entire mental blueprint away from witnessing and orientating towards creating, innovating, rendering, refining, and shipping our process and our product. Which is an entirely different kettle of fish.

    Though the idea that we can convert ourselves toward a different type of blueprint and applying our effort to a different type of work and career is interesting in its self. Something else lingers in the background…

    The patterns created around multi-tasking, the patterns gathered around social-media and 1 second attention span swiping. Take away the social media and the “1 second and on to the next” pattern continues to live within us and accompanies us through pretty much any other task. The subtle discomfort of staying even a fraction too long doing something specific and immediately moving on towards yet another dopamine hit as the pain pleasure pattern is triggered is an all too vivid problem.

    Pain = discomfort = being present doing anything for too long = the fear of missing out on the next thing

    Pleasure = comfort = discovering something New (our brain thrives on discovery) = keeping tabs on the next task…

    Problem = associating pain to staying with one task from start to finish = never finishing anything = ill performed tasks

    Result = poor quality return on effort = diminishing quality of life = vicious spiral which pushes us towards more pleasure.

    Repeat as many times as you can until your battery wears out.

    So then what? Turn the phone off. Meditate. Focus on one specific task with one specific outcome and stick with it until done. But, but but… No buts. Do it!

    I observed the weakened quality of my efforts a while back while working out. As soon as a pain threshold came up, I automatically stood up and sought out another action, something else to do.
    As if starting another task would give me a soothing dopamine hit. As if giving up on my ab crunches would make a difference. Sure the burn would stop for the time being, but the long term effect is that
    I’d be some fat slob who gives up as soon as pain arises.

    As I grew up with values, and came to understand the value of hard work especially around physical training, the difference between my peak performance years being one of the top strikers on the soccer team was contrasted with my current mental circumstance. Where training and pushing through pain barriers, repeating actions over and over until near perfect created the effect of greatness and physical prowess which I so enjoyed before social media taking over; now I was faced with a diminished work capacity and a lingering question ‘what the fuck? ‘.

    Upon recognising this trait, I grounded myself, relaxed my body and kept at my specific pattern of weights, and pushed through the burning sensations. Simply upon knowing that my previous patterns had led me to being at a greater pattern when younger, and that somewhere along the journey I’d deconstructed my patterns in order to fix some underlining perception and beliefs which would create a better foundation for me to build upon; it was enough to calibrate my broken mindset.

    Stick with it and create a healthy habit around going through the ups and downs of a process.
    -Cut off from social media dependency and get back to real life.

    Stop seeking external validation.
    -Build a pattern within yourself, so strong that nothing external can shift you.
    -Believe in yourself.
    -Comprehend second order consequences and stop seeking first order benefits.
    -Love yourself enough to see that investing time in yourself is not missing out, it’s the only thing that matters.

    “Opportunities are like buses, there’s always another one coming.” – Richard Branson.

    Get intertwined in the process and enjoy what you do.

    While the world may pass us by for the time being and it seems that we’re missing out, reminding ourself that our boat won’t leave without us and we can only go at your own rhythm. Our scrolling won’t make the world come to an end, let alone make it any better, in fact us not scrolling and bettering ourselves is the only way we can make the world better.

    Do yourself a favour and everyone else and better your life, rather than striving to keep up with unknown individuals who couldn’t care less if you succeed or fail. Chances are, they won’t even notice that you’re gone…

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  • Sheep & Shepherd’s

    Having a routine Job is indoctrination of our minds, if it is not a conscious decision. 
    Everyday, we go to a job, engage in job training, learn new things about the job, learn new knowledge and information about how to better meet the expectation of our position. 

    Only to observe something, what we put in our mind, where we focus our attention, our attention and energy flow, its all a form of energy. In Chinese YI and Qi, equal thought and energy. Meaning litterally that our energy follows our thought.

    Our brain is exposed to what our brain is focussed on. What we look at with our eyes, what we hear with your ears, all of this is what we are putting in our mind. Let’s use a blender for example, put Bananas and chocolate powder in, some sort of coconut milk and maybe some cinnamon… Why would you expect a different result than a chocolat and coconut smoothy type drink?

    Don’t expect something different if you continue putting the same stuff inside…

    If we’re not interested in our job, other than money and the opportunity to be there, then the knowledge and repetition day in and day out may not be what we want to be putting in our brain. 

    Say for example, we learn things in school, then from school we go directly into university, then after uni, we decide to take a gap year, then go to get a job once we’ve looked around a bit. 

    Everything we’ve ever learn’t has been adding to our mindset: getting a job. It’s a likely conclusion. We’re literally being trained to get a job to work for someone from a very young age. If we don’t have an inner rebel, then we won’t question what we’re being taught, we won’t question why we’re doing what we’re doing.

    I remember when I was 14, I couldn’t figure out why the maths problems we were learning to solve were being taught to us. I liked math, though I couldn’t understand why I was learning it. There was no practical application related to it. And this because I hadn’t been taught to learn about having a vision or a goal before setting out to achieve it. I saw that then, I still believe that now.

    Nothing I learned in school made sense, until I stopped doing things because I was told to do them.
    When I started doing things because I wanted to do them, then everything I was taught made sense. 

    “If there is too little demand on them (people), people are bored.” Csikszentmihalyi Mikahel

    Shepherds and sheep. 

    Boring people are bored when there isn’t much demand of them and they have no impulse to be interested. Sheep graze grass boringly when they aren’t asked to to anything. In and of themselves those people aren’t boring, they simply haven’t been taught to create interest or be interested, because they haven’t experienced enough significant pain. I’d say that also comes from a divide between their inner world and their outer world. 

    A shepherd on the other hand, will always have something to do, his livelihood depends on it. 

    If we learn how to use our time and make decisions for ourselves, we’ll very quickly come to the understanding that we don’t have time to be bored. We’re either curious, interested, creative, dealing with something…But bored doesn’t enter the equation. 

    Out of the life we live, we only have so much time.  When life is on our terms, we chose our time very carefully. 

    There’s no safety net. When we’ve bulit our life up from scratch we’ve taken the time to look at every little detail of why we want to live the life we’re living or working towards.

    I stayed in the same room I grew up in at my parents house, for more than 5 years give or take. 

    I was on social welfare for a while, but never for a minute was I bored. I was occupied, preoccupied, busy, interested, creative, understanding something, researching something, delving into books, reflecting…

    Bored doesn’t enter my vocabulary, because the life I lead is the life I chose to live. 

    Boring people get bored, interesting people get interested.

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  • “Adventures are dangerous, stop now!”

    In today’s world, we live in a culture where every single person you see is seemingly hyped up and
    ready to unload some form of verbal diatribe in your face. You know in advance they have something to sell to you, you know in advance that you’re going to mute the video once they’ve given the free information, and you know instantaneously that they’re going to preach at you and somehow hook you onto their trivial sales pitch.

    This is a major problem, not right now, but over a period of time, is that it creates a desensitisation about the importance of information we are portraying.

    People are lead to believe that if they simply talk in confident, strong and loud ways what they’re saying will catch an audiences attention and they will be able to make millions. And it works.

    Coaches and loud American public speakers have given a blueprint for the “Successful” public speaking path to become powerful and rich. So everyone applies it, regardless of if the message they’re trying to portray makes any sense, has any value to others. They’ve learn’t that they need to Create value for others and that the value is what makes people pay. But you can already see the intention behind the curtain: Money. Not peoples well-being, not truth, not a difficult story.
    No, their intention is money and it’s very clear, we sense it.

    Humanity seems to be pushing the boundaries just a little further every day, just a little bit further.
    Seeing where the limits are, seeing how far we can go and what we accept as a society.

    It’s exactly how I chose the title too, to captivate your attention. I apologise, I don’t enjoy being manipulative. But I guess I can justify the means as I’m trying to get peoples attention wrapped around the idea of “The boy who cried wolf” and this is exactly what we are facing as a society.

    Creating hype for meaningless information, just to get as many followers/money/sales has a negative long term effect upon human-beings. It’s been done for a long time, but on a small scale.
    Which is why it wasn’t too much of a problem. We know not to go back to a shop where a snake selling salesman talks you into stuff and end up carrying you along with his enthusiasm for your money.

    But now that we’re scaling information all over the world multiple times per hour,
    people are becoming more and more manipulative in their ways to capture your attention, retain it
    and ultimately sell you something. Which is a dangerous place to be. The amount of scammers using actual companies to trick people into handing over their bank details.
    The amount of adverts now scattered all over places which didn’t used to have them.
    The amount of AD solution we witness on a daily basis is a total overkill. Not to mention the
    waste of time you experience if you dare to clic on one…

    Most of all, the the fact we’re all becoming desensitised to what anyone is saying is becoming a real problem. People don’t hear us when we say something, when it’s said it’s not enough, it’s compared. The standard for human beings, being… perfect has risen a lot higher than human level and everyone is forced to overdo, overwork… We cannot live up to hyper function 100% all the time. Like a lightbulb if it functions above its regular capacity for too long, it burns out.

    Now, I’m not for underproducing, or against upping our standards or our capacities as human beings, but without a doubt, we must learn our own baseline. For the last 10 Years, I’ve strived
    to change that baseline, and I know without a doubt that more work, harder work, faster work,
    only works to an extent. Our baseline is what is natural for us. And as much as I’ve tested getting out of my comfort zone, and believe me I have.

    My highest state was when I peaked, and my expansion can only go as far as what I am capable at full force and effort.

    When I peaked, I was pushing myself as much as I could. I was running every single day or every 2/3 days, by interval. I was eating well, feeling well, doing well.. I had all the keys working in the doors I had opened to pursue. My hormones were well regulated. Etc.

    Yet, at my strongest point, I still had limitations. As much as I desired to push myself further and faster and stronger, there came a time where the car can only go at its fastest speed even if the pedal is glued to the floor…

    And over the last 10 years, I somehow always retreat back to my standard baseline. It’s just where I function best. Where I write best, where my mind functions best, where my performance is highest, where I create best. It’s all along that baseline.

    Under is a picture of Ray Dalio’s Hero’s Journey depicted in his book.

    As much as we expand in the Abyss, we discover new perspectives, and aspects about ourselves,
    the Abyss (at the bottom of the picture) is how far we go, in that abyss we encounter the metamorphosis and then we return to the boon which is essentially our baseline.

    In terms of standards, its highly important to point out that, as a society, a culture, our standards
    evolve to the point of how far outside our comfort zone we’re willing to go.

    In terms of discomfort I can endure a lot, in fact I’ve pushed myself so far I didn’t know I could come back. But I did. What isn’t taken into account is this: our mind can push us further, our soul can drive us, but our bodies can’t eternally keep up with the lack of limitations we have in our mind. And this is coming from someone who grew up without limitations and boundaries,
    as a kid I was essentially free to do anything I wanted. Then growing up, I had to impose my own boundaries after testing my natural limitations.

    Though, to undo those natural limitations, doesn’t always help. For example, as a long distance runner, I could run for hours, I could push myself fast and far. But if my knee gives in and I get hyper sharp pain in my knee, even with tones of exercises to reinforce it beforehand. That is a clear indication I must STOP. There are good pains in life, and there are bad pains.

    I sort of get the idea that people just think there are just good pains. Rony Coleman, pushed his limits, but ended up without a back, blew his knee’s out etc. He had no limits, and pushed and pushed, but his natural limitations were not taken into account.

    We’re not robots, and I feel like an entire generation of Crossfit warriors who are pumped up to the brim ready to break down walls as if they were army officials or navy seals in war combat, just don’t get the point here. Sure, we can push ourselves further, but at some point in your future.
    the identity you rely on so heavily upon right now because you’re “succeeding” and making shiny posts for the whole world to see, won’t be sustainable long term.

    Finding the most harmonious way to expand is probably a sure bet. But this idea of angry expansion, that everyone is going to war, that we all need to push further and harder and stronger and have a complete disregard for our natural limitations seems… foolish.

    And this coming from someone who is ambitious, driven and highly motivated to do the work.

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  • How to become bulletproof in a world designed to fragilize you

    If people can trigger you, they can control you. Which puts a very large emphasis on undoing our triggers so we can be fully in control of ourselves. If you can’t be triggered, you have power.

    In today’s world, we live in a seemingly snow flaky world where many are triggered by everything and anything. Most people don’t have social media immunity, as the very algorithms on which its based rely on the primal parts of our brains we have very little influence on.

    People can’t hold their own, and many have attention deficit. Even adults who used to have strong attention have lost their long term focus capacity. It’s as if we’re living through an era of mental and emotional fragility, and these fragilities are being exposed and exploited. Rather than physical war, we’re waging a war with exponential tech, a war for attention.

    At the end of high-school, back in 2012, I had somehow come to understand that if I didn’t go through as many triggering, scary, scheme confronting, phases to push my evolution beyond what I was, I’d find myself weak in the face of the any upcoming adversity.

    Of course, I had no idea of what was about to ensue in the world in front of us.
    I had no idea, was entirely clueless, of how our personal data would be used against us,
    that our curiosity would be transformed into attention which is then sold for Billions of Dollars.
    I had no idea that we’d become slaves to the agenda of Big Tech.

    But I have discovered a weapon. A powerful weapon which enables us to live freely.
    One that anyone can build for themselves. A powerful recipe that already resides within us and only needs to be enabled by our becoming conscious of it.

    It all started when I was 20. I’d just put an end to the relationship I was in. I wanted to suffer. Not because I’m some S&M addict, but because I’d understood that in suffering I’d understand and fortify my fragilities and sensitivities as they’d be exposed to all sorts of tests. I’d expose my weakness’s, and in doing so I’d be able to fortify them.

    And so, over the course of a 10 year trial and error, I understood this:

    1 – We are in control.
    We must control our bodies and minds. Our bodies are not in control of us. We have the capacity to make conscious decisions, even against what the heart says. The way we feel is no more no less than having our thoughts and actions and outcomes aligned with our values and beliefs. If our beliefs say we don’t like cats, our emotional response to a cat jumping on us won’t be as nice as if we possess positive beliefs about our furry friends.

    The same goes for most circumstances, relationships, outcomes, actions. If our internal blueprint doesn’t match the outcome of our actions, we won’t be highly satisfied. In fact going against our internal blueprint will prove stressful to our nervous system. As our control tower (brain) is programmed to do something specific, us consciously going against the program can prove… tiring.

    Once we know this, we also know that we can change our blueprint and plan. And in doing so, we can decide consciously upon what it is we want to achieve.
    -Can you lift your little finger? Can you wiggle your toe? If you can do those tiny movements, you can also decide to change the focus of your thoughts towards building the next Facebook, becoming the next Leonardo DiCaprio, or simply cooking up that piece of lamb you saw Gordon Ramsay present to you…-

    2- Confront fears, faulty beliefs and expose what doesn’t make sense.
    In confronting our fears, we ultimately overcome them. Which means that we’re not controlled by fears. Which means that no one can use our fears against us. Which means that we are in total control of ourselves.
    Of course, in practical application, the confrontation of fears isn’t as easy as we think. Our primary impulses, our desires, our actions and so on can be masked, or coated with years and social conditioning, by family, peers, institutions and so on. The fears can be part of our foundational base. This makes discovering them, exposing them, opening the window and letting the light in on those faulty schemes, a lot more difficult than simply deciding to do so. The deeper the schematic is, the more changes are created in unearthing it. This free’s up energy, shifts our foundational ground, and creates for biases in our perception. Which, when undone can be feel liberating, freeing, or even allow us to perceive certain things in a very different way. We’ll have to undust the surfaces, confront our current states and contradicting circumstances. And allow ourselves the courage to be vulnerable and honestly look at our depths.

    3- Being purposefully wrong.
    In going deep within our subconscious patterns, doubting, and living in our zones of discomfort, we see how we tick, we discover what we know is true, and we also expose and discover what is false. Though, in going through the process of doubting and purposefully making the mistakes, we get to learn about new aspects, we get to learn about new paths. We get to see where we are wrong. And in being purposefully wrong, we get to consolidate and fortify where we are right. I believe it’s the co-founder of Instagram who once said that when he has an Idea. His next step is to try to disprove it in any way possible, and get other people to prove it wrong or discover it’s faults.

    4- Unfamiliar territory.
    In uncharted territory, we are exposed to our functional patterns. Patterns which have always worked for us. And those patterns are then exposed to practical application in different circumstances which we don’t recognize. We are then led to adapt and course correct and update our way of thinking. As the ways we’ve always used don’t work for us in achieving the outcomes we’re looking for.

    A car might be great on a flat road, but how will it cope on mud, off road, or slippery ice conditions?
    It’s almost essential that was then test our personal mettle to see our primary assumptions, and discover where we are wrong, where we are right, and how we can correct these assumptions to make them more accurate.

    5) Purposefully letting go, letting the world or universe take control and letting go of our need to push and force circumstances.

    While it’s a scary thing, letting go and letting things happen to you, it’s also a good thing. As we get to learn about what happens in the unknown. We get to see what happens if we’re not in control. We get to see how important being in control of ourselves really is. If we allow ourselves to observe how others are in control, we can better attempt it ourselves. We get to witness the importance of having a plan, to experience the duality of what we don’t want, and that can be used as fuel to get what we do want.
    Without fuel we can’t go where we want to go.
    Though, this being said, without boarders and limitations, a canal (water path) channels water in a specific direction. Without precise limitations the water would simply flow where ever it can, rather than where men intended it to go. In the case of humans, it’s similar. If we don’t know how to channel energy, we’ll simply adapt and do the best we can with what we’ve been taught or have discovered. It is by observing the neighbors with their ways of channeling, that we can better channel our energy for specific circumstances.

    6) What triggers us, reveals what needs to be healed.

    When we get triggered, we witness an emotion. A sort of rebellion against what ever is being said – outside of ourselves- by someone else. We witness our fight or flight response as if some predator was to endanger us. Only, there are no dangers so great in our immediate reality, that we need to defend ourselves. Mostly by punching them in the face for disagreeing with us… Except if they are being violent or entirely inhuman – and even then… the act is questionable – which we could most probably disengage from and walk away. Being someone who has a deep passion for what is true and what is right, I simply won’t have someone tell me what I’m supposed to think, or try to pull wool over my eyes. And in that instance I will question and debate and most probably talk their ears off and wangle my way out of their imposition.

    Another great way I have discovered is that if something grabs a hold of my mind. My first intention is to question what and how it has hooked my attention? And secondly, what is more important and urgent for me to do in this precise instant(than react directly)? Are my actions actions, or are my actions reactions which have been predicted in advance? Am I Re-acting, or am I consciously deciding on the outcome of my physical actions? Have I been conditioned to act in a specific way or have I decided to use it the way I want to use it, or act the way I want to act because it suits me better?

    In relation to dating, have you been conditioned to swipe because the profile you’re looking at doesn’t fit the criteria you have been led to believe applies to you? Or are you swiping for reasons you have carefully thought about refusing? Are you swiping because they look a certain way or emit a specific outcome you’re seeking? How honest can you be with yourself? Or are you swiping because you’re genuinely interested in discovering and enjoying a conversation with someone you know nothing at all about?

    Do you run away from confrontations because it procures an uncomfortable sensation and feeling? Or do you confront people regardless of how you and they feel because you are set to fight for or arrive at a specific outcome?

    Are you passive in your life and life happens to you? Or do you mold your life around who you are?

    By stepping back for a second, we get to witness that, after years of pressure, years of thought, trial and error, pain, fear, and purposefully overcoming inner demons. We arrive at a state where, instead of the outside world dictating how we should feel, we arrive at a state where we dictate the outcome of what we want and need to impress on the outside world.

    If you don’t get triggered anymore, you’ve found your power and mission. You’ve become grounded and clear. And above all, you’ve let go of the fear of making your own decisions.

    Another set of rules.
    1) To become immune to the algorithms, discover how they influence you.
    2) Question the effect of each piece of content you witness upon your thinking.
    3) Pause social media and think for yourself. (Reading helps in this as you direct your thought process intentionally towards an outcome you decide rather than having algorithmic content flows guide you towards liking or unfollowing. You’re empowering an algorithm every time you use it.)
    4) Go silent. Go underground. Question why you think why the way you think, and seek to arrive at the source of your current conclusions and comprehend why your life is the way it is. (If your life is not related to where you want it to be, are you sure you’re in control?)
    5) Don’t be afraid of being an outcast. We’re all alone. We’re all on our own in our own bubble. Being afraid to let go of the train of events which is imposed upon us through FOMO, we get on the band wagon of letting TV tell us the visions to think all over again. (I thought you were past watching TV…)
    6) Be alone. Find where your passion lies. Find what you enjoy and what turns your mind on. Find where you feel your best.
    7) Find harmony with your surroundings and build from there.
    8) Be the creator of your mind, your world and produce content instead of only ingesting and spiting it out without control.
    9) Be highly selective about the content you put in your mind. You don’t eat dog shit off the side of the road. Why would you put that same dog shit you see consistently on social media in your mind? Question what you eat in physical form. But also question what you ingest in mental form. Change the content, change your life.
    10) Curate your surroundings. Control your environment. Select your entourage.
    And know the outcomes you want. If you’re not controlling what goes in your head, others will and they don’t specifically care about the effect they have on you (for the most part).

    Master your mind – master your life. What we put into our mind, is what our mind gives back. Like a blender, or a food processor, we put in fruit and it gives us fruit juice. Read about cooking, you’ll think about cooking. Think about helping others, ideas about helping others will ensue.

    Put in dumb tic-tok dances and some fear ridden news about covid and you’ll get back
    some depressed manga make-up artist injecting vaccines into her arm with a 10 Foot needle, in your thoughts.

    Select carefully…
    2+2 =4. Simple… Get it? Ok, Action!

