It’s not that we’re not able to do things, it’s that if we want to do them well we must make sacrifices.

We can do as many things as we like during a period to discover what we like, but once we discover what we like, one must make sacrifices in order to master what they decide to do.

Making a commitment to people is allocating our time and resources to create an outcome, it’s a promise we cannot break unless we’re to sully our relationship. Our word is our bond.

To live up to our word, we must then realign our life around what we commit to. This is a great thing, to be aligned with a specific outcome, though more troublesome when what we commit to isn’t on our path.

To commit to one activity and then become great at it, is to restrain oneself to one journey.
For a generalist like me to specialize, it means to give up just that, the identification that I’m a ‘generalist’. A label that has served me well while searching for myself and what I like. To have a wide panel of things to taste and try. It means that in order to become great at something one must cut off from all other possibilities and trust that what they are engaging in will work out.

A commitment is “an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.“, and who says restriction also makes the decision to become narrow and laser focussed. To commit to an activity is to unscatter yourself and simplify your life to allocate all of your resources to one outcome and discard anything that isn’t that. The Latin word Decision literally means, “to cut off.” Making a decision is about “cutting off” from choices – cutting you off from some other course of action that had nothing to do with the outcome you have chosen. A little like in the movie “Divergent” where one chooses a faction.

Making a commitment to someone means that you’re choosing to allocate your effort and attention to them during the time it takes to fulfill your contract to them. Although, there is a contract, as subtle as it seems, and it needs to be fulfilled. If your Signatory has not relinquished you from your promise, you are not free. This type of pact is what distinguishes you from the wishy-washy swindlers out there, as a trust-worthy person people can rely on. And people want to be able to rely on you. No one wants to be decieved.

More importantly, making a decision is to make your life easier. To simplify decision-making means to have more energy, but also to cut off from things that aren’t necessary. So my questions to you, and to myself are:

-> In the next 3-5-10 years what are you striving to achieve?

-> Do your current actions validate your vision?

-> What isn’t essential in your life? What is a distraction? What is in the way of your progress?

-> What are the best practices to achieve results (for me & related to my decision)?

-> What actions of mine make sense/don’t make sense?

-> Are the people around me, the environment, my mindset, and focus, aligned with what I’m striving to accomplish?

Self-Validation a portal to ultimate power

People like to get recognition from others, they like to look up to someone and get a positive return. People love to ask for validation from others. Though, these people also turn sour quickly when they don’t get the validation they expect. What does this mean then?

We often hear that in order to get something, we have to no longer need it or want it. If we’re no longer seeking that something, we’ve either let go, or we’ve found it somehow. In other words, we no longer desire it, because we’ve achieve it or better.

When we go through life seeking other peoples approval and validation of what we do, we give them the equivalent power of the directors cut. We allow them to define if what we do is good or not. And if we go a step further, we get to observe that – and in the words of Steve Jobs- “the world is made up of people who are no smarter than you.”

Essentially, seeking other peoples approval is -most of the time at least- handing power over to someone who knows shit about what you’re seeking to achieve. Would you let your 5 year old kid decide what type of car or the next decision in your million or billion dollar business? I’m pretty sure that 99% of us would say a clear and affirmative ‘No!’, because a 5 year old has no idea of the outcome, responsibility, of the effect of said decision and what’s more they don’t have a clue about what you want.

I’d say the answer to this is to show the kind of idea (vision board) to the person who you’re seeking validation from, and you might get a comparison validation. Though, that’s not the point. Most of us have expectations and the people we’re seeking out to validate the recognition of our standards are pretty far off if not worlds away from even having a clue about what we want.

We’re the only one’s able to validate if, or not, what we’re (doing, producing, expressing) has any resemblance to the vision we have in mind. Why not be the sole person to decide if it matches or if its good enough?

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