While the devil will try to trick you, and what to do if you’re stuck in a form of prison cell, even if its within you.
If the Devil can convince you that you can’t have what you want in the future, he will tempt you into giving up everything in the near present.
At the start of 2024, I experienced a trauma, and have been stuck within that bottle, unable to pop that cork. Going round in circles, unable to get to the other side to enjoy what life has to offer. – It’s taken my ability to feel anything, my ability to exercise, my ability to feel emotions, my inner impulse and guidance system, it’s taken my ability to have a clear mind, and it’s taken my ability to feel certain about the future. It’s taken my energy, and has made me doubt, given me confusion, and made me feel cut off from the world. 2 cm away from success and the devil puts you in hell. FFS… Right?
But, this isn’t my first rodeo. This isn’t my first trauma, and luckily I developed tools beforehand. So, I am in the habit of figuring things out, and being in tricky situations.
In a past life I’d have called myself an escape artist. Although, for this trick, I’m not certain how to escape tbh… I digress..
The devil tries to convince you, that your future is no longer attainable. You either give into it, or you give up, thinking that your dreams are no longer possible for you. This is illusion. You will rise again tomorrow morning, and you will, at some point, overcome this thing. It’s a matter of time and understanding.
I’ve created a framework for if you’re uncomfortable and dealing with automatic trauma/addiction/seeking for external ‘signs’ in order to confirm you’re on the right path.
You see, in my life, currently, I can’t feel, I have no sense of feeling or emotion, no impulse, no higher thinking, and my body seems to be my enemy. I have no form of ‘internal’ narrative, and no mental clarity to guide myself with.
But I know a few things.
- My gift requires input, which is fuel. And if, even if I don’t have access to what is happening within, I can sense that my body is creating energy and there is a little enthusiasm, as I go through the motions.
- I know that if I go towards the direction I’m striving for, my energy perks up.
- I know that if I look at certain things, just looking will deplete my energy.
- And I know what direction I need to be aiming for.
- And if I decide to go towards my risk, everything feels possible.
I currently have the obstacle of having zero guidance, zero reference, no impulse, no help, and I feel like I’m in the dark, alone, cut off. It’s scary, but… when we are in the dark, we must remind ourselves that, we are the light, and we are to guide others.
The Direction / Confirmation / Information framework.

I don’t have access to the infinite wisdom of my body, but I do have cues, and by observing, I can sense that I get uncomfortable and immediately start to search for ‘desirable’ things instead of being able to process the emotion, so I have to put all of this aside.
As soon as I start to get a bit ‘nervy’, I have to refer to this framework, to keep me on track.
Am I in need of direction? If this is the case, then I should refer to my plan.
If I am in need of confirmation, I’m seeking for something to tell me that I am ok, and I’m going in the right direction.
If I don’t know something, or how to solve it, instead of having access to that – like I normally do – , I need to refer to the tools that can help me with what it is that I don’t know.
And of course, a reminder, of why I am doing what I am doing.
The paradise, the state of care, feeling, taking care of mama, having my energy back again.
So, having an understanding of my obstacle, gives me a question of where I need to put my focus, and if I can do that, I can chose what is most important. (Bare in mind, that I seem to have had an absolute emotional reset, my EQ is stupid right now). So, having a rational map to help me navigate what it is that I’m feeling is helpful.