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  • What satiates you, appreciates you

    The unique thing about time is that it is irreversible and irreplaceable. Once lost, you cannot replace it you cannot add to it. Like an ice-cube, time is constantly melting away. Our time is ephem…

    The unique thing about time is that it is irreversible and irreplaceable.
    Once lost, you cannot replace it you cannot add to it. Like an ice-cube, time is constantly melting away. Our time is ephemeral. Here now, gone tomorrow. Which means that our lives are scarce, even if there are 7.8Bn of us. We must then, inject our lives with enjoyment and a sense of appreciation. We must cultivate our energy and health, our creativity and productivity. Doing so, we become better, healthier, live longer, we live better and interact better. Everything appreciates.

    It is in our current perception of present circumstances that we can grow our experiences into 
    a) meaningful, b) fulfilling and c) purpose driven, enjoyable and worth the time and attention we exchange for the mediums we engage in. It is how we engage our focus that defines our way of expression. Do maths, and you’ll think in maths. Read sci-fi and you’ll think in sci-fi.
    Study law, and you’ll speak like a lawyer. This goes on for everything you put your attention into.

    A recent example I’ve observed is gaming and stock markets. Play a game, and while you’re playing the game your attention isn’t focussed on existential or productive skills but you’re focussed on skills relative to the game. When you stop playing, your mind is then stuck speaking in the language you use to process and understand the game.
    If you’re not thinking but simply reacting, your mind then becomes very blank once you’ve stopped playing. The same goes for the stock market. If you spend a lot of time reading about stocks, you’ll speak like a trader. If you spend a lot of time in the market you’ll act and react like a trader. Though, if you use your mind for anything else, you’ll most inevitably become a tad numb or even feel empty. Especially from the view point of creativity. Even though your creativity is then focussed upon the finance area.
    You are being financially creative. The language is just that of finance instead of personal development or what ever area you tend to focus on.

    Your ideas are simply the translation of accumulated attention on something specific.
    Focus on bitcoin, you’ll likely know more about it than the average Joe. Focus on the history of artists through time, you’ll likely know a lot about Art, the tendencies and creating fine art its self.

    These mediums can be either entertainment such as Netflix or Games, or they can be productive such as Reading, Podcast listening, searching for answers, training in a specific domain.

    There are only two views to take into account.

    What is your consumption/Input? (i.e. eating, imbibing, accumulating, digesting, putting into yourself…)? – books on Coding, Psychology, maths, economics, love, spirituality… Netflix, movies, podcasts, news websites…

    Is your consumption grounded and productive? When you compound the “…” (fill in the blank) does the consumption compound up, add up, grow, build up to something positive? Can you use the build up in an a positive way? Is it benefitting you? Are you adding to your life, or subtracting from your life? If you’re subtracting, then you are in a fear based consumption or an output.

    Is your consumption fear based? Is the underlying psychology intended to get you to react, engage, clic…? Are you subconsciously feeling something which is getting you to act in a specific way, which might not serve you.
    I.e. you want to buy a stock at 200 and you’ve calculated and believe it will go up to 250. But the news is telling you that it will go down and that there will be a market crash. The news could be incentivised by parties against your particular stock. Which influences you through their selective wording and sense of urgency and pending apocalyptic descriptions of outcomes. And you end up selling based upon the influence of the news even if the stock its self goes up.

    Negative input can be binge watching Netflix for hours on end, endlessly wasting time. It can be playing video games for hours on end, just to pass the time. While time passes, which you cannot get back you flounder your energy, focus and time against the instantaneous pleasure of killing an enemy or making a man jump from one block to another. Though ultimately, as soon as you step away from the screen dispensing your input, the information you’ve been imbibing becomes worthless, unless you’re in the army and your video game is a simulation of how to act in real time for example..

    What is your output? (i.e. creating, speaking, expressing, painting, shouting, crying, masturbation (wasted energy)/Intercourse (productive energy), Writing, Weight training, Walking, Running, swimming, singing, acting, etc… ) Positive output. If your output is positive, it adds something of value, it makes the lives of people better, it makes people feel good, it serves a purpose, it helps. A positive output can be building your body up to be stronger because you are weak. So adding good food, discipline and will power will create an output for the weightlifting input. I.e. you’re making an effort which is constructive (if done properly). The positive output will be the result of lifting weights: a stronger body, feeling more energetic, feeling more confident…

    A positive output, will be created from either a positive input or a negative input transformed into a positive output (mindset). You’re essentially compounding, information, experience, or simply insights and creating something. I.e. A blog post, a book, a music cd, a film, a better body, a better mindset, a vision, a product, mathematical spreadsheets, a law essay… and so on.
    Essentially, a positive output will add value, growth, positive evolution, serve a positive outcome, innovate, build, upon something and your life will appreciate in value rather than depreciateNegative output. If you’re caught up in negative output, you’re most likely in a cycle of diminishing returns. Most likely the effort, value, intention, attention, time… you’re spending (output) or exchanging (input) towards something isn’t worth the exchange. What you have is worth more than what you are getting. Thus your worth is devaluing based on the output you are exchanging against said input.

    Let’s take a radical point of view. We all have energy. This energy is either cultivated and grown, or spent and diminished. Our energy, can be used to work out and make our lives better or workout to an extreme and wear ourselves out. We can go at our own pace and Grow our strength by regulating our input and output for efficient and effective growth. Or we can go all in and burn our bodies out then rendering ourselves physically incapable for periods of time while we recover. Is it adding to our physical strength, stamina and overall power and well-being, or subtracting from it?

    In engaging in instant pleasure, we then have less physical energy, which makes us weaker and less physically dominant, less confident, less mentally acute, and if done to an excess can weaken our bodies, health and immune system. Though, if cultivated without spending it, you can grow your health, your wellbeing, your mental acuteness, your capacity to concentrate, perform… It all grows. This is not a question of sex but allostasis (management).

    You’re regulating your bodies energies, just like your financials. You either spend on instant pleasure like shopping, gaggets, technology or whatever or you save and grow your options for something better later on. The same is likely for the body. If you spend your downtime wasting your energy, when time comes to meet someone, or perform in a sport of whatever it is, you’ll be less effective than if you had saved and cultivated your energy during that time.

    This is why loveless relationships, based solely on lust and desire and selfishness will have two generally similar mindsets. One will be selfish and want only money and the other will want only sex. The exchange for extremes becomes the medium of value for people with radical store-holds of a form of wealth the other party does not have. A very beautiful woman and a very rich man. One values the wealth, the other values the beauty. A more balanced approach, less extreme, will be two individuals who have self love, some money, some looks and complete each other in a subtle way. There is still an exchange, it’s simply not as pronounced because both parties have most areas covered.

    We can buy a cheap crypto stock with the potential of it growing in value, thus exchanging our Fiat(euros/dollars) against X crypto. Once that exchange is made, our euro is 0 and our X crypto is, let’s say 10. If your crypto loses in value, if you exchange it back to your fiat currency, your 10 X crypto will be worth 5€ instead of the initial 10€. Our output has created a smaller input because it wasn’t allocated correctly to a stock witch had growth.

    You’re essentially filling your mind with what you focus on. So if you spend your time watching the tellytubbies or tiktok, your mind then becomes consumed with trivial information which doesn’t serve a productive outcome down the road. The same goes for worries. If you spend your time worrying, you’re essentially giving attention to the weeds of your gardens mind. You’re growing them by giving your attention( sunlight) and planting more by engaging in worrying.

    The same also goes for mental consumption. If you spend your time reading fear based articles, fear based youtube channels, or anything based on fear with the incentive to engage you emotionally to react. You’re basically compounding information which makes you feel bad and compounding it, growing it and then you reach a state of being you’d call “depressed” or “anxious”.

    If you want to become a writer, read a lot. The reading will create your ideas. Your ideas will become fuel for you to create. Your creation will demand iterations. Your iterations will bring you to new highs and abilities from multiple cycles of trial and error with the creative capacity fuelling the activity.
    Stop reading, and you’ll have less fuel. Fuel can also come from practice in experience combined with reading about the experience to make better sense of it. Practice and theory. When achieving a balance, the outcome becomes greatness and people enjoy the production of your work after the many iterations you haven’t shared with them.

    To become a runner, you must live around running and engage with running in a way which is beneficiary to the practice its self. If you engage in running, and end up weightlifting, you’ll slow yourself down, become heavier. If you engage in running, you’ll create a reality around running. Stretching, your nutrition, your recovery time, your knowledge, your water intake, your mentality, your bodily awareness, your stamina and endurance, your lungs and breathing techniques…

    To become a video gammer, you must then build up your mindset. Your game sense, your nervous system must be intact, your stamina and energy must be high and even nervy in order to make the best split-second reactions in order to take advantage of your current set of virtual circumstances. In order to become better, you must train your aim, your strategy, your mental capacity, your skills and tactics. You must also train your body to become strong and resilient. Your nervous system must be healthy and able. You must have a good amount of energy.

    To become a trader. You must understand yourself optimally. You must look at your tendencies. Your emotional biases, your euphoric tendencies. Your positive beliefs and negative beliefs. Your mind is your tool as your judgement is your success or your downfall. Your primary amount of money is secondary.
    As, if you grow it wisely you will reach overall growth.

    Back to growth. If you want to become the best version of yourself. You must focus on the core most important pillars which will support you becoming that. Mentality: Your mentality will be either pessimistic or optimistic. It will impact your attention and if you’re willing to grow and create, or destroy and shrink. Attention & Allocation: Your attention will define how well you make decisions, and your decisions impact your actions.

    Your Actions will create ripple effects: Either positive or negative depending on the outcome your mentality is focussed on. Which means that, your actions will either grow your circumstances positively, thus adding to your foundation. Or your actions will subtract from your foundations. You’re essentially destroying something. Smokers try to kill a feeling by smoking. Drinkers try to feel something by drowning themselves in alcohol. And so on.

    Your positive actions will have an effect in building your Energy, your Health, your StrengthWellbeing through your Outputs and Inputs.
    Your negative actions, through your intention to self destruct somehow, will contribute to weakeningbelittlinglesseningdeflating the pressure of input.

    One word, “regulation“.

    We need to regulate ourselves, our energy. And consciously chose what we add and consume rather than do it blindly, unconsciously. Our choices have consequences, and even if we cannot see the direct effects right now, the results will come out at some point. And if we don’t strive to think about a specific outcome, we will regret not thinking about the direction we desired in the first place, as our thoughts will
    give way to other unrelated areas.

    In order to fully appreciate, be that our wellbeing, health, our muscles, or our financial net-worth. It’s important to understand why we’re taking action in the first place.

    Everyone is running after money. Which means that those who control money, control those running after it. If you’re in control of your money, you’re not controlled by it. Or at the very least unattached to money, you won’t be as affected by it.

    The same goes for your energy, your physical ability. If you are defined by your circumstances, you have no power over them. Rather than Why how What. Being defined by our circumstances is a What, How, Why type scenario. Which means that you’re a product of your environment, instead of the environment around you a product of your vision. You have no effect on your surroundings.

    We are impressed or impress upon others. This is a decision. Are we here simply to witness and flow through life or are we here to make a lasting impression, bettering the fate of those around us? Are we here to uplift and inspire? Or are we here simply for the ride?

    So, it stands to reason that in order to appreciate, we must:

    1. Recognize the full worth of (something/someone).
    2. Understand (a situation) fully; grasp the full implications of.

    If you are to Recognize or Understand, you must Search or Research to identify or acknowledge what you’re seeking to appreciate.

    1. Identify (someone or something) from having encountered them before; to know again.
    2. Acknowledge the existence, validity, or legality of.

    Which comes back to mentality and attention before action. We allocate our attention and focus to what we enjoy or where our pain point is. If we enjoy and are satiated by what we are imbibing we want more. If we want more, we grow in that area.

    In order to appreciate, we must lose or be without it in the first place. As we cannot fully appreciate something if we don’t know its worth and in order to understand the worth of something, we must lose it.
    I.e. a) If you lose your health and have to build it back up, you then appreciate your health once you regain it. b) If you lose a loved one, you recognise their value once you’re exposed to the loss of their entity. c) If you’ve always had money, you cannot see it’s worth until you have none. It is when you understand it’s worth that you can appreciate what you have. d) You cannot get more, if you don’t appreciate what you have already. Attraction is about magnification rather than subtraction.

    What satiates you will drive you to appreciate yourself and where you are putting your information/energy.

    If you’re always focussing on lack, what you don’t have, what others have. If you’re always focussing your attention on how bad you are, or how little you’re worth. You only grow the number of examples you have in your head to define yourself with.

    In defining yourself in this particular way, or defining your environment in a particular way, you’re depreciating the value of either yourself, your money, your environment or those around you. If you depreciate those around you, you don’t appreciate them. If you depreciate them, you’re belittling them, reducing them, essentially killing yourself and those around.

    If you love the people around you, appreciate them. Be positive about them. Admire them. Compliment them. Help them. Grow them. Invest in them.

    If you don’t love the people around you, withdraw yourself from the equation. Otherwise you’re essentially losing your own value and energy in the process of devaluing them. (It’s about your energy and focus, not about what they are doing.)

    Appreciation is about love and Love is about living life well.

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  • Don’t be a pickup artist, be a relationship master

    Hello you!

    In anticipation to the direction I believe we’ve been going in and for too long… I’d like to offer you a fresh perspective upon what you might be wanting. (Rather than what you think you want…)

    You see, where I used to be was a lot less satisfying than where I am currently. And with retrospect, I may be able to share insight into my current enthusiasm.

    I started out learning The Game by Neil Strauss. With a high desire to be the centre of attention for every single girl on earth. To say I was greedy for attention wouldn’t even start to sum it up.
    The reason I wanted every single girl on earth, resonated very clearly with the fact I wanted everyone,
    because I didn’t know which one what I wanted. This comes from a lack of experience of self.

    So, I set out with a mission to become the best pickup artist I could be. I won’t say I was a natural at the game, but I picked it up pretty quickly and didn’t really need to practice what was told, I just needed to become aware of what the book said in order to empower what I already knew.

    Over the course of secondary and then sales school, high-school, then Uni, I went out with more than 70 girls, which isn’t much of a number in comparison with many players out there. Though, over the course of 9 years, it makes out about 7 girls per year. Which makes for periods of not being with a girl about 2 months max.

    I started out as an introverted kid, who was shy and afraid of expressing himself and gradually I become more and more confident, to the point of feeling socially invincible or in other words Arrogance.

    I started out with a very clear desire to be loved, but this was also intertwined with the need to impress my boys and show how much of a man I was. To the detriment of the girls I encountered. Sorry…
    To seduce a girl into being emotionally dependent on me was something I was guilty of. I was vulnerable inside and highly afraid of being alone, so by any means, I’d figure out a way for her to Not leave me.

    But when we focus on how to make someone not leave us, the NOT isn’t visible to our minds eye and we end up making them leave us. This is why it’s important to focus on how to make them stay with us, or more importantly, How to make them feel like they want to stay with us (we can’t make anyone do what they don’t want to do already).

    I grew up with my mum and my sister, which allowed me to understand women a lot more, or at least speak their language and comprehend their intentions.

    I reached a moment near the end of my “Pick-up career” when I discovered that people like to be entertained. None of my relationships where deep relationships. I was unable to share any depth.
    I could share insights, I could share jokes and make them laugh, I was quick on my feet to understand how social dynamics worked.

    BUT, when time came to move on to the next level, even if I wanted it… I was unable to fully open up.
    Not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t. I was completely unaware of the depths of why I felt the way I felt. Like a hungry moron sitting at a fish and chips shop eating and eating until his belly explodes because he doesn’t know what full feels like.

    I needed to discover myself and understand myself fully before engaging with any girl. I can explain how in another article. But for times sake, I’ll say this:

    In order to be a man, we must first understand our personal sensitivity. It helps us to be in sync with who we are and who we’re attracted to. Once we know our feminine side, we must go all in with our masculine side. Our feminine side will underline/contrast our masculinity. And in order to understand our masculinity, we must become highly aware of it in order to empower and fortify it.

    A boy should not enter the dating game before he has fully discovered himself. At the risk of traumatising girls and wasting everyone’s time. It is only once he has fully understood that a relationship comes as a sense of responsibility and deep care for the other persons well-being. It’s an agreement to step fully in to your Masculinity, while she steps fully into her Femininity. It’s an assignment to do what you do best,
    be the man.

    Otherwise, you have to balance out your internal duality of Masculinity and Femininity. And it’s tiring to do something which isn’t meant for us. It’s not entirely natural for a man to be feminine and a woman to be masculine. You’ll notice that consistent people are very rarely out of character in reference to their gender.

    A boy shouldn’t attempt to love a woman if he doesn’t fully understand how to be a man, and which role he play’s best. Otherwise the woman he is with will end up picking up his end of the work. She’ll have to step into her masculinity, which is stressful for her. If a woman lets a boy in, he will like a feral cat, rip the bedsheets, tear the curtains, shit on the rug, and eat up all her food.
    By all means, don’t shit on the rug! Don’t shit on the doorstep.

    A woman is a person whom you must protect and cherish, she will keep you aligned with your role as a man, and she will keep you growing. If you can’t suffer the growing pains, what makes you think you can waste her time? The growing pains can come as Nagging, and being whiny, and asking for more, and testing your limits to see if you can maintain a cool disposition and get shit done.

    Are you man enough to understand what is demanded of you? She is helping you to evolve to become your best self. She is highly perceptive of you and she is very clear about what triggers you. Like a dog sniffing out your fear, she senses what triggers you. But if she triggers you, – you already know what’s coming don’t you?- if she triggers you, she has power over you! It’s up to you to master yourself enough to not get triggered.

    A woman wants her man to be the best version for himself and for herself. She is the emotional captain the owner, and you are the Chief executive officer. You execute and you do it well.
    Or let me ask you? Are you in a relationship to just knock her socks of and then fuck off next door to fuck her best friend? If you’re only in it for the sex, you’re a boy and not a man.

    Have empathy and care for the people you encounter and exchange with, especially if it’s intimate.

    People may be oblivious as we live in a culture of over-sexualised “icons” preaching that it’s ok to just go out and f**k… though sharing your sex life with someone has effects on your mind, your well-being. Who you let into your life can change your entire internal balance. Chose wisely.

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  • Mirror souls

    Somehow we survive, we overcome deep dark and sinuous journeys our soul sets on. Along the way,
    soul connexions are formed and our depths are triggered. Our deepest traumas come up to the surface,
    shoving out of its way most all constructs, logic or rational. It’s like that moment when we fall head over heels in love and our brain is fully discarded so that one soul can mirror the other in all its potential clarity.

    Though, when we overcome those deep dark and sinuous journeys, we’re left with remnants and shards in our feet. In pain and fear we build fortifications around the idea we have of ourselves. We vow to never go back to those deep dark places.

    We numb our fears with food and sex, we become addicted to externalities which somehow provide a sense of appeasement to the sort of turbulence we face within. Something to take our attention off of that painful scary sensation of nothing. We construct illusion so that we can escape that uncomfortable feeling within. And then we forget and move on.

    Along the road, in our total illusion, we encounter versions of who we used to be, we encounter love in the form of a short friendship, or we discover the turbulence mirrored in the other and hope to heal them or run as fast as we can.

    Mirror souls. They are attracted to us when our soul calls out like a dormant beacon under a millennia of overgrowth. Sometimes we’re not even aware. The subtle finite feelings underneath a mountain aren’t always felt, but they are there calling out through time and space.

    A subtle change in heart beat, an invisible and intangible frequency change that suddenly, like a shooting star passing outside our window in the night sky. If we look closely enough, we get to see it. If we look closely.

    There are lucid beings, who have been buried alive under generations of psychological inheritance, numbed out, drowning at the bottom of their personal ocean. Waiting for a shift, a tilt in the axioms of life.
    After years, they’re set free and like rockets they fire up into the sky to shine their light.
    Never dimmed, never put out, always burning.

    We meet mirror souls, passing by in conversations. In a short train ride, a flirt, a moment where time stops and two intertwine, even if miles away. The exchange of frequency and words, enough to captivate attention on the other side of the earth. And for a second the world shifts it’s axis around them. And then again, they release as they’ve learned their subtle lesson. The exchange of essential knowledge, a change of pattern, something safe, something appeasing.

    We open up, and then we must let go of what we’ve shared, so we can better move along in the direction we’re destined to. Parts of ourselves which no longer serve us, identities we no longer hold on to, emotions we must let evaporate..

    A warm friend, a healing friend, a friend who disappears into the night on a soft evening.

    If you liked this article, feel free to support my writing with buymeacoffee 🙂

  • Embracing creativity over pursuing money

    It’s very easy to get caught up in the easy exchange of effort and time against an amount of money.But we must also acknowledge that our time and energy are more precious than the money we receive.

    We believe we have options most of the time, given the circumstances we experience.
    Our heads are “swollen” with the illusion of material abundance and security and the only tangible power we believe we have comes from money, a value that everyone seems to enjoy.

    Most often, you’ll observe that landlords would rather call the police if you’re not paying the rent, rather than believe in the bigger picture of your creative schemes.
    Money will come, I just need time!“

    We then doubt our vision and our creative process, because we know we are “capable” of holding a job which would take up most of our time and energy. If we give in to the idea of taking a job, it goes against everything our vision and belief system stands for. It also makes clearly abundant that seeking a job is a clear translation of the fact that doubt rules your life, rather than a confident belief that what you are striving for will make sense in the long run.

    Although this “hold on until the storm passes” attitude, based of beliefs, also has downsides. And one doesn’t decide to be creative, they simply are. It would be far easier to chose a good University, passing a diploma, getting a “secure job” and working until you can kick your shoes off and live by the beach… But that doesn’t work for a creative. Being creative has downsides one must acknowledge and accept first and foremost, because they define how the individual functions. If I was to say “FLY!”, you’d look at me and think I was bonkers. This is because Flying isn’t part of how you function as a human-being. The distinction of how an individual functions also applies for people.
    We are all singular and no two people are alike, even if they are identical twins!

