These questions are the result of a podcast I was invited on a few weeks ago. I decided to share my answers in this PODCAST SHOW-NOTES Exclusive.1. Did you have any limiting beliefs or imposter syn…
These questions are the result of a podcast I was invited on a few weeks ago.
I decided to share my answers in this PODCAST SHOW-NOTES Exclusive.1. Did you have any limiting beliefs or imposter syndrome?
Growing up, I’ve had many limiting beliefs, and I’ve experienced imposter syndrome. Though, I have found that imposter syndrome came from me not being where I needed to be. You know, there’s an article by Gary V which talks about how entrepreneurs ARE BORN, NOT MADE. Which explains the 5 main points of what entrepreneurs have within which are natural to them. Or at least they’ve been exposed to it enough to bring out what is inside of them.
So, These 5 traits are:
- A chip on your shoulder.
- An independent spirit.
- Understanding consumers and consumer attention.
- and Patience.
When reading this article, I understood, I had all of these traits, and my cv underlined it, just as Steve Jobs said that it’s by looking backwards that we connect the dots.
That’s when we see what our purpose is!
I went to sales school and it confirmed what I was, though I wasn’t any good with the academic aspect of it. I had a deep rebellious streak, which most entrepreneurs also have. It’s a childhood thing. Childhood experiences of a Father being away on business or starting business, but also experiencing the effects of their stressed characters while being behind scenes, which has effect on the way they treat those around them…
My father also has the ability to talk his way into and out of paper bags. Which I’d later confirm for myself on the field while working for a Jeweller selling Swarovski and Pandora to clients: I had the same gift of the gab too.
2 Having A chip on your shoulder.
I cannot remember a time where I didn’t have a chip on my shoulder. I’ve Aways had a deep need to prove I’m better. NOW This is early, I remember when I was 5 at the playground, asking my mum if I was the best. I was born into a certain amount of luxury, though only to the outside eye. On the inside, at home, we’d have to experience pain and cold, and struggle. So, I grew up believing that we had money, when we didn’t. Which was a real blow to the ego when I found out: I was in fact poor. My mother fought tooth and nail for us to have what we wanted, despite having close to nothing herself. Which also gave me a deep need to succeed in life. I owe it to her, not like a debt, but like a mission. It’s like being part of the aristocracy
with the people around you, yet living like paupers behind closed doors! I was also exposed to wealthy families along the way.my best friends would always have some amount of wealth or at least some sort of power in the world.So, I’d always have a sense of competitivity with my friends which wasn’t so healthy, despite having a good time….
Also, Simply the need to prove it to everyone, to stick it to those who didn’t believe in me, or who made me feel as if I wasn’t good enough from early adolescence onward. Its all an expression of childhood anyway. But it all mounts up…
3rd: An independent spirit.
As for independence, I’ve always had the need for freedom. I’ve always and I mean Always needed to be an independent thinker. My mother told me I was running at the age of 11 months, and climbing up dangerous walls.
She thought I’d be some sort of mountain guide in extreme situations. Because of all the situations I’d been in physically over the course of my life. Basically, it was just me searching for limitations, searching to push further, searching to do better.
Later on in life there was only so much I could discover in the material tangible world, so I went inside. Luckily I am an introvert, so that helped. I’d search for the masculin structure a father could provide, or at least it was absent and so I’d push as far as I could go as a result to find limits. Distance, situations, anything… My father wasn’t home much, he was mainly at work. I’d always push everything to the extreme.
No father, means no identity. For a guy at least. Push that further and you’ll find that it’s a lack of reference. And you build your identity on your own.
4 Understanding consumers and consumer attention.
Understanding consumers is something I’ve done since the age of at least 16 while going into sales courses for example. Though understanding consumers on a deeper level, as well as their attention, I’ve always been pretty deep into psychology, as well as understanding others. This mainly started after I read The Game by Neil Strauss when I was 17.
