April 2022
The importance of money was starting to weigh heavy on my conscience, I was about to enter ‘the real world’. Yet, I had no monetizable skill. Albeit being a writer, bloger, artist and blablabla, none of that would put food on the table and roof over head. So the idea of learning a new skill seemed to make sense. A skillset that could make money. – An attractive notion.
September 2022
Just starting out back to school. I’d begun studying Full Stack Development. Wonderful I thought to myself. The sense of importance and prestige of going back to school to learn a diploma! Awesome. The last time I’d been in school was in University, and that ended up with me jumping off the 8th floor and, well getting pulled through the window and whisked off to the finger painting academy. Without a diploma. So, getting to somehow learn a skill that could physically set me free was appealing.
October 2022
I could see that studying Code affected my mindset, and the way I thought. Although it was too soon to tell how this would affect my mindset, it was also rather clear that instead of fluid ideation, I’d start to produce structural ideation based on logic or algorythmic sequences. All very Ouhlala. Until one graps that, logic is like sand in a cog when it comes to verbal ideation. Especially if you consume a lot of it, like a duck being prepared for FoieGras.
April 2023
Dad passed away 2 days after my Birthday. The amount of logic prevented me from being emotional and actually helped me to cope with it all. By this time, I’m reading less and I can clearly witness my internal ideation Ebb. Although the logic created energy, it wasn’t my personal soul based logic. Societal logic is different than Personal soul based logic. Society will eat you up and make you conform. Personal will fuel you to the brim with uniqueness. The more Logic you consume, the more you’ll conform. The more you abide by the logic of your heart, the more people will conform to you and your uniqueness.
July 2023
Meet a woman 17 years older than me, for some reason we seem to be on the same level of understanding. Perhaps she’s mentally behind, behaps I’ve been through too much? After a month of romantic get-away, her motives come to the forefront. She’s needing to escape her monetary routine and wanted to rely on me. ‘I am a student.’ I tell her, to her dismay. After consuming the last of my emotional reserves, she broke it off and my life ended up spinning out of control like a car going down hill without breaks. – I can’t find my center-point.
October 2023
I’ve just passed my Full Stack Developper diploma! And I’ve awarded myself a jolly little burnout. I still can’t find my center. I’m starting to feel edgy about How to make money. Because, I don’t want to work, I want my assets to work for me. I’m a wealthy man, not a rich slut. My work works for me, I don’t work for it. My mind is seeking for new ways to monetize my past achievements.
January 2024
Absolute trauma. I’ve hit rock bottom, my head seems to have split into two. I’m not dealing with Bipolarity, although I can see that my emotions are going one way, and my logical mind in another. I can be one way or ther other, not both. Fate is trying to tell me that, I must function from a united point of intention. I’m set on building the UHNW Consultant. Back and forth I sway between trying to be either fully emotion, or psychopathically logical. I can’t find a point of concession. Shut up and work, get it done, get the money then rest.
September 2024
I’m burning out, I can’t focus, my sense of addiction has become enflammed and hyperbolicaly disproportioned. ‘I am become lust’. – Jeeez, I thought I’d overcome that shit…
Here we go again, lets put the pain to bed. But I still need to finish my website and get the offers to market so I can make money.
November 2024
Meet a PsychoPump (soul guide). Tells me that I need to take a break and resource. Cut off from screen, and start to focus on self. I agree. Then don’t do it, then agree to myself, then don’t do it.
Then a ressource comes out of the woodwork, which confirms the importance of the psychopump on putting me back on my path and aligning me with my inner sense of guidance. The one I’d stepped away from in September 2022 when seeking money instead of soul. – Time to take time out. Breathe… I’ve been through A LOT….
December 2024
Stop. This bipolaric state is coming from aiming to do things for money. I’ve just written a book about this specific topic, and yet I’m not following my own words. Hypocrit! Okay, it’s time to let go. Stop seeking money, start seeking fulfilment.
Aiming to do what is good for me, while trusting the universe and the process of life? Okay, done deal. Finding those areas, those inner ledges which made sense before learning Code. The areas of ‘homeliness’ which made sense. The inner directions which felt like absolute peace. – Time to align myself again. Again? Again..
Cherokee.blog 