    As a creative, I often encounter a downside with jobs, but most specifically any action or intention to directly pursue money. I cannot keep it up, it saturates me beyond sanity. My creative juices stagnate and I feel numb. I start to see the cogs in the machine of how the business works and it gets as repetitive as Taylorism.

    The blind pursuit for money isn’t sustainable for me. My nervous system seems to be a highly sensitive tool. One too sensitive for the ups and downs of the markets, the hustle and bustle of everyday jobs or anything which doesn’t require inner growth?

    It does however require me seeking to understand things in my own way, at my own speed. Letting curiosity and interest drive me towards a personal comprehension of such and such focus, undisturbed by external deadlines or the possibility of being fired or expelled if the results I discover aren’t enough.

    All of this means that, jumping through hoops to please a hierarchy doesn’t work well for creatives. Success and fame and anything related to “making it” in the world,
    simply aren’t compatible with sensitive independents with the need to go at their own pace and discover the fruits of their own path. Pursuing money head on will simply result in being miserable. What creatives do need to pursue though is any form of quality creative outputs and developing inner confidence around their expressive skills.

    As an introvert pointing out the difficulties I experience, agoraphobia comes to mind. Not that I am scared of anyone in particular, but that my nervous system gets triggered simply by going shopping for a couple of hours. I get home, put the shopping away and get into bed. My body has considerably tensed up since only a few hours prior when I was leaving the house. And this is a recurring pattern I get anytime there is a social event, or simply being seen outside the house. Hence why I run at night.

    I am not able to “Force” things, and force an outcome to “become” what I want it to be.
    To go out and get it, demands more energy than I have and I’ll end up sleeping more than regular people.

    As much as this leads to energetic despair, there are solutions which can be remedied as long as we have freewill and the capacity to endure moments of doubt.

    And where the hell is my freewill in all of this?!

    Having a strong will, being told what to do can prove difficult. Though, there are two sides to not wanting to be told what to do. The first can stem from fear and often goes a little like “Because someone in my past has hurt me and somehow they were in a position to tell me what to do, and they abused that power. Now I don’t listen to anyone, because only I know best.” We can thank our parents we are so strong…
    Or, we have a strong vision and from repeated experience we learn to cancel out the noise everyone around us tends to make while they project their fears, and negative experiences upon the outcome of our path (which is an entirely different one with different skills, different beliefs and different perceptions…).

    Though having a strong will and being creative can seem incredible, this also has a downside. I cannot force myself if I don’t want to do something. As I’ve learn’t to listen to my higher self and to listen to my body and what I feel. I often find that doing something I don’t want to do, is more reflective of my intuition telling me not to do it, than it is me being lazy. But this leads to a larger questions…

    Why don’t I want to do that specific thing? Is it a fear or actual conscious decision making? And Are my fears ruling the outcomes of what I am striving for?

    A while back I read a good quote, and if I remember it correctly, it resembles something like:

    ” The need for radical independence comes from trauma/ or unrecognized hurt.”
    I’m probably butchering the quote, but it goes something like this.

    I have the knowledge in mind, I have the understanding, and I can take action upon what I want to do. Though when it comes to being consistent, my nervous system sends me to bed beyond stressed. It’s a nightmare. Being locked in a prison of beliefs I cannot seem to alter. And believe me, I spend all of my time focused on digging deep into my belief system to understand why I’m the way I am.

    How can I change my physiological beliefs in order to change the outcome of how my body reacts? And is that even possible?

    A few years back, I read about NLP and The game. The idea of practicing something entirely counter-intuitive gave the actors of the practice outcomes and entirely different results than they were initially getting had they not engaged in it. Though this begs more questions:

    Do we have a natural, base-line state, which is normal and comfortable for us? A state, which, once we let go, is sustainable. Not a state which, if we stop maintaining effort, crumbles away and leaves us with what we initially had (which counters the concept of effort.).

    In order to discover if I had a baseline state, I decided to go find my rock bottom,
    which I like to call walking through fire. I wanted to find my lowest point to see what I was made of, and ultimately what would stick.Walking through fire has the characteristics of burning anything or anyone who isn’t supposed to be in our life.

    This can also translate as a process in order to see who’s real or not. I believe everyone goes through it at some point. Though, I also believe that the earlier we go through it, the easier life is in the long run. Imagine learning to walk when you’re old as opposed to when you’re young, if you fall your bones would break and the recovery time would take forever. It’s better to discover if we have a soul early on in life rather than the 10 last minutes of our life. It makes for a more harmonious journey.

    And even though it opens your eyes to what works and what doesn’t, thus cutting away the superficial unproductive relations, activities, paths, we once thought we needed, but no longer do. It opens up a more adapted, harmonious, peaceful approach to living our life, in sync with who we are.

    To the external eye, the idea of narrowing down our opportunities and enlarging our depths in specific areas can seem near stupid. Especially in a world where More is admired, and less is just… well less. But this perception doesn’t work for everyone, especially those of us who enjoy more minimalist type lifestyles.

    So what can we do to survive in a world which wants more, when what you create is enough, but not for others?

    Hatching down on one’s vision and holding tight to that north star can do wonders.
    Obviously, going down the rabbit hole and uncovering our Pandora’s box free’s us from living in illusion, but also disables the generic life “everyone” else seems to have. We become specialists about ourselves. After narrowing down what suits us better, doing anything and everything doesn’t fit anymore. This is a good thing. It’s like having a generic supermarket suit and a tailor made Italian suit. One fits perfectly and it even makes us feel good as a result, while the other makes us look shabby and out of place.
    It comes down to consciousness.

    With the narrowing of external opportunities, other dimensions open up within between our ears. Which, in contrast, opposes anything forced and unflowing. In other words, trimming off anything which doesn’t enable flow. Meaning, having the ultimate circumstances for peak condition productivity. So, cutting away the trivial stuff which doesn’t make 100% sense and align with who we are is actually good if we want to be productive.

    I’m all for Forcing circumstances in my favor, but every time I do I seem to make my life worse. It’s when I don’t do anything at all and let life happen that my life gets better.
    I.e. Letting go of control./ focussing on what I’m curious about/ doing what is natural for me.

    All of this enables creativity… it helps to materialize / manifest circumstances. It also confirms that supporting my vision is more important than brute force, to confirm to others that I’m doing something. By investing time, energy and even money into creativity and believing in myself, I’m almost garanteed to succeed in creating an art through my prefered medium of expression.

    Then it comes down to external factors. Other people’s expectancies and how much time you have to be in an illimited fram of mind without others enforcing what they want you to do on you. It comes down to protecting your personal space and attention.

    Miles Davis, a wildly reknown jazz artist, became bitter as he became a Rockstar. In becoming so he could no longer simply create his art. The subtle nuance here is that, once you become a commodity, or once you become a product, your creativity is no longer demanded, it’s simply about production and execution rather than the creative process. Which translates as your endurance being more important than your individual spark. The repetition of something meant to only last the time of its initial experience drains all form of emotion from it.

    You know when you find a song that makes you feel a certain way, and you love the transcending bubble of euphoria you experience in it’s discovery. But, then you repeat it over and over and over, and after a week the song makes you nautious.

    The letting go of emotion is a onetime thing. The process is the same everytime.
    But the emotion its self is different due to it being more of less deep within you,
    and different synaptic connections at different levels attached to things more or less important to you.

    This leads to the inevitable conclusion that individuality and authenticity cannot be captured and reproduced without losing creative magic. In order to create art one has to be unknown, invisible or at least not pressurized and forced to produce results by any external influence. Which is the exact opposite of a job. Creativity thrives in freedom.

    Another idea comes to mind where Jim Carry expresses he wishes everyone can be rich and famous to see that being rich isn’t the solution. And many other examples come to mind.

    Adam Westbrook in his Vimeo micro-series narrates the beautiful concept of Painting in the dark. I found these videos around 7 years ago, while I was still in school. Westbrook describes that in order to create a masterpiece, one has to be willing to not have any recognition for a long time. In “Range” by David Epstein, Vincent Van Gogh, spent years being unsuccessful trying a vast number of things before finding painting as his preferred medium of expression and near invisible as failures in the eyes of society.
    Even Leonardo DaVinci had this process. Where he’d accumulate work over time, only to look back and see the extent of what he was to create next.

    The idea that something is an obligation and forcefully done, takes away the magic in the creation process. We become somewhat dependent on performing at a standard others set, rather than letting the creativity and inspiration surge on it’s own, when its ready.

    In a previous post, I explained how the quality of the information and the quantity mattered just as much, if not more than the output. Just like when we eat food, eating quality food will give us better health and well-being. Force feeding our minds, just like ducks are forcefed for foigras, leads us to over-saturate and produce on time,
    but not at the quality we’d hope for, or with the well-being we seek.

    Creation needs an subtle ecosystem. In order to preserve this micro-climate of creativity, the ecosystem needs to function in a rather specific way. In Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains the idea of creating a perfect environment where the capacity to be in flow is promoted and supported. Without it, flow gets disturbed from external circumstances. The capacity to create and be inspired is tampered with. As if living in a bubble of creativity. The creator environment must meet specific criteria.

    Though, this criteria may change for everyone, I need heat, silence, air, electricity,
    Wi-fi, privacy and space. Comfort doesn’t hurt but won’t stop me from ideation.
    In idea creation, I generally need to be doing anything but searching for ideas or work.

    Having said this, the pressure of having a day job can be disturbing to the fragile and delicate ecosystem of creation and lead the creative’s ideation process to get stressed and produce a lesser result than that of a natural process. Especially if the creative is sensitive.

    A lot of writers tend to express Seth Godins idea of “Just Shipping“. Though, I find this process to be a forceful abstraction from where I stand on a creative level. I need to let my curiosity wonder. I follow my curiosity and it leads me down rabbit holes which hold nuggets of information I wouldn’t be able to use had I not followed the childlike curiosity to discover. Then, when I’m out of that creative mindset, I sit and edit patiently for hours on end, until I’m satisfied with the results of my ponderations and criticism. That’s grit.

    After reading A technique for producing ideas by James Webb Young in my early twenties. I discovered how my personal creation process functioned.

    1) Research:

    Deep need to seek information related to current problem/subject. Digging into subjects. Reading. Listening. Etc. The sponge process where my mind imbibes every possible new idea and concept I didn’t know about yet. I do this over a period of time. I compound overtime and I then reach a…

    2) Stagnation point.

    Where my mind has had enough of researching. This is the time where I’m supposed to let go. Like Sherlock Holms or Dr. House, the process of searching is the same. They have an intense period of research where it gets serious. Then something gets intense and they…

    3) Let go.

    I personally go for a run or a bike ride or a walk in order to change my mind.
    I also get these moments in the shower too… Dr. House plays with a ball, or gets caught up with something entirely different like speaking to his friend Wilson and while bouncing ideas of Wilson, House gets his “AHA moment“. The same goes for Sherlock Holmes, a case comes up, they do a little research, gather clues, then get caught up in something trivial which seems entirely opposed to the case and “AHA!


    Once you have your AHA moment, write the core idea(s) down and let them flow onto paper. Or if you’re unfortunate like I am write them down on your phone while you’re cycling as to not forget them. When I’m fortunate enough to be at home,
    I create a relaxed environment where I have heat, some music which appeals to me, and completely forget about the world. The music often gets me to enjoy and not have the impression of working. In that moment I write down all enlightened ideas which come to me.

    5) Develop: Write drunk, edit sober.” Ernest Hemingway.

    Your enlightened ideas are maybe brilliant, but you also have to transform them into coherent understandable language for other people. My creative language is that of ideas, that doesn’t mean my ideas are directly translated into a language everyone else understands. Which leads to correcting the content of my thoughts into consumable information people can understand and sometimes making it a little longer with examples so people can grasp what I’m on about.

    If anything, the creative process tends toward letting our mind do all the work and if we could just get out of the way… I often find that I have to restrict myself from social expression with friends and even family in order to transfer the need to express myself into writing form. If I have access to too many friends, I get caught up with what they want to do. Expressing my ideas to them becomes hot air. While I cut off from people, my only medium of expression is writing or maybe some form of audio, which makes for better creativity and capturing ideas.

    If you liked this article, drop a comment and tell me what you thought.

    Here are Adam Westbrooks micro series on “painting in the dark”

  • You can’t strive for a career and have enough mental resources to succeed as an entrepreneur at the same time.

    Get a job they said, it’ll be fun they said…Study a career they said, it’ll be fun they said…I’m about to stop you right now. I was 19 when I made the decision to foll…

    Get a job they said, it’ll be fun they said…
    Study a career they said, it’ll be fun they said…

    I’m about to stop you right now. I was 19 when I made the decision to follow my heart and discover, no matter what it took. Granted I was following the words of our mutual friend Benjamin Franklin..

    … and granted, I was severely lacking in confidence. Even if my clarity came though moments where my confidence was more like a grandiose summit I’d reach before plummeting back down into the valley of doubt and wondering.

    All this to say that where you are today reflects the choices you made 10 years ago.
    Maybe I am rehashing someone’s quote, I have searched but could not find the author or it sadly.. But the point is that if today, you are somewhere you don’t like, it’s probably and most likely because you were following other peoples idea’s of what success means, or trying to succeed in their eyes, or that you weren’t listening to yourself. Or any other number of reasons…

    Today, if you have a day job, I consider that to be a disadvantage. Not from the vantage point of trying to survive, obviously it would be foolish and stupid to say that having a job today is a bad thing if it puts a roof over your head. But that isn’t the point of this article nor of this blog and if you’re triggered, you’re missing the entire point.

    In today’s world, having a day job is a disadvantage, especially when it comes to the creative pursuit. If you want to live a life of freedom, then you’ll need to act accordingly. I won’t forget that it’s important to have a balance of freedom and something important that you work for, a sense of passion, instead of something you hate that puts food on the table. Ultimately you’ll waste a lot of life doing something you didn’t want to do…

    Obviously we all want money, or you’re probably in denial if it isn’t the case.
    But, if you trade having the security of 200euros per month from a job which pays you 1200, then you’re not going to be able to use that 200 other than to soothe the pain you create making it through long hours of hard-work for someone else.
    Not to mention, when you quit your job, you won’t have much of a security other than what you’ve been able to save away.

    Now, trading the security and social pride of having a secure position at a firm, which you’ve studied for years to ensure… for the unknown, to discover what it is that makes you tick, what makes you happy, what you enjoy, what you despise, etc.
    Is obviously an expensive and risky… risk. But, knowing deep down that you have an intangible faith, a belief that you will triumph and overcome the obstacles, that you will succeed somehow, because you have some unspoken vision deep down underneath, changes your entire journey and ultimately will help you obtain it.
    You’ll end up with the possibility of a cushy luxury life others can only dream of.

    There are many times where you will doubt everything you’re going through, and wonder what the point of it all is. You’ll wonder why you’re even here, and you’ll even question the point of living. Though, that’s where the faith comes in…

    Having a job, although it gives you a firm conviction that you’ve somehow made it, is a false illusion of security. You still have to get up in the morning to jump through a few hoops so you can prove you’re not an entirely worthless asset to the company. It won’t however build you the structure and confidence to stand on your own two feet and create what you envision.

    If you want to take the bridge over to “entrepreneurship” and the “creative life”, you’ll have to come to terms with the painful reality that you’ll doubt and go through painful self reflection on a recurring basis. You’ll become a seeker, you’ll have to find ease with the difficulty you go through on a daily basis.
    Questioning family patterns, group patterns, facing isolation, facing your own doubts and judgements, having to look at why you feel down, why you feel bad, why you feel like shit. You’ll question everything. If crossing the bridge to get to the creative life is something you consider, try considering living with your family and getting on with them first, consider going through the burning pits of hell and then having to scramble back to the “socially acceptable box” you fell from to then aim higher, consider losing everything you know and love and your notoriety and material possessions, and the list goes on…

    But, if all the possible things you’ve considered are worth going through to achieve your vision, what you’re hoping for… In that case, there is hope and combined with the faith you fortify along the way, there is possibility to endure…

    Another point, because tonight I’ve decided to bash jobs a tad more than usual, is that while you’re on the job your mind is focussed on solving problems you’ve given. You’re given ressources to solve the problem, which means that your mind is busy churning out solutions or searching for them like a micro factory.
    Your mind is then saturated for anything you want to focus on outside of work, in fact your entire energy ressources will be based upon and invested in something going the other way. Even a year after or two even, your mind will still have knowledge from focussing on those problems. I’m all for having an eclectic knowledge, in fact I pride myself upon having multiple sources and multiple allegories like in “Range”… but… if your primary focus isn’t upon building your internal vision, you’ll end up going in a direction which isn’t entirely of your choosing.

    “Don’t quit. Never give up trying to build the world you can see, even if others can’t see it. Listen to your drum and your drum only. It’s the one that makes the sweetest sound.” —Simon Sinek

    It takes time, and you’ll wonder what weird pipe you went down, but ultimately, you’ll discover that the freedom you inherit from stepping out of the known trodden path will lead you to higher hights than you could have ever imagined, according to the fact you believe in yourself enough to do so…

    If you liked this article, feel free to support my writing with buymeacoffee 🙂

  • Perspective on confidence

    In Audio, often we hate our voices. 

    Though, if we practice enough, we learn to control our voices and we learn to love how we sound. We also learn to love how we sound, once we learn to love the inspiration and content which comes from our mouths. We love ourselves a little bit more, the less we compare to others.

    By coming back to the drawing board. We hear our voice in relation to how we feel.
    Just as when we have an idea, and feel we are entirely inspired by the idea, we are in transcendence, and we are transfixed by the pure genius which flows through us.

    We feel great while in the state of flow and inspired only to wake up with “No surge of genius” and we are back to the “normal” feeling which is our bodies reposing standard in order to maintain energy. 

    We are in lesser states of being because to be in the enlightened state of creative genius would require a whole lot more energy. Hence why, when we come out we are often famished, or we are thirsty. 

    We love and accept everything when we are in flow, we’re more discriminatory when we’re not.

    So wouldn’t we assume that the software, when used correctly, functions well. And when we’re not adding clear lines of code(/directions) our minds seem like a jumble and so do we?

    We could also assume that with time we experience more success’s, and we get more confident over a long period simply because we witness that somehow we’ve made it this far, had x amount of success and see things in a different way.

    So by practicing life by living, experiencing, making mistakes, failing, practicing compassion, learning to relax, learning to achieve etc, its easy to assume that our earthly experience compounds up and equates to confidence.

    In French, our voice is writen “Voix” and our path is written “voie.” but both spellings sound the same as X isn’t audible. Is it interesting to say that when we learn to love our path, we learn to love our voice also?

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  • How to stay consistent amidst change

    What is consistent is my soul, which I have developed my relationship with. My soul has become more and more distinguished for me as I have evolved through pain over the years. As if cracking the e…

    What is consistent is my soul, which I have developed my relationship with.

    My soul has become more and more distinguished for me as I have evolved through pain over the years. As if cracking the eggshells away from the white egginess of our souls, we discover an intangible yolk. The white, is more like our mind which is capable ofexpanding as far as its content. 

    The Yolk is our soul, which fragile, remains under the surface of a thin membrane, yellow like the sun, with a satin like texture which, like the moëlle of spine is cultivated over time in such detail and accumulation. Like Shilajit it is essential, thousands of years of crushing elements together, making the most essential edible content which is so compact, yet so dense, yet ever so rich. We stay consistent when we are guided by our soul purpose. 

    Our soul purpose transpires as:

    Passion (physical energy for what we are doing. engaged.)
    + Progress (for what we are doing)
    + Inspiration (the soul must be enlightened by the
    activity. We must be all absorbed!)

    = Soul purpose.

    The soul purpose, is our personal interest, (what we have most worked on in our life), combined with what we share with the world to help and uplift. 

    It’s a combination of what turns us on, keeps us focussed, what we would do if we didn’t get payed for it, what we’d continue doing anyway and what we’d do even if we hit the jackpot. 

    Our soul purpose, is the middle ground between our curiosity, inspiration, expression and our capacity for refinement (making it palatable for others to comprehend – choosing a way to express/share with others).

    If we are following our soul purpose, we remain consistent while the world around us changes. It is the only thing which cannot change, because it is our CORE. It is the work of our lifetime. The accumulation of all the hardships and goals we strive for.

    Our circumstances will change, our finances will change, our looks will change,
    our voice will change, as well as our interests, our capacity will change as will our
    relations. But as long as we remain loyal and consistent to our soul purpose, our life
    remains somewhat consistent. And everything has a purpose and sense and,
    in the words of Napoleon Bonaparte.

    “A superior power pushes me towards a goal of which I know nothing; as long as it has not been attained I am invulnerable, unshakeable; as soon as I am no longer necessary for it, a single step(fly) will suffice to topple me.”

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  • Brain food

    Food, is fuel.  Though, we also have brain food, such as inspiring information, knowledge and facts.  The more natural, unstressed, qualitative types of food we provide our bodies, the be…

    Food, is fuel. 

    Though, we also have brain food, such as inspiring information, knowledge and facts. 

    The more natural, unstressed, qualitative types of food we provide our bodies, the better the outcome. 

    We imbibe energy, which is converted into thoughts. Our thoughts combine and like a painting, transposed upon a canvas, our thoughts transcribe the subtle, the strong, the intensive and powerful frequencies which are expressed through our inspirations.

    The better the quality food, the better our bodies will react and conduct themselves.

    The better the quality of literature we imbibe, the more inspiring the thoughts. To discover what quality means for us, is to understand what and how we aspire to produce. 

    When we produce thoughts, if we consume anything relating to noise, fear,
    violence, disharmonious, uninspiring, dull. We essentially put processed foods inside our mind. Our digestive systems digest the dull, processed food and our physical quality is also disqualified.
    It is important to chose quality, always. Not letting money or popularity chose the quality of your life. But letting the quality of your life be more important than it.