I started to dig into mentalism and, Ericksonian hypnosis and other techniques and methods. All in the name of love and understanding how to get a girlfriend. Of course, with age you understand that you don’t need to force interactions, they occur naturally…. Though, mainly understanding customers and their desires.This started to occur when I worked at victoria Magdalena for a year while selling jewellery, and then on a much deeper level when I worked at Apple in customer service. These two jobs alone gave me more than enough understanding of how customers functioned and why they’d buy such and such products. Of course there would be influence to take into account too.
And of course, patience. This is something life puts you up to. It puts you in many situations where you’re continually tested. Of course, seeing the grander scheme of things, having patience is how you survive. Because if you make a false move, act too soon, or like in sales rush to see the customeror force them to buy. You’ll end up blowing any possible deals for them or for yourself.
In retrospect, I’ve done a lot of work on myself to undo limiting beliefs. Why on earth would I’d feel paralysed, when time came to take action. I did have one massive limitation to get over despite having imposter syndrome. The Fear of Success. And for me it was very real. It was Crippling even. And before understanding why…. It made no sense at all, that I’d have such a fear within. Especially that I am success orientated, I am driven to succeed, I have an internal Drive for success. I need success’s in my everyday life…. I need to be proud of myself
Well, in moments where I’d feel completely paralysed by any possible action:
publishing my ideas, expressing myself in public, or simply being in collective settings…I’d somehow freeze.
Now, take into account that I’d had sales training, I’d applied “The Game”, I had success with girls, and I was pretty outgoing in high-school. Let’s say I wasn’t much of an introvert back then, go figure…
My fear of success came from childhood situations with my father. He would criticise me harshly, get angry if I didn’t live up to his unpronounced expectations (SHOUTING OUT OF THE BLUE) and didn’t seem to be very patient with me, and would project his fears and experiences (what didn’t work for him, would surely not work for me – in his perception) .
This produced in me the fear of people criticising me, the fear of exposing myself or my ideas, or I’d get angry with myself if I didn’t live up to what I set out to do. I’d put a lot of pressure on myself due to that. And in combination all these things would become a sort of paralysis On the road to aspire to one’s father,— As all kids do —.
I’d put the Hand-breaks on so to speak, which would halt my course of action. This would leave me going round in circles.
In terms of imposter syndrome, I’ve found that what I am doing needs to be in sync with what I am thinking and aspiring to inside. If I am not aligned within and without, I will have the impression that what I am doing doesn’t correspond to what I am. My inner beliefs need to be translated into reality. That’s actualisation. It’s about my expectations. If you are engaged for a specific role, and you don’t have enough internal confirmation you’ll end up firstly doubting your actions, but also doubting everything you attempt.
Imposter syndrome — for me at least…— vanished the second I started to strive towards my purpose and ambitions and taking matters into my own hands. Focussing on what you need to be doing stops imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome arises when you’re not on the right path and you’re simply pursuing money for money’s sake.
2. How did you overcome those false beliefs?
Coaching and following my intuition.Coaching helped me have an unemotional mirror which would send me clear feedback as to what I was projecting, and unbiased information in order to evolve on specific topics.
Developing my intuition — on the other hand— came from trial and error, testing my intuition over and over. Making mistakes over and over, just to see if I was right.
Just to confirm the feeling I had in my gut beforehand.
3. What affirmations did you do to overcome those beliefs?
I haven’t found that Affirmations are entirely useful for me.
I believe we are more like Onions unravelling, and with proper information we chose roles which are more adapted to who we already are. It’s a little like Simon Sineks golden circle in “Start with Why”. We go from inside to outside, not outside to inside,
with our why.
Our lives have already been created and the pains we experience are already in us,
we’ve already experienced them, we just have to trigger them and let go in order to heal. Once we heal those pains, those hurts don’t make sense anymore, so we don’t repeat them. We’re not controlled by them.
