It all started with a crazy idea I had in high-school…
I lacked motivation, I didn’t know how to achieve what I wanted, and I had no incentive to go and get what I wanted anyway. I read the Secret and repeated over and over in conscious fashion ‘I want to be rich‘, ‘I want this and that‘…. yada yada yada.
I then figured out something that no one will ever tell you. In fact, this is something I figured out solely on an intuitive level. So, here we go:
1. You have to define something which will make you grow. A pain seeking identity you’ll come to love. You have to have an aim which will make you go through so much pain that, everything else in comparison becomes a joy to do. You have to learn to love the pain you go through to the point that you have to make a conscious decision to let go of the personal identification that pulls you towards the outcome of seeking pain.
2. You have to actually go through the pain. This will expand you on so many levels. But it will hurt like a m*ther f*cker. I’m not going to lie to you. You will go through hell to get to the other side. But I garantee you, if you go through your personal hell, you will come out the other side with rocket fuel to achieve your dreams.
3. While going through the pain, you expand. You must also learn to appreciate the pain you’re seeking. This will build up resilience and a certain degree of patience, but also a whole new perspective on doing things once you come out the other side.
4. Once you’ve gone through the process, once you’ve expanded, and you’ve come to love the pain you’re going through. It’s time to let go. You must learn to let go of the identity that is no longer serving you. You’ve outgrown the shell that has served as your master, who you’ve been a slave to during your painful expansion.
5. The pain identity you’ve been living through is high value to you. But this is good, because as it’s high value, the trade off will also be of high-value. Imagine, you purchased bitcoin when it was only 0.10cents and then went through all the highs and lows associated. Along the way you grew with your coin, emotionally you went through stress, you went through elation and so on. And then Bitcoin reached 40000€ and you decided to sell that Bitcoin against a house or land or something you perceive as equal value.
6. Devest yourself from your investment in identity. For example, my investment was in my identity, I became something which was so painful to be that I couldn’t not experience pain, difficulty, embarrassment: expansion… Though, once I devested from this identity my personal vessel had expanded so much that what comes next is child play next to what I had been through. You must be ready to let go of something in exchange for what you want. What are you willing to let go of for your dream? It’s an exchange.
7. Your new north star of identity. Once you’ve been through the process, you’ve expanded, you’ve learned to love what you are despite it being painful, uncomfortable, miserable etc. Then you can now determine a new north-star. Your identity, if you stop forcing yourself, is like an elastic band, it goes back to its epicentre once you stop tugging. You have to settle for a while in order to let go. But once you’ve defined that your prior painful identity is no longer serving you, once you’ve reached rock bottom, all you can do is go upwards. Your now “empty” vessel (from having been through so much pain), is now ready to learn, to be filled up. You’re now ready to get what you want. You’re now ready to fly.
8. Once you’ve defined what you want. You must associate all the possible pleasures that you can to the new north star you’re aiming for. The journey must be hard, but it doesn’t matter, because no matter how hard it may seem, it won’t be as hard was what you’ve been through, especially if you chose to go through pain as I did. The thing is, when you go through pain, you can’t help but experience life as easy afterwards. And so your difficult is now fluid and easy even enjoyable, where other peoples difficult is painful because of what they have associated to it.
9. Go all in, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You will succeed, because you are not fully immersed in your path to greatness, and you will lead the way with grace because your new north star is nothing but pleasure. Even patience has become a benefit, you don’t even focus on the task as waiting for the time to pass, you actually want more time because your immersion in your new hard task, your new ambitious task is nothing but sheer joy. The contrast of Hell has helped you to experience the hardships of life as nothing but joy.
If you want greatness, you must be willing to swap something of equal value. You must be willing to give up your old self if you’re to pursue your new, improved and unlimited self.
But if you’re not ready to give up what you are, how can you expect to be what you want?