    When we chose quality, I have often had the unfortuitous disadvantage to meet people who’d favour money above quality, in many domains. From an observational point, their lives also transpire those choices, so do the fruits bared by their minds. 

    It is of utmost importance to chose people of quality who inspire us and pull us
    upwards and inspire us to do better. I’m not talking about snobbish tendencies to
    discriminate financially how someone looks, but to simply observe where peoples minds are, and what their habits are, as well as how developed their minds are and the words they chose to share.

    We’re talking about people who live near us and have the same advantages as us, yet cannot see how wealthy they are with what they have. These people, like leaches, will suck the energy from your inspiration and leave you feeling empty and dull as they are questioning the quality of your choices, the quality of your mind, and the value of who you are. They bring you down to their level and make you doubt everything about yourself. 

    We are the product of the food we consume, the information we imbibe, and the people who we spend the most time with.

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  • Perspective on consumer mindset and independent leadership.

    How much of a consumer are you? Or put another way, what do you desire most? Freedom or other people’s acceptance? Funnily enough, desiring freedom will give you other people’s acceptan…

    How much of a consumer are you? Or put another way, what do you desire most? Freedom or other people’s acceptance?

    Funnily enough, desiring freedom will give you other people’s acceptance and being free. While chosing other people’s acceptance will enslave you and they most likely won’t care anyway… So double loss.

    Most people are governed by their desires, and because their desires control their actions, they become instant gratification zombies.

    It starts with the dopamin hits from social media, overuse of sex and lack of control over the primary creative energy. They engage in drinking, eating, smoking, drugs… anything which will numb the pain they feel. They’re enslaved, and they’re not searching for solutions, they just take life as if its a given and they don’t have any effect over its quality. Arguably, these are the same rigid minded chumps who believe solely in working like a slave for 20 years to get a diploma and who then piss on your dreams with the self-hatred they’ve accumulated by following what they’re told to do like lapdogs. They end up resent-full. Just being in their proximity is toxic for your vibe.

    They go along with these debilitating practices which destroys their health, their energy, their clarity of mind, they become sex workers (The world is rampant with sex workers, its damn nasty…), they become alcoholics, they become dependant on external substances in order to numb their internal conflict.

    The poor thing is, they haven’t developped their Emotional intelligence. This in its self portrays them as following sheep.

    While times are unclear, a leader will know to follow their intuition even if that means seemingly going in the wrong direction in other peoples perception. They’ll engage in the fog of war without knowledge of what is ahead. They engage, because they know that doing nothing will lead to defeat. They take the course of action a coward would back away from, because they have courage and internal belief in themselves.

    I say this, because I don’t know an inspiring leader who isn’t qualified in fully accepting who they are deep down. On the contrary, anyone who doesn’t know who they are become the products of the social trends happening around them, they conform, they become consumers in order to become of the latest trend. Hoping that if they follow the trend, people will believe they are avantGard and pioneers, because “if they wear and have products created by pioneers” they will be associated as if they are them selves.

    This couldn’t be any further from the truth. They’re just pain based entities who can’t accept themselves, let alone sit alone with themselves long enough to reap the benefits of thinking and feeling for themselves.

    Are you a conformist, or are you a leader? Do you believe in yourself enough to know you’re creating the world around you? Or are you simply a numbed product of society, spending to conform and be accepted by others, be loved by others? (Hint: You don’t even love yourself, why do you think others should love you?)

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  • How to overcome Imposter Syndrome, Limiting beliefs, and Achieve Success?

    These questions are the result of a podcast I was invited on a few weeks ago. I decided to share my answers in this PODCAST SHOW-NOTES Exclusive.1. Did you have any limiting beliefs or imposter syn…

    These questions are the result of a podcast I was invited on a few weeks ago.
    I decided to share my answers in this PODCAST SHOW-NOTES Exclusive.1. Did you have any limiting beliefs or imposter syndrome? 

    Growing up, I’ve had many limiting beliefs, and I’ve experienced imposter syndrome. Though, I have found that imposter syndrome came from me not being where I needed to be. You know, there’s an article by Gary V which talks about how entrepreneurs ARE BORN, NOT MADE. Which explains the 5 main points of what entrepreneurs have within which are natural to them. Or at least they’ve been exposed to it enough to bring out what is inside of them.

    So, These 5 traits are:

    • Salesmanship. 
    • A chip on your shoulder. 
    • An independent spirit
    • Understanding consumers and consumer attention
    • and Patience

    When reading this article, I understood, I had all of these traits, and my cv underlined it, just as Steve Jobs said that it’s by looking backwards that we connect the dots. 

    That’s when we see what our purpose is!

     1 Salesmanship 

    I went to sales school and it confirmed what I was, though I wasn’t any good with the academic aspect of it. I had a deep rebellious streak, which most entrepreneurs also have. It’s a childhood thing. Childhood experiences of a Father being away on business or starting business, but also experiencing the effects of their stressed characters while being behind scenes, which has effect on the way they treat those around them…

    My father also has the ability to talk his way into and out of paper bags. Which I’d later confirm for myself on the field while working for a Jeweller selling Swarovski and Pandora to clients: I had the same gift of the gab too.

    2 Having A chip on your shoulder.  

    I cannot remember a time where I didn’t have a chip on my shoulder. I’ve Aways had a deep need to prove I’m better. NOW This is early, I remember when I was 5 at the playground, asking my mum if I was the best. I was born into a certain amount of luxury, though only to the outside eye. On the inside, at home, we’d have to experience pain and cold, and struggle. So, I grew up believing that we had money, when we didn’t. Which was a real blow to the ego when I found out:  I was in fact poor. My mother fought tooth and nail for us to have what we wanted, despite having close to nothing herself. Which also gave me a deep need to succeed in life. I owe it to her, not like a debt, but like a mission. It’s like being part of the aristocracy
    with the people around you, yet living like paupers behind closed doors! I was also exposed to wealthy families along the way.my best friends would always have some amount of wealth or at least some sort of power in the world.So, I’d always have a sense of competitivity with my friends which wasn’t so healthy, despite having a good time….

    Also, Simply the need to prove it to everyone, to stick it to those who didn’t believe in me, or who made me feel as if I wasn’t good enough from early adolescence onward. Its all an expression of childhood anyway.  But it all mounts up… 

    3rd: An independent spirit.  

    As for independence, I’ve always had the need for freedom. I’ve always and I mean Always needed to be an independent thinker. My mother told me I was running at the age of 11 months, and climbing up dangerous walls. 

    She thought I’d be some sort of mountain guide in extreme situations. Because of all the situations I’d been in physically over the course of my life. Basically, it was just me searching for limitations, searching to push further, searching to do better. 

    Later on in life there was only so much I could discover in the material tangible world, so I went inside. Luckily I am an introvert, so that helped. I’d search for the masculin structure a father could provide, or at least it was absent and so I’d push as far as I could go as a result to find limits. Distance, situations, anything… My father wasn’t home much, he was mainly at work. I’d always push everything to the extreme.
    No father, means no identity. For a guy at least. Push that further and you’ll find that it’s a lack of reference. And you build your identity on your own. 

    4 Understanding consumers and consumer attention

    Understanding consumers is something I’ve done since the age of at least 16 while going into sales courses for example. Though understanding consumers on a deeper level, as well as their attention, I’ve always been pretty deep into psychology, as well as understanding others. This mainly started after I read The Game by Neil Strauss when I was 17. 

    I started to dig into mentalism and, Ericksonian hypnosis and other techniques and methods. All in the name of love and understanding how to get a girlfriend. Of course, with age you understand that you don’t need to force interactions, they occur naturally…. Though, mainly understanding customers and their desires.This started to occur when I worked at victoria Magdalena for a year while selling jewellery, and then on a much deeper level when I worked at Apple in customer service. These two jobs alone gave me more than enough understanding of how customers functioned and why they’d buy such and such products. Of course there would be influence to take into account too.

     5 Patience 

    And of course, patience. This is something life puts you up to. It puts you in many situations where you’re continually tested. Of course, seeing the grander scheme of things, having patience is how you survive. Because if you make a false move, act too soon, or like in sales rush to see the customeror force them to buy. You’ll end up blowing any possible deals for them or for yourself.  

    In retrospect, I’ve done a lot of work on myself to undo limiting beliefs. Why on earth would I’d feel paralysed, when time came to take action. I did have one massive limitation to get over despite having imposter syndrome. The Fear of Success. And for me it was very real. It was Crippling even. And before understanding why…. It made no sense at all, that I’d have such a fear within. Especially that I am success orientated, I am driven to succeed, I have an internal Drive for success. I need success’s in my everyday life…. I need to be proud of myself

    Well, in moments where I’d feel completely paralysed by any possible action:
    publishing my ideas, expressing myself in public, or simply being in collective settings…I’d somehow freeze.

    Now, take into account that I’d had sales training, I’d applied “The Game”, I had success with girls, and I was pretty outgoing in high-school. Let’s say I wasn’t much of an introvert back then, go figure…

    My fear of success came from childhood situations with my father. He would criticise me harshly, get angry if I didn’t live up to his unpronounced expectations (SHOUTING OUT OF THE BLUE) and didn’t seem to be very patient with me, and would project his fears and experiences (what didn’t work for him, would surely not work for me – in his perception) .
    This produced in me the fear of people criticising me, the fear of exposing myself or my ideas, or I’d get angry with myself if I didn’t live up to what I set out to do. I’d put a lot of pressure on myself due to that. And in combination all these things would become a sort of paralysis On the road to aspire to one’s father,— As all kids do —.
    I’d put the Hand-breaks on so to speak,  which would halt my course of action. This would leave me going round in circles.

    In terms of imposter syndrome, I’ve found that what I am doing needs to be in sync with what I am thinking and aspiring to inside. If I am not aligned within and without, I will have the impression that what I am doing doesn’t correspond to what I am. My inner beliefs need to be translated into reality. That’s actualisation. It’s about my expectations. If you are engaged for a specific role, and you don’t have enough internal confirmation you’ll end up firstly doubting your actions, but also doubting everything you attempt.
    Imposter syndrome — for me at least…—  vanished the second I started to strive towards my purpose and ambitions and taking matters into my own hands. Focussing on what you need to be doing stops imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome arises when you’re not on the right path and you’re simply pursuing money for money’s sake.

    2. How did you overcome those false beliefs?

    Coaching and following my intuition.Coaching helped me have an unemotional mirror which would send me clear feedback as to what I was projecting, and unbiased information in order to evolve on specific topics. 

    Developing my intuition — on the other hand— came from trial and error, testing my intuition over and over. Making mistakes over and over, just to see if I was right.
    Just to confirm the feeling I had in my gut beforehand. 

    3. What affirmations did you do to overcome those beliefs?

    I haven’t found that Affirmations are entirely useful for me.


    I believe we are more like Onions unravelling, and with proper information we chose roles which are more adapted to who we already are. It’s a little like Simon Sineks golden circle in “Start with Why”. We go from inside to outside, not outside to inside,
    with our why. 

    Our lives have already been created and the pains we experience are already in us,
    we’ve already experienced them, we just have to trigger them and let go in order to heal. Once we heal those pains, those hurts don’t make sense anymore, so we don’t repeat them. We’re not controlled by them.

    We become free once we become conscious of something. You’ll find that you’re more of a consumer than a leader if you spend all your time taking from outside rather than giving from inside. And for this reason, you’ll find that if you are consuming all information, coming from outside of your own convictions and confirmations, you’ll be living through others instead of on your own volition. 

    For me, life is a series of confirmations, when situations arise, It’s simply a matter of confirmation and observation. For the work I’ve done prior to the situation.

    4. How helpful were those affirmations? 

    I have found that writing what I envision and then coming back to it from time to time as a reference to remind myself has helped me enormously in becoming who I am. 
    But that’s more like a map, a plan of where you want to go or what you want to achieve.

    5. When people break down their limiting beliefs, they become unstoppable, more creative. Therefore, how do you define creativity? How creative are you in your business or life?

    I define creativity as an energy, for me its a state of flow where what I envision comes out in writing, in speaking, in music, in ideas and visions or what I can draw or paint. 

    I would say I am very creative. There’s a difference between creative for productive. These are two different things. Creative is the capacity to come up with ideas, to be stimulated and curious and driven to take action upon them. It’s like an energy switch. Like turning on a light bulb. The energy behind the switch is something you cultivate and then allocate to whatever outlet,- just like electricity.- I practice energetic transmutation, which is harnessing my sexual energy and focussing it towards my creative pursuits, or physical exercise like running or cycling. Productive on the other hand is execution, this depends on your state of health and your discipline to apply your creativity through one outlet or another.

    6. Why some people lack in creativity while other don’t.

    I believe that it’s something you confirm for yourself and then you practice or cultivate. It’s a little like your name. For example You’re called Dave since you’re young, therefore, your name isn’t up for question. You have confirmed it for yourself, you’re confident that your name is Dave. Creativity is a little similar. You harness it while young and continu to believe in your creativity. You’ve ticked off that box. Now, I’ve had a long moment in life where I wasn’t being creative, Though I wasn’t seeing it as creative. Everyone is creative, just differently. Some people make visual art like paintings or writing, sculptures for example. Others have an art which is more subtle,
    like speaking or carrying themselves a specific way, or sports. Think about rappers for example. It’s an art and lifestyle. You have energy, let’s say you have 100 tokens of creativity per day. What do you invest those tokens in? You could either use your creative energy to produce art, and you’d be considered an artist or a painter for example. Or you could use that same energy and apply it to more left brained activities like maths, science or physics. And you’d be considered a physician, a mathematician, or a scientist… Your creativity would be considered the results of your equations and conclusions. I believe that it is part of how you define yourself while you’re young too, and what you fortify through repeated confirmations over the course of your childhood and adolescence. So, I believe people lack in creativity, because they’ve maybe not developed that side of themselves. Or simply they don’t lack in creativity at all, because the creativity we’re seeing isn’t expected as creativity. 

    Writing a 12 page essay every week -for example- for a law student,-Law students aren’t considered artists, but they practice their art.- that’s creativity, they’re creating a 12 page essay, they’re formulating structure and being creative in their capacity to visualise and translate their thoughts on to paper. 

    7. Creativity means thinking outside of the box! is it True? or else what is your opinion on creativity?

    Creativity can be thinking inside of the box. Parameters vary. You can be creative within a certain structure, or limitation which gives you the possibility to create with X or Y outcome. Say for example I want to paint a painting, and the settings with which I’m aloud to create that painting are only black and gold paint.
    That is the box I’m aloud to create in. That is creativity. It is also true for the contrary, say you’re not aloud to use the colour gold or the pigment black, but you’re aloud to use all the others, That is thinking outside of the box for example. Or simply using other types of materials in order to produce an outcome. Creativity when applied to business is problem solving at its finest. Having a Box is like having a plan. I think it was Eisenhower who said, 

    “No battle was ever won according to plan, but no battle was ever won without one.” 

    I believe this applies to creativity. We can either chose to paint within the box, or like rules we can disregard them… and simply create on inspiration. It depends on the means of expression.

    8. How do you push yourself to think outside of the box?

    Well, I’ve experienced being a rebel, and I’ve experienced being a rule follower. I believe pushing myself to think outside the box is Having a vision and wanting to achieve it, no matter what. I suppose, it’s caring to follow the imposed rules or structure, or not .. .

    9. How often do you think outside of the box?

    I’d say nearly everyday, though I don’t really have a box. I have visions. I actually enjoy parameters to think in. I believe I have achieved a pretty nice degree of freedom within my mind, which allows me to dream and drift. So, I don’t really have any limitations except for the rules on earth and society and of relations which are heavily important. If it comes to beliefs which I find limiting when I catch myself thinking them. I immediately ask myself if its true or if I can create a better belief for myself.

    10. What motivates you to think outside of the box. 

    What motivates me to think outside the box is the crowd. The IQ of the group, is the LOWEST IQ in the group. Let me say that again : The lowest IQ in the group is the IQ of  the group. What does that say for trends in collective society? Think tiktok… 

    I hate being told what to do, but following my intuition and going against the current is something I aspire to. Simply because the decisions I make for myself, are better when I’m not influenced by the mob.Thinking outside of the box in the context of life
    is simply a question of survival. There are structures which I find important, but following the rules everyone else has setup can prove to be unfruitful. Forging my own path and believing in myself is my way of thinking outside of the box. Simply because, in contrary, following what others tell me, that makes no sense to my life purpose.
    Though, it is useful to sometimes use paths which have been blazed before you.
    Over all, it’s a question of adapting to what is RIGHT for you.

    11. When you think outside of the box, do you get the desired results you expected?

    Life provides me with multiple special moments of subtle lucidity. But I know I can only get these moments, if I follow my intuition and my higher judgement. I haven’t yet been disappointed by life. Only by my own expectancies. Because I want it to happen now, instead of going through the process. And that comes down to the development of patience and not expecting, but doing your best in the present moment.

    12. Do you get frustrated when your creative ideas don’t work? 

    So far, I’ve found that I am an optimist. in this regard. I cannot remember any ideas which haven’t taught me something. I love to learn, and setbacks always have a silver lining. When I was younger, I’d get angry at myself for not living up to my standards and my expectations. But with time, I see that’s wasted energy– in that –its bad for one’s health. It’s just unproductive. So by finding a more harmonious  way of living and accepting myself, life has become fluid instead of forced. Therefore, frustration seeps away. 

    13. What is the main reason people don’t try?

    People don’t try because they don’t believe in themselves, or are in fear of the outcome. But better yet, like myself they may have a fear of success and the Trying of X or Y creates a sense of paralysis. People may not try for many reasons. Not believing in themselves, or their skills, or their capacity to overcome obstacles. Though, it can also be environmental; the people around us influence us much more than we know. Our entourage can make or break our belief and vision. It’s essential, if we want to achieve anything, to find a space to think and convince and confirm that what we are doing, we’re doing for the right reasons. Stepping away from people who don’t believe in your projects or ideas is essential, for your creativity as well as your wellbeing, and that of your ideas. 

    14. What is the reason people give up after trying a few times?

    Lack of pleasure in the doing of, lack of results in the achievement, or simply ‘lacking in faith’ that things will get better. I believe that if people give up after a few times, its mainly because they don’t find an accessible foothold in order to start climbing that mountain. They may get overwhelmed by the idea, the implications. It could also be because of the people around them. Criticising where they should be in support. Or voices inside their heads telling them that they are at risk. Telling them that they won’t make it. It’s a fear of death or the unknown. Which isn’t really valid, if we sit with it, it vanishes… Or there has been an instance of repeated pain maybe. 

    And they have defined that situation, through the perception of a mindset which was biased with pain. It’s important not to write something off simply because we had a bad experience. But to observe if what we believed was written in stone a long time ago, is it still valid ? Or if a door hasn’t opened for us in the meantime, so we can explore it anew.

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  • What is the reason people give up after trying a few times?

    I suppose Lack of pleasure in the doing of, lack of results in the achievement
    or simply ‘lacking in faith’ that things will get better

    I believe that if people give up after a few times, its mainly because they don’t find an accessible foothold in order to start climbing that mountain. And when they do strive, they often find themselves slipping rather than ascending. They may get overwhelmed by the idea or the implications.

    It could also be because of the people around them. Criticizing where they should be in support. Or voices inside their heads telling them that they are at risk. Telling them that they won’t make it. This is a fear of death or the unknown. Which isn’t really valid, because if we sit with it, it vanishes…

    Maybe there has been an instance of repeated pain. And they have defined that situation, through the perception of a mindset which was biased with pain. It’s important not to write something off simply because we had a bad experience.  But to observe if what we believed was written in stone a long time ago. Is it still valid? Has a door opened for us in the meantime, so we can explore it anew?

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  • Why don’t people try?

    People don’t try because they don’t believe in themselves or are in fear of the outcome.
     Better yet, they may have a fear of success and the Trying of X or Y creates a sense of paralysis. 
    And still, trying and failing in a crippling way can leave a nasty aftertaste.

    People may not try for many reasons. Not believing in themselves or their skills, or their capacity to overcome obstacles

    It can also be environmental, the people around us influence us much more than we know. Our entourage can make or break our belief and vision. It’s essential, if we want to achieve anything, to find a space to think and convince and confirm that what we are doing, we’re doing for the right reasons.
    Stepping away from people who don’t believe in your projects or ideas is essential, for your creativity as well as your well-being, and that of your ideas. 

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  • Jobs vs Calling

    How many years are you supposed to study to get a job? How many years are you supposed to invest into your studies in order to land a job?  In my view, the easiest way to get a job is to …

    How many years are you supposed to study to get a job? 
    How many years are you supposed to invest into your studies in order to land a job? 

    In my view, the easiest way to get a job is to work on social skills like retail and jobs alike. 

    I studied for 2 years to understand how sales worked, before then studying for 3 years to get A levels in french literature and philosophy. 

    Then I was pretty much set to get any entree level job I wanted. Before graduating sales, I had read “The Game” by Neil Strauss, in which the author talks about approaching as many girls as possible to get over the fear of rejection and potentially expose yourself to more people, which in proportion helps to achieve adding more phone numbers to your contact list and potentially getting more girls in your life. 

    Though, I had already mastered that while I was in high-school and spent most of my time chatting up birds. On recess, lunch breaks etc. 

    Then later in life I simply applied the same principle to work, print out a tone of cv’s and apply the same mechanism, walk in with a big smile like with the birds. 

    Have a confident tone, like with the birds. Eye contact, like with the birds.
    Dress well and be well groomed, like with the birds… 

    Having a sales degree made things pretty easy, and being a salesman also proved to ease things. Though, getting a job wasn’t difficult for me, so I could simply apply my ambition and aim for higher and better if I didn’t like where I was. Which I did.  I was also limited to the job function though.

    Had I studied for 10 years to become a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer,
    the doors wouldn’t have been open to me to do job hoping to the same degree.