We become free once we become conscious of something. You’ll find that you’re more of a consumer than a leader if you spend all your time taking from outside rather than giving from inside. And for this reason, you’ll find that if you are consuming all information, coming from outside of your own convictions and confirmations, you’ll be living through others instead of on your own volition.
For me, life is a series of confirmations, when situations arise, It’s simply a matter of confirmation and observation. For the work I’ve done prior to the situation.
4. How helpful were those affirmations?
I have found that writing what I envision and then coming back to it from time to time as a reference to remind myself has helped me enormously in becoming who I am.
But that’s more like a map, a plan of where you want to go or what you want to achieve.
5. When people break down their limiting beliefs, they become unstoppable, more creative. Therefore, how do you define creativity? How creative are you in your business or life?
I define creativity as an energy, for me its a state of flow where what I envision comes out in writing, in speaking, in music, in ideas and visions or what I can draw or paint.
I would say I am very creative. There’s a difference between creative for productive. These are two different things. Creative is the capacity to come up with ideas, to be stimulated and curious and driven to take action upon them. It’s like an energy switch. Like turning on a light bulb. The energy behind the switch is something you cultivate and then allocate to whatever outlet,- just like electricity.- I practice energetic transmutation, which is harnessing my sexual energy and focussing it towards my creative pursuits, or physical exercise like running or cycling. Productive on the other hand is execution, this depends on your state of health and your discipline to apply your creativity through one outlet or another.
6. Why some people lack in creativity while other don’t.
I believe that it’s something you confirm for yourself and then you practice or cultivate. It’s a little like your name. For example You’re called Dave since you’re young, therefore, your name isn’t up for question. You have confirmed it for yourself, you’re confident that your name is Dave. Creativity is a little similar. You harness it while young and continu to believe in your creativity. You’ve ticked off that box. Now, I’ve had a long moment in life where I wasn’t being creative, Though I wasn’t seeing it as creative. Everyone is creative, just differently. Some people make visual art like paintings or writing, sculptures for example. Others have an art which is more subtle,
like speaking or carrying themselves a specific way, or sports. Think about rappers for example. It’s an art and lifestyle. You have energy, let’s say you have 100 tokens of creativity per day. What do you invest those tokens in? You could either use your creative energy to produce art, and you’d be considered an artist or a painter for example. Or you could use that same energy and apply it to more left brained activities like maths, science or physics. And you’d be considered a physician, a mathematician, or a scientist… Your creativity would be considered the results of your equations and conclusions. I believe that it is part of how you define yourself while you’re young too, and what you fortify through repeated confirmations over the course of your childhood and adolescence. So, I believe people lack in creativity, because they’ve maybe not developed that side of themselves. Or simply they don’t lack in creativity at all, because the creativity we’re seeing isn’t expected as creativity.
Writing a 12 page essay every week -for example- for a law student,-Law students aren’t considered artists, but they practice their art.- that’s creativity, they’re creating a 12 page essay, they’re formulating structure and being creative in their capacity to visualise and translate their thoughts on to paper.
7. Creativity means thinking outside of the box! is it True? or else what is your opinion on creativity?
Creativity can be thinking inside of the box. Parameters vary. You can be creative within a certain structure, or limitation which gives you the possibility to create with X or Y outcome. Say for example I want to paint a painting, and the settings with which I’m aloud to create that painting are only black and gold paint.
That is the box I’m aloud to create in. That is creativity. It is also true for the contrary, say you’re not aloud to use the colour gold or the pigment black, but you’re aloud to use all the others, That is thinking outside of the box for example. Or simply using other types of materials in order to produce an outcome. Creativity when applied to business is problem solving at its finest. Having a Box is like having a plan. I think it was Eisenhower who said,
“No battle was ever won according to plan, but no battle was ever won without one.”
I believe this applies to creativity. We can either chose to paint within the box, or like rules we can disregard them… and simply create on inspiration. It depends on the means of expression.
