When the dream starts to breakdown

Everyone builds their lives from their dreams and visions, and strive to live a life
of perfection, as if in an eternal loop in Groundhog day. Except that life isn’t like that.
We dream from the pov of not having what we dream of, because we wish to experience
what we dream about as we haven’t yet done so. We desire something, because we believe it will take away our pain or deliver a pleasure great enough to help us forget pain. Whatever the reason,
we dream.

We make it up the mountain, and obtain success. We then sit on the snowey peak, drink our tea out of a flask and contemplate how great we are for about five and a half seconds. We’ve achieved what we wanted, we can now flaunt it to the world, enjoy the fruit of our labour and party like there’s no tomorrow. And then what?

Then the clouds part, and we see there are higher levels to the mountain. Another desire or dream rears its head and off we go again, forgetting how important it was for us to reach the current peak. We continue seeking another peak, and soon what we achieved on our snowey peak makes little to no sense
in fact we’d probably gladly give it away.

As we near our next goal, the previous ones tend to fade in comparison. The competition bike we purchased so passionately only a few years ago sits in the garage gathering dust, so do the sports cars we hoped would bring us love and acceptance. The beautiful wife turned out to be a gold digger and had flirted with pretty much every man under the sun when one’s back was turned. Suddenly, the dream we hoped for, gets picked a part. The vision starts to crumble. We want something else. The desires we so hoped for, were nothing more than an illusion.

The flashy, loud and desirable outcomes we had once desired now seem status quo. Someone else always has something better.

And so we take a different path. Our once desired outcomes are now normal and even boring, we want something else, something better, something which turns us on and makes us high, something exciting.
Yet, I believe many of us fail to realise that human beings are not infinite, and we are not exponential, especially when it comes to energy. At some point we cannot go any higher without inflicting damage to ourselves or to others. At some point the scaffolding becomes unstable. Even the highest building in the world has a limit. Its a crazy limit, but it has one.

So what then? Rather than go up, we go down, rather than go out, we go in. We stop running after things, we take a break from “others” and rediscover ourselves anew. Minus other peoples perceptions, we get to discover our actual value, rather than what others define us as, and suddenly we act in accordance to what we feel and know to be true on the intangible but undeniable level within.

As we near more and more who we are, we step away from those who are not like us. In doing so, we discover ourselves even more, deeper. Rather than more money, we want more life, more experience, more enjoyment, more love. Rather than more material possessions, we discover more insights and have more ‘aha’ moments of confirmation as to what we’re really seeking, our inner self, our state of consistency. And to align to our inner consistency means that we follow the beat of our own drum. Rather than external confirmation and affirmation, which breeds ego and vanity. We seek those who are harmonious with us, we seek to be as consistent with what we want, we seek to please ourselves so that we can please others, instead of pleasing others so that we can please ourselves. If there is nothing within, no direction, no tree upon which to hold onto during the storms, we’re like a kite blown around.

As we consolidate who we are, and do more and more what applies to what we are, life is more about our own journey than it is about social milestones for acceptance. Though our journey shouldn’t be alone. In most certainty, it is “together that we go far”. Although we do die on our own, shouldn’t we learn to live together to the best of our extent until the very last milisecond? We must find those who resemble us.

On our journey towards what makes sense within, of course we step away from what no longer makes any sense. And as we focus more and more upon what we are and what we’re in search for, our focus no longer spends any time on our previous peaks. They’re ‘nice-to-haves’, but they are disposable. Of course, we are frequency beings, our need to live in accordance to what we are in order to find “comfort” within is important. Comfort doesn’t necessarily rhyme with discomfort. Expansion and growth doesn’t have to always be painful. Sometimes it can be quite enjoyable. In fact, if we seek to expand our spiritual internal self before we expand our material existence, any victory, no matter how small is felt a thousand times more. While expanding out spiritual selves after the obtention of our material circumstances will almost ensure that we somehow make the mistake of letting go of what we worked so hard to get in a mistaken gesture to get rid of what we believe is pain. But what pain really is, is shedding the shell, the false beliefs and discovering whats best for us, despite our false beliefs and illusions. And now that we have the distinction between what is truly needed and what is nice but not necessary, one fades away, I’ll let you come to that conclusion.

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