    I wouldn’t have noticed how boss’s functioned and how they exploited their employee’s to make money for them. I wouldn’t have had the freedom to jump from one job to another, or land communication jobs. The thing with a job is that it is like a lillypad, it helps us to get from where we are to where we are going. Jobs are perfect for anyone who has entrepreneur ideas. The difficulty with jobs though, is that you don’t have infinite energy or health.

    You can work as hard as you want to land the job, but once you have the job it becomes difficult to sustain that same level of intensity. 

    As for a career, you study for a long while in order to become a cog in someone else’s system, only to then wear yourself out but have no other options because you’ve clogged your mind up so much with your learning mechanisms that it becomes very difficult to then switch to anything else.

    When you are endocrinated with studies, your mind tends to pick up information differently. You’re okay with force feeding yourself. Though, you’re doing it, most of the time, because that is the only choice. Work your head off to get a diploma, and then get a job according to what you have studied. 

    This is very limiting, for a few reasons. 

    1) You cannot switch, your diploma stunts your ability to get do anything else.
    You’re stuck self identifying with your diploma. 

    2) You haven’t learn’t to think outside of academic spaces, which is limiting in the real world. Where in school, you learn facts by heart, your mind becomes a warehouse of dusty encyclopaedic facts, which is useful if … you’re passing an exam. 

    Though, your mind functions differently. In the real world, our minds pick information, based upon our curiosity. We then dig in, sift and sort the information. Pass on to something else, etc. Only to then conclude with Eurika moments when your brain has finished processing all the information. 

    Your mind has been taught to think in a way which doesn’t equate to finding solutions you need, but solutions you’re required to find for someone else. You’ve been taught to retain information or methods in order to apply them later. You haven’t been taught how to think or how to use your brain to its full potential. 

    3) You don’t have any real world experience. This doesn’t help your confidence or your capacity to believe in yourself. And you often get used in the business world.

    4) You don’t work your EQ, which becomes inherantly more important than any IQ. Your IQ is solely there for you to figure out problems. Your EQ is there to help you go through problems. It’s your sticking power.

    5) You don’t learn risk. You’re coddled in a little world of privilege inside of academic structures. You don’t go through difficulties. Infrastructures protect you from risk by providing a lush environment of academic pretension. 

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  • Do you get frustrated when your creative ideas don’t work out?

    I do tend to get very angry with myself, like angry angry. How could I possibly be so naïve? or Why on earth did I screw up so badly?

    I cannot remember any ideas which haven’t taught me something though. I love to learn, and setbacks always have a silver lining. 

    I do get angry at myself for not living up to my standards and my expectations. Even if I see wasted energy in that, it’s bad for one’s health. It’s clearly just unproductive. 

    So by finding a more harmonious ways of living and accepting myself, life tends to be more fluid instead of forced. Therefore, frustration seeps away. I find that when I can be more respectful of myself, more patient and able to flow, I’m a lot more at peace with myself. I’m still working on this.

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  • When you think outside of the box, do you get the results you expect?

    Life provides me with multiple special moments of subtle lucidity. Unrelated to being in or out of a box.
    I have moments of vivid creativity. But I know I can only get these moments, if I follow specific steps which taken into account my intuition, and provide a space where I can feel safe.

    I haven’t yet been disappointed by life. Only by my own expectancies. Because I want it to happen now, instead of going through the process. And that comes down to the development of patience and not expecting, but doing your best in the present moment.

    Most of the time, the results you get are a combination of your compounding knowledge of something, your internal locus of creativity, combined with your personal standards and skills. And all of this depends on how you feel.

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  • Covering the soul in colour and seeing it clearly.

    Depending on your belief, we each have a singular soul or in atheist terms we all have a specific set of psychological and biological makings which make us individually singular. Whatever your God or lack-thereof sais, everyone is different.

    No two people are the same, even if they look identical, who they are on the inside, how they think and feel is very different. Except those who have no clue and spend their time living inside a tiny box, in their tiny consumer mindset running around like lab-rats while they try to please their neighbours and work colleagues. 

    Though ultimately when we get to explore – it takes painful awakenings sometimes- our singularity, we discover a distinguished set of ways which work only for us. 

    Why? No two human beings are alike. Not even remotely… We look alike and have similar needs. But as we distinguish ourselves, we step away from the conformism of the group setting which we aspire to. We affirm that we are unique… the adverts no longer apply.

    The soul is like a blank canvas, we come into life, and the mind can sense it clearly because we haven’t been formed to think or act a specific way. Over time we’re taught how to perceive the world, people want to leave an imprint on us, they want to 

    form us into what they want. Some want to use us, some want what we have, etc. Though, over time, we cannot see the blank canvas anymore, theres lots of mess around it, depriving us of seeing it clearly. Until, we get rid of the excess baggage we’re told to carry around since we’re young. 

    Society wants us to conform, we must live according to the peer group around us otherwise they’ll reject us, we must have diplomas in order to work in order to survive. If we have diplomas, most people believe they’ll give us access to a distinguished career. 

    A distinguished career which, is basically status signalling if we think about it. To show others that we fit in and we do it well, that our minds have been formed by prestige in a highly esteemed ivy league school.

    Though what isn’t being said here is that we’re ultimately searching for confirmation. A written diploma and perhaps photos of our fraternity to make it clear to ourselves that we have confirmation that we are eligible to think for ourselves and take action in the world. That’s an expensive confirmation!

    Every experience in life, is like sculpting rock or painting with paintballs…

    The experiences chip away at us, until our learn’t ways “the excessive external rock” surrounding our soul is chipped off. Or life takes shots at us, until every inch of our soul is covered in colour (if we use the canvas idea). All the paintballs which missed weren’t made for us, even if they were aimed at us, and our goal is to simply take enough shots in order to cover the canvas. Not all at once, but over time, life will shoot us until our canvas is covered in colour and our soul is clearly visible to us. 

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  • Thinking outside the box

    I’d say I think outside the box nearly everyday, though I like to have a reference around which I can create. If there are no parameters, no limits, there’s nothing to guide us with.

    I have visions, and I like to feel box’less. And I know that creating without a box is certainly helpful.
    I believe I have achieved a pretty nice degree of freedom within my mind, which allows me to dream and drift. But when it comes to creating, I need to define specific limitations, or specific parameters within which to manifest the outcome I’m going for.

    If it comes to beliefs which I find limiting when I catch myself thinking them.
    I immediately ask myself if its true or if I can create a better belief for myself.

    Living without a reference isn’t helpful. It can be freeing when we feel stifled by conventional boundaries.
    But when we live outside of society like a hermit, we need to apply limitations and parameters to create with, or even to think with. Some form of reference.

    A lot of the time I have a reference of what I feel. How centered I am in relation to my core. How grounded I am.

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  • What is your view on creativity?

    Creativity can be thinking inside of the box. Parameters vary.

    You can be creative within a certain structure or limitation which gives you the possibility to create with X or Y outcome. Say for example I want to paint a painting, and the settings with which I’m aloud to create that painting are only black and gold paint. That is the box I’m aloud to create in. That is creativity. 

    It is also true for the contrary, say you’re not aloud to use the colour gold or the pigment black, but you’re aloud to use all the others, That is thinking outside of the box for example. Or simply using other types of materials in order to produce an outcome. Creativity when applied to business is problem solving. Having a Box is like having a plan. It was Eisenhower who said:

    “No battle was ever won according to plan, but no battle was ever won without one.” 
    Each creative project is a battle with reality. We can either chose to paint within the box, or like rules we can disregard them… and simply create on inspiration. It depends on the means of expression.

    I think the main mistake we make is believing that creativity is only that burst of inspiration when we’re in a state of flow. Editing productions is also creativity, only its in a more grounded creativity. It’s rational instead of spontaneous.

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  • Sheep graze and shepherds herd.

    Having a routine Job is indoctrination of our minds. Everyday, you go to your job, engage in job training, learn new things about the job, learn new knowledge and information about how to better meet the expectation of your position. 

    Only to observe something, what you put in your mind, where you focus your attention, is where your attention and energy flow. Your brain is exposed to what your brain is focussed on. What you look at with your eyes, what you hear with your ears, all of this is what you are putting in your mind. 

    Let’s use a blender for example, put Bananas and chocolate powder in, some sort of coconut milk and maybe some cinnamon… Why would you expect a different result?

    If you don’t like Banana’s, then the end result of what you are preparing might not be to your taste. Don’t expect something different if you continue putting the same stuff inside…

    If you’re not interested in your job, other than money and the opportunity to be there, then the knowledge and repetition day in and day out may not be what you want to be putting within your brain. 

    Say for example, you learn things in school, then from school you go directly into university, then after uni, you decide to take a gap year, then go to get a job once you’ve looked around a bit. Everything you’ve ever learn’t has been adding to you getting the job you get. It’s a likely conclusion.

    You’re literally being trained to get a job to work for someone from a very young age. 
    If you don’t have an inner rebel, then you won’t question what you’re being taught, you won’t question why you’re doing what you’re doing.

    I remember when I was 14, I couldn’t figure out why the maths problems we were learning to solve were being taught to us. I liked math, though, it had nothing to do with anything I needed in society. I saw that then, I still believe that now.

    Nothing I learned in school made sense, until I stopped doing things I was told to do.When I started doing things because I wanted to do them, then everything I was taught made sense. 

    “If there is too little demand on them (people), people are bored.” Csikszentmihalyi Mikahel

    This works in a specific way for sheep. But another way for shephards. Its more correct to look at it like this: 

    Boring people are bored when there isn’t much demand of them.
    Sheep graze grass boringly when they aren’t asked to to anything.
    A shephard on the other hand, will always have something to do,
    his livelihood depends on it. 

    If you learn how to use your time and make decisions for yourself, you’ll very quickly come to the understanding that you don’t have time to be bored. You’re either curious, interested, creative, dealing with something…

    But bored doesn’t enter the equation. Out of the life you live, you only have so much time. When life is on your terms, you chose your time very carefully. When you’ve bulit your life up from scratch you’ve taken the time to look at every little detail of why you want to live the life you’re living. 

    I’ve been able to stay in the same room I grew up in for more than 5 years give or take. 

    I was on social welfare for a while, but never for a minute was I bored. I was occupied, preoccupied, busy, interested, creative, understanding something, researching something, delving into books, movies, undestanding…

    Bored doesn’t enter my vocabulary, because the life I lead is the life I chose to live. Boring people get bored, interesting people get interested.

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  • Why do some people lack in creativity while others don’t?

    I believe creativity is something you confirm for yourself and then you practice or cultivate it. 

    It’s a little like your name. For example You’re called Dave since you’re young, therefore, your name isn’t up for question. You have confirmed it for yourself, you’re confident that your name is Dave. Creativity is a little similar. You harness it while young and continu to believe in your creativity. You’ve ticked off that box. 

    Now, I’ve had a long moment in life where I wasn’t being creative, though I wasn’t seeing it as creative. Everyone is creative, just differently.

    Some people make visual art like paintings or writing, sculptures for example. 
    Others have an art which is more subtle, like speaking or carrying themselves a specific way, or sports. Think about rappers for example. It’s an art and lifestyle.

    You have energy, let’s say you have 100 tokens of creativity per day. What do you invest those tokens in? 

    You could either use your creative energy to produce art, and you’d be considered an artist or a painter for example. 

    Or you could use that same energy and apply it to more left brained activities like maths, science or physics. And you’d be considered a physician, a mathematician, or a scientist. Your creativity would be considered the results of your equations and conclusions.

    I believe that it is part of how you define yourself while you’re young too, and what you fortify through repeated confirmations over the course of your childhood and adolescence. So, I believe people lack in creativity, because they’ve maybe not developed that side of themselves. Maybe they don’t lack in creativity at all, its just that the creativity we’re seeing isn’t expected as creativity. 

    Writing a 12 page essay every week -for example- for a law student… – Law students aren’t considered artists, but they practice their art – that’s creativity, they’re creating a 12 page essay, they’re formulating structure and being creative in their capacity to visualise and translate their thoughts on to paper. 

    It’s also about what you put in your mind.

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  • Limiting beliefs and creativity

    When people break down their limiting beliefs, they become unstoppable, more creative.
    How do you define creativity? How creative are you in your business or life?

    I define creativity as an energy, for me its a state of flow where what I envision comes out in writing, speaking, music, ideas and visions or what I can draw or paint. (see www.goldenlining.cloud for reference)

    I would say I am very creative. There’s a difference between creative and productive. These are two different things.

    Creative is the capacity to come up with ideas, to be stimulated and curious and driven to take action upon them. Finding those niche aha moments. It’s like an energy switch. Like turning on a light bulb. The energy behind the switch is something you cultivate and then allocate to whatever outlet, just like electricity. I also practice energetic transmutation, which is harnessing my sexual energy and focussing it towards my creative pursuits, or physical exercise like running or cycling. 

    Creative is the coming up with the ideas before manifestation and having the courage to manifest
    into reality.

    Productive on the other hand is execution (depending also on your state of health and your learnt discipline). For me, productivity is simply applying one’s focus in a direction and simply laying down what we’ve been taught. Rather than the assemblage of concepts, visions, skills and talents.
    In a way, to be productive doesn’t take a very bright mind. It just takes action and discipline. Just do it they say.

    The intersection where creativity and productivity intertwine though is an interesting one. The creative person has become disciplines and knocks out idea after idea and does it well. Or the Productive person, becomes more creative and has moments of brilliance in the repetition. Even chain-work can be done in a creative way. Think of the Chinese workers who come up with effortless and yet ingenious ways to put 100000 articles into packets every day.

    Although, creative and productive seem to be siblings to the same energy. Limiting beliefs tend to be arch enemies.
    In order to break down our limiting beliefs, it’s necessary to visit them consciously. We must discover what it is about our beliefs that is untrue. And put these falsities to the test. Most of the time we’ll fall short and the beliefs will either keep us inactive (which will cause a lot of frustration), or will cause us to breakthrough the none-sense and disconnect from believing in such reductive ideas.

    Positive words, rather than negative one’s tend to be helpful. And incessantly asking Why and not settling for what is a given.

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  • How did you overcome false beliefs?

    Coaching and following my intuition.

    Coaching helped me have an unemotional mirror which would send me clear feedback as to what I was projecting, and unbiased information in order to evolve on specific topics. Through coaching I was able to pinpoint false beliefs by being as vulnerable as could be. Taking note of the words I utter. Observing repetitive patterns and the limitations which come up in my life.

    Developing my intuition – on the other hand- came from trial and error, testing my intuition over and over. Making mistakes over and over, just to see if I was right. Just to confirm the feeling I had in my gut beforehand. And this over the course of a long time.
    This is something you do because you’re curious of the outcome.

    Confronting our reality to actual reality, helps us to see if we are going wrong.
    Where the trial and error of results based action will help us define where we’re going right.

    Also, the test of time helps. As we strive forward in life, we observe inconsistencies. As we confront people and people confront us, our illusory inconsistent ideas tend to pop and we then adapt to things which make more sense.

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  • What motivates you to think outside of the box?

    What motivates me to think outside the box is the crowd.
    The IQ of the group, is equivalent to the LOWEST IQ in the group.
    Let me say that again : The lowest IQ in the group equals the IQ of  the group.

    What does that say for trends in collective society? Think tiktok… 

    I hate being told what to do, and following my intuition and going against the current is something I aspire to. Simply because the decisions I make for myself are better when I’m not influenced by the mob.
    Thinking outside of the box in the context of life is simply a question of survival. 
    There are structures which I find important, but following the rules everyone else has setup, I have found to prove unfruitful and counter productive when I have a vision.

    Forging my own path and believing in myself is my way of thinking outside of the box. Because, contrary to popular logic, following what others tell me makes no sense to my life purpose. Though, it is useful to sometimes use paths which have been blazed before you. That’s just working smart.

    Over all, it’s a question of adapting to what is RIGHT for you.

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  • All we can do is try

    We hold convictions against those who’ve slighted us, only to see that our hurts have made us stronger. If in retaliation we’ve brought upon ourselves guilt and shame and the strength we’ve acquired has been from carrying the weight of our own hatred against a now invisible enemy who has long moved on.

    We cannot save anyone, but we can uplift them maybe to see a light that wasn’t shining their way. Clouded by their faulty judgement, a ray of sunshine can give hope. Like a lighthouse for those lost at sea.

    And if they come to bite the hand which came to feed them, in hope one believes to some extent that isolating one’s self from the offender will make a difference. Though, we’re more aware of the pain and frailties since they’ve shined a light on them. Isolating ourselves from the probability of hurt will cause us to have less allies to hold our hand through our times of trial. If we were hiding from the pain a previous entity created, after opening the door wide to let them in.

    No doors can come to protect you against life. We’re simply at it’s mercy, and if we can suffer as gracefully as we’re permitted, without re-acting upon our fellow brethren, we’ll sleep just a little lighter at night. Nothing can prepare you for loss, except experiencing loss’s. But who on earth would want to experience loss?

    All you can do is show up and be optimistic. Even if you’re not perfect, simply being there to lighten the mood, to bring a smile to someone in pain who’s lost their way. To hold someone you love while they’re feeling down and out, and to remind them gently, that it will all be ok.
    You’re tough, be not afraid.

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  • What affirmations did you use to overcome false beliefs?

    I haven’t found that Affirmations are entirely useful for me. THOUGH…

    I believe we are more like Onions unravelling, and with proper information we chose roles which are more adapted to who we already are. 

    It’s a little like Simon Sineks golden circle in “Start with Why”. We go from inside to outside, not outside to inside, with our why. What resonates from the outside sticks within. Because it’s a question of mirroring. Like when you’re searching for something very specific, let’s say a turquoise Ferrari with Zebra seats. If that is what your internal research is activated for, you’ll search for that and maybe the most similar option. But anything remotely different won’t even register. Why does Google give you Axe deodorant links when you search for Axe deodorant? Why does it not show you lemons and strawberries? It’s about parameters. We all have natural parameters linked to who we are essentially. What sticks, sticks..

    Our lives have already been created and the pains we experience are already in us,
    we’ve already experienced them, we just have to trigger them and let go in order to heal. Once we heal those pains, those hurts don’t make sense anymore, so we don’t repeat them. We’re not controlled by them.

    We become free once we become conscious of something. You’ll find that you’re more of a consumer than a leader if you spend all your time taking from outside rather than giving from inside. For this reason alone, you’ll find that if you are consuming information, coming from outside of your own convictions and confirmations, you’ll be living through others instead of on your own volition: dependance.

    For me, life is a series of confirmations, when situations arise, It’s simply a matter of confirmation and observation. For the work I’ve done prior to the situation.

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  • Impostor Syndrome & Limiting beliefs

    Impostor Syndrome, Mental Health quotes, words typography view lettering concept.

    Growing up, I’ve had many limiting beliefs, and I’ve experienced imposter syndrome. 
    Though, I have found that imposter syndrome came from me not being where I needed to be. 

    You know, there’s an article by Gary V which talks about how entrepreneurs ARE BORN, NOT MADE. Which explains the 5 main points of what entrepreneurs have within which are natural to them. Or at least they’ve been exposed to it enough to bring out what is inside of them.

    So, These 5 traits are:

    • Salesmanship. 
    • A chip on your shoulder. 
    • An independent spirit
    • Understanding consumers and consumer attention
    • and Patience

    When reading this article, I understood, I had all of these traits, and my cv underlined it, just as Steve Jobs said that it’s by looking backwards that we connect the dots. 

    That’s when we see what our purpose is!

     1 Salesmanship 

    I went to sales school and it confirmed what I was, though I wasn’t any good with the academic aspect of it. I had a deep rebellious streak, which most entrepreneurs also have. It’s a childhood thing. Childhood experiences of a Father being away on business or starting business, but also experiencing the effects of their stressed characters while being behind scenes, which has effect on the way they treat those around them…

    My father also has the ability to talk his way into and out of paper bags. Which I’d later confirm for myself on the field while working for a Jeweller selling Swarovski and Pandora to clients: I had the same gift of the gab too.

    2 Having A chip on your shoulder.  

    I cannot remember a time where I didn’t have a chip on my shoulder. I’ve Aways had a deep need to prove I’m better. 
    NOW This is early, I remember when I was 5 at the playground, asking my mum if I was the best. I was born into a certain amount of luxury, though only to the outside eye. On the inside at home, we’d have to experience pain and cold, and struggle.
    So, I grew up believing that we had money, when we didn’t. Which was a real blow to the ego when I found out: I was in fact poor. 
    My mother fought tooth and nail for us to have what we wanted, despite having close to nothing herself. Which also gave me a deep need to succeed in life. I owe it to her, not like a debt, but like a mission
    It’s like being part of the aristocracy with the people around you, yet living like paupers behind closed doors!
    I was also exposed to wealthy families along the way. My best friends would always have some amount of wealth or at least some sort of power in the world. So, I’d always have a sense of competitivity with my friends which wasn’t so healthy, despite us having a good time….

    Also, Simply the need to prove it to everyone, to stick it to those who didn’t believe in me, or who made me feel as if I wasn’t good enough from early adolescence onward. 
    Its all an expression of childhood anyway.  But it all mounts up… 

    3 An independent spirit.  

    As for independence, I’ve always had the need for freedom. 
    I’ve always and I mean Always needed to be an independent thinker. 
    My mother told me I was running at the age of 11 months, and climbing up dangerous walls for example…

    She thought I’d be some sort of mountain guide in extreme situations. Because of all the situations I’d been in physically over the course of my life. Basically, it was just me searching for limitations, searching to push further, searching to do better. 

    Later on in life there was only so much I could discover in the material tangible world, so I went inside. Luckily I am an introvert, so that helped.
    I’d search for the masculin structure a father should provide, or at least as it was absent, I’d push as far as I could as a result of needing to find limits. Distance, situations, anything… 
    My father wasn’t home much, he was mainly at work. I’d always push everything to the extreme. Lacking a father figure, means no identity. For a guy at least.
    Push that further and you’ll find that it’s a lack of references and building blocks for your identity. This means you have to build it on your own and validate it along your
    journey with confirmations.