8. How do you push yourself to think outside of the box?
Well, I’ve experienced being a rebel, and I’ve experienced being a rule follower. I believe pushing myself to think outside the box is Having a vision and wanting to achieve it, no matter what. I suppose, it’s caring to follow the imposed rules or structure, or not .. .
9. How often do you think outside of the box?
I’d say nearly everyday, though I don’t really have a box. I have visions. I actually enjoy parameters to think in. I believe I have achieved a pretty nice degree of freedom within my mind, which allows me to dream and drift. So, I don’t really have any limitations except for the rules on earth and society and of relations which are heavily important. If it comes to beliefs which I find limiting when I catch myself thinking them. I immediately ask myself if its true or if I can create a better belief for myself.
10. What motivates you to think outside of the box.
What motivates me to think outside the box is the crowd. The IQ of the group, is the LOWEST IQ in the group. Let me say that again : The lowest IQ in the group is the IQ of the group. What does that say for trends in collective society? Think tiktok…
I hate being told what to do, but following my intuition and going against the current is something I aspire to. Simply because the decisions I make for myself, are better when I’m not influenced by the mob.Thinking outside of the box in the context of life
is simply a question of survival. There are structures which I find important, but following the rules everyone else has setup can prove to be unfruitful. Forging my own path and believing in myself is my way of thinking outside of the box. Simply because, in contrary, following what others tell me, that makes no sense to my life purpose.
Though, it is useful to sometimes use paths which have been blazed before you.
Over all, it’s a question of adapting to what is RIGHT for you.
11. When you think outside of the box, do you get the desired results you expected?
Life provides me with multiple special moments of subtle lucidity. But I know I can only get these moments, if I follow my intuition and my higher judgement. I haven’t yet been disappointed by life. Only by my own expectancies. Because I want it to happen now, instead of going through the process. And that comes down to the development of patience and not expecting, but doing your best in the present moment.
12. Do you get frustrated when your creative ideas don’t work?
So far, I’ve found that I am an optimist. in this regard. I cannot remember any ideas which haven’t taught me something. I love to learn, and setbacks always have a silver lining. When I was younger, I’d get angry at myself for not living up to my standards and my expectations. But with time, I see that’s wasted energy– in that –its bad for one’s health. It’s just unproductive. So by finding a more harmonious way of living and accepting myself, life has become fluid instead of forced. Therefore, frustration seeps away.
13. What is the main reason people don’t try?
People don’t try because they don’t believe in themselves, or are in fear of the outcome. But better yet, like myself they may have a fear of success and the Trying of X or Y creates a sense of paralysis. People may not try for many reasons. Not believing in themselves, or their skills, or their capacity to overcome obstacles. Though, it can also be environmental; the people around us influence us much more than we know. Our entourage can make or break our belief and vision. It’s essential, if we want to achieve anything, to find a space to think and convince and confirm that what we are doing, we’re doing for the right reasons. Stepping away from people who don’t believe in your projects or ideas is essential, for your creativity as well as your wellbeing, and that of your ideas.
14. What is the reason people give up after trying a few times?
Lack of pleasure in the doing of, lack of results in the achievement, or simply ‘lacking in faith’ that things will get better. I believe that if people give up after a few times, its mainly because they don’t find an accessible foothold in order to start climbing that mountain. They may get overwhelmed by the idea, the implications. It could also be because of the people around them. Criticising where they should be in support. Or voices inside their heads telling them that they are at risk. Telling them that they won’t make it. It’s a fear of death or the unknown. Which isn’t really valid, if we sit with it, it vanishes… Or there has been an instance of repeated pain maybe.
And they have defined that situation, through the perception of a mindset which was biased with pain. It’s important not to write something off simply because we had a bad experience. But to observe if what we believed was written in stone a long time ago, is it still valid ? Or if a door hasn’t opened for us in the meantime, so we can explore it anew.
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