Very often, we men believe that we need to white knuckle through life disregarding all things associated to emotion. We force our way through learning things, we force-feed our minds like ducks for foie-gras and we think we need to be physically strong in all things action. All the while, we’re oblivious to the power of the heart and how much we depend on our will power to get us through difficulties. We solidify ourselves into ‘discipline machines’ in order to apply our vision to external circumstances.
We also, very often miss out on the opportunity to enact our vision with the power of intention. Our actions, when made with the intention to live up to a standard, define the amount of good will we can assert. When we’re alone, we don’t care half as much. This is why women want us to dress nice, have a clean, nice smelling home, and so on. They uphold standards for us!
We make more effort when we know we’re doing it for someone than when we’re doing it for ourselves. And the truth is, this is the process artists use when they have a muse. The artist bridges the gap between his talent and her beauty or whatever he aspires to live up to within her and the bridge is the art he produces while he reaches to ‘please her’.
Having a wife is the same thing (or a girlfriend, one doesn’t need to be married), we aspire to do things well because in doing well for them, we do well for ourselves. It’s a virtuous spiral. Similar to this is the vicious spiral spouses take when they fall out of love and part ways, they spiral out of control, do everything and anything that will displease their partner and end up destroying the union. Not only that, they destroy the possibility to evolve towards a better version of themselves than they could be on their own.
The only reason we need isolation is to conjure up enough pain to force ourselves to change toward being good enough to be in a relationship. And when we’ve had enough of our own nonsense and overcome enough hurdles to stand on our own two feet, we then fall in Love. Or put another way, because we’ve learned to love ourselves by making tones of mistakes, we then realise a way to self-love and respect ourselves by striving for what is good for us. We start working on ourselves and bettering our skillsets and so on and in the process of becoming good at a skill, we then monetise it. This is the moment that defines when we can be with someone, we can stand on our own two feet. When this moment occurs, and our potential starts to show, we then start to become magnetic. Our confidence starts to show, and we attract our significant other.
Our ship will not leave without us, but we cannot get into a relationship if we’re not ready to get on a ship and part for adventure in the first place. And one is ready for adventure, when they realise they have what they need to cross the ocean.