    4 Understanding consumers and consumer attention

    Understanding consumers is something I’ve done since the age of at least 16 while going into sales courses for example. 
    Understanding consumers on a deeper level, as well as their attention.
    I’ve always been pretty deep into psychology, as well as understanding others. 
    Though I got deep into it after I read The Game by Neil Strauss when I was 17. 
    I started to dig into mentalism and, Ericksonian hypnosis and other techniques and methods. All in the name of love and understanding how to get a girlfriend. 

    Of course, with age you understand that you don’t need to force interactions, they occur naturally…. So, techniques and methods and 3 second rules kind of lose their importance. Though helpful for understanding customers and their desires.
    This was confirmed when I worked at Victoria Magdalena for a year, selling jewellery. Then on a much deeper level when I worked at Apple in customer service. These two jobs alone gave me more than enough understanding of how customers functioned and why they’d buy such and such products. Of course one’s influence would have to be taken into consideration too…

     5 Patience 

    And of course, patience. This is something life puts you up to without asking for it.
    It puts you in many situations where you’re continually tested. Of course, seeing the grander scheme of things, having patience is how you survive. Because if you make a false move, act too soon, or like in sales rush to see the customer or force them to buy a product before they’ve made their mind up. You’ll end up blowing any possible deals for them or for yourself.  

    In retrospect, I’ve done a lot of work on myself to undo limiting beliefs.
    For example: Why on earth would I’d feel paralysed, when time came to take action?!

    I did have one massive limitation to get over despite having imposter syndrome.
    The Fear of Success. For me it was very real. It was Crippling even. 
    Before understanding how it came about…. It made no sense at all that I’d have such a fear within. 
    Especially that I am success orientated, I am driven to succeed, I have an internal Drive for success. I need success’s in my everyday life…. I need to be proud of myself.

    Well, in moments where I’d feel completely paralysed by any possible action:
    publishing my ideas, expressing myself in public, or simply being in collective settings…I’d somehow freeze. Or without going through with anything give up and go back to the drawing board.

    Now, take into account that I’d had sales training, I’d applied “The Game“, I had success with girls, and I was pretty outgoing in high-school. Let’s say I wasn’t much of an introvert back then, go figure…

    Fear of success comes from childhood situations with strong causation from parents over the effect of our mind long term. In other words, your parents affect your outlook.

    They could be critical, get angry if you don’t live up to their unpronounced expectations and could shout out of the blue. Maybe they’re not very patient with you, and could project their fears and experiences (what doesn’t work for them, surely won’t work for you – in their perception). Obviously, in their own way they are just trying to protect you the best they can, because those situations didn’t work out for them. So, it’s only naturel that they’d want to protect you with all they have from experiencing pain and hardship.

    This produced in me the fear of people criticising me, the fear of exposing myself or my ideas and being in the public eye. Or I’d get angry with myself if I didn’t live up to what I set out to do. I’d put a lot of pressure on myself due to that. And in combination all these things would become a sort of paralysis on the road to aspire to one’s father – As all kids do -. I’d put the metaphysical Hand-breaks on so to speak,  which would halt my course of action. This would leave me going round in circles.

    In terms of imposter syndrome, I’ve found that what I am doing needs to be in sync with what I am thinking and aspiring to inside. If I am not aligned within and without, I will have the impression that what I am doing doesn’t correspond to what I am.

    My inner beliefs need to be translated into reality. That’s actualisation. It’s about my expectations. If you are engaged for a specific role, and you don’t have enough internal confirmation you’ll end up firstly doubting your actions, but also doubting everything you attempt.

    Imposter syndrome – for me at least-  vanished the second I started to strive towards my own purpose and ambitions and taking matters into my own hands. 
    Focussing on what you need to be doing stops imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome arises when you’re not on the right path and you’re simply pursuing money for money’s sake. 

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  • We flow more in acceptance than in will

    If writing has taught me anything, it is that we don’t have to expose everything.

    By expose I mean we don’t have to express everything that is going through our minds.
    We are entitled to internal privacy of thoughts, feelings, understandings.
    Not everything that goes through our minds needs to be expressed externally.

    We are entitled to privacy. Just as we are all alarmed by the concept of Google, Apple,
    Alexa, and other software which collects our research data or location.

    For a while, the dilemma of using social media, having to expose every single little detail
    in the faintest of hopes that someone will see something special about who we are in the sharing of our pathetic dribbles of the mind and believe we are worthy of being rich and famous has kept me somewhat inert. Should I delete social media? Should I expose everything? Will I miss out on what is happening and be left behind?

    Truth is, I’m not being left behind, because there isn’t anything to keep up with. 

    This being said, I am in obligation to go at my own rhythm if I want to appreciate life.
    Which is probably the most important aspect. A while back, I saw a quote by the Buddha, saying “It is better to travel well than to arrive”. This hits home doesn’t it?

    Life is so much better when you are going at your own rhythm, not trying to keep up with the latest trends on social media, what every single social media user is trying to sell, influence, promote etc.

    I really appreciate Not doing anything. A little like the concept of processed food, processed information is something to be wary of. Most people using social media aren’t as sane of mind as we could hope them to be. They may have beautiful lives, but they’re probably not in a state of peace though.

    Don’t be guilty, you don’t have to DO in order to BE, life will take care of you if you trust it to do so. There is only so much fighting for something we can do before it becomes fighting against ourselves.

    We’re here to witness and experience life, not to impose our ant like influence upon the world. Sometimes it’s better to let go and flow with the grace of life.

    Open the sails of your mind, and let the wind of life carry you to where you need to go, or at least where it wants you to go.

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  • Quit social media

    I haven’t been on social media for a long while now, and I subscribed again today reactivating my account. I’ve had a few realisations…

    1. Society is empty and running on image and not anything internal. Everyone is running after a concept without actually knowing why they want it.
      “Hey guys, you’re running on empty trying to refuel by stressing out your nervous system more!”
    2. Turning my account off, at first I knew it was bad for my nervous system as I was always stimulated. But I didn’t see the effect on how productive I became when I turned it off.
    3. I gained confidence and wellbeing again. From constantly seeing how well everyone else is doing, the idea that we’re having to keep up with societies ideals and standards makes it impossible to appreciate where we are now.
    4. I started taking action in my life again. Gaining more time, I could focus on what I was thinking as well as structuring my life again!
    5. All my concernes disappeared.  Not being confronted with idiots all day long, trying to gain popularity and fame from snapchat etc is a major life improvement. We don’t hear, see or imbibe anyone’s dumb shit.
    6. I was happy. Focusing on my life, appreciating where I am, and also my gratitude journal, but mainly being comfortable in my now.
    7. I no longer compared. Not seeing someone who has the week later version update of something every 5 seconds can cause us to not appreciate what we have, what we are, and how we are living. Have you got a “Be more productive, work more, become rich!” theme tune running through your subconscious? Never letting you fully relax?
    8. Me time.

    Where social media wasn’t around before 2000, people had less of a need to compare, and thus they were less implicated about everything going on on the other side of the world.
    Even though social media has great effect by keeping everyone up to date, maybe being up to date isn’t what we need after a while. Like old iPhones trying to be the latest teck but can’t keep up with the new firmware…

    For anyone wanting to get a gist of what is going on its great. Otherwise it’s probably hiding issues you have with who you are, your self esteem, or needing to focus on what everyone else is doing to not feel irrelevant. All based upon feeling inadequate, or by fear of being left behind…

    Can we keep up with such a constant flow of information now that we are up to date?
    Do we really need it now that we’ve been exposed to new things?
    Or are we going to continu living in virtual delirium ad infinitum until our brains wear out?

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  • Reclaiming freedom

    “Follow the trends closely to stay connected with the core value of living a truly free, unconventional life.”

    I recently read this statement on someone else’s blog, which immediately sent me spiralling into proportions of rejection and logical nonacceptance.

    How could I accept this statement?!
    So wrong. In fact, everything wrong with the world we live in today…

    You see, it’s impossible to “Follow Trends” and yet be “truly free (to live an) unconventional life.”

    If we are Following a trend, by definition we’re stuck in a box defined by others. A box which defines freedom nonetheless. Sitting around listening to Bob Dylan in a prison cell doesn’t make you any more of a free man. And yes, I am claiming that following a trend is a form of imprisonment based on the rules  in which one has to remain in order to be a part of that group.

    Although, I am absolutely 110% for freedom, I also know for a fact that discipline is what sets us free. This latter part of the equation needs a routine, or a sense of consistence. This consistence is the framework we need to have freedom of expression or creative freedom in what ever subject, domain we are using as a support for our work.

    As a writer and a thinker, my freedom comes from having mostly freedom of attention, focus and timephysical and location freedom don’t bother me as much as long as I can focus on anything I want without any outside imposition on my mind process.
    To me freedom is utter silence and inspiration. Not motivation, because that would infer that I need outside stimulus to get going. Although, I use motivation as a crutch to get myself back on the road. Sometimes we slip out of our zone of genius. It does happen.

    Though, the way I feel free, is based upon how little the outside world has effect on me. Or in other words, how long and unaffected I can stay centered with my own inspired thoughts and dreams.

    For years, I was a prisoner of social media. The idea that we need to keep up with such and such, just as the idea of keeping up with the Kardashian clan on TV, is a leech we carry around with us in our pockets and check to see if our well-being can be altered by checking other peoples actions. This by definition is a cause for misery; Living from the outside in. 

    We’ve exchanged our TV’s for more connected TV’s we carry around in our pockets where people actually tell us what to think. Get the irony of circumstances.
    While growing up, I was proud not to have a TV and many people I knew claimed they were above others because they knew differently than the “folks who were glued to the news”. A few years later, we’re all checking in on uninspired idiots hooking up around a glamorous camp fire in Bali, the scenario of the stories have changed, though the story is pretty much the same, just adapted to today’s standards and desires. Nothing has changed.

    Dependent sheep mentalities will remain dependent and ingrained, simply they are dependent on something else. In fact, when was the last time you left your phone at home to go on a walk? When was the last time you didn’t worry about an urgent and important call you’d end up not receiving anyway?

    Google literally follows us around, keeps track of our movements while collecting data. Zuckerberg has acquired Whatsapp, Instagram and probably has access to information on google collective data way above what we can imagine.

    Think about this for a second, he knows everything about everything we thinkour worries, our desires, our fears… Combine all our information collectively and make algorithms; guess what? You have ultimate mind-control tools.

    Are we really willing to continue feeding all this information so that higher up corporations can use our thoughts and feelings against us? Or will we decide to rebel, thus claiming our independence, cutting ourselves off from the fear of missing out, reclaiming our power and taking back our freedom while we change unbeknown to the algorithms and data patterns companies and governments are using to make decisions on our behalf?

    It’s about time change came around. It’s due time for change. It’s been far too long.

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  • Social media causes Hyper-selectivity

    Swipe. Swipe. Toggle. Swipe. Swipe…

    Our standards have drastically been altered. Being confronted with a constant visual stimulus of change has hardwired us to pick, sift and sort what we think we most desire and/or (depending on our evolution) need in order to be happy, or in other words, what we think we need in order to fit into our respective groupe/tribe.

    The emergence of social media and internet has given us insight, in fact tremendous insight, into our core fibers as singular individuals among the crowd in which we blend day in and day out in our everyday lives. Having a smart phone with access to everything happening everywhere all the time, has given us an almost God-like impression of power over our decisions and choices regarding what we do with our time, money and effort. Yet, if we look closely, we’re very far from God like action. 

    Mostly anyone with an instagram account has had access to entrepreneurial information, insight into beauty tips, luxury tips, photography, bitcoin, world pollution… ; this leads us to learn how to acknowledge our neighbors and understand a bit (a lot) about them. Which also creates an envy for others lives, which can be perceived as “healthy peer pressure” in order to up our standards. Or most likely, people can up their standards so high that human beings cannot attain them… This can also create pressure that we cannot support due to not being in the right frame or mind or health. Which can trigger profound things in us. This also leads to a downside, that some of us are starting to encounter.
    Virtual realities and especially make-believe realities do not exist or are physically unachievable and the actuality of the lives lived on Instagram aren’t always as glamorous as they seem.

    Our attention span has been shortened and people who are avid users, tend to “log off” from their tangible realities as soon as what is being said/seen doesn’t interest them. This also applies for discussions, dating, and many other topics. Could we say people’s patience has been shortened too?

    This breeds a lack of tolerance for anyone who isn’t already in a space of mastery. Which seems inhumain from the perception of anyone who is a little weak, or who hasn’t yet reached that level of success in their domain. 

    We witness a Big contrast between one’s reality and other peoples realities, which makes it hard to accept the realities some of us are experiencing. If we don’t own a 7 star hotel in Dubai, are we worthy of anyone’s attention? Lets hope kindness and humor make up for our apparent material lack.. 

    Lots of time wasting dreaming about what others are doing in some distant paradise, while we twiddle our thumbs in our dingy humid caves.

    Judgement precision bias. People are now judged on their profiles. Instead of actually knowing about the people at hand. We now get to see the people we are talking to, we see their photography skills, their surroundings, and we see what they stand for, or at least their capacity to sell or write themselves up, or not.

    Will we get back to meeting people like we used to? Do we really need our phones in order to live optimal lives? Do we need to keep up with everything? …

    Why social media is a painfully unrealistic indicator of comparison?

    Before social media, and expanding our knowledge of what others have, we ultimately weren’t worried about missing out or even aware that other people had it so good, or had differently.  The idea that everyone gets to see what is happening next door is also detrimental. For a number of reasons. 
    1- Constant need to keep up with what is going on next door.
    2- We can’t compete with others without destroying ourselves in the process. We can only compete with our own limitations. 
    3- The fear of missing out paralyses the individual in a state of needing to constantly check what is going on which furthers the vicious loop.
    4- Privacy no longer has any meaning.
    5- Everyone wants what everyone else has. Originality therefore suffers.
    6- What was once rare, is now common place.
    7- Time can be spent going between our own inadequacy, and others over-achievements in comparison.
    8- We lose track of our own rhythm and thus get stressed out. Is life good in contrast to everyone else’s success in life on social media? No, it’s shit and we all have to lose by focusing so much on content being thrown at us from the four corners of the globe. It’s insane. Today, in one single day, we access more information than that of a human in his entire life, only 400 years ago. It is crucial to sift and sort, and pick content value which gives us meaning, fulfillment.

    Just absorbing information is the surest of ways to burn out our mind and nervous system. It makes for the need to be a specialist in everyone’s eyes. It gives exposure to people who have more resources.
    It pushes people to become loud speakers, and do crazy things in order to have fame and social recognition. It synchronizes us with the rest of the world and people who we don’t need to be connected to. Is life good in contrast to what you need in this moment in time? Yes, you likely have everything you could possibly need to get to the next step/level in your life and actually thrive. Without the fear of missing out, or trying to keep up with he who is next door. We likely feel more free to make mistakes, and take things slower. Taking things in a slower manner actually makes things go faster, because when we take life slowly it’s more fluid. If we find ourselves constantly pushing against doors that aren’t supposed to open for us, or trying to be better just to keep up with who ever is out there in the world, we lose our foothold and slip. As to progress it is up to us to focus on what we can do on a day to day basis. Though, social media also has advantageous sides to it. We have access to information even if we are cut off. We can learn from a distance focus on inner growth, tend to our wounds and pains from the battlefield. We have time to ponder what exactly will be our next step. We get to prepare, as well as tweak and take a step back from activities we’d be far too involved with if living in environments where the busy pace of life takes over our mind process. It gives us access to specific information. It opens doors to knowledge we would have not had access to otherwise. It gives us opportunities to see what is right and what is wrong in the world as well as synchronise our out of date beliefs and then bring back our perspective to ourselves and see what we think is right or wrong.  With so many successful ways to achieve results being exposed to everyone,
    Is it time to focus on more down to earth qualities such as handmade personalised value? Or do we really need to do anything at all?

    What you Need to Know about Social Media

    On the one side, being exposed to all things all the time is an amazing source of development, we get to see what we are and by what we are interested.

    In other circumstances, we’d have no idea that some things exist. This is a good thing. People also get to exchange and evolve no matter where they are which is helpful.

    Discovering many amazing new things, not “feeling” as isolated than as if we had been alone and cut off in a cave the entire time.

    It brings great competitivity and progress which comes with competition.

    Though on the other, the downsides are felt in part due to the depth at which we are isolated or how “mainstream” we are. And also in part, to one’s degree of confidence or lack there of.

    Comparing, which leads us to feeling lesser, unworthy or even unable to live up to “the standard” is a source of pain.

    We can never keep up and this turns out to be draining.

    No matter how much we share with others, we get nothing in return except confirmation about what we already know. “I’m great”, “I’m powerful”, “I’m rich”, “I’m pretty”… which are vanity criteria based on what we already know.

    It also confirms that people who have more financial freedom will be able to show off more, or those who have a standard of beauty which appeals to the masses will be put on a pedestal and valued higher than anyone who is “different” in any way possible.

    In a way, its back to high school with the rich kid/poor kid/ Confident kid/Unconfident kid again…

    This sense of high school 2.0 is very unproductive for anyone who is observing. Also vain and an empty pursuit due to the fact that it promotes “The popular kids”. It really goes to show the reality of “wanting to fit in”. By wanting to fit in, you naturally aspire to be a product of mass consumption, a product of mass exposure.

    Social media also gives the illusion that one is or isn’t necessarily liked based on superficiality.

    This is a faulty parameter which cannot give precise and correct results. It bases everything on the Golden Circle but inside out.

    Starting with What then how then why. This cannot work; as human beings we function from the inside out, not the outside in.

    Why>How>What. Spirit/heart/idea>Method/action>Intention/circumstance.

    In terms of effects on our psyche and our time, it is an abomination. Our minds and nervous systems have become overstimulated and over saturated with information that we don’t necessarily need, want or even Should have in the first place.

    Over 200 years ago, someones entire lifespan wouldn’t have even half of what we are exposed to in a single day. Imagine what our minds are capable of and what our mental limits are.

    Faster, more, better, NOW!

    Though, through fomo  and needing to know what the “next thing is “social media has exposed us to an attachment to our devices. We needn’t fear governments putting Chips in us to see where we are. We are already here, our information is passed everywhere, all the time, to limits far outside of our reach.

    Our minds are saturated, which means are nervous systems are saturated and this is a clear indicator that we need to let go of all outside stimulation, especially devices, screens, and anything which has power.

    We are “PUSHING” ourselves to imbibe information which has nothing to do with us. We are exposed to too much information. None which serves us correctly for what is in front of us in actuality.

    When traveling in another country, I have found that being confronted to constant New information, my mind is thrilled, though my body has no time to rest as it is constantly adapting to the upcoming change of scenery and people.

    The same is valuable for our brains and nervous systems in front of screens. Day in and day out we are exposed to more and more information which never lets us correctly relax and heal our over stimulated sensors. This can be damaging.

    The standards around us have risen above what is humanly possible to upkeep. Over consumption has taken part so much that the world and its natural resources are collapsing. The Ice caps Are melting. Our water is filled with plastic. Governments are actually putting nuclear waste into the sea.

    Corporations, making mass profit are pushing their agenda onto us based on our social media usage, what we read, what we look at etc. Everything around us has become a product to sell. Everything we see is for sale. Our lives have become studies like labrats for usage and profit.

    We are exposed to cultures and trends that have nothing to do with us. We are born in specific parts of the world and for good reason. While growing up in specific places, we have grown to understand and perceive the world around us. The world we see and have action over is what is in front of us, not what is happening half way around the world. This is a disruption in our ways of functioning and takes away our roots, our individuality and unifies everyone with the same styles, trends and exposure which otherwise wouldn’t exist. For example: I used to meet people and observe how they spoke, their linguistic rhythms and their mannerisms. Though everyone is now exposed to the same people. This makes everyone into a clone of someone else and empowers those who have more exposure and who have trend influence.

    Everything you say and do, there is proof to keep you “consistent”. Though as human beings, we are changeable, we are evolving all the time, we make mistakes, we grow, we change… If there is proof of a mistake, you never get to move on, you never get to change, nor do you ever get to be free from something that hasn’t existed for maybe 15 or 20 years.

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  • Social media control

    How can we get our lives back from the grasp social media has over us?
    How can we take back our lives from years of conditioning from social media?

    The first step we need to really acknowledge is that we are being controlled by algorithms enforcing our mental biases. The second is knowing how we feel about it.

    Once we know these two points, we can start to turn things around.
    If being controlled isn’t something you admire or appreciate, especially when they turn your personal data against you, then I bet you’re not going to be feeling great.

    Anger and rage come to mind, fear also. We might even be somewhat curious to know how and why? Though, chances are, there will be a reaction. You just have to be attentive.

    Recently, I’ve been researching the extent to which Facebook has control over people.
    It’s not just Facebook though, because they own Instagram and Whatsapp. Who would have thought, that whatsapp would be using your information against you one day?

    Though, back to the post!

    Once we know how we feel about it, we can decide to use that emotion to fuel our action. Usually we’ll feel a bit uncomfortable, especially when we understand the policies which have been enforced lately.

    This discomfort we experience is a great shifting emotion for us to take action.

    I’ve already deleted my Whatsapp, and I’ve paused my instagram and facebook. I can’t even remember the last time I used them… Though, the way things are going, I’m considering deleting for good. I started my facebook page in 2017 after having deleted it in 2016, in order to join a WorkGroup for a company I was joining. Though, I never really considered deleting it, even if I really am hyper picky about the people who see my feed. So, instead of having 500 to 5000 people like I did in high-school, I’m already very selective and I have about 50 people. Though, even thats too much..

    Instagram can be useful in order to quickly get up to date with specific information. Especially if we use the algorithm to our advantage! For example, if you want to hear about X, let’s say “monkeys” for the sake of it. Then, you research monkeys, types of monkeys, over and over, you save the pictures and like them too. Follow a few pages. And voila! You’ll have the algorithm functioning in your “conscious” favour. Because you chose to create your feed. Though, that feed won’t be related to what you “like” or “feel strong about”. Which is helpful, if you’re only using it for professional usage. It won’t be able to control you, because it’s not proposing anything you’re attached to emotionally.

    For Facebook I haven’t really dug into it enough to give the same types of tips. I also post all of my post, or at least the majority, in private, so only I can see them…
    Though other than that, I really don’t use Facebook. I do, occasionally use the “Messenger” service to contact one of my 50 contacts, in order to ask a question or share some info..

    Having said all this, my next step is to debate and debunk, deleting Facebook and the advantages I have personally witnessed having done it before.

    For a brief moment, losing the content of one’s hard drive can be a painful experience. At least until we accept it and move on to something else, after concluding that we might never get our information back.

    We, can associate all our time and effort put into social media as something we lose when we delete our accounts. Though, something which isn’t said clearly comes as a silver lining.

    When we delete an instagram feed for example, our first instinct may be to screen shot all of our pictures, if we haven’t already saved them somewhere. And then we think about our save file, and we start scrolling. Though, the amount of shit we save on a daily scroll is utter nonsense. We’re hoarders of information! So we pass the screenshooting of saved posts and profiles. That would be tedious.

    Though, our initial response would be something similar to that of losing a hard-drive. Not to mention the time and effort it takes to build a following. I pity the fate of someone who has 55M followers and financially depends on the app for “survival”.

    Pretty much the same can be said about our facebook feed. Although, facebook does propose the solution of bundling up all of our photos and sending them to us in a neat little ZIP folder, amongst other files..

    We mount up the fear, the what-if’s and the potential loss we’d experience if we deleted our account and then we threat about how we’d have to build our account back up from scratch if we need one. Because, low and behold, in todays age we need a facebook page to “sign up” to get an ID card. Maybe not, but nearly.. It’s borderline crazy.

    Deleting a page, although initially can be a little bit freaky while we observe the prospect of being cut off from the world and experience the fear of missing out, can be very much freeing and enjoyable, if not down right peaceful if we let a few days go by.

    Suddenly, we’re not caught up with what’s going on. On a personal level, we’re not trying to keep up with the latest personal development trend, or how to catch 2 days of sleep in an hour by practicing this or that trick…

    In terms of deleting an instagram page, I don’t allow many people to follow me, even if I have a good number of requests, simply because I don’t enjoy sharing what I like and am interested in with everyone. I also don’t believe in building a fake following, so I keep my circle small. So it’s easy to say that the only reason which I’d ponder, if I was to delete my instagram, would be something along the lines of “where would I get that type of information” if not on the carefully curated feed I’ve built up on the algorithm?
    Though, initially we can feel a small pang of regret in deleting, we ultimately end up feeling very freed. Creatively, we then come alive, because we’re not “Following” anymore. We have to take action because life is in front of us, not blocked by our screens.

    By being in control of our media, if we don’t want to delete our feeds. There is however, a few things we can do, if we want to be in control of social media instead of being controlled by it.

    1) Having a conscious list of search items. We need to search for. Not something we’re curious about. But something which serves our goal. A goal we’re already striving for.
    The information we are allowed to experience on social media has to be related to our goal and give us the information we need. Simple, “in, get the info, out”.

    2) Having someone to post the information for you. When you have, which joins the first point, information and ideas you’d like to share. Prepare them in advance and then have a precise time to post them. Which means that you have a plan to use social media to your advantage, but not be consumed by it because you’re searching for some sort of attention or dopamine rush.

    3) Build a life you enjoy, one you don’t want to escape, one that doesn’t get overrun by desires and wants because “someone on the other side of the world is on a yacht with some Russian hooker, showing you a rolex in a rollsroyce…” or something to that extent. You really have to like your life and be consumed by it. You have to have projects and to see where your life is going. If you have doubts and you don’t like your life, you’ll be more prone to “the grass is greener” syndrome and you’ll look elsewhere.

    4) Build relationships which give you everything you need. Not everything you think you want. But which meet your needs. If your needs are met, you won’t be overcome by curiosity for what is happening next door, as you’ll be too busy living your own life to notice.

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  • Social pressure gets in the way of creativity

    Starting with Greeks a very long time ago, not participating in society
    would cast us aside and one would be heavily criticised for not participating in the group. Thus having more of a private life, we would be defined as useless. This is where the word “idiot” stems from.

    While its origins came from the criticism of private people who kept to themselves in Ancient Greece, today the word idiot seems more of a reductory adjective about how stupid or lacking we are in the mind department. It’s difficult not to see how the word has defined an entire culture against any introverted activities which require being on one’s own in order to create. A culture, which doesn’t value introspection and dreamery, time to ponder and create at one’s natural rythme.

    In my last article, I made a reference to Vincent Van Gogh, in Range by David Epstein.
    In Range, David writes about how Vincent spends most of his life trying a vast number of practices, tries many career vocations before coming back to his childhood desire of drawing. Vincent had been heavily criticised in childhood about how he drew and this had created an anti belief about his skillset. His creativity was stifled because he believed he needed to live up to others standards. One night during a storm, Vincent discovers his talent and pleasure of working with paint and the rest is history. Though lived most of his life shunned and feeling a failure. This same process of late discovery David talks about in his book is one that many writers encounter later on in life, after having had adventures and experiences to form who they are and discover what they like. Which solidifies their self identity as an artist afterward.

    Although being called an idiot might have made us feel fear that the entire community would ostracise us in Ancient Greek times. Today, keeping to one’s self is still regarded by many as something wrong. Though, something which wasn’t clear in that era was the amount of people who need that private time to themselves for the creation and the formulation of their creative process. Introverts, Artists, Creatives, anyone who needs to gather their thoughts because they’re sensitive to the world around them, who get over stimulated while in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. They all need one thing, Privacy.

    In today’s world, too many people participate and not enough people listen. This makes for a noise like experience and saturates us. Where a town center would maybe hold 1000 people back in the day. Today our town center is social media platforms. Anyone with any desire to say anything can speak. Only this creates a sort of fog of stupidity which mutes anyone who has anything important to say but doesn’t necessarily have the desire to speak the loudest. This comes back to Rosa Parks during the civil rights movement in America. A silent calm voice holds a far reaching message.

    While young 15 year old ticktokers rake in Millions of dollars for twerking and saying something “likeable” to the culture around them. “Likeable”, what others like. Not anything of value but something they like. Something which keeps them in their mental comfort zone.

    Eating Greens wasn’t considered something I liked when I was young, but I still ate them, because they were good for me. The same goes for listening to counter points of view, different ideas, anything which shifts us out of our comfort zone. This morning
    I started my day with a cold shower. It wasn’t nice at first, but I relaxed into it and came out feeling invigorated.

    All this to say that in today’s world, saying something that people like will make you instantly famous, while what you’re saying doesn’t even need to make sense. While people saying sensical things will seem dull and boring because it’s not exiting or exotic will make you an outcast and you can potentially lose your position. ahem, ahem… Jordan Peterson…

    Anything which isn’t bitesized, condensed, devoid of hard work and meaning, even sensical and grounded isn’t interesting to anyone who was born with a smartphone in their hand. This leads me to the thought of people discovering the outside world.

    Where we had childhoods outside, in the countryside, discovering, imagining, playing, cycling, climbing etc.. Anyone born with a smartphone directly developed the inner world with virtual scenery and adventures but no sense of grounding or reality.
    They didn’t actually have the adventures, they didn’t experience the muscle aches, the cold rain, the setting of dusk, the wind upon their faces, the experience of physical competition while running faster than their friend etc. This lack of external development makes for people who are solely dependant on their phones. Whom, might even be scared to go out for physical adventures. This makes for people who are dependant on notifications and cannot spend time on their own.

    Though increasingly, as we advance through time, real values and respect of the human condition takes a backseat. Money becomes more important, and anyone who doesn’t fit the traits of societies successful pioneers are shunned and outcasted. Doing stupid things in flashy colours, with loud dramatic music and visuals which supposedly catches attention is valued. Is our society full of Stupid people or is it full of idiots?
    Obviously there are idiots (people who need private time to create), but the level of stupidity is high and the number increases daily.

    I’ll be an idiot for now and let the cloud of stupidity pass. Maybe we’re in the morning of our lives and it’s still early in the age of internet. Maybe this fog will pass when they run out of hot air, we’ll go towards a more productive society where people share meaningful content rather than attention grabbing nonsense. Maybe.

    For now, stupidity and idiocy are two different things in my mind. But I will let stupidity pass so I won’t have to strain myself to talk louder than the next…


    “As early as 1856, have interpreted the word “idiot” as reflecting the Ancient Athenians’ attitudes to civic participation and private life, combining the ancient meaning of ‘private citizen’ with the modern meaning ‘fool’ to conclude that the Greeks used the word to say that it is selfish and foolish not to participate in public life.

    “It is certainly true that the Greeks valued civic participation and criticized non-participation. Thucydides quotes Pericles’ Funeral Oration as saying: “[we] regard… him who takes no part in these [public] duties not as unambitious but as useless””

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  • More more more!? maybe it’s time to stop worrying about having and start living.

    This may seem contradictory to where the rest of the world is heading right now.
    Though, for the last months I’ve been all consumed by stock markets.
    Hoping to catch a profit here, or a bitcoin break. Wanting more, because apparently I don’t have enough? I have plenty, I have too much. I have way too much.

    Yet the notion of comparison to others. Not dressing the right way, not having the latest car, the latest phone, etc. Maybe these things would make me “more” in the eyes of others.

    Only by contrast to all this, there is a time in my life where I remember being simply great at what I was doing. I wasn’t worried I wouldn’t have enough. In fact, I wasn’t concerned at all.
    Money has never been an issue.

    It’s only in recent years while stepping into society and “adult life” that money started to become a problem. I wouldn’t get the girl because I didn’t have all the things money could offer. I couldn’t pull up in a cool car and drive her to a restaurant. I thought I needed to be the provider of everything in the galaxy!

    Though, it wasn’t the money which was the problem. It was my self esteem.
    I believed I needed more, because I wasn’t confident enough to hold my ground and stand up for what I wanted and believed in. I was a wimp with a big mouth and a big ego.

    For the last so many years, I set out to “get all the money”. Only then I’d have my own place, my own car, and all potential problems could be solved by “having”. WRONG!

    Life is more finite and subtle.

    There are nuances and subtleties which are offered to you, naturally. Life is a given, and it’s free-flowing and abundant, if you have the right mindset.

    There is a mindset, a way of perceiving things, an acceptance, a trust… in the process, in life its self. By accepting that there is a process, and that the best outcomes ultimately works it’s self out for you, then all you have to do is float with the river instead of trying to battle upstream against the current. Some fish are made for that, some are not. I can accept that I’m not a salmon.

    Now, not to sound like a broken record, because I already wrote an article on not participating in the stock market. Though, there was something inherently pulling me to take action, a deep FOMO. Which, all things considered, made me feel as if I didn’t have enough. As if I was lacking somehow, that I didn’t have enough.

    If there is anything I don’t have enough of, it’s most likely appreciation of myself and how far I’ve come. It’s that comparison to where everyone else is, aesthetically and materially. It’s that looking elsewhere that keeps me from appreciating what I have here and now. And mostly is the reason for my inability to act upon my circumstances.

    Wanting what others have is the biggest insult you can tell yourself. You’ll end up hating yourself for not being good enough, not deserving enough, not something enough…
    And if you have the same amount of pressure to achieve and make things happen as I do, you’ll likely beat yourself up more than anything.

    There is a notion that, the more you have the more you have to lose. For this exact reason, having little sets you free. You’re free from worry that something can happen to your possessions or your money or what ever store of value you’re stashing.

    This is a very present mindset currently, especially in America. The dollar is “falling”, the “Euro” is going to end, fiat is going to implode… and so on.

    Taking a step back, in all relativity, I don’t have too much to lose. I have some possessions, which make my current life comfortable. Though, if tomorrow morning everything went to shit, putting everything I need in a few suitcases and a backpack and I’d be on my way. It’s important not to get too caught up with the idea that we constantly need more because we’re caught up in other peoples fear based narratives of low self-esteem and insta-comparison. We get pulled into the news, the fear mongering videos, the apocalyptic scenarios, the worst case scenario visions. We go down a rabbit hole and end up needing to consume more and more, because we need to gather more information. God forbid we miss out on something which could save us from falling straight down to hell..

    Something to acknowledge before doing so. If there is hell within you, it’s already around you. If you’ve been down to the bottom pits of your hell and you’ve debunked your difficulties and fears and you’ve struggled and come out stronger after doing so, nothing should really scare you. There is nothing you haven’t already faced within that can scare you on the outside. Talking from my experience, I’ve pretty much done most all the things which scared me and decidedly confronted them head-on with the intent of getting them out of the way for a better life.

    Being exposed, ridiculed, out of shape, ugly, smelling bad, looking bad, dressing poorly, having no money, throwing the keys to my apartment away and being homeless, losing my girlfriend to a “good friend”, confronting death twice, psychiatry thrice, psychiatrists and being drugged out of sanity, being rejected, being in a twisted plot of events, losing my mind, being mugged, losing for 10k of personal possessions, coming out as transgender and then doing it to my family and friends, which brought me to learning empathy, learning to express emotions, developing my feminine side and accepting it, losing friends and foes, health issues due to hormones, dropping the transition because it was based upon an acute delirium and mental sickness, being isolated, being ostracised, losing my confidence, depression, anxiety, wanting to kill myself repeatedly, losing my health, going to prison for stupidity, having my mugshots done for not paying a 5 star hotel room, having my finger prints taken, being nude in public and walking through a fountain, believing wholeheartedly that I was the reincarnation of a dictator and having to then go through all the pain that he had created in his life time as karma…

    Having to build myself back up as a man, rediscovering my confidence, my voice, standing my own ground, building my mind and self esteem, and so on…

    There is literally nothing which should really get to me, especially now that I’ve come out from all this. I have triumphed from the obstacles I set up for myself to become the man I wanted to become, one who can listen, who can stand his own ground, who has empathy, who is smart and foreseeing, who cares deeply, who is worthy.

    So, if there is an economic crash. Bring it on. I already live in poverty. If I miss out on stocks going up or down, so be it. But I will not, by any means spend my time glued to my phone screen looking at candle sticks going up and down hoping for a potential 20% gain or loss every 5 seconds. That’s not a life to live.

    Looking at the life I’ve lead so far, I’ve been on my own adventure, pushing and testing my own limits. Observing how I react, why I react. Watching my reactions. Scrutinising my actions. I have been over myself with a microscope, I’ve looked for my flaws,
    I’ve accepted them, I’ve embraced who I am. Now fucking bring it on, I’ve passed the obstacles swimmingly.

    The main thing I observe, is that I’ve been too consumed with trying to live up to everyone else’s standards. What success is to them, is not what it is to me.
    I am profoundly alpha, in that I lead my path my own way and don’t give a damn about what others think. I lead with compassion and strive to do the best for everyone around. I believe in myself and I know I can overcome anything, because I have overcome every difficult challenge I’ve put upon my path. I’ve developed a healthy faith and a trust in the process of life. I am grateful for the experiences which I’ve experienced.

    As I close this chapter of self doubt in my life, I enter a social media free, fomo free chapter where I thrive.

    Money isn’t and never will be a concern. A minimalistic and driven purposeful life
    I enjoy living, because every day is a new adventure of discovery either within the illimited confines of my mind, or the brilliant and interesting people I meet along my journey.

    There’s a moment in life, where, when we succeed, we no longer experience struggling. We enter a moment of ease and fluidity, lacking the fear we held while surviving. This is where we stop learning and become complacent.

    Funnily enough, getting outside of my comfort zone was never a problem for me.
    My difficulty resided in being in a comfort zone. In confronting those inner demons,
    it’s the home life which became accessible to me. In doing so, I altered my perception of the external world around me and the way I experience it. By accessing internal comfort at home and accepting it. Stepping outside changed, I stepped outside holding within me a deep sense of security and comfort. Between myself and I.

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  • Introversion or something else?

    You know how we tend to want to put a label on ourselves to define who we are so we can be a part of something? It comforts us, it allows us to feel maybe as if we belong.
    Well, that label can also be restrictive in fully harnessing our potential.

    I’ve concluded that maybe all introverts aren’t necessarily right about being introverts.

    Maybe we all have the capacity to be extroverted. Which makes us Ambiverts. I believe it relates to our beliefs about pain and pleasure. Maybe who we are isn’t set in stone; as much as that can provide comfort, it could also provide hope to know change is possible. Maybe there is an underlying fact we’re not acknowledging, maybe the definitions we’ve been given and taken as written in stone aren’t as solid as we think they are.

    “When the student is ready, the master will appear. ” – Buddhist saying.

    If we associate other people with pain, then being around them will be painful because our mind is set on seeing them as painful. Even if rationally we can see that they’re not actually hurting us. It’s fairly easy to grow up with the belief that others equate pain.
    We then experience people as pain. We’d rather hang on to negative beliefs which don’t serve us anymore rather than take a risk to change our beliefs for more positive one’s which could bring a happier existence.

    It’s also fairly easy to assume that extroverts to assume that others equate pleasure.
    If we look at the difference in their nervous systems, “introverted” people are more sensitive which would lead to feeling the same hurts more intensely. Which could lead to being more responsive and so defensive in the event of a potential hurt.

    Ok, fair enough, for this example lets put someone in a box and call them an introvert. It’s convenient. It helps us to define a state, maybe even an expression or a way of interacting or dealing with the world.

    If extroverts have less sensitive nervous systems, then it stands to reason that, their senses are less sensitive. If they’re less sensitive, then it also stands to reason that they need to develop and grow their energy a lot more from early on, in order to meet the requirements to feel and sense the world around them, and also interact.

    Think about how much volume you’ll need to say something through the base of your audio system. Now think about how easy and how low amounts of volume you need to get a message through a speaker. I’m pretty sure, you’ll hear the highs easier than the lows. It’s just clearer. Then again it depends on the quality of your hearing. Lets assume you do.

    In introvert terms, high relates to sensitivity. If some children are more sensitive to the environment around them, it stands to reason that they’ll feel more shocked, more intensely, more fear, more pain… Which means that they’ll regulate themselves from early on instead of intensifying the amount of energy they have in order to get a message out like the extroverts.

    One seems to be bold, where the other is refined. At least in terms of nervous system.

    All this being said, in the idea that introverts were given the perfect upbringing. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that they’d gain from developing, and growing their energy so they can feel more intensely? To feel is to encompass the pain and the joy, the happiness and the fear, the anger and surprise and everything. So, I can only imagine that the creation of a fearless introvert would be far more effective than an extrovert.

    I say this bearing in mind the idea that if we sooth the harsh visions of our childhoods and transform our views about the pains we hold, that maybe we could put aside the notion of introverts and extroverts. That the sensitivities which hold us back, are maybe simply linked to pains we have not yet visited, which we are unaware of, and which keep us viewing the world a specific way, through that “sensitive” lens.

    Can we link our pain points to not being heard instead of relating pain to others?
    Can we link our pleasure to others and to the spontaneous exchange in civil societies around us? If so, then by linking our internal beliefs to different axes, we’ll end up changing the world around us and the way we see.

    Maybe we don’t need to be as sensitive, if we can feel secure? Maybe we don’t need to be blunt if we can be more confident? Maybe soothing each others dramatic points of view could create a more harmonious world around us…

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  • We shape our fate

    Is the universe around us dictated by the collective? Or is there something else at play which guides us through challenges with a sense of purpose, feeling and ease but still hangs slightly out of our control?

    In French the Uni-vers is written without the E at the end. As it literally translates as United Towards,
    it got me thinking. In a way when we speak of the “universe”, are we saying that the universe is God? when we employ universe meaning that the general state of the world is pushing one towards something in particular? We can perceive the universe as some omnipotent force which somehow guides us towards our highest interest or some higher good?

    Though, deep down as a rebel, one wonders if we really have to follow the collective direction, or if there is some sense of freewill we can apply to create our own path..

    Do we have to participate in where the world tends to be going? Or is it entirely possible that we create our own path and walk in a different direction to where everyone seems to be going?

    There’s a quote I like by Nir Eyal, although many other authors such as Zig Ziglar or Jim Rohn have said similar things:

    “If you don’t plan your day, someone or something else will.

    The same goes for your life. If you don’t have a plan and direction for your life, someone else will have one for you and you’ll end up going in the wrong direction, especially if you have a vision of where you want to be.

    So, it stands to reason that, if the universe guides you in a direction you don’t want to be going in life, you’ll generally have to adapt and use where the universe is guiding you as an opportunity, or refuse to flow with the current of life and be bull headed about creating your vision on your own.

    Generally I’ve found that if you’re forced to go in a direction which is not of your choice, we can perceive the universe as going against us, and when things are working for us favor life tends to work for us. But if we deconstruct this perception, it becomes a question of mindset. Because whether we’re here or not, life continues and the universe plods along non-the-wiser.

    I suppose that in the general sense, people are mostly carried along by life and life happens to them, or somehow pushes them along. Instead of being in control of the direction they are headed,
    many seem to be like kites flowing in the wind, just gliding without a particular direction in mind.

    They feel lucky when somehow money comes their way, and ill of luck when they lose it.
    Though, is luck anything other than the amount of preparation we have to endure those up or down moments?

    If you’re a race car driver, chances are that your skills allow you to be more in control when something dangerous happens on the road. And by the same logic, the chances of you enjoying those same skills in great road conditions are extended too!

    Our skills are like the sails of a boat. We must harness them in order to make the most of the opportunities of wind. Also, We can’t take a direction if we’re not clear on where we’re going in the first place… And to find those skills and passions that we enjoy so much, we must first undergo some in depth searching, trial and error. One needs time to ponder and dig within. We’re either lucky and we’re born with the right set of circumstances which allow us to know what we want to do from the get go, or we get the chance to discover it for ourselves over the course of circumstances as “the universe” unveils” it for us.

    Being someone who’s deliberately chosen to go through pain in order to confront his “inner demons”, to discover himself, and also to find a degree of confidence from within. I can assure that it’s a long process in which we’re not in control, we go through many pains and internal difficulties, to then somewhere along the path have “Aha” moments where we confirm what sticks, what repeats and what doesn’t.

    Having also let go of my locus of control in order to witness “Life”, I let life happen to me. And what I found wasn’t entirely of my choosing. Without being the one in control of what circumstances one wants to be in, life simply happens to us, we spend long waits in waiting rooms, long waits in uncomfortable environments, long bus rides with noisy people, and so on. We’re also pretty much just floating aimlessly in any direction and at the mercy of anyone who happens to be going that way. Not the most enjoyable process.

    Getting back to personal control, letting life happen to us seems pointless, as we’re not consciously working towards a goal, or fighting to make it happen. If we don’t have an internal propulsion to strive with purpose, our life becomes empty and even a little bland. Long waits in silent places, where only the sound of clock hands ticking accompanies you to your never ending, never arriving destination. Waiting for Godot.

    Though, from my comprehension, life must come neither solely from dependency on external circumstances, nor should it come from giving up all will to some intangible source of power which gives no orders, no clear directions, or even any understanding. We don’t want to be kites in the wind. We must define the purpose in our life, the direction we’re going in, and the definition must be in sync with where we are and where we want to go. We must be able to work with it and it must be accessible for us to use as a base point to go forward from. Otherwise we’re dealing with dreams and achieving near nothing. Sitting idle in contemplation (which isn’t a bad thing, though everything has its time and place) isn’t constructive, as the very nature of contemplation is to contemplate.

    To be subtly guided by the collective can be perceived in other terms such as “Keeping up” with technological advances, whats happening on social media, having a phone which is up to date with the last update, the latest scientific advances, the latest Ted talk and so on.. Or to be driven by an external force, as if sitting on a train going in a direction without having a say over the direction of said train. For example working for a big corporate company, where you represent only a tiny cog in a very large machine.

    We might coin the term serendipity when we start to follow our own path, where things start to pop up and make sense to us in a way or another. Though, it’s simply that the reality happening outside of ourselves is aligned with what we’re thinking, to a degree and we’re seeing synchronous
    happenings. Which begs the question, do we materialize our thoughts, or do we simply witness external events because we are already aware of them?

    Even though we don’t know clearly what we’re doing, we must have a direction, a plan; something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for. And in doing so, we strive for something, a sort of change or evolution, in which we’re somehow a part of, or which we’re the causation of. We need to feel a sense of importance, a sense of transcendence in relation to a point of being perceived as stagnant and consistently always the same. Which underlines how important work is. Work is a guideline, a north-star,
    which we strive for day in and day out. It’s what keeps us in our process. And this doesn’t have to be for someone, or solely for money. Work is what keeps us evolving, progressing, moving towards something.

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  • As above, so below

    You cannot fake happiness. Or if you do, the happiness you’re faking is so well imitated that everyone else gets the benefits but you. The same goes for success, or anything else where being in an authentic state supported by your external circumstances is required. The same goes for anything else worth experiencing.

    This is why when you see a 20 year old on social media driving a sports car, and walking in a sky-scrapper apartment, you know off the bat they rented the car and somehow managed to “visit” the place they’re walking around in stupidly with quotes such as “I used to be poor, purchase my course to discover how I did it…” schemes.

    Though most often, we witness other types. Where people who are good looking and well dressed,
    have access via their entourage, to luxurious places, or present themselves in such a luxurious manner that it’s difficult to doubt their state of finance. Even if they have little to nothing set aside for themselves.

    You can’t meet people who are successful, if you don’t have that level of development already within you.

    I grew up around wealthy friends, and wealthy friends of parents, and somehow imbibed that degree of wealth in my way of being. Though, I also witnessed how hard these friends worked. So, I know what it takes to get from where they started to get to where they are today. It takes time, effort and a lot of down time where they miss out on parties and many enjoyable things. They essentially give up on those events until they’ve reached a phase where they can proclaim that they’ve made it. Unless they’re in university, and at that point they’re just flaunting their parents success mixed with the pride of passing an exam.

    Though, it’s ever so important in todays environment, to observe what is actually true to what looks successful. Even a business can mascarade as successful by using venture capital money to buy glass doors and state of the art computes.. But if they’re not generating money based on a functional system,
    they’re essentially flaunting someone else’s.

    The attention economy asks for us to show off, give our information away, show others how well we’re doing, how smart we are, and give away everything which is most important in the hopes of blowing up on instagram or tiktok or worse, in the hopes that someone will come and give you money because they see your potential.

    As much as these dreamy scenario’s exist, they really aren’t anything to hope for as they don’t constitute something one needs a skillset to do. Simply appeal to a specific audience due to your socio-economic base context and every single person in that same environment will like what you’re doing because it brings out something on their level as well. Example, a teenager dancing and saying stupid things. All teenagers in school do the same thing. Which makes them likeable as its a trend they can all access. Like the Apple logo club. If we have an Apple device, we suddenly become part of a select few who can afford
    beautiful overpriced devices with very little capacity for evolution. – Yes I said it, don’t hate… –

    Though, as humans, we all have similar capacities within us. Until we forge paths through difficult uncomfortable mountain paths through bramble bushes, have to jump over lava and get punched in the face by life. Then, the similar capacities everyone has, have little to no value, because anyone can do them. If it isn’t rare, it’s common, and if its common it’s probably very accessible. And who says accessible, also says cheap or tacky. – In most general circumstances at least.-

    This is why Rolex is perceived as a status signalling good. A sign of luxury, of wealth, of success.
    Because not everyone in the Market can buy one. Its value is slightly higher than a Tudor or quite a bit more than a Swatch.

    Humans are a little like watches in that regard. Certainly some are like imitation Rolex’s with Chinese clockwork, and some are like Festina. The value is about the internal components. We know a Rolex when we see one. This is why we value some people and discard others. We know fake people, and know -most of the time at least- real people.

    Though when the trials arise, and the watch is to be submersed under depths of water including pressure. The quality of said watch suddenly shows. Pressure exposes real from fake.
    It’s the same with success, or relationships, or quality of work. Good elements become clear over time.
    Initially, everyone may give a great impression or con you into thinking that they’re a good element, but overtime our thoughts and intentions become apparent.

    We cannot fake quality. We cannot fake wealth. We cannot fake health. We cannot fake having done the work. If we do celebrate achievements before they’re completed, we run the risk of missing out on the value of celebration all together, as it will seem somewhat empty.

    When you meet someone in the dating pool who is attempting to be rich for example, something will seem a little off, they will seem skittish, or be triggered, or play games, in order to mask the poverty.
    We cannot hide what we are for too long. We cannot fake what we are. We cannot get away with pretending. It’s just not enough.

    The work must be completed before, the trial of time must be experienced, the pressure must form us and be acknowledged, and we must be what we claim to be.

    If we so much as make it without having a system in place, we might live a successful moment in time,
    but overall, that moment won’t give birth to anything sustainable over time. Because we ourselves don’t have the patterns to keep that success, or that wealth, or whatever it is you achieved through scheming the system.

    Just do the damn work!

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  • To recharge ourselves

    This morning, I picked up Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus – by John Gray, and upon opening it I probably discovered the singular main point of the book. Women and Men need to receive two entirely different things from one another.

    On the one side Mr Gray expresses that women need, in order to get on well, specific traits such as,
    1. Caring, 2. Understanding, 3. Respect, 4. Devotion, 5. Validation, 6. Reassurance. They need men to do what is natural to men.

    While on the other side men need women to be trusting, accepting, appreciative, admirative, approving and encouraging. What comes natural to women, or normally is. You might have read the book and currently think to yourself a quiet dismissive “…and?”

    This brings me to the fact that in order to become a man, a boy must develop the ability to care, to understand, to respect, to be devoted, to validate and to reassure another. But only in so doing this for ourselves can we do it for another. A man must become his own pillar before jumping into a relationship, and that pillar must be fortified and full rather than hollow and shiny, which are more feminine aspects.

    And vice versa, a woman must learn to Trust that a man isn’t here to hurt her, that he’ll do the right thing, to accept and appreciate him for his flaws and strengths, to admire his valiant nature and to approve of what he cannot change, and encourage him to become better.

    It seems to me – relating to the book and common sense- that a woman then is like a carrot on the end of a stick for a man, who surrounds and englobes him, embraces him and helps him to become a better man in a form of loving leadership.
    While a man is more like the motor, the donkey who pushes the system forward, who provides the energy to go forward.

    Some women don’t grow up with a correct example of a father and go forth with a wonky biased foundation in life. From the get-go they don’t trust or accept, or even appreciate themselves, they barely admire anyone, let alone approve of anyone’s efforts and don’t even get started on encouraging anyone. We cannot provide for others what we cannot do for ourselves. And we cannot provide for others if we ourselves have not been taught. Which means that a woman doesn’t even have the structure to embrace a man, she just wants to be “filled up” energetically, financially, emotionally. Which is why many women solely accept a man if he is rich and if he is, she’ll quotecling to him” if he corresponds to her conscious wants.

    The same is true for men. If they don’t grow up with a correct example of a mother, they’ll go forth with wonky foundations…
    How can they become caring for themselves, and understand themselves, and respect or even be devoted to themselves?
    How do they validate and reassure themselves, if their primary masculine image wasn’t there? How do they do so if their mother wasn’t there to properly lead the way and form them? How does a man step forth positively into life, if his father doesn’t provide the structure for him to be centered and grounded and lazer focussed towards an outcome? How does a man step forward and care for another, understand another, respect anyone, devote himself to, validate singularities and differences, and reassure himself and others, if he himself wasn’t taught that, wasn’t shown that, wasn’t loved this way first? Which is why many men, will only momentarily “fill up” a woman in regards to energy, finance and emotions but not actually stay for long as he might need to “recharge” to repeat the operation.

    So, a man must fill himself up, fortify, become full in every aspect of his life first before attempting to meet any woman. But not only. He must care for himself first, understand the workings of himself, learn to respect his own ways and optimise himself, devote himself to specific causes and be loyal until completion and solid in his pursuit from start to finish, he must validate his own attempts, his own outcomes, and reassure himself that he can reach his vision enough to apply his courage and go.
    And all of this takes a while, it takes effort, and it also takes a lot of deep inner work and observation, especially if psychologically inherited patterns come as obstacles to personal development. All of this work is important and even essential in building our structure as a man. But this prompts my next questions.

    How does a man fill himself up? How does a man Recharge? Can we fast charge? Can we replace the faulty batteries with brand new ones?

    I’d like to start to reply to this by talking about the difference between poor kids and rich kids, and free and fee schools. And then give an example of my own life experiences to portray what may possibly allow us to fill our batteries.

    The development between community or free schools ( free schools open to everyone from all walks of life) and private or public schools (schools which are a tad more costly but will provide a better service). Both schools teach the same content, but the way in which the content is delivered, the way in which the pupil is encouraged and empowered by the teachers differs.
    On the one hand the free schools tend to be over populated and teachers may have less time for each pupil, while fee schools tend to be less overpopulated and the pupils get the attention and guidance they need. This creates a highly different outcome in a pupils development. But the point I wanted to get to is that the rich kids, who have encouragement from the outside world, through schooling and teachers from very early on, also have a more structured home life as opposed to their poorer less favoured free school peers. Their home life is composed of routines, multiple activities (sports, games, reading, disciplined processes, music lessons, language, homework, cooking lessons, and so on…). This isn’t to say their lives are better or worse, but simply to distinguish their mental development and applies processes over time which is how they develop and apply their energy.
    So, let’s focus on these lucky kids for a second. I feel privileged enough to say I had this kind of upbringing also, or similar, which is why I believe I can understand and make the connexions and portray this article.

    While growing up, I had best friends, their parents almost all had astronomical wealths, so they grew up in sumptuous environments and most all had many activities on the side. And as we had “play dates” or afternoons together, I got to experience their astronomical wealth the same way they did, minus the possession of the objects or environment. But more importantly, I got to live around them, their parents and was exposed to the mindsets and their developments.

    We played soccer together, ran, competed, played video games together, even at some occasion studied together, witnessed each others Christmas’s and birthdays, and regardless of the money, we enjoyed each other as friends and the quality of each others minds. Which for me was the most important going forward in life. On the one hand I saw how their parents applied discipline with them, and felt lucky as to the sense of freedom with which I grew up, and on the other I saw how my sense of freedom felt devoid of external discipline, so I had to enforce my own as my parents are pretty free and open people who allowed for as much freedom as I wanted even while young.

    On a personal note, in my formative years, we grew up on an Apple orchard of about 2 hectares, with miles of forest surrounding it. Left alone with my mum, I could explore my surrounding world as much as I wanted, had access to pretty much anything I wanted, from applied sciences to guitar, from soccer to guitar, tree climbing and bashing through fields with a stick imagining I was a knite, I’d wonder off around the house and discover streams and ponds, played cricket, and even did some additional boxing when I wasn’t up. My upbringing was highly free, even to an extent magical thanks to my parents. And all of this allowed for a sense of feeling that the world is mine to discover.

    My father was a pharmacist and an entrepreneur who frequented “the high society” and serviced them with fine Chocolates from Belgium and other entrepreneurial pursuits, the Arts, Jazz, poetry and introduced me to reading and books from a very early age, prompting the development of my mind etc. He’d do everything possible to open my mind as much as possible and create an amazingly interesting and diverse life. A highly creative man, a genius or sorts. And my mother was brought up in London, to a highly educated Dad, who studied at Cambridge, taught history and later became a journalist. While her mother, a highly understanding and educated creative. My mother, an artist, a highly caring individual, a wonderful person who provided all and everything and would maybe even go as far as to lie in front of a train if it were to help my cause. A beautiful soul, a patient, loving and caring soul who allowed me to discover my own path while guiding and keeping me safe.

    All this to say that, as much as I can observe rich kids, rich friends and my own magical and favoured upbringing, there are some key points which stick out.

    Our early development and degree of access provides for many different choices and applications of ourselves.
    The different sports, and the fulfilment of our curiosities, the friends whom we get to compete with, the teachers who guide us to better ourselves, the coaches who encourage and urge us forward to surpass ourselves and so on, all make for the development and application of energy in multiple ways. For us to reach our highest selves.

    So, how do we fill ourselves as men?

    We push ourselves, we must grow, internally and externally, we must go through pain to develop muscle, endurance, sticking power, and so on. We must be disciplined also with the application of our developed energy, in having a lazer like focus and the patience of a buddha. We must love the path we chose, which means we must have a wide and patient sampling period where we discover 1) Who we are 2) What applies for us 3) What we truly enjoy repeating and getting better at.
    As men, to fill ourselves up means we must develop our energy through sports, strength, endurance etc.
    We must also have an enjoyable process where we fill our minds with quality grade content, patterns, process’s.
    But more so, we must learn to capture, and control the flux of emotion through expression in a healthy way. Too much and like a tiny hole at the end of a garden hose the pressure will likely be hard to control, too little and we’ll need to put our finger on the end to create pressure, without which the water will slowly trickle and we’ll have a hard time directing the water.
    The middle ground where we have the right flow of output, and strong energetic input.

    We fill ourselves as men, by finding our perfect balance. And with a routine of energetic and informational input, as well as energetic saving and internal distribution, to then have a specific output.

    If we spend more than we have, we’ll end up with less. If we keep more than we spend, we won’t grow in relation to our output or make mistakes to learn from, we’ll end up maintaining a situation.

    We must find the perfect balance between what we can save, what we can spend, and what we can input into ourselves (Quality food, quality information, quality relationships, quality patterns, quality effort, and so on.).

    What is then the relation between the perfect balance, and the standards we maintain for ourselves?

    If you liked this article, feel free to support my writing with buymeacoffee 🙂

  • New years resolutions
    Is it not better to not make a new year observation? It’s a new decade! Looking back over the years, we make new years resolutions every year, only to not keep them, or to find ourselves with gym memberships, hyper expensive gym equipment clogging up the front room or a years supply of weight watchers tasteless processed foods coming to your door week after week… The point is, we don’t need to wait until a specific date to start doing something we know is good for us. Or anything for that matter. Waiting to start something. And why do we have to wait until a New year to start something New, with our old habits still in place? Isn’t it better to take our time, achieve the goals we already have and only when we have achieved the one’s we have can we set new ones? Isn’t it better to take time to contemplate what we have achieved in the past year, and build on that instead of Starting anew? What was wrong with last years resolutions? – Aren’t you going to make pretty much the same this year? Maybe not. Though, for many of us, the repetition of setting a goal, only to not go through with it until completion is probably worse than the having the ambitious goal in the first place. Maybe we need to go about mastering the mindsets we already have, and build with our natural inclinations. Observe our essential state, what we respond best to, how long we take to recover from X and Y exercise, how long it takes for us to see a difference with such diet, or how we feel about what we want before setting out to get it. So far, we’ve seen that it is not the possession of the objects that make us happy, but in the striving for them. It’s the struggle to achieve such and such which grant us with the blessed results. It’s not the results. Once we have the results, we want more/better/different. Maybe, we ought to search for ways of consistent change. Workouts that we live throughout our day to day lives. Like walking up flights of steps instead of elevators. Using a bike to get a pint of milk instead of taking a car. Setting time aside for ourselves to reflect, reassess, resource ourselves, before the day or the next day comes. Making lists of our negative traits, honestly, and asking for those around us to point out our negative traits in order to work on them more in depth. Though, not forgetting to make Positive lists of what we are capable of, what we have achieved, and what we are to remind ourselves in our down times. The idea of having a C.V. isn’t just great for work, its a reminder of what we have achieved academically, or what experience we have. Having the likes of a Modeling book, but for our accomplishments is a great way to keep us aligned with what we can do, while also giving us confidence and clarity that we can achieve it again during our times of self doubt.  Worst case scenario, you can create an instagram page -anyone can do this- and take a photo of your achievement each time, and post it. You don’t need to have a fancy following, nor do you need to follow anyone. This is for yourself. In fact, I’d advise to create a private page, where you can simply have an online reminder account of what you have achieved. Another idea would be to have a timeline. Create a timeline from your birth, or from your conscious years and along side that have a bucket list. With your timeline, observe the big events which you are proud of, what you have achieved, your failures and moments of changing paths etc.. and with your bucket list, you can then strive towards ticking off each entry on the list and consciously placing each element on your timeline. You can use “Trello” for this which is an easy organising system. Did you know that Aboriginal tribes people don’t celebrate birthdays, nor do they celebrate the passing of time? They will celebrate a success, an evolution, passing a difficult point in one’s life… in other words, they celebrate what matters. What do we do? We add another itemised  list of things to-do that we think we might need to accomplish in order to be happy. Then we sync our iCal and our Google notifications and spam ourselves with reminders to do more. Maybe the secret remains in doing less. Coming back to our new years event, maybe we should take time out to contemplate what it is that isn’t working well for us, cut out what is holding us back, redefine what it is that we want, but most importantly take time to admire what we have accomplished this year. Maybe it’s not all about achieving, but simply living. Do we need to achieve to feel content? In fact, that is what needs to be defined. What makes us feel fulfilled, isn’t necessarily about achievement, but meeting our needs and the needs of those around us with our basket of personal talents. At this point in life, I want to be less hard on myself. This is about where I am in life. Not about what I want this year. In fact, life is more milestones and checkpoints, with inner confirmations and what feels right to us than it is about to-do lists, achievements, sixpacks and squats… In fact, at this point I want functionality and efficiency. I’m not searching to be the best, nor am I searching to be better than anyone. Right now, my north star is having optimal health, being physically capable, having good relationships with others, listening to my body, my intuition, and how I feel. Having goals that show on the outside start from the inside. Since last October (2018), I’ve been planting some healthy seeds in my mind, reading interesting uplifting books, taking steps to get back to health, become aware of what I am doing that is affecting me, etc. and I’m taking my time about it. I’m pretty much undisturbed by others at this point. I’ve cut myself off social media, hardly spend time on facebook (only for practical reasons like selling something, or a contact I don’t have on my phone…), I’ve deleted my instagram account, and I’ve started feeling better. No, actually I’ll correct that; I’ve started feeling great ! I’ve started going out again, I’ve started meeting people, going for bike-rides, setting goals outside… By all means, clean out, make space for new things to come. Of course. But, what I am saying is, accept what you have, be happy with it, and use it to get more of what you already have. Rejecting what you have/where you are won’t help you. It’s like shooting yourself in the foot because you don’t like your foot. Then you’ll be limping, might have to amputate your foot, and you’ll have a carbon foot instead which probably isn’t what you want. (Sorry if there are any amputees reading this, I mean no harm!) This year, Take a look at what you have done, instead of looking at what you want to do. Take a look at where you are, compared to where you want to be. Be grateful for what you have, instead of always wanting more.
    • Observe more.
    • Note down what you have accomplished so far, on your way to your North star (its an adventure!)
    • Define what has been working for you.
    • Define what isn’t working so far.
    • Redefine why we want certain things, instead of simply wanting them to please others.
    • Struggle well – Read Ray Dalio’s “Principles”
    • Efficient incorporated workouts in our day to day lives
    • Make a Bucket-list Timeline
    • Celebrate what matters over unconscious traditions
    • Have a North star to go towards, but don’t time it, go with the flow of life.
    • Do what is essential, healthy. Don’t force against the river, you’re not a salmon!
    • Have a break from social media – you deserve it after all these years of saturation!
    It’s time for a change from everything we have been doing. Time for a different approach. Maybe it is the new year after all… 🙂 young-man-sits-on-the-beach